Black Flowers -V

That's  how I  had  left his place  two or so hours  ago.
I was brought  back  to reality  at the  mention  of my name.
'Vesta Bilson.' I followed  the nurse  inside the doctor's  consulting  room and listened as the he held the x'ray results giving me an explanation  of my condition. I didn't  get anything  he said. Except : 
'An ordinary fall shouldn't have caused this much damage but you should be fine soon.'
What was he trying to say? That I was hiding something?  God knows I could not bear to tell this doctor the truth. It would open up a whole new chapter. I was not ready for any of that. I also did not want to lose Gad. My reputation  was also at stake here.  I had my hand put in a fiber  glass cast. Nancy  had arrived and I was grateful to have her around    as the procedure seem to hurt.

Once I  was  done, we went to get something  to eat. I had to eat with my left  hand which  was quite a struggle for me.
Nancy watched me in silence once we were done eating and went back to sit in her car so she could take me back  to  the house. 
'Were you with Nicholas?"
I nodded trying  hard not to let down the tear that was threatening   to   fall from my eyes.
'And he did this to you?'
There was a brief  moment  of silence. She must have seen the tears in my eyes, she pulled  me into an embrace  and I held on to  her for a while longer. When we finally  disengaged, she handed me a tissue  to wipe my tears and we drove in silence to the house. Nancy  sat with me for a few  minutes.
'Are you going  to  tell Gad?'
'Nancy , I   would love to tell him  at this point but I  don't  want to lose him. I don't  want to hurt him either. He doesn't  need  to know I cheated on him. For  Christ's sakes he deserves better. Please  let's  just leave  it this way. Gad doesn't  have to know.'

Nancy  was nodding  in agreement. 'Then make me a promise. Never  to see or talk  to  Nicholas  again.' My phone  began  to  ring. Nancy helped me get it out  of my  bag. She handed it to me but I didn't answer at all till the call ended. It began to ring again.
'Is it Gad? Let me speak with him.'
I shook my head to say no.
'Talk of the devil, ' I said.
Nicholas. What did he want?  We  just  stared at each other in silence .

'Never again.'
I whispered.
Nancy only nodded. The doorbell rang just then and we all sat up. Who could it be. I hope  it wasn't  Nicholas. We both stared at each  other and then back  at the door.

'What do you want?' I  screamed.
'Babes it's  me.'
My gaze fell just then. Oh God, I wasn't  ready for this. Nancy  stared at me for approval before getting  the door. It was past one in the  afternoon.
'Hi Ga-d.' 

'Hi Nancy.
How are you?'

' I'm fine.
Thanks for  asking .
How are you?'

'I'm okay, thanks.'

'Come in please  ....'

I looked up to see Gad smiling as he stepped   inside.
He walked  straight  up to me and pecked me on the left cheek. I got up to hug him and he ended up giving  me one of those hugs. I felt safe and that's  how it had always  felt hugging  him. He tried  to  disengage from the hug  but then I kept holding  on so he just held me in his arms. I was trying  so hard  not to cry. Seeing him made me feel  like a murderer.

'Guys I'm going  back to work.
See you later.'

Nancy 's voice  reminded  me that we were not alone.  I let go of Gad to sit on the couch before  we could  respond,  Nancy  was gone. I sat  on the  couch and Gad sat beside me holding  my left hand. He kissed  the back of  my palm, now I  felt like Judas  betraying Jesus, I   guess. Guilt washed  over  me. I didn't  know  where to start.

'I called  your  office  and  was told  you fell and had a fracture. I wanted to be sure you were okay."

Thank you office staff . You saved me. He believes  I fell. Can we just  leave  it that way.....I prayed silently.
'Where did it happen.?' The moment  I had  been   dreading. Was I seriously  thinking  he wouldn't  want details? Not my Gad.
'In the bathroom.
I slipped  and fell.'

'I'm sorry  to hear that'
He pulled  me into  an  embrace. Now I felt like  the cheapest  woman on planet  earth.
'It must hurt.'
I nodded in agreement.

'You'll  be fine soon.'  How on earth  could I have  this treasure and still keep  going back  to  my past. I obviously  didn't  cherish  what I  had or I was taking  what  I  had  for  granted. I didn't  want  to  lose Gad at this point. I didn't  want  to. It was this time  that I  realized  how  much I  loved Gad. Or did I   just wake up to reality?

The door  bell rang again.
Gad went to get it and brought  back a bouquet of beautiful  flowers.
He handed them to me. Gad must have ordered them and had them delivered to my place.  Okay, now I  actually  wanted  to disappear.......If he knew  what I had been  doing, he would send me black flowers,  instead  of these beautiful ones.

'They are beautiful .
Thank youuuuuu.'

I touched  them and inhaled the smell. Sweet....sweet....why was I choosing black flowers over these beautiful  ones? I just realized, I had made life difficult  for me. Holding  on to something  that hurt in the name  of addiction  instead of embracing the beautiful flowers that I   could have every day. It was time  to  stop looking  back at the black  flowers.

Photo  Credit : Women working.com

Thanks for  following  this story.
I'm afraid  I  can't  post anymore on here but will definitely  let you know how you can continue  reading.

Black Flowers IV

*****Warning**Mature Content*****

I owned my body; he didn't  own it; I owned me not him. If anyone deserved a piece of it, it was Gad.  The angel who had changed my perception  of love and had taught me in seven months that I   could be loved in every  way and not just for s**. It was my reason for not wanting  to go that mile with him. Yes, I   was coming  from a background  where I was made to think that s** was real love even when I  wasn't  being  treated well. Everything  began and ended with s**.  Every  other thing was  all abuse. Verbally, emotionally, physically   abused and the list was endless. 'God bless Gad.' I whispered, whilst  still struggling  with  the  monster.
'Stop fooling.'
He  slapped  me. The slap  only propelled me on to fight and not share my body: my beautiful  body as Gad liked to call it, with this sonofabitch.

