Whose Day Are You Making?

So tonight on my way to church, a few blocks from my church, I heard someone scream my name. I turned and saw one of the guys from church.  He was rushing to go somewhere so I waved him and walked on. Then this dude that I had noticed who had parked his car and was playing or texting someone on his phone called out my name too.

'Oh so you heard my name and decided to call me right? Because I don't recall telling you my name' The silly me who walks around laughing about nothing in particular kept laughing.  How then was the dude supposed to take me seriously even if I didn't like the idea of him trying to talk to me.  He offered to take me wherever I was going. My church is just here. He didn't believe me, I had to point it out to him. 'So you are going to church to pray for a hubby.' I laughed till my cheeks hurt. (Sweetness, we don't go to church only to pray for husbands.  I go to church because my soul is happy when I go there. It is addicted to church: hubby or no hubby. It keeps me in check, what is taught from the Bible at church is the standard  by which I live my life. Thank you! ).

After our conversation, I bid him goodbye but  not before recognizing who he was. He was all calm that I'd made him out. (A celeb obviously). I still tried going my way and then he asked for my number after which he did something Gh boys you meet for the first time barely do.

He walked closer: pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. I walked into church thinking. What the hell just happened? Did he really do that? Ok: sorry he may have been a stranger to me but I liked what he did though he caught me unawares. You see, I would love to see him again. I may not go that extra mile with him (No!)  but I'm thinking he made my night with that act. (I love what he did. Call me silly but that's just me ).

I'm thinking how many people's day I make in a day. Sometimes I just ignore people completely whilst it costs absolutely nothing to put a smile on their face. Life is short. When you have the chance to make someone smile, don't waste it. May I ask: 'Whose day are you making?' You could help someone by sharing what you have with them or by just giving them a listening ear. Which ever way you do it, what matters is: you are making someone's day and making them smile. 

Reading something tonight and it  makes  me sad.
Last day of 2015. Grateful for life and the blessings of these last few days. My God redeemed me before the sound of the final whistle for full time.

Do You Know The Birthday Boy?

'Silver bells, silver bells
Its Christmas time in the city
Ring- a- ling, hear them ring
Soon it will be Christmas day...'

Blake Shelton's silver bells and I love it!

Well the yultide season is here again , a time when christians around the world commemorate the birth of Christ. It's  a time for celebration, a time to give, a time to  spend with loved ones and those who mean the world to you. A time to take vacations, to get married and do lots of things I guess.

One thing I love about Christmas is the carols and the dozens of activities lined up: shows, plays, parties and the list goes on. My Christmas began last week with the Mtn festival of lessons and carols, party and this week, parties, play: more fun.....Last night, festival of lessons at church  got me smiling from ear to ear. I felt young again. It ended early enough so after party could begin. I went to bed at three in the morning so your guess is as good as mine.

It was crazy. Ghanafuo wo krom: y3 wo krom which literally means 'We are in town.' Republic, So ho, Coco lounge,  well from the little I saw, 'we are in town.' I loved the spirit but I
just came to the realization that it really does not matter which way you choose to celebrate. What matters is if this yuletide means anything to you. Do you know the birthday boy?

Remember a personal relationship with the birthday person is the reason for the season.
You can't be a gate-crusher or an ordinary guest at his celebration: 'a personal relationship or a continuous personal relationship' with him will make the season more meaningful. Be or keep being a friend of Jesus....

The liquor, the dudes and girls, smoke and you know the others will not depict the real reason for the season. It's a spirit soul and body thing.  Whilst we do all that, do not lose yourself: there's a reason for the season.

Wishing you all the blessings that come with the celebration of his birth: joy, peace, good health amongst others.

I love my friends who are sending me glad tidings and then stating from: Mr&Mrs...................Everybody should get married already and send me such messages....lol.

Puppishgirl sending you seasons Greetings...

Childhood Tales: Redco Days...

I did not  stay at Redco, I was only going there for vacations till I twisted my leg. I remember how my Stella would carry me around the Police Hospital once  we arrived. No wheel chair for me at the time and since I couldn't walk I had to be carried.  Once my leg was put in a cast, I learned to walk hopping on one leg after wearing it for two weeks.

The difficulty was that, mostly I had to stay home whilst others played downstairs. It got Boring for me so after two weeks I learned to descend the stairs with my cast. I found it easy holding on to the railings but climbing back upstairs was always a difficult task. After that vacation, I didn't go back to Ho. Redco became home for over thirteen years.

I remember I never learned to skip with two people holding on to the skipping rope due to my fear of the rope hitting my legs. I would rather hold it for others to skip. I  remember Redco day and night watchmen.

One of the incidents that shook the neighbourhood of Redco was when  a man on the fourth floor behind our  block decided one night to throw his wife away downstairs. She was by then the Matron at Presec, Legon. She had not died on the spot but had told the night watchman who had heard the sound and patrolled round the building to find her laying there in her undergarments. They must have   been   arguing   when the incident occurred.

That story had made the news for a while in the country. I still recall how the ambulance carrying her remains had come to Redco and the crowd that thronged her block to catch a final glimpse of her. She was later sent away to her hometown for the funeral. Her husband was made to face the full regals of the law and incarcerated   (Their daughters whom I knew from a distance must be big girls now).

So one of the things I appreciate about Redco was,  it taught me one major lesson I never thought I was taught at home  : it exposed me to sex education .  At an early age of eleven, I heard stories of boys having sex with girls. They made it seem like a  trend. I remember how I would never walk past the big Redco boys. Sadly I recall how one of the coolest big boys got shot in the states right after Senior High School where he went to visit his Aunty. I liked him because he was quiet. He was so cute and would ask how I was doing. We never saw him again as his body was never brought home (Bless  his gentle soul).

Yes there were two sets of boys. Those I could stand up to and those who were eight or more years older. I just freaked out when I saw them gathered together. I think I was also shy of them once I hit adolescent.  The second whom I was comfortable with, were really cool. The big ones if I ever spoke with them was because they wanted to ask about Gifty.

So I vividly recall Redco parties. Those parties were hot. Kissing, smooching, whatever.......Now tell me, I had seen it all. I knew what was wrong and what was right. It was at Redco that I started making a list of boys who asked me out. I would clearly stand up to you and tell you: you were the fifteenth boy asking me out ( I just enjoyed counting, I never said yes. It massaged my ego in a way). I felt like some beauty queen:  already my Dad had told me I was. Yet validation   from my peers did matter (Hilarious! Adolescence issues).

So my Stella hated the idea of us standing downstairs with the boys. She preferred us having the boys over at our house where she could keep an eye on us. I remember how Gifty would get invited to parties for thirteen  year olds but would not be able to attend because of me. I never got invited because party hosts probably thought I was underage. I hated that about Redco parties, party hosts always had an age limit.

Redco was fun. I really would not want to offend anyone by telling a tale or two but Redco was the place. It exposed me to sex education at an early age. It made me aware that there would always be boys and frankly that every boy was a liar when it came to expressing their feelings for you (Hahahahah...yeah  back then). It was more of a self interest thing for them than  being truthful.

With fond memories of Redco.
Wonder if it's still as fun these days as it was during our time.

#ChildhoodTales

#RedcoDays

Some people will not be viewing this blog again as I just remembered to remove a few addresses linked to the puppishgirlblogspot.com
My apologies if you get affected: personal decision. 
Google if you want to read.
Thanks.
It's Christmas already.

Seasons Greetings!!

Childhood Tales: Living with Grandpa

I remember I had the opportunity to live with my maternal grandparents at age seven or so for a full academic year. My Dad was studying abroad and my Mum worked in Ada. I lived with my grandparents mainly because my parents wanted us to go to a good school. Around that time, two of my cousins also came to live with my grandparents and so we were five grandchildren living with them.
Vacations were spent with my Mum, Aunty or Uncle.

I recall how four of us (excluding the oldest of us all) could get into the shower and bath for hours till parts of the house got flooded. My granny who couldn't see at the time would only hear us screaming and singing in the bathroom.  After a while,  she would ask us to get out of the shower but we would ignore her and bath for hours till half of the place got flooded.

Usually it would be the househelp telling my Granny that the place was getting flooded but we would never step out till we were tired.  It would be the househelp's  duty to clean up the place after we were done.

