I Paid to Pee

I woke up at 3am on a Monday five months ago and my body could not perform one of the easiest tasks all normal human beings do.
 
After almost three hours of trying hard as if  to push during child delivery, I could not take the pain any longer. As I tried harder  my strength began to fail.
 
 I began to cry:  I had prayed and prayed yet it felt like my prayers had not gotten to the old bearded man up there beyond the skies.
 
I screamed out loud. I kept screaming for God knows how long till I managed to wake my entire household up.

Initially my Dad even thought I was up to one of my usual morning jokes of waking up and screaming because I felt good. How I wished it was just a joke: yet it was not This was reality, I could not pee.
 
My parents after learning that i had not peed since 3am or so decided  I had to see a doctor immediately. I decided to take a quick shower before the hospital and whilst I got ready to be taken to the hospital, I kept reminding God that I needed to pee.
 
I prayed silently in my distress;"Daddy, this condition is not unto death; let your name be glorified." I kept repeating this even when we arrived at the hospital.
 
 At this time I had stopped crying as I had no more strength to cry . All I wanted was to pee. My abdomen felt like a bag of water; walking was an impossibility and  as hard as I tried, I walked bending down.
 
My case was treated as an emergency considering the fact that i could not walk and the discomfort I  felt. The doctor asked;"how are you?" but  I could not answer but just shook my head and explained to him that could not pee.
 
Amazing how a nurse stole that chance to advice me even before the doctor began the procedure to alleviate my pain. I could not lie still and as I lay down waiting I was almost lying flat on back but slightly turned on my side with my thighs lifted up and my feet resting  on the bed.

"I want you to feel better, I need you to lie still, open your legs and let me help you ok,” The doctor said slowly whilst standing beside me. I could not see what he was doing, my face was turned to the other side and with the pain i was going through, turning to look at him was not an option. "Ok" I whispered.
 
I only heard him saying a relative had to be present. Though his shift was  over, he wanted to make sure I was relieved before he went away, else it would mean waiting for the morning doctor to arrive.
 
 I knew it was a couple of minutes past six when we left home but could not tell the time the doctor was seeing me.
I lay still anxious to feel better. I only did not know what to expect but I knew no matter what, I would be safe. "Daddy take the wheel; Jesus take the wheel,” I prayed silently.
 
 I felt a sharp pang in my lower abdomen or so. It felt like a needle and I screamed out loud. What was it? An injection, am sure I assured myself. Yet this injection took forever and I kept screaming. "Sorry" I heard the doctor's voice say. Then whilst I kept feeling the pain of whatever it was, so did the screams become louder.
 
The doctor tried to quiet me down but I did not mind him. I could not cry and the deeper and more painful it felt the louder I screamed.
 God knows how long that lasted but  after sometime my bladder began to feel empty as well-gradual relief.
 
Wow! I wanted to feel better but the pain of carrying urine that I could not pass  was exchanged with another. I could not see anything my eyes were shut and I was simply not interested in knowing what was being done to my body. I only felt the pain of the piercing and cuts whatsoever.
 
Moreover, my hands also started sending signals of the pain they were also going through,  but that was nothing compared to the one I had felt earlier.
 
My urine had been drained. By 10 am I was wheeled to a ward and time after time I watched as the nurse came to check on me and check the drip I was being given.
 
Gradually I dozed off getting used to all the pain and ache my body surrender to. Completely sure that this would be over soon and even more optimistic that I  would come out safe and strong.
 
As I lay on that bed, waking up once a while, conscious of my new environment; In a hospital and not on my bed at home.
 
Life is a gift I thought. Waking up and being able to pee on your own without having your urine drained with a catheter is a blessing. I remembered all the days I had woken up and peed freely, yet had not cherished the blessing of being able to pee. I remembered all the other times I had peed on my own and had not said thank you to the one who freely gives pee and wills us to pee easily.
 
 All the days I had not experienced the pain of urine retention and even all the times I took this gift of life for granted.
 
Today, I cherish this gift more than ever. I lay thinking about the long hours of the dawn; of the people who meant the world to me whom I thought I was going to leave behind early on in the day if this urine retention was going to kill me.
 
 I was sure of one person who would not care if I lived or not and that was the boy who had dumped me a few weeks prior to this time.
 
Did it matter if he cared. I only cared about getting better though it would have been nice to have someone special care about me in my condition. Then I remembered I was being ungrateful.
 
I had a family who were eagerly praying for me to be safe: A mum who hated seeing her daughter in such distress; a  sister who I was sure would miss me for a dozen and more reasons and a brother who cherished me and would move mountains for me if he could in this situation; a supportive bunch of special people; my favourite girlfriend and over a hundred messages of well wishes from friends and flowers to say speedy recovery.
 
What a life! Little but big blessings of life taken for granted. As the days stretched  and I recovered quickly from the "cuts and needles" as I call it, I learned to appreciate these little but big blessings of life. Peeing freely on your own; family: friends; waking up to a new    day fit and strong; smiling; speaking sofly to someone; hugging; laughing amongst others.
 
Some people struggle and pay to do all these; if  you do not pay to do them; you are blessed. Let’s learn to appreciate that life has to offer. Enjoy them whilst you have them;
I paid a price just to pee; let’s cherish the things God has blessed us with;
 
These are  life's gifts.

 

Singing 'Amazing grace
               How sweet the sound
               I once was lost
               but now I'm found
               a hopeless case
                an empty place
                 if not for grace'
             
         
    Exactly a year ago, on this day 30th September I went through my 'cuts and needles'.
Today I thank God for what happened to me. Though very painful, it taught me some very special lessons. I didn't think I would pull through it. God is who I want him to be no matter the storm I'm faced with. I am grateful for the gift of life.
Grateful to be able to live like any normal human being.
I'm grateful for a special gift that God blessed my family with. Happy first anniversary to Emefa.
Thank you to: everyone who was there for me, prayed with me, sent me gifts and well wishes.
To Nana who was amazing throughout, special people like you are rare to come by.
To my very supportive family.
To the amazing woman who stood in the gap for me.
To my favourite girlfriend who fixed my hair even in my distress.
Celebrating Emefa
Celebrating me now and always!!!