The struggle continued. It became real and fierce  with each passing  second. Nicholas  must  have  gotten  impatient  with me.  Whilst  pinning  my hands with both hands onto the bed with him struggling  to kneel  between  my legs, I tried hard to kick him with both legs though  I was laying naked as by now he had stripped me of every physical  barrier  limiting his access to my body. I felt like  I  was being attacked  by a rapist and knew just then that I could not lose out in the strife.

'Stop fooling Vesta.'
Before I  knew it, Nicholas  was hitting  my right hand hard against  the bed. I froze. Once. Twice. Thrice. I kept screaming. I felt like  I   was going to die. He was hitting the bed with my hand like my hand was some stick or cane. By the third hit, I was in excruciating  pain and my tears were all over the place.
'Sorry .'
I kept on crying  as his naked body sat beside me on the bed looking on. 
'Sorry.'
What could  sorry  do now? I  could  not  move  my right hand.

I kept  crying  for God knows  how  long. Life was punishing  me for all my sins: for cheating  on  an innocent  man. Life was punishing me for still following  Nicholas  who obviously  did not like me, not one bit. Life was screaming  at me to wake up to reality and stop dining with the devil but life could have taught me this in another  way. Why did it have  to  be  on  this painful path? I thought  Nicholas would give up. Yet,  as soon as he realized  I had let my guard down, he jumped  on me and began afresh. Sucking on my boobs even in my distress like I owed him  s** whilst  I lay there just watching, never moving. As if that would make him stop. He obviously  did not need my involvement, no. I could go to hell laying stiff, he just needed to satisfy his craving. 

'You feel so good.'

I thought I was sick for following you but you must be more sick, I thought to myself  at the sound of his voice.  This was the only time I got complimented with Nicholas. At the peak of his pleasure, I was complimented for dishing it out well. Every other time, I was just some dull chick.  It just dawned on me how much I hated this dude. He went through  with every detail,  not minding the tears that fell down my cheeks  till he was through  satiating  his evil desires. He lay beside me and I   requested for a pain  reliever. It was all I  could do. I was such a fool. A fool for foolish things. A fool for a monster. Gad called my phone several  times  but I  ignored his calls. What would  I tell him?

I  got raped and now I  can't  move my hand? He would  still want  to come and get me. It hurt that I could  not answer  his calls.
'Why are your boobs sagging, whore?
Like that of a woman who has had ten kids ?'

I sighed.
The sonofabitch  was not through  with me yet.
He still ceased the opportunity to abuse me verbally.
He always  sought to do this once he was done getting  what he wanted.

'...got firmer boobs.'
Did he say someone  had firmer boobs? Did I hear that? Vesta the whore with sagging boobs! Was he seriously  comparing me to whoever?
That was when I almost lost it.

'Shut up you ingrate.' I yelled.
'You've had me for four years and just realized I have sagging boobs. Same sagging boobs that fed you. Same sagging boobs that you have played with for four years. Yes and you here, have been intimate with a whore, four long years. What does that make you?'

I still screamed but my arm reminded me that I   was drained.
Completely drained of all energy. This was not the time to prove my worth. This  was  the  time  to  walk on with the little  dignity I had. If I  had any at all. I had taken so much in one night. This should  not  get to me. I know me, I  do not have sagging  boobs but it hurt to have someone  I opened  my legs to for years call me names. It had always  been  this way yet I never learned. I still came back to this ****

  I began to cry and went back to laying down. Gad had never had access to my boobs the way Nicholas  did but he thought  they were firm and beautiful just from seeing them. I freaking  curse the day I   met you.  I must have slept off, to be awakened  by Nicholas  calling  me whore again. This  dude, I   curse the day I met you. You know I'm no whore. I was still naive when  you met me. You spoilt me in this way and made me your  slave.  Today, you call me whore. I curse the day I met you. I cursed secretly.

Forgive  me if you didn't  like  every bit of it.

Black Flowers -III

had  been  trying  so much  to move on until I met Gad who made me realize  how stupid  I was for still sticking with  Nicholas. It had been  seven  months of sunshine: he treated me like the lady I was. He spoilt me with so much attention  and love. Gad had never raised his voice  at me. Not in seven  months. I'm sure the day he did would  be the day he walked  out of my life. We had quarreled countless times but our quarrels  were settled  in  a way, in the end it felt  funny. After each fight we got even  closer but dude and I  had not gone past kissing.

I would be a liar to say I wasn't  attracted to him. He was too but I   made the rules and broke them if I wanted more kissing and cuddling. I only needed to tell Gad what I   wanted and Gad would be at my beck and call. So now what was wrong with me? Gad was the one who fed my emotions. He fed my every being. He made me happy. We weren't  sexually  involved  and with all the running  about I'd been  doing, I  felt so bad for denying him sex yet giving it willingly  to Nicholas. Nicholas   who saw me as nothing  but a mop to be used to clean his sexual cravings. It didn't  matter  where I  was, he just knew how to get it from me.

I needed deliverance  from this demonic opium. He was so not good for me: he treated me badly yet I still  shared my body with him. Why not Gad. Gad  deserved it.... I had known  him barely  a year  but would rather walk a mile with him than with Nicholas  whom I  had known for   four years. Rich: yeah he thought he was. Arrogant, notorious, self centered, didn't  respect women  not even  his own mother. What was I doing with him?

I snapped  out of my filthy desire for him and broke our kiss. I had told Nancy I was going to get ice-cream  so I  had my  yellow sling bag and Nicholas  had driven off because  he obviously  wanted to finish what he had started .
'Stop the car Nicholas.
I'm not ready to sleep with you.'

Silly me! What was I  doing sitting  in his car in the first place?

The music in his car was so loud as he made his way to his house.

'Why did you kiss me then?'

'Nicholas......?
Must every kiss end the way you want it?'

'Yes because  I  want you.'
Nicholas  had squeezed  one of my boobs with his other  hand whilst his other hand kept holding  onto the steering  wheel.