There was this game that we all enjoyed playing. Since my granny couldn't see, we took delight in removing her stool from wherever she placed it so in the end she ended up falling on stones. Ho where we lived is noted as a stoney town and one of the things Grandma Lucy enjoyed was sitting outside in the mornings at the backyard. She always carried her own stool outside to sit down but as troublesome as we were, would pull the stool before she got seated making her fall down. We would end up bursting into laughter and then she would eventually realize that we had planned it. Of all the games in the world, all five of us enjoyed playing this particular one.

Grandma Lucy was noted for punishing people at dawn. She chose that period to beat you for something you did the previous day since you would run away. At dawn, you ended up enjoying your sleep forgetting about  your past deeds yet Grandma Lucy would beat you whilst you were sleeping and let you know why she was beating you.

So I don't recall exactly what I did wrong but then she promised to get me at dawn. Gifty and I being the oldest grandchildren at the time shared the same bed. I woke up in the middle of the night and swapped sleeping places with Gifty who was fast asleep.  My granny knew I slept at the other side of the bed by the wall. When she woke up, since Gifty and I  had the same hairstyle,  once she felt her hair she thought it was me. She started beating Gifty. Gifty woke up crying and asking: 'Grandma, why are you beating me? What did I do?' 'Oh Gifty, I'm sorry I thought it was Elikem.' By then I had jumped out of bed and left the room. I never allowed her to lay a finger on me.

I remember breakfast. We all took turns daily to prepare breakfast. By seven you had to be seated at the dining table at your rightful place. Grandpa knowing we were short had throw pillows on each chair so we could all access  the table. Once it was your turn to fix breakfast, you were in charge of making sure the househelp: Aunty Mansa (Of blessed memory, she was so lovely and patient) filled up the kettle and  grandpa was in charge of making the hot water. Once it was done, you made everyone a cup of milo and grandpa coffee. You were also in charge of the bread and making sure we all had our slices which grandpa made sure were really small so you could have  a slice cut into  about four pieces spread with margarine, chocolate spread or cheese. The fruits for the morning like orange had to be ready too. We all sat down and whoever was in charge for the day would say a prayer and we all ate in silence. No talking at Grandpa's table.

In the evenings when grandpa got back from work, he would take a long shower of about an hour minimum (Still can't tell why he took forever), then he would eat his dinner.  He made sure all of his grandchildren shared his meat or fish by  calling us beginning with the youngest, one after the other to feed us.

Grandpa had this wine fiat which we all took turns to sit in the passenger's seat by Grandpa. He drove us to school (my school was just a walking distance from where we lived, same vicinity: Mawuli Estates), the market: where we only stayed in the car awaiting Aunty Mansa. Mostly, he would drive us to the library in the mornings after breakfast during vacations and Saturdays where he registered us. Whether you liked it or not, you had to stay till midday and read a book. If you couldn't finish reading it, you ended up borrowing it to take home.(Guess that's where I fell in love with reading). My neighbours were our best friends as we went everywhere together though we went to different schools.

There's absolutely no way I can forget what happened after school one day. School had closed and I stood at the entrance waiting for Gifty so we could walk home together. She was three classes ahead of me. I stood unawares as a senior pushed me into the hedges and beat me up. She made sure she scratched my face with her fingers for a crime I can still not tell. I was helpless as I couldn't fight back (That day, I resolved never to fight anyone: I was a weakling. Afterall, my little brother could even beat me up how much less a stranger. Fighting was not made for me).Grandma made sure that girl was properly dealt with by sending my small Aunty to the school authorities.

I became friends with some girls who were two years ahead of me and lived on my street but farther away. One invited me to go to her house after school: so all three of us met at her house. Each time I went, they would leave me all by myself to go play in a tank whilst I watched tv. One afternoon I began to wonder why they always invited me yet left me out when they were playing. If I wasn't their age, why did they make me their friend, I really began to wonder. I got curious and followed them to the tank. I saw them doing something funny (Grandma probably knew and stopped me from going there once I told her: little girls playing gay).

There was a tree between my neighbours house and ours where all the kids (our immediate neighbours: our best friends and us) gathered not under but on the tree to talk. I had learned to climb it too but fell flat on my chest during one of our tree climbing expeditions. I never told anyone and we the children kept it a secret amongst ourselves till I had a prolong chest problem after the fall.

Weekends were fun (guess that's where I fell in love with travelling). Grandpa loved to travel and would take us with him wherever he went. We would stop over at places to eat or visit people he knew. Grandpa could chase us just to ensure we went to church even when he wasn't going to church himself.  Grandma and Grandpa attended different churches so mostly we went to grandma's church.
I recall birthday parties. Grandpa's Piano and  Christmas decorations.
Christmas, new year, easter and the new clothes, bags and shoes. I remember taking photos together as a family and the bond that existed.

Whilst my grandma had her own share of problems, grandpa had his too. I remember how my siblings and younger cousin would finish a tin of milo and pour sand into it only for grandpa to find out during breakfast.

I recall one vacation, school had vacated on a Wednesday and they had still not decided where we were going to spend the long vacation.  My cousin: Rejoice and I decided to join our neighbour who by then was in senior high school to push a wheel barrow. He had been carrying stones from a particular house to his house. We would sit in the wheel barrow  whilst he pushed us till we arrived at the place where the stones were. We would walk back with him and sit in the wheel barrow once he emptied it. He pushed it so fast that we had to jump out of it or else he poured us out like he did to the stones. I vividly recall a certain woman who had been passing by cautioned us but we ignored her. Then the unexpected happened. The guy did his usual pouring us out on the side where I was seated. I was not fast to jump out he ended up pouring me out and I could not get up again. My leg had turned in the opposite direction as I screamed out in pain. He had to carry me home. Grandma bathed me and decided to massage my leg. Our neighbour also came to massage it but the more they did, the more I cried as the pain was unbearable. My twisted leg wouldn't go back to normal too. Grandma gave me a pain reliever and I went to sleep since I couldn't walk.

When Grandpa got back from work, he decided I needed proper medical attention so he had the househelp pack our things. He made a quick call and told us we were going to Accra for vacation. Apparently we were too troublesome.  Two days into the vacation one of us had twisted her leg. He couldn't tell what else would happen if we had to stay for four to five weeks. We were sent to our parents on Saturday dawn. It ended up being my worst vacation ever as I couldn't walk for over a month and had my right leg in a cast.

#Childhood Memories
#Living with Grandpa (Spider man)

In memory of my maternal grandparents:  Lucy and Fritz Agra with fond memories of my childhood days.

Childhood Tales: The Girl Guides Experience

Lovely weather tonight and it reminds me of the girl guides training centre. One of the memories I hold so dear is my Girl Guides camping experiences. As the saying goes, once a guide, always a guide.

Girl Guides taught me quite a number of things. Firstly as a ten year old, I had never lived on my own. I still remember when my Stella of blessed memory (Last Friday marked exactly five years she was returned to dust ) would drop me off at the training center. Surrounded by weeds and trees, the Girl Guides training center seemed to have been the only building in the forest if I'm allowed to put it that way. You saw no lights and heard no sounds except for that of birds chirping and perhaps wild animals. Once a while you were lucky to hear the sound of a car.
The thought of running away never for once occurred to me. This was a boarding house experience devoid of seniority. We were all Guides. The junior didn't have to sleep on the top bed. Allocation of beds was based on first come first served basis.

There was no indication that there were seniors and juniors. We were all sisters, even the seniors pampered the younger girls.

They allowed me to go camping because my Stella was once a guide and beside my uniform, I became the owner of her guides uniform with all the badges she had earned.

Give me a G: G
Give me a U: U
Give me an I:I
Guides are smashing, guides are cool.....

As we trek along together, shall we sing a song...
love, love, love and sorrow who knows what comes tomorrow,  love, love as we trek along..

Oh I have an Aunty
An Aunty Monica...

There were cheese,
Cheese, cheese to make the mice go round....

Legon Girl Guides are coming
Will you give way for them ohhhh.....

Midnight feasts in Elsie dormitory or Ruby dorm( I only slept in these two dorms each time I went camping) Entertainment( Saturday night),  fun day out.
You ate the food whether you wanted to or not. A sense of owning your own stuff and being responsible. I guess you've got to learn to be a lady....

There my writing began.
Turning my Girl Guides camping experiences into fiction( They were deemed crap in those days as i littered the place with papers covered with things i had written and today I write just more than camping  experiences).

