Just saw some disturbing images of a mate on my UPS class page which distorted my sleep pattern and has kept me up rethinking some decisions I've made in the past.
As much as I've grown very patient with people I've become intolerant of certain behaviours and of people sometimes. I think these things come with growing up but really sometimes I've been hard on people and behaved inappropriately and unnecessarily.
I remember the first time I responded to some guy who thought he could bully me on my LLB class page. for the obvious reason. I had missed school a few weeks due to ill health and my class had contributed some money for me since they heard I was ill.
I returned to school and they handed over the envelope to me. Obviously they were planning to pay me a visit. I expressly told them I was grateful for the show of love but wanted them to keep the money for future purposes since I was back in school.
Some of my mates disagreed. They still wanted me to have the money since they were sure I had spent some money at the hospital and thought it was the least they could do as a class since they could not come to visit me.
I still turned down the money but woke up the following day to show my appreciation for the gesture on the class page. I also added my reason for not wanting to accept the donation laying emphasis on why we needed as a class to keep that money in our coffers for future purposes instead of giving it to me.
Well, I only knew him as the guy who drove the black Range Rover, but he obviously knew me more than I thought. He was the only one to respond negatively. He fanned the fire and started a fire on the page. According to him, I was such a disrespectful little girl. He said I was arrogant and had no respect for the elderly.
Interesting I thought! Didn't know when age became a criteria for expressing one's opinion on a class page. I set out to enquire what was arrogant about donating a contribution made for me by the class, back to the class. I disagreed with him and argued with him forever on the page. He would cease the opportunity to insult me and I wondered how someone I had never spoken to in my life would be filled with so much distaste for me.
I only stopped matching him when our other mates sent me private messages to ignore him and that's how I stopped replying as much as I wanted to, since he recruited some more guys to help him rant. My case would be heard in class the following week. I got some female support who thought his action was uncalled for and thought he was trying to merely bully me.
This was in first year and Mr Range Rover would forever remember me and refer to that incidence. I was no push around for anyone, male or female.
My friend, Sylvia and I have not been well behaved on our other school pages. It's hard when your allegiance is to a friend even when they mislead you and it's obvious (On this note, I'm ready to be slaughtered by her). I learned after these experiences to remain silent unless if necessary that I comment so I don't indulge in unnecessary banter.
I would deliberately boycott functions for one reason or the other (mostly very flimpsy).
But the real point of all of these alumni pages and groups is that we are there for each other through the bad and the good times. My UPS mates have been fantastic. From setting people up in business to visiting sick mates to funerals of deceased mates and setting up of funds for wards of deceased mates, recommendations etc.
You see, one of the reasons people would go to Yale isn't just for the world class tuition but also for networking purposes. Sometimes, law school or medical school cannot get you all of the things you need in life: it's God working through the people around you, like the friends you keep and the network you build.
We all need people. Well, you'll need them to attend your wedding, christening, etc. You need people to help push your dreams sometimes. You need people to even critique your actions on the field of life. You need someone to tune into your show or the news and listen and perhaps. ... And if we need people then we must as well be the 'people' .
Sometimes, some of the people are self-centred. They want to be cheered on and supported but they will give none of those. Then sometimes we coil up and promise never to be their cheerleader again only to realise we all need people.
People to even carry your casket and attend your funeral. Can you carry your own casket? When we need people then we should learn to treat people well and be tolerant of them and learn to live with them no matter the circumstances. People matter!
Photo Source: Rosie Thomas Quotes
