Today, I share my top lessons of the year.
One major lesson I learned this year is that you must give people space and time to grieve and heal.
This lesson was learned the hard way though. Usually when I learned people were going through a particular situation, I would reach out to them and if they didn't pick the call, I would text them just to let them know my thoughts and prayers were with them. Some would take a while to respond while others would never respond until that phase was over for them.
I must have thought they didn't want to respond but I've come to understand that people need space and time to heal.
In 2020, there've been moments I've cherished my space than answering calls or texting back. Somethings are better worked out alone. Grieve your loss alone, endure your pain alone - so you can't just be bothered about who wants to talk to you or not. People in those times look out for their best interests first before others. Learn to leave them alone. It doesn't mean they don't value you as a person or the effort you put in to reach them. It is just appropriate to bear their pain alone in that moment and you can only be there for them by respecting their privacy.
Another significant lesson I learned was how to bear your cross without grumbling. What a shock it was to have woken up to the sudden demise of actor Chadwick Boseman. I learned from that experience to fight your battles in silence and not tell the world except those who matter- of cause, (family, who you're sure have your back). I've lived each day fighting my battles silently. The world does not need to know what fights you, you only arouse pity-that's where it ends, the world cannot resolve your problems for you. There are certain funerals we attend out of pity and not because we loved the dead while they were here . Be selective in sharing your problems with people. I know out of frustration, you might be tempted to tell everyone your story, but listen, you won't be down forever- it's better to hold on to it.
Again, live your dreams while you're still alive. Live it t the fullest.Chadwick lived and lived till his last moments. What's your excuse for not becoming a dancer or DJ? Remember, you're still in the race until you reach your finish line. Don't let that challenge or disability get in your way.
Also, learn to understand when people say no. People are fighting different and silent battles. Battles they cannot explain or disclose to you. When they sit at one spot, they have a reason for choosing to sit there. Don't ask them to move to the next spot for your sake. Accept people's decision. Our bodies are different-perhaps you can jog all the way from Oyarifa to Aburi, I may not be able to jog but rather, walk. In summary, don't push people to bend their rules for you, you don't know their situation or condition.
Who ever envisaged 2020 would be a year of having to doll up in masks and observe social distancing? Who ever thought your loved ones could be ill in the hospital, yet, you could not visit or be there to take care of them because of COVID? Who ever imagined billions would die from a certain virus?
You're still here, isn't that something to be happy about? Forget the goals you set but could not achieve, try again in the new year. Those in the grave cannot get the chance to try again, you can. Strength and comfort to those who lost loved ones in 2020. Let 2020 guide your new year- may it propel you to chase and live your dreams to the fullest you can.
Happy 2021!
Photo Source: Google Photos