I miss wearing that blue dress with my enrollment badge on the left side of my chest. My red scarf: yes my company was known for wearing red scarf and spotting my black combat shoes. One of the things I would always remember: the lessons I learned and I miss those days.
Reminiscing on my childhood days with love from the Ghana Girl Guides Training Center. I' m wondering if my Girl Guides teacher is still alive but I sincerely hope she is.

#Childhood Memories
#Girl Guides stories

Saturday marked my sister's   special   day.
Congratulations @Mancee Adiku.

Photo source: Anita Erskine 

Cuties Readerfeast : Thank You!

Last Saturday, 5th December,  the Cuties Readerfeast team was at Okwampa  near Bawjiase in the central region   where we hosted one hundred children to a Readerfeast.

We started off with a screening and registration session for participants aged six to fourteen years from Okwampa  and its   surrounding villages.

With one volunteer leading all the children  and taking them through a phonetic  refresher session using fun methods such as phonetic songs and rhymes,  the children were eventually placed in appropriate   groups depending on their ages, class and their ability to read.  The team comprising eight  volunteers took the children through a two hour reading clinic. The children   were later assessed  to enable the team find out the level of impact made on them. Those who were able to do the task assigned to them were rewarded. The clinic was followed by a feasting segment where the children were fed. Every child went home with a souvenir to constantly   remind them of the   Readerfeast experience .

A few weeks ago, I learned   about  investing in the   Kingdom of God and thought  I   would put this into practice. Thank you to the almighty   God for making   this a dream come true.

A special  acknowledgement   to  a man who believes in investing in  children regardless of of their geographical location: Rev. Ankrah. He  was on a mission   to spread the good news of Christ to people in Okwampa  as well as its neighboring villages and gave the Cuties Readerfeast   team the platform  to hold this event.

Thank you to EPP books services and to everyone   who supported   us. Through  donations, rendering of services,  I cannot   mention everyone   but I want you   to know that I truly   appreciate   your support   and   donations.

It was such a joy  seeing the smiles on the faces of these children.
It felt like  we had put some sunshine in their  lives.
Every child in Ghana, deserves to have access to story books. They deserve to be able to speak and read English regardless of their geographical location. Cuties Readerfeast, is a foundation  which is solely dedicated   to   helping a rural child  read and speak English. Though we may not have been   able to provide all of the  needs of these children,  we are glad we achieved  our goal: 'to put sunshine   in the   life of a rural child.' It's our pledge to do so at Cuties Readerfeast.

In all, we had a good Readerfeast.
Thank you to those amazing kids.
Thank you Okwampa village.

Like every dream, this has been quite challenging   as well but
on this journey,  some people have been  God sent. 
Thank you   to my Saturday   team of volunteers and for everyone who was there doing one thing or the other to ensure a successful event. You guys   were amazing!

Cuties Readerfeast: Thank You!

Last Saturday, 5th December,  the Cuties Readerfeast team was at Okwampa near Bawjiase in the central region   where we hosted one hundred children to a Readerfeast.

We started off with a screening and registration session for participants aged six to fourteen years from Okwampa and its   surrounding villages.

With one volunteer leading all the children  and taking them through a phonetic  refresher session using fun methods such as phonetic songs and rhymes,  the children were eventually placed in appropriate   groups depending on their ages, class and their ability to read.  The team comprising eight  volunteers took the children through a two hour reading clinic. The children   were later assessed  to enable the team find out the level of impact made on them. Those who were able to do the task assigned to them were rewarded. The clinic was followed by a feasting segment where the children were fed. Every child went home with a souvenir to constantly   remind them of the   Readerfeast experience .

A few weeks ago, I learned   about  investing in the   Kingdom of God and thought  I   would put this into practice. Thank you to the almighty   God for making   this a dream come true.

A special  acknowledgement   to  a man who believes in investing in  children regardless of of their geographical location: Rev. Ankrah. He  was on a mission   to spread the good news of Christ to people in Okwampa  as well as its neighboring villages and gave the Cuties Readerfeast   team the platform  to hold this event.

Thank you to EPP books services and to everyone   who supported   us. Through  donations, rendering of services,  I cannot   mention everyone   but I want you   to know that I truly   appreciate   your support   and   donations.

It was such a joy  seeing the smiles on the faces of these children.
It felt like  we had put some sunshine in their  lives.
Every child in Ghana, deserves to have access to story books. They deserve to be able to speak and read English regardless of their geographical location. Cuties Readerfeast, is a foundation  which is solely dedicated   to   helping a rural child  read and speak English. Though we may not have been   able to provide all of the  needs of these children,  we are glad we achieved  our goal: 'to put sunshine   in the   life of a rural child.' It's our pledge to do so at Cuties Readerfeast.

In all, we had a good Readerfeast.
Thank you to those amazing kids.
Thank you Okwampa village.

Like every dream, this has been quite challenging   as well but
on this journey,  some people have been  God sent. 
Thank you   to my Saturday   team of volunteers and for everyone who was there doing one thing or the other to ensure a successful event. You guys   were amazing!

Cuties Read A Book Fete

Do you know not every child of school going age who is in school, can speak, read or understand English in Ghana?

Yet they always have to sit for the same basic exam as city pupils though in the rural areas, access to story  books is still a distant dream.

The Cuties Readerfeast train, will be at Ekuampa a village near Bawjiase in the Central region for a two hour Readerfeast on Saturday 5th December at 2pm.

A special thank you to everyone who has supported us thus far. I value and appreciate all the love, donations and support.

Thank you to Rev.Paa Nii Ankrah for believing in my dream and giving me the CCI platform to do this.

Cuties Readerfeast: helping put sunshine in the life of a rural child
I pledge.....

Raindrop

I think you'd like this story: "Raindrop" by Puppishgirl on Wattpad http://w.tt/1QSSz9M. Get the app now: https://www.wattpad.com/download

I'm A Leaf....

Can't read me,
get my user guide.
Always laughing,
even in my darkest time,
no one takes me seriously because I probably hide behind a mask.
'Tough girl' issues but I cry too.
In my alone time,
I will think about that situation.
I may not show it,
but I'm human too.
I may not let you see the tears but I cry
I may not ask you
I may not mention it because I learned to stop whining and nagging.
Yes someone taught me to be tough.
I may not say it but deep inside,
my mind is made up and overlook flaws especially when you are not 'a take home trophy'
If I'm not asking doesn't mean I'm ignorant
I'm only trying to act civil about it.
Mean or not.
There's someone in the world that has never been mean to me.
Never!
It may have taken over a year to realize it but it makes me remember that there's always that one person who would never want to crumple that leaf.
I didn't go icy...
I just grew to choose only those
who deserve to have a drink with me.
Celebrate my worth..
I'm a leaf
I can be green
I can wither....
I ain't wasting time on 'you'
Out of the loop..
Watch it fall apart
I'm a leaf
I just fell off the  tree.
I'm a leaf!!

Screams From The Apple Tree...

If I could talk,
I would scream this out loud and clear.
If I could speak,
I would sing it out like a song and
if I could fly,
I would fly like a bird to perch on a building or a tree somewhere just to sing this to you.
Pick my apple...
They are sweet...
Pick my apple I won't ever trouble you again..
Pick my apple
I miss you...
Just pick it already...
Pick it like it is your lifeline
Pick it like you regret ignoring it
Pick it like a remorseful being
Life like the apple tree
Life like apples..
You can't choose who gets to pick you
Shit a brick...
I'm full of forgiveness...
Forgive the apple tree for screaming so loud.
It screams for a reason...
Screams from the apple tree! !!!!!

If you can't grasp  what's being taught, at least you can write some poetry. Just checking to see if my creative mind can still do poetry. 

...Its been so long. One novel: 'Raindrop' Oh sorry title has changed to 'My Favourite Romantic Novel' but cover hasn't changed yet, takes every free time I get....I've been out of touch with the world..I could live in a jungle right now with a tab, laptop and phone...call me weird....I'm boring...it's official!. Finally done.. I'm almost hitting 500 reads. Thank you to everyone. Read whilst it's still free..soon it will be removed leaving behind just a few chapters.

Under His Eyes...

I will speak of your glory,
I will show forth your beauty, if I dance it won't be enough, if I shout it won't be enough.

For you are the great and mighty God
So worthy to be praised
You're beautiful for all situations.
You are the joy of the whole world.

'Mighty God by Joe Praize and the Soweto gospel choir.

