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Monday 30 December 2019

IF YOU HAVE TO WALK AWAY

The most difficult thing to say is "goodbye" and one of the hardest things to do is to "walk away forever." Yet in this life, countless times we have to bid people who mean the world to us goodbye. Sometimes they walk out of our lives and break our hearts without intending to. At other times, they consciously walk out of our lives and either decide to bid us farewell or just wait for us to understand that yes, they walked out on us.

But one major lesson 2019 has taught me is that people don't always walk out on us, sometimes, we walk out on people as well. Yes, that's the most difficult part. When you decide to walk away because you either have to or it's just time to walk away.


Don't be afraid to start all over. Sometimes, you'll have to walk away to realise you bend the rules, were in the wrong place or were getting lesser than you deserve.

Which ever way, change is never easy. There are times you walk away and rather end up having to cry a river because yes that thing called change, is never easy.

As the year ends, I thought I would remind you that, change is never easy. You'll lose out, you'll cry, you'll be alone, you'll count the losses and wish you did not have to move on but remember, sometimes you have to lose at trying in order to win in trying. 

Love yourself enough to accommodate change. Allow yourself to be in that lonely position, count your losses to pick up the pieces again.

Change is good but never easy and in 2020, if you have to walk away, remember to love yourself enough to do so.




Season greetings dearies!


Saturday 30 November 2019

WHEN GOODBYE MEANS GOODNIGHT

Sometimes God doesn't let it happen because he knows it won't last
Sometimes God allows you to cry a bucket full because he doesn't want you crying a river tomorrow
Sometimes you lose at loving to avoid losing love
Sometimes it doesn't make sense instantly but you understand it when you see them in a box
When you can't fight them anymore for making you lose love
When you can't see them on social media or see new pictures of them to even find out how they are doing
Then you realise they had to exit your life at  that moment because at that moment life knew they would exit its stage on another day
Another day unknown to you when you would not have a chance to say goodbye
When goodbye was not meant to be forever
When goodbye was only meant to say 'have a good life'
Yet sometimes people say goodbye and goodbye becomes goodnight.






For my friend E, who went to be with the Lord and was put back to dust  today.
I miss you is an understatement.
Photo Source: Pinterest

Monday 11 November 2019

JUST MY THOUGHTS

This morning on my way to work, I saw scores of people gathered around the Dome Crossing area.
I paid no attention to the crowd as I assumed I knew the story already. Dome Crossing is a flood prone area I can confidently say without an explanation from disaster management experts. So I concluded after Sunday night's heavy downpour in parts of Accra, the floods at Dome would not be new to me.

I was wrong this time. Out of curiosity:  yes, just to add up to my gossip portfolio, I decided to find out what the problem was.



A 23-year-old young man had been electrocuted during the downpour while helping a group of young men salvage a kiosk which was being washed away by the floods.

Again, they managed to spoil my morning after staying home for over two weeks to begin work with such bad news.

Some men asked if I was going to see the body. I heard the gossip that said I was such a gossip. Instead of minding my business and going to work, I was poking my nose where it was not needed.
I however managed an interview but was too broken to take photos.

So I kept wondering all day, when will my country value the lives of its citizens by ensuring that the laws of our land are enforced regardless of the consequences? Just so that one day, we can save the lives of the very citizens who will sometime in the future become the pillars, foundations and leaders of Ghana?

On Saturday morning, while on my way to an event, I got chased by a policeman on a motorcycle from the Achimota forest area towards  Apenkwa.
He signalled me to stop, I pulled over and he demanded for my log book. I produced it, he then asked for my Drivers' licence. I was honest enough to let him know I was not carrying one. By now I had stopped talking and become a spectator as my brother who was in the passenger's seat dialogued with the policeman.

He then requested for an ID. I handed over my work ID and the policeman wanted just then for us to go to the Tesano Police Station.His reason, journalists always sit on air and insult the police for taking bribes among other things. He promised not to let me go incase I go back to discuss the police in the media space.

Just then I wondered what he would do if he found out I was the writer of the 'Coldhearted police and the civilian uprising.' I would be arraigned and prosecuted instantly then.
He eventually let me go. My point is if this police man was bent on ensuring I faced the full rigors of the law for driving an unregistered car with a DV number plate without a licence, why are people being allowed to reside in flood prone zones?

Why are people allowed to get connected illegally onto the national electricity such that these illegal connections can result in fatalities?
Why are rickety commercial  vehicles allowed to ply our roads daily endangering the lives of the children of Ama Ghana?

