These past few days, I've followed the stories of my little sisters alleged to have taken their own lives with sadness. What on earth will push such young, beautiful and intelligent girls to do such a thing if this allegation is true at all(since all three cases are under investigation). Depression stemming from failed relationships and rejection? A huge secret, academic non performance? Loneliness? Damaged reputation, name it.
Oh little sisters, when I was your age, trust me I couldn't tell what a heartbreak felt like. I remember being in 307 just beneath 407 where one of you is alleged to have fallen from. It was a room where the girls discussed relationship issues constantly. We shared our experiences whilst the level 100 girls looked on quietly. I heard stories of heartbreaks and remember following a roommate to her boyfriend's place only to find out later that he was with another girl. They eventually got married. Tears flowed, there were worried looks on faces, depressing and heartbreaking moments, but we talked about it like a family. Similarly, we shared our academic achievements and failures.
What happened to sharing how you feel with someone? I may have become such a private person now that I'm a grown woman. I would not speak about me to you unless you are a friend I hold in high esteem and you have proven you do too. Yes, it's that bad that I'm friends with people who know nothing about how I'm feeling at a particular time. I guess there are other young women like me too but everyone has someone they can bare their soul to when they cannot take it anymore. Telling it to someone you have confidence in can help you see clearer when it looks dark. You could get some free shrink services if not from a professional.
What happened to all they taught us in Sunday School when we were kids? Taking your own life may seem a better option when you are overwhelmed but it is sin. What happened to telling someone what it is you were planning to do? Do you know you can always find a sweeter man if you stayed alive and realize the one you were ready to kill for was not even worth a tear? What about our big sisters who've had ten men jilt them even at age forty and sometimes at the alter? Have they given up yet? No they are still trying.
What happened to another or a second chance? Ever heard people begin a first degree at age thirty nine? I know how it feels when you really want something but can't get it at that time. Your world looks crumpled. You only see dark days and death seems more appealing. I recall how I missed out on law school years ago and how I thought I had no reason to keep living. How a boy let me down in my moment of distress. I lost weight, got depressed and had considered death a better option. Eventually, I sought help and with time I learned to view my situation better. So now you know, that every once in a while, we all go through very dark days and wish we will just die but life always presents us with another chance. Only if we do not yield to our depressions to take grave irreversible actions in our low moments, there will be another chance. It may be so late according to your time and man's timing, but perfect according to God's timing.
Oh little sisters! You should have sought counsel from big sister.
You should have told a friend or a relative about your thoughts and plans. You should have gone to your God to bare your soul. I'm sad but you could have done anything than take your own lives. What made you think you could not begin over again? If you did it for any man or woman, where are they now? They obviously have no idea how depressed you were. If you thought you had disappointed them, or they had been the ones to disappoint you. Sometimes people hurt others without knowing it. At other times, it's their choice to do so but you should never stop living due to their actions. Now that you left this world, how do you prove to him or to the skeptics that it can get better? Taking your own life only arouses pity, attracts a huge gathering at your farewell service, lots of loose talk from people who view you as a coward apparently because it is easier to judge from afar until you find yourself in the same shoes.
Young people should be encouraged to talk about what they are going through openly without being judged. Our counseling units should be reinforced. That counseling unit on Legon campus seems empty, people should give them a job to do by going in there to seek some therapy. Mental health access and delivery should be free if there can be free Senior High School, we can save some lives as well. Conditions of service for such workers should be over the roof and more of such facilities put up to facilitate mental health delivery and easy access. I still believe in letting people know what your problem is without any form of discrimination. Was my little sister's mental health condition made known to the hall tutor? If it was, she could have been given a room in the main hall: downstairs or even if it were upstairs, she would have only been injured and battling for her life by now instead of having us prepare for a farewell service.
Finally, I still believe that we can love and cherish ourselves above any other thing and never want to end it no matter how ugly it may look or feel at a particular time. I know how shitty people and situations can make you feel but they aren't God. Let us teach our younger generation to put themselves under a covering: I believe in being religious at this point. Christianity doesn't permit one to take his own life. Let our churches begin to preach these messages constantly and open their doors to building and repairing lives instead of the fundraising and prophetic services. They should rather engage in healing services to heal wounded souls, scarred hearts and bruised minds. We all have a role to play, yes we can!
To my little sisters gone before us: I'm saddened by your demise, sorry it had to end this way. To their families: our deepest condolences.
To a little sister contemplating the same action, please don't do it. It can only get better once you are still alive. Be a hero in the fight: a living dog is better than a dead lion. It can get better if only you hold on. In death there will be no more sunshine. To see the sun shine again, you should be alive. Let your actions in your low moments push you to keep fighting in life's battle like a hero. Never letting the coward in you show up under any circumstances. It will get better if only you hang in there.
Photo Source: Google Photos