When I think upon your goodness
and your faithfulness each day
I'm convinced it's  not because I'm worthy-
to receive the kind of love that you  give
but I'm grateful for your mercy
and I'm grateful for your grace
and because of how you've put out yourself,
I have come to sing this song out in praise

Imela, Imela

Okaka Onyekeruwa

Imela Imela Eze m Oh.

'by Imela by Nathaniel Bassey ; my thanks giving song.

I could sing a hundred of them right now because I'm bursting with joy. I'm  speechless. I'm lost for words. ...

I didn't come here to write about anything in particular,  I just came here to praise that man of Galilee who is ever so faithful.  A God who doesn't disappoint, a God who makes sure he does just what he says.

This afternoon,  something happened that could have changed my life's story.
Something that could have stolen my joy and left me questioning God for a while.

In that hour of receiving that call of distress and rushing to see a mini crowd. I remember I stood a few metres away from them wondering, why didn't you give me a sign? Even in my dreams,  when you do concerning the most minute things in my life. I was certain that death had visited my home.  I almost lost my Dad this afternoon.

I  just came to praise.
I  just came to worship.
I just  came to say thank you Lord.

This victory over death is not for me.
This victory  is not for my earthly father.
This victory is not for the prayer I said this morning.
This victory is for the God of all times ; we are under his eyes. 
God of Ruth, Hannah and now God of Elikem.
My redeemer has not only come through for me.
He has taken away my shame and disgrace; trust the rumour mill to have  made this a news headline for months.
I just came to say, thank you Jesus!

With appreciation to God almighty for his unfailing love.

Scars And Stars: Letter From Lem II

Dear Little Sister,

The last time, I was telling you about Errol and I. So after the doctor called to tell him to have more sex with me, he would still not touch me. We grew apart by the day. He still came home after 10 pm. By now I was becoming tired and could no longer drive. Errol did not own a car, he had never owned one in his entire life time.So he drove my car to work and back. Benefits of living with Lem I guess.

A week after the doctor had called him. I could not take it anymore, I decided to confront Errol. He lay beneath the sheets and the lights were off in our bedroom.  As usual I lay at my side of the bed and my back and feet hurt so much. I needed to take a pee, I struggled to get out of bed with so much effort.  When I glanced at Errol's side of the bed, I could see his phone light on. Meaning he was texting on his phone beneath the sheets. I struggled to get out of bed. I walked to the bathroom and back. This had been the life. I had done this all alone with absolutely no help from Errol. Errol was laying in that same position with his lights on when I returned from the bathroom.

I lay back on my side of the bed and began to cry. He didn't even bother to ask why I was crying. Little Sister, I had to let out all the hurt and pain I had been feeling for seven or so months. This is not what I had bargained for. Though prior to this time, I had been single and lonely, I never envisaged a time like this.  When I would lay beside a man but still weep. I learned that the tears I had cried as a single woman didn't even bring much pain like it brought me, living with a man.

When I was single, I  lay alone on my bed and felt lonely with no one to talk or laugh with. Now here I was, not alone yet feeling lonely. There's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. You should not feel lonely in a relationship, when your man leaves you feeling alone and lonely, any other man who feeds your emotions can take his place easily. As women, we crave to be heard and listened to. No one was listening to me. At least not the man I wanted to listen to me. I got what I deserved I thought. I am so ugly. I'm not attractive anymore. I am not good for him. I am just a piece of rag; he stays in my house, comes after 10pm to sleep.  Never picks my call when he is out. Never calls me when he is out except if he wants to know what he would be having for dinner. He drives my car, eats my food, enjoys the comfort of my home and does not give a damn about me.

I had never felt more ugly. I got up again, turned on the lights and sat gazing in the mirror. I saw an ugly, unattractive me with a big baby bump. My tears flowed and I wiped them off with the back of my palm. When I managed to control myself and stop myself from crying I spoke up. 'Errol.' He did not respond yet I could see his phone light. 'Errol, I screamed. Why don't you just sit up and text. Do you have to hide beneath the sheets to do it? Don't you own the phone, why are you hiding beneath the sheets. Is it because of me, I won't mind. Afterall you have done this for months and I have never complained.'  Just then, he pulled off the sheets and sat up. 'What did you say?'  'I said feel free to use your phone and stop hiding beneath the sheets. Afterall you only come here to sleep, you don't stay here.'
'Listen to yourself' was all he could say. That night, I asked him why he stopped having sex with me. He told me sex was bad for him as a man working out. He needed more muscles and could not afford to loose them. I could not believe my ears.

First time I was hearing such a silly excuse. I made sure I told him how badly he had been treating me. He just looked on. Didn't say a word and went to sleep.  Again I was stunned by his whole attitude.  This man used to wake me up at night to convince me to marry him. I have not fully made him my husband, yet here he was, showing me his other side.
Little Sister , never let a man's actions make you feel less of a woman.  Never think you are ugly or unattractive because of how he treats you. Never belittle yourself because he chose to make you feel that way. If you find him cheating, just take it that it is for validation. Once you are doing it right, whoever you think is the reason behind it, it does not make you less of a woman. You are beautiful. It doesn't matter, be confident.  There's nothing more attractive than a confident woman. Keep doing it right.

Days on, each time I brought up the subject he would start an argument with me. On another visit to the doctor, he called Errol once again, to remind him of his duties as the man. Errol again agreed but never touched me. Little Sister, forget about forehead kisses, forget foot rubs, though I needed them most this time as my feet and back hurt, I did not get any of it.

The sweet Errol who would cook, clean and pamper me was gone. I had another Errol to deal with and get used to. Each time I tried to let us talk about issues, he would remind me that he is the man and I am the woman.
Don't forget to be a friend to your man. Sincerely Errol and I never really took time to be real friends. Yes being friends is a great start and a good start but don't suffocate yourselves.  I am talking about being friends not having sex. After the sex, one day, you will need the friends that you are to survive. 

One night I fell ill and was so weak. Errol got back as usual after 10 pm. He did not bother.  'That's part of being pregnant, get used to it.' He said to me. I lay ill for three days till my sister came to visit and took me to the hospital.Errol got back to find me in bed as usual and saw  my medication from the hospital.  'Did you go to the hospital? ' he asked me. 'Yes I did.' 'Didn't I ask you not to go to the hospital and that its part of being pregnant? ' I ignored him. This dude did not value me. He expected me to stay home and die am sure. I just kept taking my medication to get well for myself and my unborn baby.

By this time, I was beginning to lose all respect for Errol. He did not contribute a dime to the upkeep of the house. He just came and went. He even downplayed every single item I purchased for our unborn baby. He never bought a pin for the baby. Though I was hurting, I needed to be strong for my baby. I would do this damn the challenges.  I already started and it's almost over.

One night I needed to get some medication from the pharmacy as I had mistakenly stepped on one. I was about to find my way when he returned home as usual after 10. He offered to drive me to the pharmacy.  I waited for him in the car whilst he went to get the medication.
All of a sudden, I heard a loud noise from behind. Another car that had been trying to drive out of the parking lot had bumped into mine. I stepped out shaken because of my condition and the loudness of the noise. When my man stepped out of the pharmacy and saw a crowd had gathered, he walked to us and demanded to know what was happening. After telling him, he did not utter a word. He just asked me to shut up and get in the car right there infront of people.  I was lost for words. We began to argue whilst a few people tried to make him understand why I was standing outside instead of sitting in the car. I could have gotten hurt but he did not care. I eventually sat in the car because he mentioned the fact that I was trying to find trouble where there was none. Not even the daint on the car would stop this man from taking the side he had chosen.

Errol did not care and am sure he would not have cared less if something had happened to me. That night I began to wonder if I had 'a real man' for a man. My dear girl, a man who loves you will protect you at all times and not sell you out. Men are problem solvers, they feel a sense of satisfaction if they can protect their women. I did not have this in my man. Second time he had sold me out. Making me look bad infront of people even when others thought I was right. Don't be with a man who cannot guarantee your safety. A man has got to be a man. Again, every respect I had for this man began to melt away. Little Sister, a man who loves you, though has no money, will strive to buy you even the most cheapest of gifts. I had been with Errol and just realised he had never bought me a pin. Not even common airtime. All he did was take from me each time. A real man who is into you will buy you something because to him, you deserve more. Becareful when you are with him and its just you taking care of you. It isn't a good sign. He will probably buy gifts for some other woman, for now, you are not the right woman for him.

