WHO IS IT?

You promised never to leave me so I gave you my all
Who is it?
My very existence depended on every breath you took
My soul is wounded because you stabbed me in the heart while looking straight into my eyes
Who turned your heart so cold?
Who is it?

What happened to the promise of growing old together?
My love, my forever, my beybey was how you referred to me but now I’m only but a memory
Who is it?
Who could make you forget the vow you made to be my forever
Who is it?

Did you find what you didn’t find in me in him?
Who is it?

Is he my friend?
Is he my brother?
Is he a stranger I never knew existed?
Who is it?

I’m drowning in my own tears and chocking on words to express the pain
My heart bleeds
Who stole my heart and ripped it apart?
Who is it?

You killed the only thing I believed in, LOVE
And stole years of my young life
I set you free with a heavy heart but before you walk out the door forever
Tell me one thing...
Who is it?

By: Wadada
Guest writer
Inspired by Puppishgirl

'I'M IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND' FEATURING GUEST WRITER WADADA

We’re colleagues at work
My first impression of her was, oh God! She looks snobbish.
I felt nothing for her.
She was just like any stranger you encounter and forget about as soon as you turn your back.
Little did I know the narrative will change
I’m in love with my friend.

As the clock ticked, a year passed, two passed and

 although I was witness to how other male colleagues salivated and lusted after her flesh whenever she walked by, I still felt indifferent as if my heart was built with a stone

But now, I’m in love with my friend.

I sometimes wondered what other men saw in her that I wasn’t seeing
Why are they all over her like a swarm of bees sucking on the nectar of a flower?
They must be really horny or a bunch of worldly homo-sapiens without any regard 

for God’s word - a principle I lived by.
Little did I know, I’m in love with my friend.

Friendship with her was an accident
Our first real encounter was at lunch break
We sat together on the same table facing each other, like what couples do on a real date
With no one at the eatery but the two of us, we spoke
I never noticed she had beautiful brown eyes until then
Her smile was the ultimate friend-maker, how could I resist it?
I found myself smiling when she giggled at my not so funny jokes – so I thought.

Though lunch lasted for just 30 minutes, it was the tastiest meal 

I had ever eaten in my life, sorry mum. 

Suddenly, boom! We’re friends.

Tick Tock Tick Tock!

 Now I see what the others see in her
I all of a sudden steal glances at her when she walks by
Oh God! I’m in love with my friend.

My heart skips a beat at her sight
How do I tell her I purposely make a fake phone call just to see her on the compound?
How do I tell her, I calculatedly go for lunch so I can steal more glances at her eating?
How do I tell her I purposely close from work just to watch her go home?
How do I tell her I can’t wait till morning to see her again?
How do I tell my friend I’m in love with her?

I know others are competing for her attention and the longer I wait, the lower my chances.
But how do I tell my friend, a mother of two, with a devoted husband, I’m in love with her?

By: Wadada
Inspired by: Puppishgirl’s THE DREAM PUSHERS, 'LEON'

Photo Source: Pinterest

So after I wrote 'The Dream Pushers, Leon' as part of the 'Scorned Woman Diaries', I got to read this and thought I would share. 

It's nice to know that while I write the 'Scorned Woman Diaries' the guys are getting interested

and sending their opinions as well as stories. If you haven't read it yet, it's time to read it!

WHAT I SHOULD BE.......

Yesterday, a guy in my office who I had resorted to stop showing my sweet side because he had been mistaking my niceness for something else by trying to touch me anytime he got the least opportunity, told me something after I gave him five minutes of my time while I waited for my laptop to be worked on.


He did not only cease the opportunity to apologise to me for his inappropriate behaviour towards me but also found it as  a perfect opportunity to school me on how I'm in the wrong career and how I'm wasting time by going to law school.


Initially, I found this line of conversation amusing until I let myself understand this guy properly.To him, I was wasting time waking up and going to work trying to earn a living and feel useful as a  beautiful woman and further wasting time by going to law school because according to him, he does not know what a woman of my calibere needs  a law degree for, if not for the mere funfair of parading myself about as a lawyer.


When I asked what he would prefer I'd rather be doing, his answer was a bit complex to understand till he finally did me a favour by breaking it down. Greg meant it when he said I was too beautiful to be stressing myself up by going to work and school. I did not deserve to go through the 'stress' when I could do the needful.

Greg's idea of the needful was taking beautiful photos and being on social media and you can imagine the rest.

I had to tell him I wake up daily to go 'gossip' and get paid because for me, it is not just for the money but mainly because I'm putting my skills to good use. If it was for the money, I'm sure I would be in some other field of career and not this particular one, but my ability to use my talent to translate into helping bring the news to the door step of the ordinary person, is what makes this thing fun and not exactly a job like he painted it.