Nothing  I did would make him turn around. We finally  got to his place  and the bully ordered me out of his car. When I  refused, he left me in the car and went to let out his dogs. I'm sure the dogs knew there was a stranger around or maybe he had given them an order. They kept  encircling  the car and jumping. Nicholas  came to open the car door to peer at me. That  must have confirmed  their suspicions, it sent  them barking and trying to open  the  door till Nicholas  got back. At this point  I  had no choice  but to get inside the house. I didn't   want   to  get bitten by dogs. Nicholas  locked his his bedroom  door  once I got inside. He went away and came back after a while to finish  what  he had begun early on in the   car. Yes, I resisted with every breath. The more  I  resisted, the stronger he became.

I still resisted when he undressed me and forcibly tried to have his way with  me. Nicholas  must have mistaken my resistance  for foolishness.
'Stop fooling.'
He kept cautioning me. I still struggled with all of me. I resolved not to open  my legs to a monster like him. Not again! No not even  when  I  was  in his territory. I owned my body. He didn't  own it.  I chose who to share it with, it was not his decision  to make.





Photo Credit: Google  Photos.

Black Flowers -II

(Any explanation  would require  having  to  tell porkies. I needed to think through  carefully  before  attempting  one. I finally  got  to my apartment  and  thanked the driver before  making  my way  inside. I let the gate man help get out my keys as he wanted to know  what  had happened  to my hand.
'I slipped  and fell.'
'Sorry Ma'am.'
'Thank   you .'
Was all I   could  say. Once I   got inside, I  went straight  to my  room; to the bathroom. The struggle  to take  off the body con  I was wearing  began. I almost  cried, the pain  was unbearable. I finally  did  and struggled to take a shower. I struggled  to get dressed once I was done. I was starving but remembered  there wasn't  much I could do in my situation.

I  decided  to  suspend having breakfast. It was almost eight and my hand  needed medical attention. I picked a scarf from my closet and decided to use it to support my hand instead. I needed help to tie it around my neck to pass my right hand  through. In the end, I had to get assistance from my gateman. The poor old man just had to assist me; he helped me lock the front door and walked  me to the gate to find me a taxi since I  couldn't  drive. The drive to the hospital  was slow since it was still rush hour. Thankfully, I  arrived  and began the process to see a doctor. I was referred to an orthopedist.

Though it was my hand that  was hurting,  it felt  like it was my entire arm to my right shoulder. It gave me a sickly feeling. My phone  began  to  ring again. Gad won't  let me be. I didn't  pick up but went  on to read his texts. Boy! Dude was getting  worried  about  me but I  didn't  want  him  to  know  where I  was. I still decided  to  ignore  him till I could  come up with  reasons for my condition. I quickly  texted Nancy to ask her not to give Gad any details. She began to call right away.

'Vee.
You know the dude is going  to  be  worried  about  you.
What's  wrong  with  letting  him  know  you had a little  accident  and are getting  treated  at the  hospital?'

'No Nancy, please.'

'Wait a minute  Vee.
Are you sure it was a fall.'
?'

'Nancy.
The dude hit my hand against  the  bed several  times like my hand was a piece of wood.....'
I became  silent.

'Vee?
Are you okay?
Hello....?
Hello....?'

I mentally  slapped  myself for willingly giving out details I was trying  so hard to keep to myself. I said the words before  I  had the chance  to  think  about  it. My silence meant regret.

'I'm here...'
I managed  to say in a low voice .

'I'm sorry  Vee.
You mean Gad did that to you.
How's that  possible?'

'No!
Gad didn't  do that to me.
I haven't  seen Gad in three days.'

'So who did this to you?'

Nancy patiently waited for my response. I could feel the anger in her voice.

I offered  her no explanation  and just kept quiet.

'Vee.
Give me a few minutes, I'll get back  to  you.'

She didn't  wait  for  my response  before  cutting  the call.

Now I didn't  only feel shitty, I felt stupid for getting  into this mess.
He still called me whore after everything. I was such a fool. Why did I go there in the first place?

Nicholas  had called  me just like  he always  did. He claimed  he was in the  neighborhood  and wanted to see me. As usual, he could  not enter my house. Yes, he was such a toxic person that no one I meant the world  to  ever wanted to see him around  me. Our friendship  started and ended at my gate else, I  ended  up having  quarrels with  people  over him.
I had gone  to  see him. Nicholas  and I  were not friends  on an emotional  level. Our relationship  was so broken that what we had left was passion. We both seemed  addicted, no matter  what .  He ended up touching  me  and as usual the silly me jumped for him though   I had tried to keep away from him in months. I had been seeing Gad for the past seven months and  I   never  let him touch me the way Nicholas  did.

Gad was what I called my dream guy. Gad was  anything but the exact opposite of Nicholas.  Gentle, caring and respectful. I could doff my hat out to him, he adored the ground on which I walked.

Coffee kept me up all night...I ended up writing...I should drink more coffee☺

Photo Source : Google photos

Black Flowers - I

'Hey you. Wake up.! Wake  up  whore!
I felt a pang in my right arm. Then the pain became lingering  and unbearable. 'Whore, wake up!' This time I couldn't  bear it and let out a shout before  opening  my eyes. My hand felt painful. I had to lift it up with my left hand before sitting up.

I cast my gaze around the room and heard the door open. The  monster Nicholas  was standing beside the bed. That made sense. Thought I   was dreaming. It was so real. 'Get dressed, you have to go now.' Just then, my phone began to ring. Gad was calling, I  could tell from  the ring tone : Cold Play's   'sky full of stars.'  I waited for the call to end and then the phone began to ring again. I let the sheets fall onto the floor as I got out of the bed. I had been supporting my obvious fractured right hand with my left hand. There was no way I  could still clutch the sheets to my body and support  my hand.

The tears began to streak down my cheeks  as I tried to get dressed to leave. I could feel Nicholas  watching but cared less. He did not bother to help me knowing,  I  could not use my right hand. It took forever  but I finally  managed  to get dressed  and walked to the bathroom  to brush my teeth .  By the time  I   was done, the cab that would take me to my place was ready. 'The taxi is waiting  outside.' I didn't  bother to respond, I  just made my way to the entrance but before I could exit the building, Nicholas  grabbed  my left shoulder  turning  me around to face him. 'I'm sorry Vesta.' I took a final look  at him from head to toe and walked outside into the waiting  taxi which  sped off once I was seated at the back.

