A Knife Through My Heart

'Sad, depressed, burdened
Broken, tears unlimited, torture
A knife through my heart'

I was on my way home from church a few hours ago when this little voice kept calling me:'madam, madam.' I turned to find a little girl behind me. 'Good evening madam' I did not know what to expect so I just responded:'Good evening, how are you? ' 'Please can I follow you home to live with you?' I was lost for words but still managed to ask 'why would you want to follow me home?' 'Because I know you can help me.'  Eeeii I thought to myself. A girl in dirty clothes looking up to me to assist her. Finally, the witches in my village have visited me and decided to do it on my way from church. Yes, after church. I thought to myself....just a joke though...Hahahahah.  I wondered why of all the people she had met today, she chose me as the right person to take her home.  That's blood cuddling I thought taking a good look at the little girl who stood before me.

I could not comprehend what was happening but after a while I regained my composure. I wanted some answers. What had happened to her own home? According to her, she lived with her cousins but they had been ejected by their landlord and the cousins had asked her to wait for them because they were going to check something but they never returned.  It's been two weeks and she's had no place to sleep but in the market.

Where were her parents?  She said she was an orphan. After talking with her I had heard stories of a guy attempting to rape her, how she was labelled a witch and how she could not take me to their old house because no one wanted to see her face in the neighbourhood. 

The stories did not fit in at all and her unwillingness to co-operate with me baffled my mind. First thing that came to mind; take her to the police yet I didn't.  She looked tired and hungry.  I offered to pay for her meal but  she declined saying she needed a place to stay the night and beyond. I guess accommodation was first on her scale of preference. Yes because apparently all she had eaten was fifty pesewas roasted plantain all day. She looked so innocent but she was not willing to take me to her old house. How then would I know that this so called fourteen year old who looked like a ten year old was being truthful.

My neighbour was willing to accommodate her but was not ready to go to the police.  He finally left her to go to town. Lots of people had spoken to her yet no one wanted to go to the police. I even heard that in my absence, a certain man; man of God he claims pronounced her possessed.  I sought legal advice before taking any action. In the end since no one was willing to go with me to the police, and I could not predict the little girls actions if she had to narrate her story to the police, Human beings are funny.So though I really wanted to help this little soul, I did not.  No one was willing to help her too. They all wanted me to be the one to take her to the Police Station.

I sat with her to have a drink.  This time she accepted my offer.  I explained to her that she would  have to go back to the market to sleep  just for another night and return early tomorrow morning so I can see how best to assist her. I gave her money to last her for three days, I'm sure and told her to have a good meal tomorrow.  James looked on as I struggled to part with this girl. I did not want to let her go but everyone said it was for the best. As I watched her leave, my heart tore to pieces. I began to cry. The pain of watching this little girl go and spend the night in some unknown place. As I cried, my friend tried to console me. Why did her cousins let her go? Why are people so mean sometimes. Possessed or not, what happened to deliverance and all. Why the discrimination because a young girl decided to have a voice by exposing a wanna be rapist?

I just wished this was happening somewhere in Africa because I know a man who loves the rejected, possessed or not. He would make them his responsibility.

Here I am, saddened, depressed, broken. I can't sleep knowing that little girl is out there, no bed, no shelter, nothing.  Burdened with the responsibility of what her fate would be tomorrow.  I'm feeling shitty. I would probably cry all night knowing I could have helped her but did  not. I'm in for the long haul.

Blessing, I'm sorry I couldn't be of help. Where ever you are,  my heart and thoughts are with you. I'm praying and believing God to see you through the night and if he can use me to salvage your situation, may tomorrow guide and lead me to you.  If not, may he bring that one angel to remedy the situation.  Today, you taught me another lesson and made me discover something else about me.

I won't forgive myself if something should happen to you.  May God command his angels concerning you and heal a broken me.
Hoping you would be safe!