I quickly responded "Yes,yes, in a bit." I stepped outside to get her the airtime.
I only got her GHS10 airtime and sent it. I never heard from her. Although it was unusual, I thought she must have been busy and would get back to me when she was free. The following day, I didn't hear from her, it was strange. My friend was quite courteous so I knew she would text back to acknowledge receipt of the airtime. But I never heard from her.
Her regular "Hey sis, I'm off to class" in the mornings ceased. "Sis, I'm going to bed, chat tomorrow", also stopped. It was weird but do you know what, I never bothered to check up on her. After a few days of thinking my courteous friend wouldn't go quiet on me, I tried reaching her, but her phone was off. That Saturday night she said she had something to tell me, but she couldn't tell me. Was hoping after she got the airtime, she would spill out her worries to me.
Mawufemor fell ill as soon as she received the airtime or so and was rushed to the hospital. She had to undergo emergency surgery on Monday and died in the theatre before the process could begin. I didn't know. I stayed in my house making assumptions and thinking she didn't want to speak to me or acknowledge receipt of the airtime at least. I couldn't attend the funeral because her phone was off the whole time. I also was not aware that she died and was buried in a few days.
It was a shock when her Mum phoned my Mum to inform her about her daughter's death. She could never tell my mum, what killed my friend. A year after her death, we met her Mum at a funeral. She broke down when she saw my sister and I I following our Mum all over the place. "Sister Alice, look how your assets are following you around and mine is laying in the grave." God comfort you, I thought to myself while trying to give her a hug.
For a really long time, I couldn't get over how I let myself get upset and not reach out to my friend before her demise. It was my chance to tell her, how much I loved her and how she had to stay here for her Mum. I grieved my friend for years. Anytime I go to Ho and pass by their house, I literally insult her in my mind. If only she had been able to speak to me that night, I would have asked her not to do it. Society and the rumour mill have succeeded in dictating to people how to live their lives. A child out of wedlock when you're a young girl is abominable in this African society of ours. Girls would rather get an abortion and die in the process instead of living with the shame of carrying a child without the father by their side.
Sometimes instead of living our lives, we turn to live it on society's terms. Why are you still childless at your age why are you still single, all your mates are married. Then we end up making some terrible decisions and settling for trashy men who will treat us like trash. Society drives people to commit suicide when they can actually live.
The major lesson for me was to stop waiting for people to acknowledge receipt or say thank you. It's true that some people are just crass, but genuinely, we must stop looking forward to people texting back and acknowledging receipt. We must look beyond their flaws. My friend was fighting for her life and I was bothered about the fact that she had not acknowledged receipt of my paltry airtime. People are not texting or calling back sometimes for a reason. They aren't only being selective at other times, they are in distress.
Five years on, and I'm certain we could have been talking and laughing because you were a month away from seeing your dream come true when you left. Where's that dude for whom you had to suffer? Definitely with another woman and married by now. Where are you my friend? Under the debris in a box, laying still till eternity. It hurts babes, it hurts that you aren't here. Your mum has never recovered since you left, she's still a mess, she still doesn't know how to live without her only daughter but God is taking care of her.
Everyday I ask myself, what do I say. I hope your tears are over where you are. I hope you are resting from the torture and pain of this world. I hope you stopped regretting what happened and have found peace where you are. I have no answers but the lesson, I'll live with forever. No final words, no farewell flowers....
With fond memories of my dear friend:
I miss you my friend.
I saw your pictures today and have been crying
Your fine ass, boobs and beautiful smile all faded away and I didn't even get the chance to buy you farewell flowers or even say goodbye.