I rolled  down the glass as the rush of the early morning  air filled  the car. It was a relief  to be out of that house. My fourteen  inches hair which I  had not bothered to comb flew  as the wind blew  it. My phone  began  to  ring and as painful as my right  hand felt, I managed  to  get the  phone out of my sling bag which was on my lap. The call ended before I could get it. Gad had called  again. I checked  my whatsapp  messages  and his was the most recent.

'Good  morning  babes.'

The tears that had been  threatening  to  fall down  my cheeks  just fell.
I was such a bitch. Gad must have seen me online. I saw him still typing.
'Are you okay?' I just read on.
'Hope  you slept well. Your alarm called  to wake you up  earlier.' I'm driving  now, will call again  when  I  get to work xoxo.'

He meant he had tried reaching me earlier  to wake me up so I  would get ready for work. Gad had been  my very reliable  alarm clock  for months. Calling me every week day at a quarter  to six.
Oh God. How did I  get so messed up? I  needed to get home and take  a  quick shower but first I  had to call my Line manager to let her know I  was  going  to  be  late. I could barely  move my right  hand. Who was I  kidding ? I' m sure I was going  to  have  to take the day off.

'Good morning  Vesta'
'Good morning Miss Nelson'

'You don't  sound  okay.'

'Yes Miss Nelson, I actually  slipped  and fell last night. I can barely  move my right hand . I'm on my way to see a doctor and calling  to let you  know  I'll  be late to the  office .'

'Sorry  to hear Vesta.
You sound  terrible. Please  see a doctor  as quickly as you can and let me  know  what  happens. You can take the day off.'

'Thanks  Ma'am.'

'You are welcome .'

I needed to get home and freshen up before  visiting the hospital.
I  checked  my whatsapp  messages  and read through  them. Nancy my housemate  and bestfriend wanted to know  if I  had  left home  early or slept out. I   texted  back  to  let her know  what  had happened  but spared her the details. I still couldn't  reply Gad or call him back . I didn't  know  what  to  say to him.

Look who got back  to  writing  short stories  ☺☺☺
Keep reading  as the story develops.

It's Crass Behaviour !

Thank you is an exclamation  used when acknowledging a gift, service or compliment, or  accepting or refusing an offer. It is also an instance or means of expressing thanks: an expression of gratitude but do we use it often, promptly and appropriately?  A friend   shared  the story of how she had constantly  been bothered by a particular  group of guys in her congregation. They had heard from a reliable  source  that she cooked quite well and wondered when she would  cook for them too. They kept pestering  her till she finally  agreed and invited  them over for a meal at her house.

The guys  did show up and enjoyed  the  meal Selina cooked. They praised  her  for  her  excellent  culinary skills and expressed  hopes  of  having  her  cook for  them again before going back to their house. Days on, Selina apparently  waited to hear a simple thank you  from them. When it never  came, she went the extra  mile to report  them to their father since they all  belonged to the same congregation. Their father  was stunned and apologized on behalf of his unruly  children. It was at this point  that she   shared the story with  me. It sounded funny. It  made me laugh   though  I  rather thought  she went   too far by reporting  them to their Dad.

I have  come to realise that some people  just do not know how to say thank you. You can give them the world and they would never say those words. From the high and mighty to  whoever. Yes, you can't  blame  them. It isn't in their DNA. They were not taught to say it, when to say it and how to say it. How then  do you expect  them to say it?  Everyone  loves to be appreciated. Showing people  how appreciative you are of the little  things they do for you, such as stuff we take for granted  because  we have people  doing them for us without  having  to  ask for them. Holding  out the door for us, pulling the chair for us, sending   us birthday  wishes etc. Can you believe  some people  do not even  say thank you  when they receive   birthday  wishes  or other  wishes from  people. Wake up, you! No one owes you wishes on your birthday  or...... It is  just nice to send you  wishes thus people  still do. Stop acting  like  they owe it to you and start acknowledging them. It doesn't  make you unique, it is crass behaviour. Simply crass! It doesn't  matter  your  level of education , status or who you are, it is simply  crass behaviour to refuse to say those words when you have to.

In our daily relationships  with people, be it friends, people we are sweet on, work colleagues, school mates, family etc, we must learn to say thank you if we have  not grasped  this basic lesson yet. When someone  leaves all they have to do just to mourn with you when you are bereaved, learn to say thank you. When someone  compliments you, learn to say thank you. There are a million people  who are more handsome or  probably dress nicely than you do. Stop with the  crass behaviour! People should not be forced to say thank you but people  especially  our younger ones should learn and be taught to say thank you at an early age by their parents. Teach your girlfriend in a nice way to say thank you. What's  so difficult  about saying  thank you?

I have this friend who says thank you a million times (in my opinion, I appreciate  you though).Takes you out on a date and ends up thanking you. Sends you a delivery  and thanks you for accepting  it. They pass by your place to see you for ten minutes   even when they have to travel miles to get home and end up saying thank you. You give them an hour of your  time hanging out which you enjoy too and they end up thanking you. Tell me, if we all behaved this way, won't this world be a  better  place? 

I  have just adapted a stance when it comes to such issues. I can only do my bit. Whether I'm the one giving out or at the receiving  end. My duty is to be polite or offer any assistance  I can. Still play your part. Leave the people  who choose  to display  crass behaviour  to keep being  crass. It costs nothing to say thank you. Don't  forget, not saying  thank you is crass behaviour!

Photo source: Google  photos .

The Other Side Of The Coin

I was trying to get money out of my purse to send someone on an errand when I touched a coin. I took it out and noticed it was a one cedi coin.  I turned the other side and noticed both sides looked  the same. I took a proper look and realized it did look the same but they were not the same. The coin had two sides....It brought to mind my days back in class four.

Today, I think  it was a privilege to have been  in class 4p. It was a class where you sat according to  merit. A class where you could not afford to make mistakes because you were not only in competition with fifty three other  people( yes we were fifty four pupils in my class  at the time) but in competition  with  yourself. If you thought  someone was writing cursive better than you,it was time to write cursive better than you did before.