I won't talk about being a lawyer because at this point, I was not willing to be explaining myself to anyone for my choices but rather, he made me realise how we as a people have come to embrace and celebrate people who wake up daily, take photos, post them on social media and slay all day, all month all year, not doing any particular business like being a stylist or the owner of a boutique or clothing line trying to showcase their design but rather, getting celebrated for flaunting their God-given assets.

Yes, we have come to celebrate the women who wake up to slay and make a living out of being slay queens at the neglect of women like me, who not because we lack those assets to flaunt but have chosen to go through life's mill in stages. Society chooses to ignore such people and would rather invest their time and resources in the women who can flaunt a bit of their assets and help them promote their causes, but not the causes of women like me who will go from office to office trying to convince people that some little girl in rural Ghana can barely read or speak English, thus we're craving their indulgence to help put sunshine into their lives.


Society would rather celebrate the woman who is slaying nude all day on social media and to make it worse, try to make it look like that's the way to go as a beautiful woman. Greg is not the only man who thinks every beautiful woman should be a 'sex tool'. There are several others like him who even think worse of beautiful women.

I remember my looks used to bother me by the time I was about 21 years. I had begun to understand the reality of a man's thoughts and the several shortfalls of being 'beautiful'. My sister and I would have this conversation and wonder why we weren't made just ordinary looking girls.Now I know God has a reason.

Today I have come to embrace who I am, the shortfalls, the misjudgments by society, the scorn of being an attractive woman among others which will certainly be a topic for another day.


Now I have come to understand that this thing called womanhood is no joke. Men expect you to live in a certain way, some men would rather you live according to the standards set by society but one thing is obvious, womanhood and being a beautiful woman is not about slaying nude to make a living.


Lately, I have had men specifically tell me, why they would want me, for what they think I'm trying to achieve, and obviously how they envisage me in God knows some years to come, and how useful I will be to their cause. You see, some men do appreciate the women who strive to achieve something using their brains rather than their bodies, both the genuine ones and the ones that think you will be a good financial cover going into the future.


So dear young woman, I don't know what it is you do and what your dreams are. I just came to tell you, let no man stop you from achieving those dreams. Let no 'slay queen nude agenda' cause you to neglect or abandon your dreams or pursuits. Also let not society's expectations of who you should be and what career paths you should tread cause you to think twice about genuinely working to make a living.

One day, the difference between the beautiful woman

some men would want you to be and the beautiful woman who isn't living according to those societal expectations will be determined.


Keep on!

 ..................Puppishgirl...........


Photo Source: Pinterest

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: THE DREAM PUSHERS, 'LEON'

When I met Leon, we both knew we could never be together. I became his confidant while he was fleeing from the pressures of other women. We began to hang out because he felt I was the better option, with me he was safe....

Unfortunately one session of pleasure became addictive and we continued  till he left the country.
I realised something about Leon and all the other men I've dated.
Leon was the typical go-getter who pushed people in his life; girlfriend or bedmate to chase their dreams and ensured he supported the dream whether physically, financially or in any other way.

I've met men after Leon, who have not been supportive of my dreams. Not physically or in any other way. Not even when they had the resources to push my dreams. I realised that some men have their own agenda for being in your life.

They don't care about you, neither do they care about your happiness or how you turn out when they leave your life. All they care about is what they can benefit from you while they are in your life. In short, they are not helpers or dream pushers.

 Why should they push your dreams? They will take you nowhere neither will they benefit from your dreams- so they think. Some even help destroy or ruin your little empire, till you're left with nothing. Call them the destroyers...

However, Leon's type of men are the men who feel no matter who they find themselves with, they must add value to them and leave an impression. They don't care if they end up with you or not, they know how to take care of a woman and not leave her scorned.

Nothing hurts more than a man who comes into the life of a woman and leaves her sky with no stars but rather scars in her heart. If you cannot be supportive of her dreams, perhaps because she does not deserve it in your opinion, just don't help to ruin her empire. 

The men who leave you and when you have to feel scorned, you  can count more stars than that brief moment of feeling scorned, that you have absolutely no reason to feel scorned.
In choosing, would you men like a 'Leon'? Love hurts, love heals....

........Puppishgirl

Photo Source: Pinterest

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: DON'T LOSE YOU!

I'm sorry but I can't feel your broken-heartedness
And it bothers me how broken you look
I feel like you don't only deserve better but you're acting stupid right now..
Not because I don't know how it feels or what it entails.

 Not because I've never had one,
I must have forgotten how that feels though I know it hurts pretty bad.

 
You see, I realise  that only the person who is 'into me' and who 'loves me' can break my heart.