Why do people get away with all the wrongs and why do we have to lose such innocent lives due to a downpour?
Just my thoughts after being emotionally tortured on a Monday morning by the disturbing news of this young man.


Thursday 17 October 2019

WHEN PEOPLE MATTER!

Just saw some disturbing images of a mate on my UPS class page which distorted my sleep pattern and has kept me up rethinking some decisions I've made in the past.

As much as I've grown very patient with people I've become intolerant of certain behaviours and of people sometimes. I think these things come with growing up but really sometimes I've been hard on people and behaved inappropriately and unnecessarily.

I remember the first time I responded to some guy who thought he could bully me on my LLB class page. for the obvious reason. I had missed school a few weeks due to ill health and my class had contributed some money for me since they heard I was ill.

I returned to school and they handed over the envelope to me. Obviously they were planning to pay me a visit. I expressly told them I was grateful for the show of love but wanted them to keep the money for future purposes since I was back in school.

Some of my mates disagreed. They still wanted me to have the money since they were sure I had spent some money at the hospital and thought it was the least they could do as a class since they could not come to visit me.

I still turned down the money but woke up the following day to show my appreciation for the gesture on the class page. I also added my reason for not wanting to accept the donation laying emphasis on why we needed as a class to keep that money in our coffers for future purposes instead of giving it to me.

Well, I only knew him as the guy who drove the black Range Rover, but he obviously knew me more than I thought. He was the only one to respond negatively. He fanned the fire and started a fire on the page. According to him, I was such a disrespectful little girl. He said I was arrogant and had no respect for the elderly.

Interesting I thought! Didn't know when age became a criteria for expressing one's opinion on a class page. I set out to enquire what was arrogant about donating a contribution made for me by the class, back to the class. I disagreed with him and argued with him forever on the page. He would cease the opportunity to insult me and I wondered how someone I had never spoken to in my life would be filled with so much distaste for me.

I only stopped matching him when our other mates sent me private messages to ignore him and that's how I stopped replying as much as I wanted to, since he recruited some more guys to help him rant. My case would be heard in class the following week. I got some female support who thought his action was uncalled for and thought he was trying to merely bully me.

This was in first year and Mr Range Rover would forever remember me and refer to that incidence. I was no push around for anyone, male or female.

My friend, Sylvia and I have not been well behaved on our other school pages. It's hard when your allegiance is to a friend even when they mislead you and it's obvious (On this note, I'm ready to be slaughtered by her). I learned after these experiences to remain silent unless if necessary that I comment so I don't indulge in unnecessary banter.




I would deliberately boycott functions for one reason or the other (mostly very flimpsy).
But the real point of all of these alumni pages and groups is that we are there for each other through the bad and the good times. My UPS mates have been fantastic. From setting people up in business to visiting sick mates to funerals of deceased mates and setting up of funds for wards of deceased mates, recommendations etc.

You see, one of the reasons people would go to Yale isn't just for the world class tuition but also for networking purposes. Sometimes, law school or medical school cannot get you all of the things you need in life:  it's God working through the people around you, like the friends you keep and the network you build.
 
We all need people. Well, you'll need them to attend your wedding, christening, etc. You need people to help push your dreams sometimes. You need people to even critique your actions on the field of life. You need someone to tune into your show or the news and listen and perhaps. ... And if we need people then we must as well be the 'people' .

Sometimes, some of the people are self-centred. They want to be cheered on and supported but they will give none of those. Then sometimes we coil up and promise never to be their cheerleader again only to realise we all need people.
 
People to even carry your casket and attend your funeral. Can you carry your own casket? When we need people then we should learn to treat people well and be tolerant of them and learn to live with them no matter the circumstances. People matter!


Photo Source: Rosie Thomas Quotes

Monday 26 August 2019

Yesterday I Sat Beside A Handsome Boy

Yesterday I sat beside a boy
Yesterday I sat beside a handsome boy
I sat beside a boy
A boy who didn't know he was handsome
Caramel skin tone
Big brown eyes
Nice shoulders
Well-toned thighs and legs
His teeth as white as wool
He had a diastema
Yesterday I sat beside a boy

.
Yesterday I sat beside a boy
Yesterday I sat beside a handsome boy
Pink lips
His smell drawing me in like freshly brewed coffee
Tall
He was like a baobab tree
He was like T'challa in Black Panther
Courteous and lost in deep thoughts
Ignorant of how mother nature had taken time to mould him
A handsome boy
Yesterday I sat beside a boy
Mother nature's handiwork
He was oblivious of who he was
And how his looks affected the world
Mother nature took her time to mold every muscle of his
Yet he just sat there
Unaware he was handsome