If you thought someone's essay made it to the class notice board for other people and the parents to read during 'Meet the Parents' then it was time to write an essay that would get posted on the notice board too. You were always  challenged to go higher as we were made to understand, there was always more room for improvement.

If they say I have a beautiful handwriting, I owe it to my class 4p and class 6s teacher: Mrs. Coker. If I seem tough to the critics, know that I learned to see two sides of the coin and not the side that suits me from an early age. Back then, we may not have considered them as constructive criticisms as Mrs. Coker seemed to have earned a doctorate in knowing   how to make you feel shitty with her words if she had to. She was also excellent   at  making you feel good when you deserved it.

What's your reaction to  the things you hear about yourself from people or words that are spoken to you? Are you sitting down, lamenting and drowning in sorrow because you are thinking  people beat you down with words? Some people cannot choose a seat on the other side. Dwelling on the flaws  and shortcomings of others does not only massage  their ego but that is their  only source of competition and inspiration (That has definitely got to  be a topic for another day).

Who are you allowing to beat you down with words or push you to the limit? Do you know just like a coin has got two sides, there are always two sides of the story? Do you know  you can choose to see the bottle as half full or almost empty? Which would  you rather choose?
Your happiness does not lie in the hands of anyone. It's in your own hands and eyes. Stop letting other people  who need validation by feeding off yours, control it.

Learn to look on the other side. It is called the other side of the coin. You choose or decide which side to view at a time. The emphasis here is not to ignore the side that will help straighten the creases. You have got to accept your imperfections to work at being perfect.  Nonetheless, there's something you should be looking at:  'not letting the creases be ever so prominent even when the world says it is.' 
Be mature enough  to  determine  the ones which are constructive criticisms  or just words meant to beat you down.
Confidence is key...look on the other side. Don't let the words stop you from looking: it's a coin!

I haven't  blogged in a while
Life indeed  gets busy......

He Got Me Dreamy: The Shoemaker...

A few days ago, I had an encounter with  a shoemaker who left me feeling like an ingrate. Inspite of it all, I'd like to share with my readers this little  big lesson.

I had left home carrying a shoe in my handbag that I obviously forgot  to  clean at least. I had not carried my quick polish either. I was compelled   to    stop by a shoemaker's shop briefly. Honestly ,  there was no way   I was going  to wear the shoe in question because I no longer had the feet for wearing shoes. Who was I kidding   with the shoe polishing bit? I wore open toe  flats and  was still   struggling   to   walk  so it really   made no sense.

Once he took my shoes and began polishing, he probably   saw the look on my face and asked if I was okay. Wow! He was so observant, I thought. For some weird reason, instead of wearing  clothes to cover my scary  legs, disability had not stopped   me from flaunting  my once beautiful  legs that now looked scary, nice or ugly depending   on   how   you   choose to look at it. Well, nothing had changed, my legs won't   fit into trousers I find appealing, I would  rather   not   bother though   covering up would have  really helped avoiding  having to explain  to the world what happened   to   my legs.

'Oh your legs. What happened  to   them?' He asked. My face must have looked ashen, gazing at him. Obviously, he got the message but instead of shutting his mouth and minding his own business, he ceased  the chance to urge me on. Telling me I would be fine and encouraging   me not to let my condition weigh me down. He told me whatever I was going through  could not limit me: I could still do anything .  He told me I would be all right. He kept  talking   till I almost forgot why I  had gone to his shop. He finally  handed me  my shoes and I thanked him for his free services  because  he hadn't  bothered to take a dime   from   me although   I   insisted. This was  a man with his left leg amputated  trying to make sure I was cheered up even in my distress.

He left me with so much thinking  to do. It was timely. Seeing someone in a situation worst than yours trying to make meaning out of life instead of drowning in sorrow and self pity, felt like I was such an ingrate. Always murmuring   about my recent challenge instead of celebrating the times when I could probably  walk properly. He walked with crutches  but here I was, getting inspired, motivated and  dreamy.

How many  times   haven't   we been in situations   where   we probably   looked   down on ourselves or felt helpless due to our physical   or mental  state? Well at church  on Sunday  when   I   saw lots of females   in stilettos ,  I   wondered  when I   would   wear one again  too.  If a man could tell me to keep going even   in his condition  then you and I   would be   such fools to let our  disabilities ,  temporary   situations and any other form of challenge  get to us.

You cannot drown in self pity. Get dreamy.
Step out, the world   is waiting to meet you.
You could also be someone's source of hope, livelihood   and inspiration. Don't   let your flaws,disabilities or current  situation cage you. You can still make at least a small dot in your world.

I know I haven't   posted anything  new in a while.
Writing hiatus due to   circumstances   beyond   my   control.
Thanks for  all the   well wishes...really appreciate.

I'm Wearing A New Dress...

On Thursday, I  woke   up   feeling   new. I wanted   to   wear a new dress so I chose one that was a gift from a friend a few days before.  I  settled on a new  pair of sunglasses and shoes from the same person as well. Making sure I dolled up looking new.

Well, you can't  blame me. I woke up feeling like a new creation so l wanted everything  around  me to be evident of that newness. Then my day began. Each time   my phone beeped, it was a new message.
I asked myself  if all the new things  I had on depicted  that newness I craved for. Then it occurred   to   me   that, it was   all in the mind.

I was  turning  a really special  age  and  woke up thinking  that, with a new age presents new opportunities  and a clean slate to begin writing  another chapter  of   my   life. Now it is left to me to use my blank slate properly. It's a new beginning  for me. What can I do differently ?  Everything  is   possible  if I can cease   the opportunity   and make   use of yet another new beggining.

Is it your  birthday   today? Do you   have   the  opportunity   to   see a brand new day? Did you just move to a new city or job?  Then it's   a   new beginning   for you   as well. Now, cease  the  day and wear a new dress. Yes, you   can   wear  a  new dress. Not physically   but mentally   and   psychologically. The emphasis  here is not  on the  physical but rather   a renewal of the   mind. A transformation  from the   old to the new. Keeping in mind that, you still have a chance to begin afresh, or an opportunity to do something that you have never done before by stepping out of your comfort zone.  Cease the day and wear a new dress!

