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Wednesday 16 November 2016

Pink Sweet II

Monday
Alarm Clock

Pink Sweet became my alarm clock.
Can't tell how I got him to be all that.
Morning messages became regular and every morning I woke up and went through my day showered with sweets from Pink Sweet.

Tuesday
My User Guide: emotionally  fed

Even when the day got difficult, my evenings  were special.

'Hey.
Are you home?
I'll be there in ten minutes.'

When Pink Sweet arrived, I got a hug first.  The hugs that made me feel super hugged.
Followed by forehead kisses : my favourite.  We talked and laughed about nothing. We said goodbye with hugs and kisses. Sweet kisses. I loved kissing him already.

If someone  did something  or said something  to me, Pink Sweet was the  one to tell. He never advised. He just  listened  and empathized. Once a while he would  bring  a suggestion.

He just never  blamed, condemned or call me names.
Here's where I  found  a  friend, someone  I felt comfortable  talking  to.
My go to person. He fed my emotions.

He probably  knew what to  do or say to make me feel better.
Perhaps he had gotten  my user guide.....how else could  he know what to do or say and when to.....?

'Are you still mad at me?'

Oh well... you know  I am....yet what  can  I  say.

I'm sorry genuinely  meant I'm sorry.
Pink Sweet  wasn't  afraid to let me see or know he was sorry. He would mean it if he said he was.

My user guide.....

Wednesday
Making Out

If I got lucky: I always was, we made out. It started with the I'm happy to see you, I missed  you hugs. It extended to forehead kisses, thigh kisses and then......pour some sugar....

Pink Sweet! I was freaking attracted to him. I mean all through, I had to exercise self control not to cross boundaries. It's not like he would deny me. He never denied me access to his beautiful body.

The problem  was with me!
Where I was coming  from and then the  book I'd read came to mind once a while.

I was always unbuttoning his shirt to touch his chest hair. Laying on his chest felt super good. Ouch!
Like my special  place.

Thursday
Priceless Moments 

It didn't matter how mad Pink Sweet was with me. If we had a fight,  it didn't go beyond Thursday. For some funny reason, Thursday  would be the day Pink Sweet came to see me if he hadn't done so all week.

I think Thursdays were his happy days.....

The first time we probably kissed was on a Thursday. Brief and quick. It was the best and safest kiss ever for me. It felt like I was kissing for the first time.

'My lips are all swollen from the kiss but I enjoyed kissing you and want to kiss you again xoxo.'

That made me really smile.
Little  did  I  understand it was a   promise  to let me know  he wouldn't  stop kissing  me  anytime  soon.

If only he knew I enjoyed kissing him too.
Kissing him felt like I was a teenager.

Trust me, I had analysed this friendship before everything and just thought we won't last.

I was Damn wrong.
I got addicted before I could think straight again.

In the end, I resolved to take what he could  offer me.......
Pink Sweet.

Oranges
Oranges for me

I found oranges...
Sweet: I ate  them and loved the taste.
Sour : Sometimes it tasted sour. 
I tasted more sweets than I recall tasting   the sour ones.

Dark Clouds
Bad Days

We all have our dark days. We did too.

Dark quiet days...
Annoying, teary dark days....

Time
Wounds heal with time.

Time does heal the wounds.
With time you forget the past.
Time is magical.
Time made me realize  I only stopped looking at Pink Sweet on those dark days but I never stopped caring.

Friends Today
Strangers Tomorrow 

Life has always confirmed this: today we are friends, addicted to each other.

Hurting and forgiving each other.

Mad at each other.

Tomorrow, we become strangers on our dark days.
Like people who can't get past their differences and over each others  mistakes.

Forgiveness and letting go...
Love forgives.

Silver Lining

After the night comes the morning.
When the wound heals,
When the tears cease,
In those lacey clouds, you will find  that silver lining.

Love hurts.
Love heals.
Pour some sugar....
It's pink sweet!


Photo Credit: Google photos



Friday 11 November 2016

Pink Sweet I

Pink Sweet

Friday
Weird Dude

We met on a Friday night. He came across as the stranger who ate my pizza without  asking. Who does that? I found that weird. Well....He was wasted, I  learned later. Not my type of boy and so I didn't look any further.

Wouldn't  have believed  it, if I was told he would become  my pizza eating mate days on....

Friday nights turned out to  be awesome  spent with my favourite person. Friday nights were for hanging out.
Ice cream, pizza, beach time..... whatever......even if we just talked.

Perfect  time to cuddle.
Kiss your  favourite person 
Talk about  nothing .....Friday!

Friday  nights,  for Pink Sweet.

Saturday
Pink Sweet Sixteen

I could see clearly the dude who ate my pizza without asking... all because he was wasted. Tall, nice eyes, pink lips, super hairy, ....no!  More importantly beautiful soul I discovered  later.

He wanted to know my favourite type of pizza so  he would get it for me next time. I would have  doubted it was a promise to eat pizza with me always. Words that must have made no meaning to me as of that time. A promise of friendship  it turned out to be.....

I even mentioned he was sixteen on our first Saturday night out in the midst of his friends. It became a thing to laugh about...he became the laughing stock. The girl had obviously called him a baby yet he  remained calm.

I never got in touch after that second meeting. He did though.

Sunday
Bittersweet and torturous

Sundays were days that Pink Sweet  never came around. Rather we kept in touch all day via texts or phone.

Sunday was when I decided after all those months, I would go visit my Pink Sweet for the first time.  He had stopped coming to see me after threatening he wouldn't come to see me anymore if I never went to visit. He had  been  doing  all the chasing, well.....

