I have always maintained this stance and I would again. Sometimes people do not deserve another chance with the same people. I have come to learn one thing about people who profess change, they either do for a reason or are truly remorseful.
When they indeed are remorseful, another chance to them means a chance to right the wrongs they did to you. But when it's for a reason, another chance means:a perfect opportunity to hit you where it hurts the most.
Two of my friends got married in September after they both decided to give each other another chance though one had cheated on the other: a happy ending for two seemingly remorseful people.
Today, a friend at school told me the story of a colleague from work . She had dated this guy for a while, broken up with him and months on, they had come back showing signs of remorse and professing change. However, six months into the relationship, the girl found out there was another woman. Several years older, wealthier and with kids: a single mother.
Obviously, most men are unable to keep two women and not arouse suspicions from the one who thinks her man was a loyal lover.
After learning about the other woman, she decided to put him to the test, asking for a little break. A little break resulted in cutting off all modes of communication: The guy had not even bothered to call or ask why the sudden demand for a break in the relationship.
He just accepted the suggestion, to the amazement of the lady. The most .Shocking part is he had the guts to officially make his relationship with the other woman public without wasting much time.
All attempts on the girl's part to speak with the guy failed. So I asked my friend, “why test people when you already know they would fail?” This raises the question as to whether this lady really meant anything to the guy. His behavior clearly showed that he was obviously waiting for an opportunity to let her go or his comeback had been for a few moments of bliss.
Every other day, we hear different stories of how people abuse the 'another chance' privilege given them by the people they betrayed .It happens in business relationships, marriages, friendships, families just to mention a few. Who are you giving another chance to? Do they deserve it? How would you know if you do not give them another chance? How would you know?
After all, the good book entreats us to forgive those who offend us seventy times seven times(. 70x7) Wow! It's okay to forgive them when you find out they have betrayed you. In my opinion forgive them and move on lest you lose yourself in the process.
Forgive, learn, move on and live again. We meet people who are sometimes so paranoid, bitter, violent, rude, stingy... We never bother to look into their backgrounds or past. We end up judging them even before having a chance to find out why they behave the way they do.
Next time you decide to judge a paranoid partner, give yourself a chance to learn about the cause of their paranoia. Next time you decide to talk ill of that boss who is always in a rotten mood, give yourself a chance to find out about them. It will help you to understand them better and live with them in peace. Faults or no faults, everyone deserves to be happy.
After learning your lessons, live your life to the fullest again. The people who betrayed you are obviously having a party and won't shed a tear for you. So why waste your emotions on them. If the betrayal hurts, give yourself time to heal. Surround yourself with good people. Indulge in an activity that makes you happy.
When I'm sad I write and it feels better. What do you do when you are sad? Perhaps listen to good music. Don't displace the anger and hurt from the betrayal on others. You might end up losing a huge contract or even a good man or woman. There's no point pushing other deserving people away because someone who has no respect for himself disrespected you by wasting 'another chance' with you.
Do not beg people to love you. There's a special someone for everyone. Do not mistreat others because someone did it to you. I believe again that those who do will have their own share of it too. With time you will learn to believe in others again.
There will be people who would definitely deserve your loyalty, smiles, generousity, your time, love, commitment and who would not take it for granted. So put it behind you: 'choose not to waste time with stupid people' who fail to learn the meaning of friendship, honesty, loyalty and staying true to themselves.
Try again: do not lose your sweetness because someone betrayed you. If you do not try, you will never win!
This is is the edited version of yesterday's write up. I'm dedicating this to: Piqtures and if you are feeling betrayed or have had the 'another chance' privilege you gave to someone abused. This is for you.....x
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