 Love hurts and love heals...

You should learn that too.

Scorned women plan a revenge
Scorned women lose their sweetness
Scorned women forget to take care of themselves before anyone else
Scorned women wear a green shoe and a nude one together
Scorned women go down quickly,

don't lose your sweetness for anyone.
Scorned women are the 'real' mad people in society because

they may look sane but act mad....

That's why I can't understand you
and your attitude ....
That's why I can't feel your pain....
Decide which woman you want to be!
If scorned, I only hope you don't lose you in the process.

........Puppishgirl

Photo Source: Pinterest

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN:GODDESS TOO MUCH

I used to wonder why she hated me,
It used to bother me why she could rally behind other women to fight me.
It used to feel weird,
until I got used to how it bothered me and it put an end to the bother .
Obviously, not everyone will like me but the disdain from my fellow woman almost made me uncomfortable. 

I only realised I bothered her and her Grey Womens' Movement, because I'm too much.
Too much inner strength..
Too much inner beauty ...
Too much of a lady..
Too much of  a 'mind your business woman'..
Too much love...
Too much talent....
Too much light...
Too much, too much, too much!

When I became fully in awe of my being too much,
I stopped stressing.
I'm unique because I'm too much of a woman.
My own fellow woman cannot stand me.
She can only make me feel weird.
When the reality is me, being too much.
And fully in awe of being too much,

I walk like a goddess .

I've become 'goddess too much'.
Now the scorn and wrath from my fellow women cannot pull me down .
Rather, I ride on the wings of their shortfall.
I walk tall,
knowing I'm different because I'm too much. Too much me...
Goddess too much

..................Puppishgirl..........

Photo Source: Pinterest

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: SCORNED

Often, it is not the thought of your man being with another woman that hurts when you find out he's been cheating. It is that moment of asking what you did wrong or did not do and the time when you try to compare yourself to the other woman that hurts.

That's when if care isn't taken, you can lose your self esteem and worth as a woman. What does she look like? What does she do differently? Am I not woman enough? These and more can make you lose it.

Guys it isn't about you and which woman you choose to be with. It is about how we pick up the pieces. That's when she loses confidence if she doesn't handle it carefully.  No matter what, she does lose it for a split second.

Dear woman, I know it hurts. This too shall pass, it's just a phase if only you'll hold on and work on yourself.

The sun should shine again. If only you don't drown yourself in self pity and sorrow. Accept the reality of your situation. Clean your wounds and allow them to heal.

Learn to reintegrate into society.  Let the scars be proof of the strength you exude as a woman: you go down but not stay fallen forever.

Yes you can do this!

Photo Source: Pinterest

COURTEOUS PEOPLE SAY THANK YOU

There's this lesson I learned back in primary school at UPS that has stuck with me. 'Thank you, please, I'm sorry' the three basic things that must exist in the vocabulary of a courteous  person.

People pester others daily for something they want done. People go out of their way to do stuff for other people. At other times, out of love people decide to do favours for others and sometimes they are the big but minute or fiddling  things of life.

I still don't understand people who can't say 'thank you.' Not saying thank you is crass behaviour. The bible also entreats us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to always give thanks in everything.

Remember, people may not need a 'thank you' or demand for it but a 'thank you' makes you attractive, courteous and of course, next time people would still want to do you a favour.

Learn to say 'thank you' if you've not developed the attitude or habit of showing gratitude. I've come to understand that showing gratitude at all times even for the simple things is a habit that needs to be learned and acquired. Parents must on a daily basis inculcate in their children that habit of saying 'thank you.'

Courteous people say 'thank you' when they ask for the phone number of others and it is forwarded to them among other things. A person who can say thank you is an attractive person. It's crass behaviour to receive something and not murmur a thank you.

...so thank you for reading

.....Puppishgirl.....

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: PART-TIME GIRLFRIEND

I met Harry on the flight from Kumasi to Accra. I found him quite interesting but was shocked when he took my phone number promising to get in touch when we arrived in Accra.

He phoned me a week after we met and wanted to see me again. Oh well! It was a Friday night and I was freaking bored at home. I sent Harry my location via google map and he arrived in twenty minutes.

That night we ended up going home at 4am as we went round the city getting to know each other.

That was the beginning of 'us'. Harry asked me to be his girlfriend the following morning and I agreed instantly.

We were on for 18months and began planning our marriage when I woke up oneday to see pictures and videos of Harry all over Facebook. It was Harry's birthday and Ellen his girlfriend had thrown a surprise birthday party for him. I saw my Harry on his knees asking Ellen to be his wife with what sounded like a well rehearsed speech.