The Sun Is Shining!

This morning, I woke up thinking  the sun was shining.  Do you know that the sun doesn't shine every day? Do you know that sometimes the sun just goes away for no reason.

When the sun shines is when you grasp the opportunity to  do what you can whilst the sun is still up. Don't wait for the sun to go down before you remember what you could have done or achieved whilst the sun was still up.

Is there something   you have to do?
Is there a goal you need to achieve ?
I think the sun is still shining.
Why don't   you   wake up.....
Face your sunshine.
Yes you can!

Goodbye April...
Though challenging,
You were good to me☺
Probably the best I've spent so far...😊☺☺

#GratefulForLife
#AprilGem

Photo credit:Google photos 
.......And he's got you   too!!

Wake Up!

So I have held the same position for months though initially on taking up the offer, the plan was for me to still look around for a better option.

I got caught off guard with a transfer from one location to a far one . It isn't like it came with a rise too and it was going to really wear me out considering my current status: S-W.

So this came as a blow. I was definitely unprepared for it  but in my unprepared state, I learned a few lessons.

Never get comfortable to the point you forget your worth. Sometimes we get so comfortable with what we have, and let time pass us by completely forgetting what we are worth as individuals, wives, girlfriends, friends or employees. Have you ever gotten so comfortable you forgot your worth as a person because you were scared to face what was ahead? No, wake up!

Did you tell yourself after you landed that job offer you were going to upgrade yourself but got drowned in the pool of what you were earning and put off the upgrade? Yeah you got comfortable with your little earnings, wake up!

Did you ever feel like someone has been so mean to you, they challenged you to do something you could have done early on? Something you could have achieved or acquired only to wake up or be drawn back to the thing after people have rubbed it in your face or been mean to you? Wake up!

The earlier you stopped with the procrastination of your life's goals, the better way to avoid loads of discomfort, embarrassment, delay and the popular 'Had I known' phrase. Wake up!
Don't wait for a transfer that does not only discomfort you but leaves you with absolutely no room to take that big step.

It may be tough out there but waking up and facing the reality of the toughness ahead would be equal to realising your worth wherever you find yourself. Your worth can only be seen when you act it, earn it, get to that destination where it is seen and felt. Finally, by the message you send across and it definitely doesn't decrease if some people fail to see it. I mean, whether you like President John Mahama or not, he  is still the president of the day. You can't stop being a Ghanaian because he is president. Yes. Your worth!

Never you get too comfortable  and always be appreciative when the worst happens because beneath every dark cloud lies a lacey white cloud. It had to happen to wake you up.

CALVARY COVERS IT ALL!!

'No one but Jesus
Can make us pure as snow
We stand in your freedom
Calvary covers it all.

'Calvary, covers it all
My sin and shame don't count anymore
All praise to the one who has ransomed my soul
Calvary covers it all. ...'

Calvary by Hillsong.

It's another Easter season and lots of people had activities planned for the celebration.  From Kwahu, Kumasi to Oxford Street.  People have travelled back home just to celebrate Easter. I hear Easter is best celebrated outside the big cities in Ghana.  I know  a few people who have travelled back home to  Ghana  from other countries just for the celebration. I hope you are having a memorable Easter but may I ask if you understand the purpose for this celebration? Or is it just one of those seasons of merry making and fan fare? If you understand, are you activating the full benefits of the season?

Let me walk you through the story of this man.
A long time ago, a prince left his father's Kingdom and was born in a manger to ordinary parents: Joseph and Mary. He lived here on earth as an ordinary  man but he was no ordinary man as people realized that he did extraordinary things. He performed miracles,  raised the dead, healed the sick and the blind and  talked about the kingdom of heaven amongst others.  He became popular for the things he did and  although he was blameless, without fault and could not be found guilty of any crime,   people screamed : crucify him,  crucify him. He was crucified on the cross of calvary.  I cannot imagine how much pain he went through.  He went through all that pain, died, was buried, arose and is currently seated at the right hand of the father.

All that happened at calvary and what it signified to me, has been summed up in the book of Isaiah 53:5 ' He was wounded for our iniquities,  bruised for our transgressions and the chastisement for our peace was upon him and by his stripes,  we are healed'  but, you can actually write a whole  book out of it.  As a child of the Kingdom,  you must live in full awe of what this season signifies and most importantly,  benefit from what happened at calvary.

When he went through all that suffering and pain for us, it was to enable us come into his presence and take over our places as his children. We were reconciled with our father. It means that, it doesn't matter if you are a murderer, thief or a prostitute. When we sin,we fall out of line with the father. Yet at calvary, it was taken care of.  Now all we need to do is come to the realization that we have sinned and ask for forgiveness because sin was taken care of at Calvary. Shame, pain, sorrow, disgrace and sickness  was taken care of as well.

Happy   Easter!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Photo source: Google photos

I Love That Man!!

Today, I saw  a handsome young man on a friends display picture. Wow! The guy is cute, I thought   to myself. When  I clicked on it to have a better view, I realised he had passed on at thirty one and would be buried soon.  Sunday, on my way from church, I saw a death notice that read:  'Gone too soon'. The guy was just eighteen. A few weeks ago, when I was in Ho, I saw two notices that read same but this time, the girl was sixteen and the other twenty eight. Okay, this is terrifying.

Such young lives lost to death. Can't tell what happened to any of them but I'm wondering how they are feeling dead and gone out of this world with loved ones behind.  I'm sure they had girlfriends and boyfriends.  I'm sure they must have had a few shots of tequila or even smoked some weed. I'm sure they must have been side chicks at a point in time or might have kept three or so girlfriends at once amongst other things that we all do as human beings.

Yet they just went away and we are still here. I want to know.  Were they ready to die? Would you be ready when the Lord shall come? What does it mean to be ready? I really can't tell. I would need a whole write up to explain that but if they were Christians, did they love that man? Did they win any souls for christ?  Were they born again? Were they forgiving and loving? It's  easier for people to glorify the dead but I'm thinking about celebrating them whilst they are still here instead.