Yesterday I sat beside a boy
Who didn't know he was handsome
And wondered why he didn't know
Yesterday I sat beside a handsome boy
I thought I would ask him
I thought I would tell him
Yesterday I sat beside a boy
A handsome boy
A boy who didn't know he was handsome
You're handsome, I thought I would tell him
But I enjoyed watching him so I would just tell others the story of how I sat by a handsome boy


.....Puppishgirl......
Photo Source: Pinterest

Monday 3 June 2019

YOUR

Your smell triggers my memory
Your smile shuts down my memory
Your tender eyes make me zone out.
And while I sit to talk to you,
I literally  hate me for letting you have such an effect on me,
And then it dawns on me that I just wrote a poem for this tune that my heartbeat is singing
Your smell triggers my memory
Your smile shuts down my memory
Your tender eyes make me zone out.
Your!

........Puppishgirl....

Photo source: Pinterest

Thursday 30 May 2019

WHO IS IT?


You promised never to leave me so I gave you my all
Who is it?
My very existence depended on every breath you took
My soul is wounded because you stabbed me in the heart while looking straight into my eyes
Who turned your heart so cold?
Who is it?


What happened to the promise of growing old together?
My love, my forever, my beybey was how you referred to me but now I’m only but a memory
Who is it?
Who could make you forget the vow you made to be my forever
Who is it?
Did you find what you didn’t find in me in him?
Who is it?


Is he my friend?
Is he my brother?
Is he a stranger I never knew existed?
Who is it?


I’m drowning in my own tears and chocking on words to express the pain
My heart bleeds
Who stole my heart and ripped it apart?
Who is it?


You killed the only thing I believed in, LOVE
And stole years of my young life
I set you free with a heavy heart but before you walk out the door forever
Tell me one thing...
Who is it?
By: Wadada
Guest writer
Inspired by Puppishgirl



Tuesday 28 May 2019

'I'M IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND' FEATURING GUEST WRITER WADADA

We’re colleagues at work
My first impression of her was, oh God! She looks snobbish.
I felt nothing for her.
She was just like any stranger you encounter and forget about as soon as you turn your back.
Little did I know the narrative will change
I’m in love with my friend.


As the clock ticked, a year passed, two passed and
 although I was witness to how other male colleagues salivated and lusted after her flesh whenever she walked by, I still felt indifferent as if my heart was built with a stone
But now, I’m in love with my friend.


I sometimes wondered what other men saw in her that I wasn’t seeing
Why are they all over her like a swarm of bees sucking on the nectar of a flower?
They must be really horny or a bunch of worldly homo-sapiens without any regard 
for God’s word - a principle I lived by.
Little did I know, I’m in love with my friend.


Friendship with her was an accident
Our first real encounter was at lunch break
We sat together on the same table facing each other, like what couples do on a real date
With no one at the eatery but the two of us, we spoke
I never noticed she had beautiful brown eyes until then
Her smile was the ultimate friend-maker, how could I resist it?
I found myself smiling when she giggled at my not so funny jokes – so I thought.


Though lunch lasted for just 30 minutes, it was the tastiest meal 
I had ever eaten in my life, sorry mum. 
Suddenly, boom! We’re friends.


Tick Tock Tick Tock!
 Now I see what the others see in her
I all of a sudden steal glances at her when she walks by
Oh God! I’m in love with my friend.


My heart skips a beat at her sight
How do I tell her I purposely make a fake phone call just to see her on the compound?
How do I tell her, I calculatedly go for lunch so I can steal more glances at her eating?
How do I tell her I purposely close from work just to watch her go home?
How do I tell her I can’t wait till morning to see her again?
How do I tell my friend I’m in love with her?


I know others are competing for her attention and the longer I wait, the lower my chances.
But how do I tell my friend, a mother of two, with a devoted husband, I’m in love with her?



By: Wadada
Inspired by: Puppishgirl’s THE DREAM PUSHERS, 'LEON'

Photo Source: Pinterest



So after I wrote 'The Dream Pushers, Leon' as part of the 'Scorned Woman Diaries', I got to read this and thought I would share. 
It's nice to know that while I write the 'Scorned Woman Diaries' the guys are getting interested
and sending their opinions as well as stories. If you haven't read it yet, it's time to read it!

WHAT I SHOULD BE.......

Yesterday, a guy in my office who I had resorted to stop showing my sweet side because he had been mistaking my niceness for something else by trying to touch me anytime he got the least opportunity, told me something after I gave him five minutes of my time while I waited for my laptop to be worked on.