Real men are providers and protectors. I know you have a good career going on and are striving to achieve more. You do not need a man's money not less airtime from him but if you can think of buying him airtime when he is your man, there's  nothing wrong if he does same for you. Men display love by giving.  If you are not getting from him at all, you are in the wrong place. An effort to give you even when he doesn't have is the mark of a man who is into you.

I know you want to be a help mate and a good woman to him but please don't let him take advantage of it and don't misconstrue his 'I do not have' to be humility, love etc. No. He doesn't have but is probably affording flowers for someone else. Be vigilant my girl. Love dwells on giving amongst others. It is good to take care of your man. God bless all the sisters who are being supportive of their men. You are doing it right but to my single sisters be vigilant.

Open your eyes. Be sure that a man is into you not for your money before you rush things. Some are just looking for shelter, cars to drive, fat bank accounts and just looking to change their status.

After that incident, his constant treating me like a rag, his not caring attitude, I decided to kick him out of my house but not until I had confided in my friends. Their initial reaction,  stunned. They would not believe me.

Little Sister,  again, take your time. Do not rush it. Marriage is a long road. Take your time to know this man properly. Infact look out and be sure you are reading the signs properly. In the meantime, whilst you wait, I urge you to keep being the best version of you. Do not fake it like my Errol for any reason. Keep working on you. People are of the view that you do not need to prepare for marriage.  I personally think you do. If you prepare years to get called to the bar, to become a medical doctor or an expert in your chosen field, then I don't see how you cannot prepare to be a wife.  So keep reading, keep watching the movies, keep listening and do not take lightly the genuine stories of those who have been there, failed or succeeded.

Whilst you are still single, enjoy yourself. I know the lonely days will come but you will pull through it. I know there would be nights when you would cry but it is better to cry about a man you have not yet found than to cry over a man you find who does not meet your expectations in the end.
I will definitely conclude my story but I sincerely hope you are learning from my experience with Errol.
Stay strong single little sister, be bold, be confident, keep celebrating you.

Kind regards,
Lem
(Your big sister)

Friday Night, Peninnahs will be flaunting their bfs....Hannah will be observing...lol. This is for my dedicated team CRF. You guys are amazing. God bless you! !

The Peninnah Of Our Time

Have you ever seen or met a Peninnah in your life? Well, we all meet them at one time or the other.

Let me attempt a background description of Peninnah. Peninnah in the book of Samuel in the bible, was the rival of Hannah whom God blessed with children at the time when Hannah was still childless. Peninnah was Hannah's competitor, rival, challenger or call it whatever you want. (1st Samuel 1:2) Peninnah made Hannah realize she lacked something vital. She brought her to that awareness that she was lacking behind in the race and propelled Hannah to pray for her own blessing;  a child.

I have come to realize that, Peninnah's are not necessarily bad depending on how you choose to look at it. We all need them at some point.  I mean Peninnah is that person who forces you to do something that will change the world.  She forces you to identify your deficiency.  All she does is make you see yourself as inferior and lacking behind. Call her a bitch but she makes sure you know your place and act accordingly. She drives the nicest car and has the most handsome man on earth as a husband.  She is smart. She lacks nothing,  she is always on time in every aspect of her life.

Have you met your Peninnah yet?
The girl who, when she sees you talk to her husband will do nothing but give you a deadly stare. The one who will embarass you infront of people just because her husband mentioned your name in her presence.  The one who stops speaking to you just for the fact that her husband says a simple hi to you. The one who steals your man with a game ticket or the one who steals your husband with her big ass and forces you to get an ass job. She is the girl who has your dream man and forces you to do a proper assessment of yourself.

Peninnah can come in the form of a male too. The dude who makes you see what you don't have,  possesses it but won't let you have it without getting into your pants. Yes the one who makes you feel like, he has the world and you have to let him have his way with you just for a piece of it. He is the guy who owns your dream car and forces you to work harder to acquire one too.  He is that boss who constantly abuses or harasses you because afterall, you do not have what it takes to be your own boss and compels you to start your own company.

A Peninnah is pure competition.  She is there to challenge you. To make you feel shitty and quit being in your comfort zone. She brings you to that point where your patience is wearing thin. She calls you names and insults you for being deficient in a particular area. She is daring and heartless because she will do anything to make herself happy at your expense.  She knows she has what you lack and throws it in your face,  not caring if it drives you nuts or not.

How are you handling your Peninnah?

Peninnah, beware!
Hannah conceived after you challenged her. She too will become someone's mother. She would also become someone's wife.
She too will own that business some day and she too will be a world changer one day. Don't you over do it

A Peninah can be put to shame eventually because if he or she gets that thing, after the scoffing and mockery from you,  you will be embarrassed to see her blessed.

Are you letting her outshine you and letting yourself concede defeat? Or are you giving her a fair competition?  Whatever it is, learn to brace your Peninnah and let her role in your life yield positives no matter what. That is why she is a  Peninnah .

Inspired by a message by Rev Yalley. 

Someone brought me a..... three days ago..thanks a million.

Patience Yields Results

So yesterday, one of the women most young women look up to, in my country finally walked down the aisle. Popular, a star, an achiever, surrogate mother to many and host of a show did not rush or enter into marriage in her twenties or early thirties as most women. Talk of the town, she made the headlines with what I would describe as a dream come true for most women.

Yes, most women have dreams of getting married.  Her story and long wait taught me a few lessons. Waiting for your seson of demand does require preparation.  Every man who desires to achieve a particular thing must learn to wait whilst preparation is on going. Your season must come to meet you fully prepped up for the journey ahead. Waiting is an inevitable part of mankind's journey. If you can't wait, you will end up settling for something less. You will end up with your alternative instead of your desired choice.

Is  there something you have been waiting for? Have you been patient or have you just opted for the other alternative ? Are you grooming yourself for that position that you are aiming at? Are you trying to make a small dot wherever you are though you have not gotten to your dream land yet? Or are you just accepting anything that comes your way because you feel time is running out?  Treasures are not discovered easily. Stars must beat others to rise up a star....In all of these, it takes a person who has patience  to wait for their morning.

I know your morning will definitely come.Do not settle for less,  be patient, it yields results!!

Had lots of people ask if I'm still writing.
Yes please I am.
I don't blog often because life just got busy;  writing everywhere. ..
Thank you for all the love and support.

The Withering Flower

A man's days are uncertain.
Today you are all strong, tomorrow you can barely make it out of bed or reply text messages or even answer calls.
That's where people regard it as arrogance or just ignoring them but behind every man's actions, there's a reason.

Early on today, I was trying to explain to a friend why I had not been replying his messages or picking his calls. I mean I try to reply but the issue is that's like a task to me. You will not understand but I do and you cannot comprehend it unless you  find yourself in a particular situation.

I just realized that we are like flowers,
we can wither at a point. Sometimes,  withering is inevitable.
So I agree with the scripture that says; 'teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.'
Do what you can and have to do whilst you still have the time and energy. Those are the little blessings of life that we often take for granted.

Is your situation like that of the withering flower?
Are you burdened with a certain load of care?
Today, I'm thinking that beneath that situation are little blessings that you can still count.
Talking freely, walking, sitting, writing etc. are some of life's blessings.
Don't wait till you cannot enjoy these blessings to realize what they are.
Start counting them now because there's someone wishing they had just that.

Just Asleep In The Lord

       'Today, I'm free
       Today, I'm healed
       Today, I'm delivered
       Today, I'm flying with angels.'

I want  you to be strong,
Keep in mind that you have been called to run a particular race. I have finished mine. Don't forget that the owner of the field of life will demand an account once the race is over.
        Wipe your tears
        Be strong
        I just fell asleep in the Lord
        I'm resting well.

Busy weekend
Sad weekend
Depressing weekend but this is my assurance in christ.
You lived well
You departed this world beautifully
breathing in the Holy spirit
Your farewell ceremony was perfect
You are sleeping in a beautiful place
and just asleep in the Lord.
Rest well Mummys.

In memory of a Mum who fell asleep in the Lord five years ago on this day.
In memory of an Aunty who fell asleep in the Lord and  was laid to rest yesterday.
We love you.
Sleep well.

Even If It Takes Time....

So a few months ago, I decided to  cut my hair. First beginning with a perm cut and gradually, getting a lower cut (Like Men usually do). I remember how people held diverse views.  My Alice was the first to mention that I did not look pretty. Getting a lower cut had not been a part of the plan but situations compelled me to get it. If you are close to me, you probably know why. 

