These past few days, I've read with so much interest people's achievements in 2017 and resolutions for 2018. From I did this and that to I thank God for this and that to what they would do differently this new year: 'I'm not tolerating friends who....' and the list is endless.
I remember how 2017 began. My year had never began better: a glorious time in God's presence. I may not have understood it then but as 2017 unfolded, I began to understand the very few days spent in the beginning just waiting in his presence.
I'm not someone who would count my blessings openly: my God knows why and he understands the importance of not jumping ahead of him so I sum it all up in one phrase: ' Answered Prayers.' I learned that he makes all things beautiful in his very own time even when before the eyes of man, it is deemed really late.
My regrets: I was a committed member of the Answer Communications team. Using my little piece of writing to spread God's word, and push the vision of his servant in his kingdom. However, in the latter part, I made it look like the church needed me whilst I perused my dreams. I deserted my role as a church worker.
As a youth executive, during the latter part, I did not contribute much. I was rather interested in sending my substance and I must have gotten it all wrong. I was sworn into office to promote God's work amongst the youth, I became a dormant executive.
I joined the instrumentalists at church hoping to play for the 'Rubies' once I became perfect. With my piano background from my childhood days it was not a struggle to fit in. My tutor was impressed, I dedicated hours after service each Sunday practising on the keyboard. I was zealous about it and all was going well till the semester started to weigh me down.
I had less sleep and was always on the go. I looked stressed, everyone around me said. This was the semester I nearly quit. I would cry secretly and ask myself why I had gotten into this in the first place. People may not understand but with time, the R...... and R........ kept me away from church on Sunday mornings. I would sleep instead of getting out of bed.
Forget it if you invited me to go to any event. I wouldn't show up. I would never text or call back for weeks. I lost friends. God knows.....I didn't have a social life. I lost touch with the world. Friday nights out was the least on my priority list, I was mostly exhausted and needed to get enough sleep( which I never got) to face my Saturday.
People thought I was arrogant.They invested time trying to reach me and all I did was act like an ass. Forgive me! It has been a long haul. The very little time I had, I would try to invest in two or so people. Apparently, they would take it for granted too because they did not know it was such a sacrifice on my part. My friend Rina couldn't understand me either. She would lash out at me especially because I wouldn't show up for service or even perform my duties in God's house. We would bicker for days. On the other hand, Miss Mortson was not perturbed. She knew I didn't get in touch often because I was busy.
If you are really close to me, then you understand what 'housegirl' duties mean. This latter part, I could not cook for my mum or clean for her. When the laundry woman falls ill, I'm uncomfortable, I really did not have time to enjoy life like people do. I spent less time with my family neither did I talk to them much.
I look back and my regrets are of the things I started beautifully especially in the house of God and deserted. In 2018, I go back to my keyboard. I can't sing but I can play for them to sing, why must I be lazy?
I can't talk but I can write. Why did I neglect my duty in the communication team? No matter how tired I am, I must show up for service on Sundays, I don't have an excuse.
Sometimes, the very things we ask God for, keep us away from him. People without children ask God for a child. He blesses them with one and they spend their entire time at home taking care of the child and stop attending church. What if God decides to take away that child?
In 2018, remember your blessings are not meant to stop you from serving God but rather they are meant to make you serve God in comfort so that others can see and draw nearer to him. As we get a chance at a new beginning this new year, let's learn the truth in being blessed by God: so others may enjoy that blessing too.
Happy New Beginning 2018!