He did not only cease the opportunity to apologise to me for his inappropriate behaviour towards me but also found it as  a perfect opportunity to school me on how I'm in the wrong career and how I'm wasting time by going to law school.


Initially, I found this line of conversation amusing until I let myself understand this guy properly.To him, I was wasting time waking up and going to work trying to earn a living and feel useful as a  beautiful woman and further wasting time by going to law school because according to him, he does not know what a woman of my calibere needs  a law degree for, if not for the mere funfair of parading myself about as a lawyer.


When I asked what he would prefer I'd rather be doing, his answer was a bit complex to understand till he finally did me a favour by breaking it down. Greg meant it when he said I was too beautiful to be stressing myself up by going to work and school. I did not deserve to go through the 'stress' when I could do the needful.

Greg's idea of the needful was taking beautiful photos and being on social media and you can imagine the rest.

I had to tell him I wake up daily to go 'gossip' and get paid because for me, it is not just for the money but mainly because I'm putting my skills to good use. If it was for the money, I'm sure I would be in some other field of career and not this particular one, but my ability to use my talent to translate into helping bring the news to the door step of the ordinary person, is what makes this thing fun and not exactly a job like he painted it.


I won't talk about being a lawyer because at this point, I was not willing to be explaining myself to anyone for my choices but rather, he made me realise how we as a people have come to embrace and celebrate people who wake up daily, take photos, post them on social media and slay all day, all month all year, not doing any particular business like being a stylist or the owner of a boutique or clothing line trying to showcase their design but rather, getting celebrated for flaunting their God-given assets.

Yes, we have come to celebrate the women who wake up to slay and make a living out of being slay queens at the neglect of women like me, who not because we lack those assets to flaunt but have chosen to go through life's mill in stages. Society chooses to ignore such people and would rather invest their time and resources in the women who can flaunt a bit of their assets and help them promote their causes, but not the causes of women like me who will go from office to office trying to convince people that some little girl in rural Ghana can barely read or speak English, thus we're craving their indulgence to help put sunshine into their lives.


Society would rather celebrate the woman who is slaying nude all day on social media and to make it worse, try to make it look like that's the way to go as a beautiful woman. Greg is not the only man who thinks every beautiful woman should be a 'sex tool'. There are several others like him who even think worse of beautiful women.

I remember my looks used to bother me by the time I was about 21 years. I had begun to understand the reality of a man's thoughts and the several shortfalls of being 'beautiful'. My sister and I would have this conversation and wonder why we weren't made just ordinary looking girls.Now I know God has a reason.

Today I have come to embrace who I am, the shortfalls, the misjudgments by society, the scorn of being an attractive woman among others which will certainly be a topic for another day.


Now I have come to understand that this thing called womanhood is no joke. Men expect you to live in a certain way, some men would rather you live according to the standards set by society but one thing is obvious, womanhood and being a beautiful woman is not about slaying nude to make a living.


Lately, I have had men specifically tell me, why they would want me, for what they think I'm trying to achieve, and obviously how they envisage me in God knows some years to come, and how useful I will be to their cause. You see, some men do appreciate the women who strive to achieve something using their brains rather than their bodies, both the genuine ones and the ones that think you will be a good financial cover going into the future.


So dear young woman, I don't know what it is you do and what your dreams are. I just came to tell you, let no man stop you from achieving those dreams. Let no 'slay queen nude agenda' cause you to neglect or abandon your dreams or pursuits. Also let not society's expectations of who you should be and what career paths you should tread cause you to think twice about genuinely working to make a living.



One day, the difference between the beautiful woman
some men would want you to be and the beautiful woman who isn't living according to those societal expectations will be determined.


Keep on!

 ..................Puppishgirl...........


Photo Source: Pinterest

Monday 27 May 2019

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: THE DREAM PUSHERS, 'LEON'


When I met Leon, we both knew we could never be together. I became his confidant while he was fleeing from the pressures of other women. We began to hang out because he felt I was the better option, with me he was safe....


Unfortunately one session of pleasure became addictive and we continued  till he left the country.
I realised something about Leon and all the other men I've dated.
Leon was the typical go-getter who pushed people in his life; girlfriend or bedmate to chase their dreams and ensured he supported the dream whether physically, financially or in any other way.


I've met men after Leon, who have not been supportive of my dreams. Not physically or in any other way. Not even when they had the resources to push my dreams. I realised that some men have their own agenda for being in your life.


They don't care about you, neither do they care about your happiness or how you turn out when they leave your life. All they care about is what they can benefit from you while they are in your life. In short, they are not helpers or dream pushers.

