A HERO IN LIFE'S FIGHT

'Life is opening out before you
Youthful life so fresh and bright
God on high is watching over you
Be a hero in the fight
Be a hero
Stand up bravely for the fight
Be a hero
Be a hero
Be a hero in the fight'

~An old song from Primary School~

How I hate the sight of  graveyards especially when my mind isn't preconditioned to see one.

You know the hysteria that comes with it: sometimes it sets the mood for the rest of my day. It reminds me of my grandparents, my mother and a friend, my little cousin who went to be with the Lord at age 11 or so, my girlfriend who asked me for airtime and took ill and that was the end. Don't even know if she finished the airtime.

 I'm reminded of all the people I've lost to death who lie beneath the debris in the bottom surrounded by darkness.

Sometimes I like to just look at the numerous grave yards when I pass by. It teaches me lessons though it always comes with a feeling of sadness. The other time I passed by it again, I started putting this write up together but couldn't finish it.

How we take the life we live for granted. Some gamble with it, drive at top speed, ride motor bikes and gamble with their lives in the middle of the road as if this life were a gambling slot. Sometimes we are living alright but dead inside, either because of some negative experiences of the past or people's attitudes toward us. Sometimes we murder ourselves with our own words, at other times we do it to others with our very words.

I've been down for  two weeks, but while I lay not going to school or work, and trying to get well again, life taught me the meaning of that song we used to scream and sing during Primary school days back in UPS. Then, this song held no meaning for us, at least not for me. Now it does. I would sing this song to my roomie and friend Alexa years ago in Akuafo and she would say to me 'you always have a way of making me feel better'  at that time, it was to probably make her happy but now this song makes more meaning.

When all the odds are against you, when darkness seems to linger on and it isn't darkness beneath the debris,know that life is still opening out before you. When you feel like giving up, when you feel it's time to die and so cage yourself in, whilst still alive, remember this song I've just shared with you. Be a hero in the fight,  yes you be a hero in life's fight!

Photo Source: Google photos

A WALK DOWN THE AISLE TALES: CASH FOR SUGAR DADDY

People come into our lives for various reasons. Some come as acquaintances,  helpers, friends for life name them. Just the other day, I went asking my friends if they knew any rich old men. It was hilarious,  my girlfriends dissed me, others said I was crazy, while others laughed it off. My male friends: some were like is it Movenpick or Kempinski you to want to go to, I'll take you. Others said they were available, it must have sounded like a joke. There was another group that got furious that I would come asking for sugar daddy links in the first place. Oh well, was just messing around but indeed there's too much pressure in this world.

If you are aspiring to be my sugar daddy, the five or four star hotels in Ghana won't impress me unless I allow myself to be impressed by you by psyching myself up. You know why, as early as age 22 , I had this boyfriend, who was  son of a certain big man in Ghana who wanted to act like a big man himself,  as young as we were. Those hotels were  where we had our drinks just to talk or watch soccer and have  dinner. After that time, taking me to such places and wasting what I call money which may be peanuts to you, does not wow me.

I seemingly had a male admirer not long ago who loved to tow the same line, he believed in taking me to the best places to dine but when nothing came out of it, he called me the girl who wouldn't even appreciate his head if he cut it for me. You see, a certain boy had spoilt me and taught me to look beyond material things and luxurious places. Believe me I appreciate simple gestures and places, I've come to learn it's the intent and reason behind a person's actions that matters. Now tell me, where are you gonna take me in Ghana that I haven't been to?

Sugar Daddies come into the lives of young women to get one thing, their sexual fantasies and desires met. In some instances they genuinely love the little girls they date and end up settling down with them if they do not have men in their lives already. I know a childhood friend who is happily married to one with whom she has kids and obviously he has helped push her  dreams. I don't know if she has any regrets though. Just the other day, I was sharing with my lecturer the story of a sugar daddy who had gotten poisoned by his little girlfriend and died leaving his wife and children. My coursemate had told me the story which happened in his neighbourhood. Apparently she had wanted to get married to her younger boyfriend who she confessed had told her to kill the old man.

Personally, I'm thinking if I have a sugar daddy he has to be able to prove beyond reasonable doubts that he can blow my mind off. Yes trips abroad for the weekend, a luxurious car; brand new, yes brand new, a business empire, please this whole Ghana legal education system is frustrating, a paid world-class education in the  UK, US or Canada  won't be bad. A fat bank account,  a Regimanuel Gray estate apartment; I only ask for Regimanuel, it's affordable, I don't want to punch holes in your pocket  and we are good to go. I'm so cheap, my list isn't too tall.

Till then, we remain friends because afterall if you are not single and can marry me, this is no time to be deceiving myself into a relationship where he stands to gain more than me.  I should be enhancing my life too because in the end, he'll go back to his wife or? And I'll be left to hunt for my Adam again. Oh but if he's single and raises the bar high, and I want to spend my life with him, why not. Yes, even if you are a young married man, the gains must be good, seriously!  This sin must give me some benefits to show for.....

Yet the little I' ve seen and come to learn about this life is, it will be wrong for a young woman to place her dreams in the pocket of a man. Some maybe lucky and have those men safeguard them and help nurture them. I'm not a believer in such things. I'm still that conservative thinking woman who believes in owning my own dreams and working at it, it will be a plus to have a man push me but I do not rely on a man to push me. Did I hear you mention feminism? No no, don't get it wrong. I beg to differ, I believe a man will not marry my beauty only, I should be able to also bring something worthwhile to the table. My man must be proud he met me and has me. Do I throw my talent away or put it on hold because I await a man to push me? Oh!

