"This is my current struggle
After all I've been through I've become heartless
I feel like the world has been mean to me and I've experienced the worse form of pain
So when people are not responding
I don't push
Once again
I'm sorry
I won't take you for granted you know you mean the world to me
It was just that ice-cold part getting the most of me
But I'm really making a conscious effort to work on me
~~~~~~~~~
Letter to my forever friend and sister from another mother..
Dear Friends,
I think for the past 8months I've been taking my friends for granted or so. Some have been kind enough to let me know while others have just walked away.
I have not bothered to respond to messages or call back. I don't see the need to go the extra mile for people who do nothing but nag. Neither have I been able to empathise appropriately with others in their times of need.
Using this medium to carefully apologise especially to the people who despite everything have stood by me.
Let me sum it up by mentioning that I'm working on myself to not let the heat I felt months ago, form the basis for how I treat people around me.
I'm at a point where I feel I've been through the worse kind of pain ever that nothing is considered painful anymore. I've done it to my own siblings who opted to book me at the Psychologist's office instead.
A lot has happened, physically and psychologically . Yes, I should have been able to go past the trauma I went through by now. Yes, I have, but that experience changed me and has left me where I am currently. While I seek professional help, I pray that you, my dear friends are able to view this phase as one in which I'm transitioning to become a better version of me.
On a good day, I'm sweet and really kind. Not heartless and ice-cold. The World and trauma must have caused this but I'm accountable for my imperfections.
Friends forgive so my apologies as I just came to the realisation that my action has had dire consequences on my relationships with others. My sincere apologies to those I've snapped at unnecessarily, for the times I overreacted or did not react when I had to and the lack of empathy at most times.
I love my friends, and the people who've been there for me, especially throughout my recovery. Thank you for your tolerance and patience. Bless everyone of you!
Love always
Elikem