 Why should they push your dreams? They will take you nowhere neither will they benefit from your dreams- so they think. Some even help destroy or ruin your little empire, till you're left with nothing. Call them the destroyers...


However, Leon's type of men are the men who feel no matter who they find themselves with, they must add value to them and leave an impression. They don't care if they end up with you or not, they know how to take care of a woman and not leave her scorned.

Nothing hurts more than a man who comes into the life of a woman and leaves her sky with no stars but rather scars in her heart. If you cannot be supportive of her dreams, perhaps because she does not deserve it in your opinion, just don't help to ruin her empire. 


The men who leave you and when you have to feel scorned, you  can count more stars than that brief moment of feeling scorned, that you have absolutely no reason to feel scorned.
In choosing, would you men like a 'Leon'? Love hurts, love heals....


........Puppishgirl
Photo Source: Pinterest

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: DON'T LOSE YOU!


I'm sorry but I can't feel your broken-heartedness
And it bothers me how broken you look
I feel like you don't only deserve better but you're acting stupid right now..
Not because I don't know how it feels or what it entails.
 Not because I've never had one,
I must have forgotten how that feels though I know it hurts pretty bad.

 
You see, I realise  that only the person who is 'into me' and who 'loves me' can break my heart.
 Love hurts and love heals...
You should learn that too.


Scorned women plan a revenge
Scorned women lose their sweetness
Scorned women forget to take care of themselves before anyone else
Scorned women wear a green shoe and a nude one together
Scorned women go down quickly,
don't lose your sweetness for anyone.
Scorned women are the 'real' mad people in society because
they may look sane but act mad....

That's why I can't understand you
and your attitude ....
That's why I can't feel your pain....
Decide which woman you want to be!
If scorned, I only hope you don't lose you in the process.

........Puppishgirl
Photo Source: Pinterest

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN:GODDESS TOO MUCH


I used to wonder why she hated me,
It used to bother me why she could rally behind other women to fight me.
It used to feel weird,
until I got used to how it bothered me and it put an end to the bother .
Obviously, not everyone will like me but the disdain from my fellow woman almost made me uncomfortable. 


I only realised I bothered her and her Grey Womens' Movement, because I'm too much.
Too much inner strength..
Too much inner beauty ...
Too much of a lady..
Too much of  a 'mind your business woman'..
Too much love...
Too much talent....
Too much light...
Too much, too much, too much!


When I became fully in awe of my being too much,
I stopped stressing.
I'm unique because I'm too much of a woman.
My own fellow woman cannot stand me.
She can only make me feel weird.
When the reality is me, being too much.
And fully in awe of being too much,
I walk like a goddess .


I've become 'goddess too much'.
Now the scorn and wrath from my fellow women cannot pull me down .
Rather, I ride on the wings of their shortfall.
I walk tall,
knowing I'm different because I'm too much. Too much me...
Goddess too much


..................Puppishgirl..........


Photo Source: Pinterest

Friday 24 May 2019

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: SCORNED

Often, it is not the thought of your man being with another woman that hurts when you find out he's been cheating. It is that moment of asking what you did wrong or did not do and the time when you try to compare yourself to the other woman that hurts.


That's when if care isn't taken, you can lose your self esteem and worth as a woman. What does she look like? What does she do differently? Am I not woman enough? These and more can make you lose it.


Guys it isn't about you and which woman you choose to be with. It is about how we pick up the pieces. That's when she loses confidence if she doesn't handle it carefully.  No matter what, she does lose it for a split second.


Dear woman, I know it hurts. This too shall pass, it's just a phase if only you'll hold on and work on yourself.
The sun should shine again. If only you don't drown yourself in self pity and sorrow. Accept the reality of your situation. Clean your wounds and allow them to heal.


Learn to reintegrate into society.  Let the scars be proof of the strength you exude as a woman: you go down but not stay fallen forever.
Yes you can do this!


Photo Source: Pinterest

COURTEOUS PEOPLE SAY THANK YOU


There's this lesson I learned back in primary school at UPS that has stuck with me. 'Thank you, please, I'm sorry' the three basic things that must exist in the vocabulary of a courteous  person.
People pester others daily for something they want done. People go out of their way to do stuff for other people. At other times, out of love people decide to do favours for others and sometimes they are the big but minute or fiddling  things of life.

I still don't understand people who can't say 'thank you.' Not saying thank you is crass behaviour. The bible also entreats us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to always give thanks in everything.
Remember, people may not need a 'thank you' or demand for it but a 'thank you' makes you attractive, courteous and of course, next time people would still want to do you a favour.