Sugar Daddy can't be my thing because if you ask me to sit and wait for you, I won't. My brains race too much to want to sit and wait for someone who has got their own life. Oh I know what your argument will be next, a younger man can be equally domineering, yes but I haven't met any yet.

Some young women genuinely need the push to reach their destinations, that's fine and even if I did, I would rather hustle unless the money is worth it. Which ever way, would you like a Sugar Daddy? Feel free to have one. If not, girl, live your life...freedom is expensive!

Photo Source: Owi

Life Is Gold

Ghanaians woke up to the sad news of dancehall artiste Ebony's demise on Friday. While I did those few lines announcing the news to the world, I was not only in a state of denial hoping it would be another of those pranks but was certain it would be fake news. It was quite a sad day, was depressed all through, if I felt that way, how did the families feel then?

Yet days have passed and there has been no news of Ebony coming back to life nor assertions that it was not her who got killed in the accident.  I realise life is gold, life is precious.

It leaves us with lots of lessons to draw and infer. I hope  investigations  will be conducted  and we'll all know who left the heap of sand there as well as the necessary  actions taken where needed. Ghana my happy home!  Damn the allegations and controversies surrounding her death. It has been an opportunity for people to boast and pride themselves in the fact that their mums intercede on their behalves, whose mum doesn't? Shut up already! That's someone's baby we are referring to not your mum's baby.

There are no special people in the world if there were, years ago, a great man of God in this country lost his two beautiful rising daughters in a tragic road accident even though they had travelled by air and had to reach their final destination by road.  Those girls were special, tell me why they died then?

I did not know Ebony personally, I only knew her as the girl who showed so much flesh and had songs I could dance to. She obviously oozed sexual appeal amongst the male population, nothing new. The only time I had really listened to people I know talk about her was not even anything bad. The guys were intrigued by her way of dressing and very typical of men, they did not mind having her. She was a crush to most young men in this country.

Not someone to be bothered by her dressing. Why judge someone when I may have done my share of it and still do? I believe in letting people make their own mistakes and learn from them. Forty percent of my female friends are years younger than I am. I've been in that position countless times when they would either come telling me something or show up dressed inappropriately.  Do I tell them they are wrong? When you love people, you correct them in love. Sometimes letting them make their own mistakes and having them point them out to you themselves helps. I would never be able to draw them if all I did was criticise them at the least opportunity but pointing out their flaws is not a priority, what is, is to ensure that they reach their dreams and goals as well as not stray.

I always use myself as an example. I would say if you knew me during undergrad days in Legon, you would hate me. I wore weird and loud shades  of nail polish. Wore several toe rings and rings on my fingers. Wore anklets to go with it and definitely there had to be a bit of my flesh showing off. Please my mum took me along to buy my clothes, she made me choose them and she paid. Needless to say I dressed that way but was as innocent when it came to anything sexual. Sometimes appearances can be deceptive.  I just lived my life. Didn't I grow up in church? 

 Thank God for his saving grace. So given this backdrop, I'm not someone to judge someone by the way they dress. Except perform my fashion police duties in my mind and if their pantie line was drawn or something was off.

Today I've learned to cover up and I look at people who wear toe rings and anklets and smile.  No need telling them to stop, they'll stop when they want to. Life is in stages. We grow up every time and I was hoping Ebony would reach that stage too, so I never bothered with what she wore.

Finding Christ? No one is too young or too old to find Christ. If evangelism isn't backed with the Holy Spirit, we would win no souls at all. Our parents have a huge responsibility of bringing us up in a way that the awareness of a higher authority we submit to is imbibed in us. The best thing we can do for our children is to lead them to Christ. Yes some will drift away but it will be an albatross around your neck not to ever introduce your children to Christ as a parent. Yes and even if your parents never do, you still have the chance.

Everyone keeps talking about Ebony but have you given it a thought yet? She became a star in her youthful age. How old are you ? Are you a star yet? Have you lived your dream yet? Are you that doctor or dancer you said you would become? Are you writing a book? How many have you published and how many lives have you impacted? Can you even afford to take a risk?

The parents who keep judging. Okay, you are supposed to implore the Holy Spirit to build a hedge of protection around your children. Are you praying for your children? Or you are busy glorying in their achievements and neglecting the prayer bit? Are you interceding for them? Are you correcting them in love? Are you counselling them whilst cheering them on in the field of life? Are you standing in the gap for them?

Those of you  saying on social media, my mum stands in the gap for me and would never let this happen, my dad does too,  does God know you personally?  Are you working out your own salvation too or leaving it to your mums? Mums if you have a rising star, are you standing in the gap for them whilst they go out to pursue their dreams?

As a child of your parents, are you protecting yourself? Are you under a covering? Are you seeking God? Whatever it is you are seeking, seek it well. We all need God. We all need the grace of a finisher to reach our various dreams and destinations and be the ones to bury our parents not otherwise.

Are we loving enough?  Are we spending time feeding our souls as much as we spend time on our physical bodies, yes facials, pedicures and all? Remember, heaven is so real and death is cruel but an end for everyone .

While we mourn Ebony, stop the unnecessary speculations and judgements, leave God who gave her to us to do his work. Concentrate on working out your own salvation, let this draw you a step closer to your dreams and propel you to seek Christ if you do not know him yet. If you already do, concentrate on working out your salvation, leave someone's daughter alone!

Our hearts are definitely broken, God take care of yours and the families of those who died with you.

Even in death, your determination, style rare talent cannot be overlooked.

Forever in our hearts.
We'll miss you.
Sleep well Ebony!

Photo source  : Google  Photos  and  Marie Amoakwa  Boadu