Over the months, I have watched my hair grow back slowly. I must admit that,  it is one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. At a point in time,  I regretted it. Gradually,  I have come to accept what cannot be changed.  I probably looked different but in the end its grown out of the short hair category.  I'm looking back and thinking getting a hair cut has taught me something. 

Sometimes in life, we decide to do something extraordinary and different from what we are known for. We make certain decisions, venture into new fields , do away with certain people, relocate to a new place, leave a particular job amongst others just to begin a new chapter.  Often, whilst on that new chapter, we look back on the past which looks  more appealing most of the time. It usually doesn't have the beauty of the one we leave behind. There comes a time when you are even tempted to go back.

This occurs in various areas of our lives; relationships, education,  employment etc. Today, I want to let you know that, the beginning of anything new is quite a task. Starting a new business isn't easy. Deciding to leave your relationship or relocate to a new place isn't easy. Yet, that is what you have to do to get where you are going. Damn the moments of regret and difficulty, you will pull through.  Just be patient. That is a virtue you cannot do without.

I have no idea what it you have set out to do but all I know is You can do this. No condition is permanent.  Keep going. Whatever it is you have set out to do, you can do it even if it takes time. You can't give up now, keep moving!

Friday Night....

Some hearts are bleeding and hurting tonight.
Some people cannot see a single star from where they stand but one thing is obvious, it is just a phase. Even if it takes time....With time, you will heal.
God comfort those who are mourning tonight and the entire weekend.
God comfort you like he did to Naomi when she lost her sons....Amen.!!

A Feeling Or Another Pose For The Cameras?

Lately the trend has been that people take photos with their significant other either helping them put on their shoes or depicting a particular act of love or care. How do you not kiss your wife every day but choose to kiss her just to take photos? It really doesn't make sense.

When people are attracted to each other or in love, it is natural to want to make your partner feel comfortable and do stuff for them so it doesn't matter where you are. Whether in public or in private, you can't help playing with your wife's hair or kissing her forehead. 

In our part of the world, you see a woman struggling to carry shopping bags whilst her man walks comfortably beside her. (So annoying).  A woman carries a baby at her back and still holds two bags yet her husband walks beside her gorgeously. (Most annoying part is they are both chatting. ..wow!)

Elsewhere, In the Western world,  the act of treating women like a lady comes with being a man. Things  such as  holding out the door is just another duty or responsibility as well as
pulling chairs for a woman to get seated, helping a woman hang her jacket amongst others. You can't imagine pulling out your own  chair to sit down whilst on a date with a guy (If you are not my man, good for you! )

In our part of the world,  you hardly see men kiss women in public. Not even a peck, random forehead, hand kisses or holding each other.( Eeeerrrrmmm well I get it...culture it is!!) Holding out the door, pulling the chair amongst others is considered such a task by some dudes in this part of the world.  (Some  do  though. Bless the dudes  who do.)

Now what's this taking photos doing the Pda just for the camera's? (Mostly newly weds).  Why would you want to do that? My man has got to help me wear my shoes every day or help carry the shopping bags all the time whilst I walk gorgeously like a queen beside him every time I go shopping and he's available. He must not do it just for show.
Caring and loving someone is something that needs to come naturally from within unless you are acting. You don't just pose for the cameras because that's what is currently trending. No! Feel it...act it!

My sister told me the story of an elderly woman who was entering a pharmacy after a young guy of about eighteen entered. She was mad at the young man for not opening and holding out the door for her. She told the young man that, his duties as a man included- holding out the door for a woman irrespective of their age.
I think Mothers should teach their boys from home because  those are everyday things and not necessarily a preserve for people who like each other. A lady's got to be treated like one any day. (Bless all mothers who have done such a good job with their boys... I doff my scarf to you!) I also think that more men in our part of the world should  carry out such acts and do the pda often not just for taking pictures.  Pda should be a way of life else don't do it at all. (How do you just show off in pictures? )  Well just my personal opinion.

If treating women like ladies is a part of you...then this piece is for you.  You know yourself!!

The Sun Will Shine Again

When the darkness lingers
and it seems to have lingered on longer
than you expect...
when there's a promise of sunshine
yet you never seem to see a ray of it..
When the pain becomes too much
your aches and hurt cannot be soothed or healed..
When the sun takes forever to rise
In that situation. ..
There lies a road
a road to freedom
a road to happiness
a road to a place of rest
a road to peace....
A caged bird will definitely break free one day...
In the hands of the enemies of man,
a man's strength is realized..
A quest that changes you..
Not now can you let your crown fall
What will happen?
The sun will shine again!!

This piece is for my siblings

         and

My sister from another Mum.
I still remember how you walked to me when I was sitting with Alice. You said you would be my friend.  I did not know that it was a promise of friendship that would last beyond ten years.
We bicker,
we cry
we laugh
we even stop talking for hours.
Of course you live in Panama.
You know one thing I desire for you right?
A good man to make you his wife.
Happy birthday my lala.

Sometimes......

Sometimes it takes an irreversible mistake to awaken you from your slumber.
Sometimes it takes a bad experience to appreciate good times
Sometimes it takes a little stupidity to realise you could have done better.

Sometimes you have to encounter ugly people to appreciate what you have
Sometimes you walk a mile before regretting that pebble you did not pick up at the start of your walk
Sometimes you've got to have regrets to learn......
It just happens sometimes.

Errrrrmmm someone tell me why people still go to movenpick lounge on Friday nights.  Makes no sense if all tables have been reserved but are empty yet people have to stand around. Well,  just thinking aloud.

Friday Night....
Drink some wine, spend time with your favourite people....
Enjoy your weekend!

Christian Brothers And Sisters!!

Everything that has a beginning does come to an end. It really doesn't matter what it is.  Day after day, christians strive to win souls for the Kingdom. Yes, one of the duties and responsibilities of a child of God is to propagate the gospel. We live life in awe of our creator and the fact that we won't live here on earth forever.

This is not my style but today, I want to touch on a very sensitive subject. I  have just noticed one thing about  certain christian brothers and sisters.  We all claim to be serving the same God but of course we do belong to different denominations and churches. Lately,  one is seen as an enemy once we do not belong to the same church or denomination.  Is this right in the sight of God? To the extent that men of God are fighting each other  and hating each other? The members are helping in the fight too. Of course if  your father detests a particular man of God it means you have to detest him too.

May I ask, aren't we all supposed to be serving the same God? Why the discrimination and division  at this time?

Some Christian brothers and sisters are doing a better job of scattering rather than gathering.  Some people will simply not go to church because of the so called attitude and behaviour of people who claim to be active in church. Too much gossip, too much backbiting,  too much discrimination, hypocrisy amongst others.  A Christian brother's attitude at home is different from his attitude at church. At church he's a saint. At home he's known as a really mean person. The same brother goes trying to win someone to church and he expects to achieve results? Really?

Some Christian brothers actually think they are better than others. Perhaps because they sing at church and the other just goes to listen to the word. Once they are church workers, they are better than the other who isn't. They act it, speak it and cease every single opportunity to make it known that they are better church brothers and sisters.  Please let me ask you, are you allowed to judge? Using the Bible as the standard for your life?

How can so called brothers and sisters ride in their cars to church or close from church and ride in their cars alone when others need a ride? Is that what the Bible intructs us to do? There are people in the church who need help yet there are people in the church who can offer them help but will never do it. What are we learning then?

These days, there's even discrimination inside the church.  A particular member is more dear to the church than another is. One brother is more important to the man of God than the other. Responses to members are based  on the level of the importance one attaches to the other. This is happening even in some churches?  Thought church was supposed to be a haven. Why should this be happening in the church?

My dear Christian brothers and sisters,  church is supposed to be a haven. Church is supposed to make people feel better.  Church is a place for repairing people.  Church is the place where people with no self worth go to acquire a sense of worth. Church is a place where the rejected can be accepted.  Can we stop with the hypocrisy or close down if we can't because then our purpose as Christians is being defeated. Win a soul and keep them,  don't win a soul only to drive them away. If you are a leader, be a father for all and do not discriminate. We are heirs of the Kingdom,  our role is to love one another. Let us make the impact of being Christian brothers and sisters be felt in a positive way. God bless all the Christian brothers and sisters who are doing it right. 

When They Go The Extra Mile.......

We live in times when we all need each other to carry us through to our destination. There's no one man in this world who would say they do not need anyone. We all need somebody. 

