Dance With The Sun

Dance with the sun

I can feel my heart giving me warning signals
I can feel my brains dictating to me to wake up
I feel my body aching and yearning to heal from this torture.

My heart is failing me
as I cannot stop it from the pain it feels at parting with the sun that rose on my world
Glorious moments; glorious sun!

My heart continues to beat for the sun
I'm hating me as of now,
Hating me in the midst of deceit; backstabbing and hurt.
My heart can still beat for the sun though my brain has not been completely shut out.
I have refused to just think
Perhaps too many situations and events encompassing,are reminiscent of the sun.

Thoughts of the long talks about nothing important
Memories of the shared sweet kisses
The lingering attraction that seemingly drew us close for reasons i still cannot spell out;
the awkward moments when either of us were mad at the other;
the realization that one was hurting;
the weird and uneasy feeling of seeing or knowing that one was upset.
The times when we apologised not because we were wrong but because of the value we each placed on the bond that we shared.
The melting moments when you gazed at me and i lost all mental functioning.
The little things;the hugs;the pecks;holding out the door.

Tears well up
Tears of joy
Joy that I had;
the best time of my life;
the bestdays.
Tears of remorse
that I had gotten so obsessed and lost myself in the glorious days and warmth of the sun only to have my heart crushed.
Regret that inspite of it all, I found not the strength to leave it all behind.
The hurt and suffering of aching and longing for the sun.

I hate myself
I hate myself that it has taken forever to mend the pieces.
I hate myself that i claim to have moved ahead yet reminisce on the glorious days with the sun.
All the pain and hurt have melted;
healed but stuck.

I hate the sun right now
I hate the sun
The effects it had on me has left chains on every wrist of mine.
My legs are free
My wrists feel chained
I hate the sun not for my dance with him but for the effects the dance had on me!

Lasting effects
A favourite novel; turned the most hated novel.
A longing to read that novel again amidst all the speculations;its imperfect pages; knowing that someone might have read it after me.
Truly insane,a dance with the sun!

That dance refuses to be flushed out of my memory,
how then do I free myself
break the chains off my wrists
Oh what a dance!
The sun!
How saddening to have danced with the sun and have it go down on me.