Learn to say 'thank you' if you've not developed the attitude or habit of showing gratitude. I've come to understand that showing gratitude at all times even for the simple things is a habit that needs to be learned and acquired. Parents must on a daily basis inculcate in their children that habit of saying 'thank you.'

Courteous people say 'thank you' when they ask for the phone number of others and it is forwarded to them among other things. A person who can say thank you is an attractive person. It's crass behaviour to receive something and not murmur a thank you.

...so thank you for reading

.....Puppishgirl.....

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: PART-TIME GIRLFRIEND


I met Harry on the flight from Kumasi to Accra. I found him quite interesting but was shocked when he took my phone number promising to get in touch when we arrived in Accra.
He phoned me a week after we met and wanted to see me again. Oh well! It was a Friday night and I was freaking bored at home. I sent Harry my location via google map and he arrived in twenty minutes.


That night we ended up going home at 4am as we went round the city getting to know each other.
That was the beginning of 'us'. Harry asked me to be his girlfriend the following morning and I agreed instantly.


We were on for 18months and began planning our marriage when I woke up oneday to see pictures and videos of Harry all over Facebook. It was Harry's birthday and Ellen his girlfriend had thrown a surprise birthday party for him. I saw my Harry on his knees asking Ellen to be his wife with what sounded like a well rehearsed speech.

"If you asked me 6months ago whether I wanted to do this, I would say no. But today, I'm sure I want to do this and with no one but the beautiful Ellen." Amidst the cheers and applause, Ellen agreed. I zoned off. Just last night, I was with Harry. He slept at my place, I made him breakfast and he kept telling me how much he couldn't wait to make me his forever.
I never heard from Harry that day till the next morning.

I could not pretend hence I confronted him and Harry denied dating Ellen.  He said they were acting.
Dear Harry, I have seen the video a million times. I have cried and come to terms with it, I'm a part-time girlfriend whether or not I like it. That's what you made me but I refuse to accept this position.
I refuse!


Love hurts, love heals, part-time girlfriend or not, Harry wanted you to know you broke my heart. Yes you did! And that hurts...


.....Puppishgirl
Photo Source: Pinterest

DIARY OF A SCORNED WOMAN: SIDE CHICK

Hmmm Kwamena!


When Nelly introduced you to me at the party that night, all I saw was a perfect gentleman, the one I had been waiting for. We got on well, I felt like I had known you eight years like I knew Nelly. Your piercing eyes were the highlight of my thirty minutes spent with you that night.
I went to bed with those eyes staring in mine and I woke up craving to see those eyes again. I knew something was wrong initially when you wouldn't call me after 8pm or even text back. I dismissed the thought however with time as we started seeing each other.  You became the best thing that happened to me. You were there through the bad and the good while I flaunted you about as my man. You called me sunshine, God knows you were my huggy bear, my Mr fix it, my demigod.
I remember when I met your big sister, she was so warm and your younger sisters so welcoming. Your family loved me and by the seventh month, I just knew you were the one.
My reason for accepting to marry you, only to wake up one morning to a day that would change 'me' forever.


Ruth called saying she was your wife. That was quite confusing, I was lost for words. 'You got the wrong number' , I told her. 'Wrong number?  Aren't you Zoe? This is Kwamena's wife.' I did not get the chance to process the information. Ruth only wanted to plead with me to leave you alone. According to her, you barely stayed home and your 3 kids had not seen you in 6months and thus the call to ask me to release you for the sake of the children.
Still in disbelief Ruth sent photos of your wedding and children.
You still came to me that night and I ate from my sweet fold as you called it, you ate till the man in you could stand it no more. You promised to marry me before Christmas.  I never confronted you about Ruth. I only texted after you left my place to let you know it was time to move on.
Kwamena,  your Ruth keeps tormenting me even after 6weeks of not seeing you. She had me kidnapped for a week to school her on what I did to steal you away as according to her, you plan to divorce her.


Kwame, Ruth let another man eat from my sweetfold in the name of demonstrating how we dine on cloud nine with a gun to my head.
She had them beat me to a pulp with marks on my two cheeks which refuse to go away. Doctors say I'll need plastic surgery to correct it and  made me promise never to reach you again. Kwame, I have reported the incident to the police but how do I find Ruth? If only you had told me you were married to a certain Ruth with 3 kids, if only you had not told me you were single and had not led me on...
The marks on face remind me daily of how I lost my beauty over a man.


