YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND!

The other day, as a prelude to my birthday, I started sharing with you my lessons over the past three decades.

I couldn't share more after that because I have been busy engaging my internet service provider in a banter but I'm back to share my thoughts.

So here's another major lesson.

"Find God."
Find your God, on this journey, you will need him. You will need him in good times and bad times. You will need him through the storm and through the day.

I make finding your God  part of your life's journey because I have come to learn that we all need God in our lives.  Whatever your religious belief. I reiterate, I'm a christian.

I have lost so many loved ones on this journey, at their farewell services, one phrase has cut across; "We know you are in a better place." At times it was "God be with you till we meet again" the other one that baffles my mind is the "We love you but God loves you most" then "We know you are in heaven smiling down on us."

Look, no matter what you do, you shan't live here on earth forever. All these farewell messages point to God. I'm yet to attend a funeral where they virtually do not mention God. So if in death, you are expected to be with God, how do you be with someone who is a complete stranger to you? Find your God while you are here. Develop a relationship with him now, so that when your loved ones bid you farewell, and hope you indeed have gone to be with God, that would be the case.

Growing up in a Christian home, we started so well, along the line, life's escapades stole us away and we drifted but thank God for grace.

Because you don't know when you will need God, you had better find him early. Find him in these times of the pandemic when nations are seeking and finding him. Don't just live.. find God!

Another lesson is to be in awe that "people will not treat you the same way you treat them, treat them well any way."
So I remember years ago, when I applied for an online Proofreading job for non English speakers. I had arranged with a friend, one who was constantly propelling me to chase my other dreams. We would spend hours talking about how to reach those dreams, we got along because we shared similar talents. He was going to be on standby during the exam which was online, and where I needed help, he would text me the answer.

In the middle of  the exam, I got confused or so and contacted him. His response, "I'm sorry this is an exam for you, I can't help." In the middle of the paper, wow, I thought. I quickly phoned my friend Rina.  I wasn't even sure she would pick my call as she had a busy job because firstly, she was the one I was going to make that arrangement with, I didn't involve her because of her busy job.  Note that, I had no previous arrangements with Rina, but she picked up.  I only told her I was confused about something I was working on and the answer to choose. She endorsed my chosen answer. It was snappy and that was it.

When the exam was over was when I had the chance to think about what had just happened. A friend I had arranged with had backed out in the middle of the paper. He never gave me an explanation for his behaviour-I never asked. I moved on with our friendship.

I told another friend about it, I actually did not understand why he would pull out without an explanation in the middle, knowing how much I wanted that job and he reiterated that lesson to me. "People will not always have your back like you do theirs so you should learn to be independent."

Again, sometime late last year, I was applying for a course and needed to write a personal essay. I put it together and again fell on this same friend since he is in academia and was in  a better position to tell me whether the essay made sense or not.  He wanted to know whether it was for my Masters etc... You know the prying questions people ask when they want to know what you are up to. Unfortunately, I have become too private a person, it's a privilege knowing what I'm up to. I did not expect that he would be of help. I had sent it to some other people awaiting their response and he was one of those, although I was open to disappointment from him in particular, yes I was. I'm sorry but I couldn't help it. All the others got back to me.

I was right. He came back to say he had lectures all day and needed to teach so he would get back to me later. I heard from him later endorsing exactly what I had written. No editing. By then I had  already submitted my application  Months on, your guess is as good as mine.

While on this journey, you are your biggest cheerleader, and most reliable friend. People will fall back on their words with no explanation. They would still want to be considered friends and still ask for favours when they know you can help them but they won't be there for you. So you are either in with them or you are out.

Another major lesson for me has been "Don't tell people your business secrets, ideas or plans."  My friend, Ama(not her real name though) called me up one afternoon asking to partner with me on a project I was embarking on. She sounded genuine, according to her, she had the urge to start something and would want to partner with me instead. I was not selfish. I shared my ideas with her and the challenges of what she so wanted to venture into. She asked questions where she was unclear. Days on, she came back asking for the name of my project. That was the last time she spoke to me about that particular project. The next time I realised, she was on social media, didn't have the creativity to choose her own name, she had to steal a part of mine. Copied exactly everything in the pictures I sent her from costume to everything and she owned it for herself. Thankfully, I never told her about my goals and reasons for starting that project. I did not tell her about my methodology for executing the project, my long and short term goal  and those would later become the deal breaker for me.

Stop sharing your ideas with people who disguise themselves as aspiring shareholders or partners, whatever... Until there has been some sort of a 'Contract' binding you both, where you can sue for breaches in future if you have to. Don't share your ideas with people based on trust. You don't owe anyone! You are your own best friend!

Will be back to share my other lessons till then, don't forget to stay home if you can.

Well if you live in Ghana, you don't have a choice. Wash your hands often with soap under running water, cover your mouth with a tissue when you cough and dispose it off immediately. Sanitize your hands and of course, avoid touching your face....

Find something worth doing with your time during the lockdown so you don't die of boredom.




Photo Source: Google Photos