'Safe in your arms
Sheltered from harm
How great is your goodness ....
Hidden away
Hidden from harm
How great your love...'
Randy Rothwell' s song above fits how I'm feeling.
Tonight, I'm just wondering who am I? That God carries and loves me so much.
His love for me is beyond description. It is not like the love of some guy who loves me today and doesn't love me tomorrow. It is not like the love of some guy who gets mad at me for one mistake I made and never wants to see or speak with me again. His love for me is unconditional.
His love is not like that of those who choose who to love, he doesn't fail neither does he disappoint.
On Wednesday night, Iasked that he carry me. I did not know that a few days after that, I would go through a test of who carries me. Tonight, I can confidently say the God of Abraham, Jacob and Isaac carries me. The woman with the issue of blood believed in touching just the hem of his garment to put an end to twelve long years of suffering.
At 3am today, it started as a joke. I was calm and collected as well as optimistic. An hour later, I knew I was in for a long haul but my conviction held me. If I'm being carried, he who carries my burden must deal with it not me. After two hours, I had prayed and prayed. I had worshipped and just appreciated him for what he was about to do but it didn't happen for what seemed like hours.
I cried. I prayed. I screamed. I was inconsolable. Five long hours of distress. Five long hours, unable to sit or lay down. Five long hours of screaming, pain, torture. I had tried everything. Nothing seemed to be working. Sweating, panting, pacing back and forth, tears flowed like a waterfall as I waited to be taken into emergency. It didn't matter how many needles or knives they would use. I just wanted to be fine again.
Quarter bag out. Half and then one full. Finally over a bag. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I, that you carried me all day and saw me through? Your love is amazing. I'm lost for words. All I can say is thank you Lord for seeing me through 16th May, 2015. Thank you. I lived for the moment.All of me says thank you.
Thanks to everyone who has stood by me from 3am till now. For all the prayers, love and support. God is indeed ahead.
I appreciate all the love.
You will never understand my praise.
ReplyDeleteYou will never understand why I make so much noise about it.
You will not appreciate the God I serve till you have walked a mile in my shoes.
Till you have been through the pain.
So I just stare at people who talk gibberish.
You don't know how desperate you need that healing till you are there. It is easier to access it when you are not in that shoe yet, but once you get into it, you begin to understand people better. Teach me not to judge anyone on such sensitive issues.