Most of the time, it counts to know someone because they facilitate things for us and make our lives easier.  A man cannot get married alone: he needs the presence of family and friends.  A man cannot hold a funeral alone: the presence of loved ones makes it easier to pull through the grieving period.  I doubt if there's any one man who has held a funeral alone. Even one man cannot carry the casket hence the need for pallbearers.

In business we need someone. In educational pursuits, someone can make a difference. In ill health,  you need someone.  Everyone  needs a helper at some point.  When we find help or that helper what do we do?

People are forced to always be at their best when they feel appreciated. Help should be followed by gratitude. Appreciation for the help received by the recipient.  Saying thank you is one of the simplest things in life but I just realized that showing appreciation and saying thank you is an art you need to acquire.

I have wondered countless times how people live their lives without mumbling a 'thank you.' I just discovered that mostly,  it is just missing in the vocabulary of people. You cannot force them to say it and nothing will cause them to say it. Even the Bible says to give thanks in all things. I think it is  crass behaviour not to say thank you.  When a girl agrees to go on a date with you and the date is over, a thank you won't spoil anything. When the waiter finally brings your order, a thank you won't change the fact  you are in charge of paying your own bills. When a guy holds out the door for you, it's just polite to say thank you.

I remember the story of a friend who after so much persuasion from a group of guys in her church, decided to play hostess to them by inviting them over for lunch. A few days on, she looked forward to hearing that phrase from them. Afterall,  she had put in so much  effort, time and energy to  cook the meal. When she was not getting it, she decided to report the guys to their father.  I laughed when I heard the story though I thought it was rather too extreme.

I think parents should inculcate into their children the habit of saying thank you at an early age. People should learn to use that phrase often irrespective of their status in society. It doesn't cost much to say it. You lose nothing if you say it. It is a polite thing to say and should be said in all situations even when you are the employer and they are the employee. Saying it often shows who you are. When you finally get that favour from someone, don't forget to say thank you.

In a world where people are busy yet they go the extra mile to do something for you, it is just polite to say thank you. It makes people want to do more for you. Next time someone goes out of their way to do something for you,  even if it's the most minute thing in the world, stop with the crass behaviour, learn and always remember to say thank you.  It really costs nothing to say.

So after blogging early on tonight,  obviously on the same topic,  in my attempt to achieve perfection, 'editing' I lost my write up  which had already been posted due to issues with my internet provider. Who else but 'mtn'
I had already shared the link and a few people had obviously read it before I lost it.
Obviously one of the challenges I face is that once I write, and I have to reproduce the same piece I completely forget what I wrote the first time.
So this is the best I could come up with though I almost dispaired. I hope it still gets my message across.

Again, its Friday night....
Have a drink with your favourite person,  talk gibberish and kiss like there's no tomorrow.
Enjoy your weekend! !

When They Go The Extra Mile.....

We live in times when we all need each other to carry us through to our destination. There's no one man in this world who would say they do not need anyone. We all need somebody. 

Most of the time, it counts to know someone because they facilitate things for us and make our lives easier.  A man cannot get married alone: he needs the presence of family and friends.  A man cannot hold a funeral alone: the presence of loved ones makes it easier to pull through the grieving period.  I doubt if there's any one man who has held a funeral alone. Even one man cannot carry the casket hence they need for pall bearers.

In business, we need someone. In educational pursuits, someone can make a difference. In ill health,  you need someone.  Everyone  needs a helper at some point.  When we find help or that helper what do we do?

People are forced to always be at their best when they feel appreciated. Help should be followed by gratitude. Gratitude for the help received by the recipient.  Saying thank you is one of the simplest things in life but I just realized that showing appreciation and saying thank you is an art you need to acquire.

I have wondered countless times how people live their lives without mumbling a 'thank you.' I just discovered that mostly,  it is just missing in the vocabulary of people. You can't force them to say it and nothing will cause them to say it. Even the Bible says to give thanks in all things. I think it is  crass behaviour not to say thank you.  When a girl agrees to go on a date with you and the date is over, a thank you won't spoil anything. When a guy holds out the door for you, its just nice to say a thank you.  When the waiter serves your order a thank you won't change the fact that you are paying your own bill.

It doesn't matter what you are getting out of someone,  thank you is just appropriate for all situations.  Don't pester someone so much for a favour only to get it and not show appreciation.  It doesn't matter your status in life, it is crass behaviour not to say that phrase. I remember the story of a friend who played hostess to a group of young men from church after several persuasions from them. She finally invited them to lunch. Days on, she waited for them to just say a simple thank you. Afterall she had put so much time, effort and energy into cooking the meal. She went the extra mile to cook them lunch and went the extra mile to report them to their Dad for not saying thank you. I found that a bit extreme though.

People should learn to say thank you.  It doesn't cost much. People should learn to use that phrase often, it takes nothing away from you. Parents should inculcate in their children the art of saying thank you.  It is just polite to say it. It makes a person want to do stuff for you always.  It tells people who you are.

The next time someone goes the extra mile for you, don't forget we live in a busy world where people  only make time to go the extra mile for you. Stop with the crass behaviour, remember to say thank you.  You lose nothing when you say it.

Buhari declares his assets, hehehehehe.

Busy week, finally its
Friday night...

Have a drink with your favourite person,  talk gibberish, forget the worries of the past days and kiss like there's no tomorrow.  Enjoy your weekend! !

Your Time Will Come Too!!

'While the world looks upon me
as I struggle along..
they say I've got nothing but they are so wrong..
in my heart I'm rejoicing
Oh how I wish they could see..
thank you Lord for your blessings on me.

There's a roof up above me
I've a good place to sleep
there's food on my table
and shoes on my feet
you gave me your love Lord and a fine family. ..
thank you Lord for your blessings on me'

Thank you Lord by the Easter brothers is my opening song.

There are moments in our lives when there's this one particular thing that we desire and that one thing if it happens,  can change our entire lives. Call it a glitter of hope; a dream you have held so dear. Something that means the world to you, that thing that just comes to give you a perfect ending to this script you are writing. It does not necessarily mark the end but it symbolises a step towards the end.

For some, it is the gift of a child, for others, it is an academic dream, for some, a significant other and mostly everyone has that one thing they crave for which is seen as a necessity in their lives. I mean without it, life isn't exactly meaningless but mostly, they are considered incomplete by the observers on this field of life. Sometimes in life we wait forever for those little but big things.

The other night, at the feast of miracles,  someone I look up to told his story. It had been a long wait for his family.  Twelve years and the wait had not been smooth or easy. It had been a journey of hard work, prayer, waiting and tolerance.Enduring of insults and name calling, I'm sure there were lonely days and nights as well. I'm even sure there were sad and depressing times. I cannot envisage the tears they had to cry yet on the outside, it probably never showed because though we all have battles we are fighting, most of us do a good job of looking perky.

In the end, the long wait was worthwhile.  God came through for them. Mind you, he had been praying for others who always received that one thing that he had constantly been praying for. Yes to the scoffers he probably seemed ridiculous.  How do you help someone to acquire something you do not have? Yet it is in helping others, that the world would actually see what it is, that you are made up of.

Is there something you have been waiting for all your life for? Would that thing change your life? Would it  be the sun you have been waiting for to shine on you again? Could it be that rainfall  that brings refreshment to you? Whatever it is, no matter how long it has taken, just know that, your time will come too. Keep going!
Keep praying, keep working at it, keep helping those God has placed in your lives. Just keep doing it right, there's nothing impossible under the sun. Your time will come too!!

You inspire me.
Celebrating with my Daddy in the Lord as he celebrates the goodness of the Lord today.
Congratulations Rev and Mrs. Yalley.

Scars and Stars: Letter From Lem De Asi

Dear Little Sister,
As your big sister in this school of life, I deem it necessary to send you this piece to enlighten you on how my journey has been thus far.

I met your brother inlaw barely a year ago at the gym where I had just enrolled for three days. He worked as a gym instructor in addition to his regular job. I must admit he swept me off his feet with his muscle toned body. Days on, I looked forward to my time at the gym as if my life depended on it. It was always a delight to see him at each session.