"If you asked me 6months ago whether I wanted to do this, I would say no. But today, I'm sure I want to do this and with no one but the beautiful Ellen." Amidst the cheers and applause, Ellen agreed. I zoned off. Just last night, I was with Harry. He slept at my place, I made him breakfast and he kept telling me how much he couldn't wait to make me his forever.
I never heard from Harry that day till the next morning.

I could not pretend hence I confronted him and Harry denied dating Ellen.  He said they were acting.

Dear Harry, I have seen the video a million times. I have cried and come to terms with it, I'm a part-time girlfriend whether or not I like it. That's what you made me but I refuse to accept this position.
I refuse!

Love hurts, love heals, part-time girlfriend or not, Harry wanted you to know you broke my heart. Yes you did! And that hurts...

.....Puppishgirl

Photo Source: Pinterest

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: SIDE CHICK

Hmmm Kwamena!

When Nelly introduced you to me at the party that night, all I saw was a perfect gentleman, the one I had been waiting for. We got on well, I felt like I had known you eight years like I knew Nelly. Your piercing eyes were the highlight of my thirty minutes spent with you that night.

I went to bed with those eyes staring in mine and I woke up craving to see those eyes again. I knew something was wrong initially when you wouldn't call me after 8pm or even text back. I dismissed the thought however with time as we started seeing each other.  You became the best thing that happened to me. You were there through the bad and the good while I flaunted you about as my man. You called me sunshine, God knows you were my huggy bear, my Mr fix it, my demigod.

I remember when I met your big sister, she was so warm and your younger sisters so welcoming. Your family loved me and by the seventh month, I just knew you were the one.
My reason for accepting to marry you, only to wake up one morning to a day that would change 'me' forever.

Ruth called saying she was your wife. That was quite confusing, I was lost for words. 'You got the wrong number' , I told her. 'Wrong number?  Aren't you Zoe? This is Kwamena's wife.' I did not get the chance to process the information. Ruth only wanted to plead with me to leave you alone. According to her, you barely stayed home and your 3 kids had not seen you in 6months and thus the call to ask me to release you for the sake of the children.

Still in disbelief Ruth sent photos of your wedding and children.

You still came to me that night and I ate from my sweet fold as you called it, you ate till the man in you could stand it no more. You promised to marry me before Christmas.  I never confronted you about Ruth. I only texted after you left my place to let you know it was time to move on.

Kwamena,  your Ruth keeps tormenting me even after 6weeks of not seeing you. She had me kidnapped for a week to school her on what I did to steal you away as according to her, you plan to divorce her.

Kwame, Ruth let another man eat from my sweetfold in the name of demonstrating how we dine on cloud nine with a gun to my head.

She had them beat me to a pulp with marks on my two cheeks which refuse to go away. Doctors say I'll need plastic surgery to correct it and  made me promise never to reach you again. Kwame, I have reported the incident to the police but how do I find Ruth? If only you had told me you were married to a certain Ruth with 3 kids, if only you had not told me you were single and had not led me on...

The marks on face remind me daily of how I lost my beauty over a man.

My heart is shattered as you have not bothered with an explanation. Your disappearance is proof of you being Ruth's husband.

Now I weep, not only because I lost you but I'm traumatised by Ruth's bitter lesson. I didn't know I was stealing you from anyone, it would have helped to know.

.........Puppishgirl

Photo Source: Pinterest

HEARTBREAK RENTED A ROOM IN MY HOUSE

I walked shoulder high like nothing could tear me up
Not all the things people cried about
I stopped brooding over fiddling details
I stopped myself from crying when YD left and not a single tear have I cried for love after that time.
I heard I was cold as ice

But sweet
Cold as ice only showed up when I remained calm when circumstances required me to melt.
Yesterday 'heartbreak' visited my house
and forcefully  acquired a room after shock slapped me in the face.
Sleep has been my best companion for hours
Food has not tasted well in my mouth 

I've faked laughter and smiles just to make conversation
But deep within....
Hmmmmmmm
I hurt

My heart aches for the disappointment of yesterday
Heartbreak came to rent a room in my house....

I didn't ask the watch and owner of my house questions:  'why would you let this happen to me?'
Instead I chose to take it as one of the lessons I had to learn
How we make plans for tomorrow yet God decides which ones will hold.
Whether it is God letting me go through the mill or it's some other thing..\

Not the kind of tears you cry for a man..
The tears you cry when you are late to the wedding and your groom gets the chance to change his mind.
Not a tear for him but for the loss of what was yours and the many days lost in one hour.
I told myself, if only I could cry a bucket full it would numb this pain...
All I know is heartbreak rented a room in my house and packed it with delay, tears, shock and sadness.

Photo Source: Pinterest