As the world celebrates  Easter, how many people   are really  marking   the reason   for   the   season?  I barely see statuses or photos depicting  anything   about   Easter and its   true significance. How many people   are   loving   that man?

Do you know what time you would go?  Would you be ready? Are you working out your salvation? Are you saying the right words to people?  Can people   find   comfort in your words? Are you   showing people   enough love or just what you   think   they deserve?
Are you  helping   people   enough? Are you   being   a friend  or a snitch? Are you loving that man of Galilee  for the sacrifice he made for us some years ago? How are you loving him: well, I love that man of Galilee, he has done so much   for   me including   forgiving   my sins and sending the Holy ghost   to me. A reason for you   to   love him too.

As the   world marks the death and crucifixion  of Jesus, let me ask, would   you love that man? Would     you   be ready?  Whilst   we remember his laying still in the tomb on this day, shall we also see it as a perfect   time for reflection and live in the   knowledge   that he gave us the law of love instead of sin. Now the choice   is yours. Would you  love that man? Would   you   be   ready ? 

I'm back...
I'm back ...
I'm back !!
Though   I let the   challenges   get to me,
I'm back  from the writing   hiatus  ☺
Happy  Easter !

Happy Independence Day Ghana!

Today, millions   of people   across the country   marked her fifty ninth independence celebration. Many were of the   opinion that the celebration   was a waste of resources considering the   various   challenges   confronting our motherland.

I on the   other   hand used today to do some eflection.

For a nation that we call our motherland,
We cannot   turn our   backs on her.
Not in progress, not in regression .

There's   a   part of our anthem that says:

'Make us cherish,fearless honesty....'

....And on this day, I hope   that   regardless   of what   time it is for Ghana, as a people   who   can call her our motherland, we shall continuously cherish  our Ghana doing away with   all sorts of practices that  retard her development and   growth.

Hip,hip,hip....
Hurray ....to my motherland.....wishing  her a peaceful elections ahead of the   November  polls. In the  end, may she come  out still flying her flag high  noted for peace.

Happy  to  call myself  a   Ghanaian.

Wishing all Ghanaians both home and abroad a Happy Independence Day.
Enjoy your holiday!

My Favourite Romantic Novel: Thank You!!

I just published "Thank You!" of my story "MY FAVOURITE ROMANTIC NOVEL". http://w.tt/1QpQGNH

In the next couple of days, 'My Favourite Romantic Novel' Would be unpublished on Wattpad.

I want to say thank you world for granting me audience.  Thank you to everyone who read it. I'm challenged to write better as a writer because my first novel even unsold has over a thousand reads. I guess the bar has been raised, my readers would expect nothing, absolutely nothing but the best from me.

It has become necessary for me to unpublish my story because what started as a small joke has now become  a journey to making #1 New York Times Bestseller.

Would you buy a Puppishgirl novel?
Would you read a Puppishgirl story?
Still undecided on whether I want to be known as Puppishgirl or by my real name.
Whichever way, I appreciate everyone for reading. I would be leaving a few chapters as a novel taster. However, you can still have a read before it is unpublished.

Photo source: Sylviaday.com

Another Chance -'Love Gone To Sleep'

She stood there, her vision   blurred from the tears that welled up in her eyes.
Her legs wobbled   and her body was threatening  to fail her. She was spent from crying. She could feel  her insides hurt. A look at the white rose she held gave her goose bumps. Clifford    was leaving   her.

It felt like she was having  an out of body experience . She wished she  possessed   the ability  to   leave her body and make it sleep forever instead. Her heart   felt like   a   knife  had been   put through it. She watched   as darkness   engulfed her world .  Gradually,  the clouds turned black  and the clock stopped   ticking. At least   it had not ticked in her world for a while now. Clifford  had left her.

Love was cruel.
Clifford broke his   promise   to   her.
He walked   out on her.
He turned   his back on her.

Her mind went back   to   when he had   walked  her down   the   aisle .  Though she had been   young, she felt safe with him.
He had looked   very   handsome in his black tuxedo  towering over her as they faced   each other   to say their vows. Her heart had   raced as he made her, his to have and to hold. Now she could recall there was a part that said 'until death do us apart.'

The tears streaked   down  her cheeks  and she wanted   to disappear just then. Oh  Lord she thought   to herself before she felt the  grip on her waist   tighten.

'Mummy....'
Sonia called. Rudely interrupting her thoughts.

They had been   singing 'Abide with me.'

Nana Akua felt a cold rush of air wash over her.
She felt someone rub her back from behind as she put an arm each around her two daughters. It must have been one of her sisters.  Sonia let go of her waist.

'When other helpers fail
And comfort  flee
Help of  the   helpers
O abide with  me...'

'You have   crossed   your finish line
Now the angels   await you   this minute to welcome you to sleep in the Lord till   the   resurrection   when we shall be reunited with you our   son, brother, husband ,  father and friend.
Goodnight Clifford Khardi...In the name of almighty  God the father , the son and the   Holy   Spirit . ......Amen'

'Amen.'
The crowd  shouted and then the sealing of the   tomb  began.  Darkness lingered on like never before.  Her love, her bestfriend, her biggest fan, the only man she had ever loved dressed in white tuxedo, looking   like he was sleeping   lay in a casket and put in a tomb .  Not her Clifford.

'Mummy...' Isla called as she threw the rose onto the   casket.
Reminding her Mum to do same too.
Sonia threw her rose onto the casket with   so much   reluctance and then Nana Akua.

'Rest easy   my love'  She whispered.  The   sealing of   the  tomb  commenced as mourners began   to   leave  the graveyard one after the   other .  Nana  Akua  didn't   want   to   leave but her sister   took her right hand  to walk   her to the   parking   lot. She saw Frazier put an arm each around  her daughters whilst  they looked on as the tomb was being sealed .  Maya wouldn't   let her stand   there and   acccording   to   tradition, she could not be there whilst the tomb was being   sealed.

