If today was my last Sunday on earth, I would certainly have
regrets, lots of regrets and according to my belief, well, I believe in Jesus
Christ, that he was crucified and died on the cross of Calvary and was buried
and resurrected on the third day and sits on the right hand of his father where
he has gone to prepare a place for me and he will return to take away with him
to his father’s house those who are his. You can call it bullshit, crap, a
tale, whatever, that’s my belief unfortunately, you can’t take it away from me.
So like I said, I would have regrets. The regret that I did
not go to worship in his house with brethren and do my duties in his house,
including playing the organ for people to sing and worship their maker,
including not going to clean his house for people to come and sit and
fellowship with their maker and brethren, I would have regrets such as all the
times I would not show up to perform my duties in his house, such as the times
I mistakenly went to church to show off my ass, to please the pastor because he
expected me to be in church and not to please the one who gave me life, such as
the times I went to church because of what people thought and not what God
thought of me.
You see, I’ll have all of these regrets including the times
I sowed seeds to please men and not because I wanted to and all the times even
under the watch of God I went straight from sin to the house of God because I
was expected to. All the times I said I was tired and couldn’t go to church
especially in the early stages of my LLB when the only days I had to myself was
Sunday mornings, thus thought it was a better time to nap and completely
stopped being a church worker. I went weeks without going to church on Sundays.
All these thoughts ran through my head and I remembered that
sometimes we ask God for particular blessings and yet the same blessings
somehow manage to keep us away from serving God to the fullest.
Like a woman barren for years asking God for the fruit of
the womb, and he finally grants her request but her child and taking care of
him stands in the way between her and her maker so she’s unable to show up in
his house or even continue with her duties in her house, perhaps as a church
worker.
Our sister Dela who went to be with the Lord in 2018 came to
mind while all these thoughts ran through my mind. She left this world at 32 but
according to her mum, during her final moments, she knew her life here had
ended as she seemed to have rather prepared for the journey ahead of her. That
unknown journey that none of us has ever embarked on and will never embark on
to return here to tell the rest what exactly that place is like, or what they
go to do there. But all we know is that, their being absent in the body means
to be present with God according to the scripture in 2Corinthians 5:8
Memories of Dela still hurt like she left today instead of
almost two years ago. Also when I remember that I set foot in church over
there, expecting to see her beautiful big eyes and her smile, yet I would never
see her in this life again, when the choir sings and they’re dancing and I
cannot see her in the choir or when they would pray and for us and pray for her
as she prepared to take after her mum, the zeal with which she served in the
house of God, it occurred to me I have not done much because even until her her final moments she was still doing what she had to do.
People leave the house of God and go and die, people die enroute to church, people die after a night out at the club, peope live here twenty years, and go away but sometimes,
their works are more than those who live fifty or ninety.
God! I’m thinking that every day we get to live here, is a
day to live as if we have no time. To complete the works which we have been
ordained to do. Months ago when I was preparing to undergo one of those stages in life when you just had to do it to survive, I
wrote my biography, I sped up the books and stories I was working on and
specifically wrote all instructions down for my sister. If I went and didn’t
return for some reason, I must have shared my talent with the world but most
especially spiritually, I needed to secure for myself, to ensure that I was safe wherever
it is I was going.
Must it be said that I came here, went through all this torture
of today I’m under the weather, tomorrow I’m that and depart the world to be unhappy wherever? If I was going to leave, then the peace they speak about, I
must find and find absolutely.
And today, I only seek to ask you, if today was your last
Sunday, would you have any regrets like me?
Sometimes, we chase our dreams: bearing children, marriage, education, career,
etc so much we barely have time for the things of God but while we chase the
world, remember your creator because there’s no remembrance of him in death
according to Psalm 6:5
If I so scared you with death and what if….it’s because
today, I came to remind you that, no matter what you do, remember your creator as we are entreated in Ecclesiastes 12:1.
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