He Asked And I Said Yes

'Do you promise to love this man, foresaking all others,  to cherish and stay faithful to this man for the rest of your life? ' Reverend Fabin asked again. The bride needed to answer the question to ensure a  smooth running of the ceremony.The garden was quiet awaiting the bride's response.

She had listened carefully to the words of Reverend Fabin from the beginning but didn't hear him conclude his question.  She had only been brought back to reality when she heard her  name. 'Lola, do you promise to love this man, foresaking all others,  to cherish and stay faithful to this man for the rest of your life?' Reverend Fabin asked again.  The bride still did not respond. Hyde stared at her face wondering if something was amiss. Had she changed her mind. Why wasn't she responding. Had she changed her mind, he wondered.

Lola
I heard Reverend Fabin ask the question from the beginning and listened attentively as if I was hearing it for the first time.   Though I had heard it over and over again during our prep up sessions leading to today.  I did not have the chance to answer.  I lost concentration as  Reverend Fabin   went on. Then, I heard him mention my name and listened as he repeated the question again.  Giving each a word a careful thought but my mind drifted off....

It struck my mind, how it had all began. It had been raining for hours in the city. My car got stuck in the middle of the road and would not move again.  I wondered what would happen to me in the rain. Frustrated ,  I buried my face on the steering wheel. After a while, I heard a tap on the glass but did not bother.  Then I heard it again and raised my head to find a dark handsome guy, standing in the rain and staring at me.

He  helped me get home and later had my car brought to me.  That had marked a discovery journey for me. I found in him: a best friend, a laughing mate, a nurse, a doctor,a chef, Mr. Fix it, my gift, my bible class teacher,  my super man and more. Each day, his actions endorsed him as the Adam I had been praying for. Six months after we met, Hyde asked me the question I had been looking forward to being asked for the most part of my adult life.

He had invited me to Jades where he and his friends had been hanging out that evening and there, he had it all planned.  'My queen; Lola, would you marry me pleaseeeeee?'  Remembering that day brought a smile to my face  now and I know remembering today in future,  would even make me laugh as long as this lasts.

I stared at Hyde. He looked perturbed. Thank you for making me so happy.  Thank you for choosing me to do this with.  I'm  lucky to have you and today, I promise to love, cherish and celebrate you forever. I thought secretly to myself.  'I doooooooooooooo' Smiling stupidly. The thunderous applause that came from the  witnesses  present at our celebration of love brought me back to reality. I had said the I do unconsciously.

I was walking on air.
The beauty of love found me.

I've been on break.
Had challenges with my health so the break was necessary. 
I'm back now.

Photo source:  :)
I can use all your pictures as many times as I wish without asking or acknowledging the source says me :)

Still Learning

I was quick to judge
Quick to decide
Hasty in my decision making
Inconsiderate towards the feelings of others and quick to speak.
What a humbling experience it has been for me.
In your distress, you learn the most vital lessons.
When you are down,
You learn the act of keeping faith
In falling,
You acquire enough strength to never quit.

I learned.
Humbling few days.
Even in my darkest time, I'm grateful to God for seeing me through. From Saturday till now.

He Carries Me: Thank you Lord

'Safe in your arms
Sheltered from harm
How great is your goodness ....

Hidden away
Hidden from harm
How great your love...'

Randy Rothwell' s song above fits how I'm feeling.

Tonight, I'm just wondering who am I? That God carries and loves me so much.
His love for me is beyond description.  It is not like the love of some guy who loves me today and doesn't love me tomorrow.  It is not like the love of some guy who gets mad at me for one mistake I made and never wants to see or speak with me again.  His love for me is unconditional.
His love is not like that of those who choose who to love, he doesn't fail neither does he disappoint.

On Wednesday night, Iasked that he carry me. I did not know that a few days after that, I would go through a test of who carries me. Tonight,  I can confidently say the God of Abraham, Jacob and Isaac carries me. The woman with the issue of blood believed in touching just the hem of his garment to put an end to twelve long years of suffering. 

At 3am today, it started as a joke. I was calm and collected as well as optimistic. An hour later, I knew I was in for a long haul but my conviction held me. If I'm being carried, he who carries my burden must deal with it not me. After two hours, I had prayed and prayed. I had worshipped and just appreciated him for what he was about to do but it didn't happen for what seemed like hours.