My heart is shattered as you have not bothered with an explanation. Your disappearance is proof of you being Ruth's husband.
Now I weep, not only because I lost you but I'm traumatised by Ruth's bitter lesson. I didn't know I was stealing you from anyone, it would have helped to know.
.........Puppishgirl


Photo Source: Pinterest

Friday 17 May 2019

HEARTBREAK RENTED A ROOM IN MY HOUSE

I walked shoulder high like nothing could tear me up
Not all the things people cried about
I stopped brooding over fiddling details
I stopped myself from crying when YD left and not a single tear have I cried for love after that time.
I heard I was cold as ice

But sweet
Cold as ice only showed up when I remained calm when circumstances required me to melt.
Yesterday 'heartbreak' visited my house
and forcefully  acquired a room after shock slapped me in the face.
Sleep has been my best companion for hours
Food has not tasted well in my mouth 

I've faked laughter and smiles just to make conversation
But deep within....
Hmmmmmmm
I hurt
My heart aches for the disappointment of yesterday
Heartbreak came to rent a room in my house....

I didn't ask the watch and owner of my house questions:  'why would you let this happen to me?'
Instead I chose to take it as one of the lessons I had to learn
How we make plans for tomorrow yet God decides which ones will hold.
Whether it is God letting me go through the mill or it's some other thing..\

Not the kind of tears you cry for a man..
The tears you cry when you are late to the wedding and your groom gets the chance to change his mind.
Not a tear for him but for the loss of what was yours and the many days lost in one hour.
I told myself, if only I could cry a bucket full it would numb this pain...
All I know is heartbreak rented a room in my house and packed it with delay, tears, shock and sadness.

Photo Source: Pinterest

Sunday 14 April 2019

PEOPLE WILL NOT ALWAYS TREAT YOU THE SAME

I remember it was my friend's birthday and I splashed photos of us on my Whatsapp status not in a bid for people to see what's going on in my life but rather as a symbol of celebrating my friend.

Then it was my turn and she barely did, yet would splash photos of others all over. Usually on her birthday, I tried to show up regardless rain or shine and try to plan a surprise for her. Yet on mine, she barely did anything for me. This had gone on for a few years and it would get to me but I would quickly dismiss the thought often, making up excuses for her until I learned one of life's minute but most important lessons. 'People will not always treat you the same way you treat them.' 

This is a fact of life and the earlier we begin to grasp and understand it, the easier life is for us. A few weeks ago, when it was international women's day, a colleague went on air to celebrate all the women he thought were strong in the house and left out some including me. This was someone who spoke to me almost every day, we hugged and pecked, name it (I did not even realise this until another colleague drew my attention) jokingly, 'the person who's always hugging and pecking you forgot to mention your name, it should tell you where you stand', he told me.

I smiled, my other colleague later came out of the studio apologising for leaving me out. He ended up paying for my pizza to appease me,  that same day. It reminded me again of one of life's minute but important lessons. 'People will not always treat you the same way you treat them.'

One of my friends used to brood over this inability to reciprocate 'niceness' till she spoke to me about it and I asked her to understand this principle.

Be nice to people no matter what. You want to be remembered as the girl who comes with sunshine. Sometimes I'm sitting with people a day to my birthday and I deem it unnecessary to let them know only because I have come to learn and appreciate that it is easy to love people when everyone loves them. Thus in life, one must learn to appreciate the people who stand with them when they are down.

Expecting too much from people is setting yourself up for disappointment.  I know someone who's always asking to borrow my car but will never pick up a phone to find out if I'm okay. They care about my car, not me.

People will not always treat you the same way you treat them. You either choose to ignore how they treat you, and maintain them in your lives or completely ignore them.

Whichever way, I would rather you choose to live how you wish to be remembered; as the woman who brings sunshine or the man who brings tears. How would you want to be remembered?

Photo Source:  Lilly

Thursday 7 March 2019

YOU'LL NEED YOUR PASSION!


This afternoon, while some of my colleagues and I were sitting and talking over Adabraka waakye, we discussed the  difficulties of our job as a team and laughed about the few times people had come aboard the team and felt the need to quit a few days after they began in their new role.

I raised a point which my colleagues seemed to have seconded. "On this journey, you need to have fallen in love with what you do to want to wake up and go to work, you should be passionate about it."

David and Manuel both seemed to agree and confirmed that passion was what drove them to this point.It inspired me to put this piece together because I mentioned it to them that  I had been planning to do a write up on it.

When I left Legon, I worked in various positions in different organisations. Some I liked others felt like a chore and at other times, I only kept going because I did not want to stay home unemployed.