A week on, he asked me out to dinner and I accepted to go. My dear, I had not been asked out by a man to dinner in years to even have me pay for it. I had gotten used to going to dinner alone. I went to the movies alone, attended shows alone and went shopping alone. I had become comfortable with being alone; just me. My life became a routine, you could predict me. I went to work, then to the gym and back home. If I had to go out I went alone or with girlfriends.  So  all week, I looked forward to our dinner date and went shopping for new clothes for our date. When saturday finally came, I met him at the Golden Fork restaurant. We spent hours just dining and talking. By the time our dinner date was over, I went home thinking about him and replaying episodes of our time together.

He began calling me regularly. We were always in touch all day and would chat about everything via text or regular phone call. After the gym, we ended up going home together. It was mostly to my place to watch movies or to eat and talk. I loved how he paid particular attention to my whole being.  He treated me like a delicate doll that needed proper taking care of. Gradually, we began to do all that two new people in love do. My dear girl, love is sweetest at its initial stages. Kissing him felt like it was my first kiss ever on planet earth. We would kiss, cuddle and I ended up getting a foot rub almost every night.

One night, after the gym, I fell ill and your brother inlaw wouldn't leave my side. The following day, he called in ill at work and stayed all day with me to make sure I got better. He cooked the meals, cleaned the house and every five minutes or so, he  would ask;'baby are you okay?' I made him taste my sweet cherry that night and ohhh, it had never tasted better. That night, he said to me;'baby would you marry me?'  'Oh no, Errol, not so soon'. I replied. He drew closer to me and kissed me passionately and then held my left hand looking into my eyes and insisted.'Baby, marry me please, I promise that making you happy will be my number one job.' That night, I was stunned beyond description and couldn't talk much. Deep down, I was happy.  For once, a guy wanted to marry me so badly even at my age.

Lem, I was thirty five and had dated lots of men. The rich, the handsome, the famous and the best of men but none was ever willing to settle down with me. Our relationship never lasted beyond a month, though they were good to me financially. When I met Errol, I was just beginning  to close the chapter on  dating. I had come to learn that dating was not for me. If only I could have a baby and raise my child, I would be just content.

Yet, a month after meeting Errol, though I had declined several times, after proving to me how serious he was about wanting to try this with me and after persistently asking me to give it a try, I agreed.  I would lead him to my family to let him introduce himself as the man in my life and to declare his intentions towards me as is done in the Ghanaian traditional society. Errol insisted on going ahead with the traditional marriage but I thought it was too soon as I was still getting to know him. So we went on with the introduction and knocking. I had several thoughts running through my mind; was he for real, Or was he in this for what he could gain, did he genuinely love me? Well, I would not know until I have tried. I would give this a try and see how it goes was my final conclusion.

At this time, I was speaking with my two girlfriends who had varied opinions. One thought I should go ahead, One thought I should slow down but  go ahead with the 'knocking rites' and break it off when I realise it isn't working. Errol and I decided to go ahead anyway.

We decided to move into my place, meaning Errol had to change houses. We made that decision because though I liked Errol, I couldn't bring myself to live at his place.  I didn't  find it decent enough.  Living together was fun initially. Again, my dear little sister, love is sweetest when you are just beginning.  Constant visits to the movies, eating out, visiting every place in the city whilst walking hand in hand. Not forgetting the random forehead and hand kisses. I was sure to get a foot rub at the end of it all after wearing stilettos all night. Errol had a perfect body. Muscle toned and tall. He was huge and dark and I loved his body.
Every night, that body made me really happy and during the day; he was my angel helping me go through the day smiling all through.

In the second month after we started living together, I  missed my period. Didn't know how to feel. At least I wanted a baby but   wasn't sure  Errol and I were on the same page yet. Errol was thirty one, he had been proving to me how right I've been. Deciding to walk this mile with him, by being a good man to me. I had a good job and did not mind taking care of the house but at least a man ought to take care of his woman financially too and so I asked Errol to live up to his responsibilities.  'Errol I missed my period'. 'Baby, what does that mean? Are you pregnant?' He asked with so much concern on his face. At least that is what I saw. 'Yes' 'Wow' Errol yelled. He  jumped up onto his feet and gathered me into his arms. He kissed me on the lips and put me down finally still holding me tight. 'Thank you baby, you have made me really happy.' 'Really?' Was all I could say at the time.

Everything was okay until after  the first trimester of my pregnancy.  My Errol changed completely. He came home not earlier than 10pm and always kept to himself. We barely talked at all and he also made sure he never got close to me. My side of the bed was a restricted area and he never dared to cross it. If I dared to cross it, he would say;'Esi, I'want to sleep please.' He always said the same thing. My pregnancy was becoming unbearable. I thought having Errol by my side would make it easier for me but, Errol stopped being there for me. He stopped touching me yet I could not tell this to anyone not even my girlfriends who thought all was well with me.

My Errol too was such a good actor. Each time his friends  or my friends came to visit, he was at his best. One thought we had the best relationship.  He would still call me baby, sit beside me and try starting a conversation with me. Whilst when we were alone, he would never look at me. Gradually I got used to his acting skills. I cried, I was depressed and regretted rushing things. The baby I was expecting was the only thing that kept me going. Once I visited the gynaecologist, he asked if I was still having sex. He advised me to keep having sex once it was not uncomfortable for me and to help open up the place.  I confided in him and told him Errol had not touched me since my first trimester. He even offered to speak with him for me so I phoned Errol so the doctor would speak with him. Errol agreed after he did but when I got home that night, he would still not touch me.

Little Sister, your big sister loves to have sex. Here I was, being deprived though I had every means to get it. If I was not pregnant, I would get it elsewhere.  I'm sure. Errol never looked at me, he felt distant by the day and gradually, every dream I had ever held when I was single for my pregnant days shattered into pieces. If you cannot build the dreams you see, you are sure to never live it. He never for once touched my baby bump to even feel or hear the baby. I was beginning to lose my self esteem.  Just the way a woman loses it when she finds out her man is cheating and she had been doing everything right. Just that this time, I could not get affirmation elsewhere. 

My dear little sister,  being single is not a curse. It is a good time to prepare yourself to live with a man. A man can make and tear you down if you end up with the wrong one and do not take your time.  The wrong  man can make you  lose your self esteem and you will take years to rebuild what you once had. It doesn't matter who you are, once you let the wrong one in and are unable to find yourself early, you will go down before you know it. A man cheating on you or dumping you for a less classy, not pretty, perhaps younger or older woman, a single mother, a character worst than you are and causing you pain as well as causing you to lose your self esteem is nothing close to ending up with the wrong one and waking up to deal with it daily. Whilst you are still single, cherish and love you by taking your time with men. The least you can do for your unborn children.

Sex is sweet, good and a vital part of that union called marriage.  It is a much improved version of the one you have when you are still single; at least psychologically.  I want you to cherish it and only let a man earn it if you are not married.  No man wants a woman who has been with every man. Be choosy when it comes to giving it out, whilst still single. Let the man who earns it live forever remembering that sweet cherry. He can cheat but one day, he will cherish the good girl and cherry he has. Marriage will seek to explore other issues including sex, take your time and choose wisely. Do not get blinded.

Little Sister, the fact that your biological clock is ticking does not mean you should rush. Preparation is more important than age because if you are well prepared,  you will always find a man even if you go past your flower days. You must take your time. Know the man you are dealing with.  When two people begin dating, everyone strives to be at their best. Yes, you want to endorse yourself and prove to that man that he made a good choice.  That man wants to let you know he is good enough for you. Very few people are at their best with the real them. Be vigilant, take your time. People marry for various reasons.  Some for sex, some for money, some for fame and prestige, some for a certain benefit,  amongst others. The more you take your time to find out, the more you will discover why you are going  into it.

My dear little sister, I hope that my story has taught you a lesson or two. Do not weep for me yet. I will tell you all of it soon. For now, I want you to know that being single is no curse. Enjoy it. Let go of the hurts, the pain, the disappointments. At least that's my prayer for you because I know what that can do to you. I urge you to be happy, pray for the spirit of discernment.  Ask for wisdom and don't forget to ask yourself; 'would you marry you, if you met yourself?'

Kind regards,
Lem
(Your big sister)

Long time no blogging :)
Life gets super busy and oh my new baby; 'Raindrop' has my attention so your girl has been quite slow on here.
I still love and appreciate everyone who's been reading.  Thanks for the messages asking if blogging was over...lol. No please.  Writing is my weed, I'm addicted
xxxx

Friday night....
Drink some....
Snuggle up ....
Have gibberish conversations. .
Kiss your favourite person . ..
Enjoy your weekend!