I cried. I prayed. I screamed. I was inconsolable.  Five long hours of distress. Five long hours, unable to sit or lay down.  Five long hours of screaming, pain, torture. I had tried everything.  Nothing seemed to be working. Sweating, panting, pacing back and forth,  tears flowed like a waterfall as I waited to be taken into emergency. It didn't matter how many needles or knives they would use. I just wanted to be fine again.

Quarter bag out.  Half and then one full. Finally over a bag. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I, that you  carried me all day and saw me through?  Your love is amazing.  I'm lost for words.  All I can say is thank you Lord for seeing me through 16th May, 2015. Thank you.  I lived for the moment.All of me says thank you.

Thanks to everyone who has stood by me from 3am till now.  For all the prayers, love and support. God is indeed ahead.
I appreciate all the love.

You Are A Woman

For once, these women who preach 'You don't need a man' admit they have their lonely moments.  They cry, they go through days when they wish they had their own children or their own men.

I have come to understand that, not everyone gets what they want at every stage in life. Sometimes, you can push your way through: you can work your way to where you want to be, or who you want to be.

Yet, certain things in life, such as being a wife or a mother cannot be achieved the same way you can work at becoming a pilot or a doctor. Even motherhood has options. You can choose to be a surrogate mum or  adopt a child and still have someone call you Mummy.

What about being a wife? No one adopts a wife or calls anyone my step wife or surrogate wife. You are either married or you are single. You cannot push yourself to become a wife. In writing my novel: Sunshine Dollup, I came to relate so well to my main character who was single and told the story so well I believe. I can now comprehend the single woman better.

Watching all these single women: childless, being celebrated Today: sharing their experiences, admitting their weaknesses, I just realized that sometimes,  you cannot have it all though others do.

You just have to learn to be content.
You are a woman, just be content.
Womanhood is a blessing. 

To the one woman who keeps reminding me that, giving up is not an option and that regardless of what time and age it is, I can still get there; my alarm clock, my fightmate, my prayer partner, my best and worst friend, my advisor, the most patient and tolerant woman I've ever known, my seamstress, hairstylist, my teacher.....the list goes on, my Alice.

To  a mum in heaven, forever in my heart.

To every woman who has been a mother to me, I appreciate you....
I have quite a tall list, would rather not mention names.

To the mother of the man of my dreams :)  thanks in advance.

To every woman, celebrating you'all.

Sunshine Dollup : Diary Of A Single Woman VII

Yella
What was Audrey thinking. She and her Jeremy excused themselves, Claude and I watched as they walked hand in hand and gradually disappeared.

Our order arrived but I just picked my phone and started texting Bambi. I sincerely hoped she would come on line. 'Hey big sis, you okay?' 'No Bambi. I'm sitting at the beach with some weird guy.'
'Lol. Give me a description of him.' 'Tall, fair, not cute but attractive. White teeth, I'm wondering if he's bleached'  'Hehehehe. Married, single, dating?' Asked Bambi. 'He isn't wearing a band.' 'Oh well, work it big sis. I'm stepping out briefly. Lets chat later.Love you xx'
Bambi went off line without waiting for me to finish typing.

I looked up at Claude's face and he was staring at me. 'Can we eat now?' Without waiting for my response,  he picked a tissue and handed me a piece of pizza before helping himself. 'Thanks.' Was all I could manage to say. What was that for? Did I ask him to help me? Interesting dude. By the time I was done, he had helped me pick another one without asking. 

'Where do you live Ella?' 'Down West and you?'  'Milkyway.' I nodded.  Well he asked me, I was just trying to make conversation. 'What do you do?' Errrrmmmm, why do you want to know.  I thought to myself. 'I'm an Investment banker.' 'Whats your focus?' Claude asked again. 'Mergers and acquisitions. ' He looked intrigued by now. I lecture part time as well.' He smiled . ' What did you study at school?' MBA in Law'. 'Aha, interesting. Smart girl.' This time, I smirked  ' . ...and what do you do?' He  smiled staring into my eyes. His smile was funny I thought.  I smiled back. 'You have a beautiful smile' Claude said to me. 'Thanks.' Dude, answer the question and stop with the unnecessary flattery. I'm aware. Yella is beautiful.  God  did a good job with me. No need reminding me. I know it.