Oh I even started a business that helped me enhance my accounts' status to a point I would ordinarily never have gotten to and then I even discovered on that same journey that I would let other children experience the joy of reading as a child since I grew up living my life in books like Malory Towers, The Twins at St. Claires, Famous Five, Secret Seven, just name them. So I started my 'Cuties Readerfeast' but not without challenges.

Starting something for  children required a lot of drive and I only kept at it despite the challenges because I loved seeing the children smile, it felt like I had put some sunshine in their lives. I was not playing 'god', no but it felt good to be able to help a child.

I remember how much I wanted a job in the financial  sector and found one only to quit after a couple of months. I hated having to calculate FD rates, loan interest rates etc. Explaining the same products over and over again to clients and still keeping your cool when they could not even grasp an explanation on a product was not fun. Eventually realised I was not cut out for it, I took a bow graciously.

I also remember when I finished SHS, I really wanted to go to journalism school. I grew up writing fiction right from age 10, mostly writing down my Girl Guides camping experiences into fiction and being forced to put my imagination to work because Aunty Tina, the librarian thought my coming to the library twice a day to change my book meant I barely read them. Today I thank her for forcing that creativity out of me as she asked me to write whatever I read down instead of coming to change my book twice ( another story for another day).


Unfortunately, my mum said I could not go to journalism school because I had to go to the university and no child of hers was going to skip uni for journalism school. Yes, it was the era where Universities in Ghana did not have an undergraduate degree programme in journalism obviously GIJ did, but you know a mother who's bent on that 'Uni' philosophy, wouldn't compromise on less.


I think my mum had some regrets years on for imposing her wish on me but ideally, parents should also identify these skills and aid their wards to hone them, instead of making them throw those skills away completely.


My friend's big sister, Bernice, told her dad right after SHS that all she wanted to do was to fix people's hair and make sure they looked good for any occasion. We (observers from afar, including friends) must have thought then that her dad was nuts for letting her venture into her dream profession at such a young age. She went to a beauty academy to polish up her hobby and further develop her skills.  Her dad built a chain of shops infront of their house and allotted her one for that purpose. She had been braiding all her sisters hair since childhood and today, she still does that with a minimum of seven workers each time I've been there.  She says there is nothing else she would have loved to do better than what she does now.  She said it back then too, to  the point she would even phone to remind you to come and braid your hair and  it was virtually for free. Well, now not anymore.  


Years on, aside my chosen field of endeavour which has taken years to reach, my other skill, the one that my family took for granted and would not let me hone, all those stuff I wrote as a child that they trashed in the name of trash is what I find myself doing.


Also, I've been in jobs where I had to struggle to make an appearance and gave various explanations for not having to show up or hold on to it but have come to realise that, when you have the passion for something, it drives you to keep going even amidst the difficulties.


It brings to mind the many times I've heard people speak about what they do, like their jobs, or their fields of study. In counselling  younger people, on which field of career to venture into or what area of study to opt for, now I've come to encourage people to hone their skills in areas where they already are passionate about, such as a hobby, like assembling and disassembling things, painting, caring for people when they are ill, coaching etc.

I also encourage parents to begin right down from childhood, to identify the interests of their wards especially areas that they seem to be excelling in and encourage their wards to hone their skills.


Someone keeps going to that hospital only because they would rather attend to patients no matter how much it takes them away from people who mean the world to them, than fly a plane.


Sometimes all we need is that passion, to keep going.  I've felt like throwing in the towel sometimes in my current field of study. People who have been through it, know how crazy it can get. You become a slave to it, you lose touch with the world. There have been nights and days I've cried at the sight of the incomplete reading I have to do and how sometimes I just get completely lost but that thing, called the love for it, for whatever reason, keeps me going.


Are you pursuing your passion? What are you passionate about? Are you honing that skill? Remember when it gets tough, your passion can become your only option. Most of the world's greatest people are people who have risked venturing into areas where others saw no light yet their passion built them great brands.


I'm sure you know people just like I do, who have set their acquired or learned  skills aside to pursue the very things they abandoned because they thought they were hobbies or nothing to be taken to another level, like sewing, cooking, singing dancing and many more only to go back to them when they did not find fulfillment in what they found themselves doing in life. 


It is worth noting that, the only way you can discover what works for you sometimes, is to explore. However, there are times when the seasons of life will not permit us to explore because unfortunately, some people even at age 50, have still not found their purpose in life due to a lack of passion. If parents identified at an early stage the potentials in their children and  allowed their children to  hone those skills, there would be no need for unnecessary exploration. 


Now it's time to  pursue your passion. Remember, it will keep you going even if it doesn't pay much. It will save you from unnecessary stress and depression among other things.





Photo Source: Google photos