I didn't bother going that extra mile because I had my own demons budging me. I also didn't see where this was leading. Trust me I had analysed this friendship before everything and just thought we wouldn't go far. Reasons: we were at different stages at different times of our lives. I just didn't think  we would  last beyond that time. All the odds seemed to be against us including age as well as friends. I just knew I couldn't wait for him to get it together.  He would prove me wrong later.

That Sunday, I wished it hadn't  taken  so long to taste my pink sweet. Prior  to that time, I  never  felt pressured to do anything. He was so understanding whilst I  still struggled  to determine  where I wanted this to lead to.

Sunday was the day I  let myself go.
I didn't  care where  this led or ended.
I lived in the moment and for  the  moment.
My only duty was to enjoy   it   whilst  it lasted.
It was all I  could do.

Never knew it would be a day for  confirmation and affirmation.

I took what  he gave me: bittersweet, yummy.
I gave him what  I  could  though selfishly.
My addiction  assumed another  dimension.
If I  was addicted  to  his persona only, then I  was kidding because  with this addiction  came an addiction to all of him.

Sunday was a time  I would  remember....
As bittersweet and torturous.
All the tears I would cry later was because of Sunday.....

Pink Sweet💖



To be continued!

Photo Credit: Lilly


Wednesday 9 November 2016

If I Wore Rags, I Would Still Be Beautiful!

On Sunday, I decided to look different. Instead of my usual style of dressing to church, I chose to wear a colourful slit and lace top. My niece kept laughing at my appearance even as I was about to leave home though she told me I looked nice. I  contemplated  changing clothes when I remembered an incident that happened with Yd.

He had come to see me one  Friday night after work. He had closed late and we were not hanging out. As always,  I  hugged  him, elated to finally see him after a long day. When we were done with the hugs, kisses and the I missed you bit, as part of his ritual  of paying attention  to everything  'me'   he began to check out my clothes.

'Is that a night dress?' Touching the dress I was wearing  probably  to be sure he was seeing right.
Oh gosh. Boys! I thought to myself.
'I wouldn't  wear my night dress to see you please.'
He smiled and said to me; 'even if you wore rags, you would  still be beautiful.'
I smiled back, mumbling a thank you  though I wasn't exactly sure what that meant. I sought to get an explanation some other time.

After this time, one thing resonated with me. I was pretty, no doubt but beneath that physical beauty, he saw something  I could not see or did not know I possessed. A beautiful mind and soul: beautiful  inside and outside. I ended up wearing my slit and lace top reminding myself that even if I wore rags, I would still be beautiful.

How many times, haven't  we focused so much on our outward appearance as individuals neglecting our inward beauty?  I'm not saying to neglect your outward appearance by wearing unfashionable clothes, mismatch,  unironed  clothes or a look that will make people think twice about you at a first glance. No! But do not be too busy working on your physical beauty at the expense of developing an inner beauty.

A good attitude towards others, a forgiving heart, loving others even when they prove so difficult to be loved: there are people who will simply not appreciate someone being nice to them because they are either too damaged or too busy to see. Being kind, gentle, helpful and thoughtful.
Thinking through your words  before they come out: bearing in mind the feelings of others before you say those words.
Self love: loving yourself so much that you radiate love and people who come around you, can feel the love too. A smile: a smile that misinforms the world you have no worries, till your worries desert you because they can't stand your smile. One that melts the heart of another person. Self confidence is key. Above  all, submitting to a higher authority: the old bearded man up there and feeding your spirit man constantly just as you do to your body.

Let people learn to see beyond the pretty or handsome  face and beautiful body appreciating the inner you. You can be so physically attractive but without your inner beauty, you will still be a bitch.
Next time you look in the mirror and aren't so sure of who you see, remember who you are and say : 'I would still be beautiful  if I wore rags.'











Tuesday 8 November 2016

Blue Butterfly ...


When the flower  calls out to the butterfly....
Come let's play.
But how?
You are a butterfly who only flies across.
I want you to constantly fly to me.
Fly above,fly around, fly, just fly over me.
How do I fly my flower?
Oh butterfly, did you not learn the art of flying before coming out?
I only wanted to give you flying lessons but whilst I watched you fly over me, I learned that my little game of  fly over could turn on me.
In the eyes of the world you are a butterfly.
I don't care what the world calls you.
I only see a friend in butterfly.
I only see blue in a butterfly.

If they think because of who you are,
I should have you fly around at all cost....
I look beyond who you are in the eyes of the world.
It is who you are to me that makes me want to have you fly across my world.
Beautiful : a beautiful blue butterfly
Gentle: when are you going to ever get mad?
Intelligent: I like your ignorance when it comes to something outside your world.
Who you are in my eyes :  I can't explain. The day I do will be the day we probably say goodbye.
You make me happy and it's all that matters.
It does not matter who you are in the eyes of the world....
It is who you are to me, how you make me feel and the peace that comes with you as a person.
I don't care who they say you are in the eyes of others, I'll only see that when I'm unwell, I'm sure.
All I know is, you make me smile, you make me laugh,
you make me happy,
you make me....
I still  don't know what that means but it was not meant to turn out this way....
It was just  fly over lessons for butterfly.
Where are you?
Don't fly away.....
Come suck my nectar.
Where are you?
Come suck  on my sweetness.
Fly over me, across and around my world.
Where are you blue butterfly. ....








Photo Credit: Fb/ The Idealist