'I'm a doctor.' He got me laughing.  You're a joke I thought.  You? A doctor? How many patients do you attend to in a day because seriously dude, you look funny. Your patients must love you. 'Thats nice' I managed to say. 'Coming from you, thanks.' He said smiling. 

There was an awkward moment of silence whilst we all munched on the pizza. 'Are you working tomorrow? ' Claude asked.  'Yes, are you? ' 'No, I'm on vacation.'    'Good for you... So what are you going to be doing with your time?' 'Have breakfast,  lunch or dinner with you if you would let me.'  I laughed at his statement.  'Me?' 'Yes sure. Please say yes.' For a moment I thought he was joking but he kept asking.

'I'm sorry.  Can't have breakfast or lunch with you.' 'Dinner? ' I thought through my schedule for tomorrow. I had to get home to finish with my End of semester exam questions.  I had to submit them by tuesday at noon. No way. Ain't got time to have dinner with anyone tomorrow.  'Dinner, its settled right, 8pm. Marbles, is that okay? '  'Hahahah.  I haven't said yes.' 'Oh well,  I was hoping you would say yes.' 'Okay Claude,8pm.' I agreed though I didn't want to. Afterall, I was going to be home alone and was going to finish with my questions in an hour or so. I was sure to spend the rest of my night alone and wishing I had someone to cuddle or laugh with.

Audrey and Jeremy only came back when darkness fell on the beach. I had tried reaching Aya several times but her phone was off. How was I going to get home, I thought. 'Are you okay?' Claude asked. I nodded and he smiled at me. 'So Aya will pick you up? ' Audrey asked. ' Well, thats what we agreed on but her phone is off.' 'Let Claude drop you at home.' Without waiting for my response,  she went on to ask him. 'Claude, can you please take Yella home? Her sister is supposed to be picking her up but her phone is off .' 'I can do that. ' Claude answered. 

Audrey and I walked behind as the guys walked infront of us to the car park. It was dark and the beach was becoming cold. I kept trying Aya's phone but it was still off. When we got to the car park, Jeremy bid me goodbye whilst Audrey hugged me. 'We'll talk when I get home. It was fun hanging out with you. ' She said smiling.  Fun, I thought.  You and your boyfriend just disappeared leaving me all alone and you call that fun. My lips are sealed.

Claude and I walked in silence as he guided me  to his car. We got to the 2014  silver Acura MDX, was I seeing right. I saw this car on Tv the other day. 2015 and 2014. I love cars and have been looking out to make them out easily. Aya and I do that often to see who gets the name right. Well maybe it isn't an Acura MDX, I thought. Yes it is, I'm sure. As I contemplated, Claude opened the door for me to get seated and shut it after me. I waited as he came to sit in the drivers seat beside me and turned on the ignition. He stared at me before moving the car. I took out my phone again.  Dialling Aya's number. It was still off. Why would Aya's phone be off. She had not even sent a text to let me know if there was a problem.

Claude rudely interupted my thoughts as it began to rain. 'I'm glad we left the beach.' 'Me too, we would have gotten drenched.' 'Yes.' The car was quiet again with just the radio on. I turned to gaze at Claude and then looked away onto the road that stretched on, ahead of us.

Are You Really My Friend?

What do you do when you are talking to someone you think is your friend; someone you don't even have issues with and all of a sudden he points a gun at you?

I never would have sat down to think about this but on Thursday night, I had the worst experience of my life.

Whilst talking to someone I thought was a friend, he just pointed a gun to my head. Don't ask how I felt. I can't explain. For a moment, I thought I was going to die. Finally when that long moment was over, I can't tell where the tears came from.  They just streaked down my cheeks.  'You're such a cry baby, I was just joking....' He kept saying.  Oh well, how can you point a gun to my head and call that a joke? You could have mistakenly pressed.....

I'm thinking, if I had died on Thursday  night, no one would have ever traced my death to him. Never. Where I said I was going, was not where I was. If I had died, you would never be able to call and reach me again.

Today,  the story would have been different because someone thought I liked 'fooling' and pointing a gun at me was a nice way  of taming me, because I'm a dog? Interesting.

Well I'm grateful that he didn't pull the trigger but really, are you ever going to be my friend again? I'm scared of you. Its not funny! Are you sure, you were my friend? Are you my friend?

I know you are reading this.  Shame on you for doing that to me. Dare call my phone or text to ask why I put it here, I'll mention your name on social media. You can't go about misconducting yourself because your dad is.......
Next time!