The walk to the parking   lot was quiet with people   interrupting   them once a while  to   say hello and express their condolences. She spotted Clifford's   Mum getting  into their car.

She sat in the   passenger's   seat  as Maya drove out of the private cemetary. Maya   turned on the radio as she rested her head  against   the   seat and let down   tears she had   been   holding   up on their   walk to  the   parking   lot. No matter   how much   Maya tried distracting   her sister to prevent   her from   crying, she failed.

She touched her sister's  arm, taking her hand  whilst driving to reassure her that it would be okay. She would have joined   her younger sister to cry but she needed to be strong. Even  as her sister cried a million   tears for her love that   was now laying  in a casket beneath a tomb. Her  world   had just   crumbled down  in her full glare  but they still asked her to be   strong.

'How could  he do   this   to me ?
What am I  supposed   to   do with   the   girls ?
How do we live.....'

She cried out loud.

'Oh God grant me strength .
Grant me strength . ..
Grant me strength now that   my love has gone   to   sleep.'

'Nana he   will take care   of you....'
Maya   assured   her.

Excerpts from  'Another   Chance '

Puppishgirl   blogspot   is two years. I want to thank   everyone   for   reading. Without   you, there would be no Puppishgirl. I appreciate   all of you. Silent readers and the ones who dare to send private messages  as well as post comments. In ernest, I   almost   forgot  about it till someone   reminded me. Thanks everyone!!

Fly Butterfly Fly.....

I have  had to love my butterfly.
The first butterfly I ever adored......

Today, we both   agreed to begin this walk together .

We hold  hands and tag   each other  along.
Time to love.
Time time   to   heal the wounds and mend broken   pieces.
Don't   hate me for this step .
I tried hard to let you   see...
Fly butterfly fly....
Fly butterfly fly  ....
Fly to encircle my world with love...

Kofi and I had not seen each other in seven years.
We had constantly   kept in touch. Don't   get me wrong ,  we weren't   best friends who spoke on a daily or weekly   basis but he was just   one of the few people   who remembered   my birthday   without   having   to   see a post on social media.

We grew up together .  He used to be my best friend   turned boyfriend   and then  enemies   at some   point. We stopped   talking   for   a few days but well  he just   wouldn't   let go. So miles away, we kept   in   touch   and he would   send me some money from time to time. We weren't   in a relationship. Each time, the topic   came up I would   ask him to wait   till we met in person .

It's weird how it's   been seven long years yet seeing him felt   like  he had  always   been  there. Nothing   had   changed . Tonight ,  we revisited   the   past. Kofi felt hot all of a sudden   even   with   the   air condition   on. He hated the idea. I on the other   hand   felt a need to revisit the   past if we had to work on us.

I had been   looking   forward   to   seeing or hearing from you Fr.......mer. At least a text to let me know   that   we still stood the chance of being at least friends. For me, it has   been   a long wait. I can't  seem to tell what   you   would   do next. It feels   like   you   are   happy  where   you   are .
For me, it has been  picking and throwing   pebbles  along the street. No pebble has suited my purpose....

I have  had to love my butterfly.
The first butterfly I ever adored......
Fly butterfly fly....
Fly butterfly fly  ....
Fly to encircle my world with love...

Challenging week for me but I'm  glad I pulled   through.  This piece   is for the person   who wanted to kill me with sixteen scoops of ice-cream. ...You mentioned my write up would be about you....well my muse, welcome home.....

Oh This World!

Most people are living with life threatening conditions and hoping it gets better. Some claim to have been told by their spiritual fathers not to adhere to doctors advice as that might push them to an early grave. Others would rather resort to other means of healing instead of the one we all know.

It is not wrong to seek the face of God in such instances. Infact personally I would put God first but when  the diagnosis has been made, the first thing to keep you going would be to seek  continuous medical care. If you are so spiritual, it is okay to find out what God says about your situation. Infact that's the way to go but after that,  do what you have to do: seek proper medical care. No one can make decisions for you: yes people can advice but you know what, if they haven't been through what you are going through, you are speaking with the wrong people.  Except the person is above you (You know what I mean). Again make sure you are speaking with the right person.

I'm tired of hearing my Pastor said that,
My Pastor said that....
Yes your Pastor did but what is he doing to help you feel well? It is good to apply faith but a few months ago, I learned that sometimes we should not cut out other possibilities in the process.The faith process does not only mean sitting down and waiting for a miracle to happen. It is a whole walk. Sometimes the only way you can get better is through the cuts and needles with God going ahead. Sometimes you need to go the extra faith mile to get healed.
Don't you shut out other options.

I am deeply saddened by the news of the death of someone. I knew you to be ablaze for Jesus. I still recall the day when I had just gotten home.  You opened my gate saying you had a dream about me and wanted to  share it with me.
I had seen you around but had never spoken with you. It felt weird but I still listened and thanked you for sharing your dream with me. I exhibited a sign of humility according to you and when you reiterated that the solution was in Christ, I did not challenge you but rather considered the option you provided.
I felt the presence of God that evening and enjoyed fellowshiping with you guys.
Since then, our conversations were centered around Christ. I remember how you encouraged me to view my work in the house of God as  an opportunity to serve when I was new at my current church.  You told me I was new in that church but I was  not new in Christ. Again if the zeal you had for the things of Christ was still there, what can separate you from him? If sickness did not, not death either.  You got so depressed at the expense of people, you appeared as unfriendly but I knew you from way back. This thing made you have split emotions.  You must have gotten tired. Your pain must have been unbearable.  Henceforth, there shall be no more pain or sorrow nor weeping. God has wiped your tears away, you have left this world behind.  I know you are singing as you journey on. Oh this world... Today,  I learn another crucial lesson.  My hope will keep being in the Lord. Go on...Sleep with the Lord. ..You are just sleeping, your tears are over.

In My Pain Web

Pain  can be described as mental  suffering: distress or a highly unpleasant physical pain caused by illness or injury. It is an inevitable part of the human race: everyone would go through it at one point or  another. It is true that some people will never know that thing called pain though.  Pain isn't determined or controlled by anyone eventhough pain can be avoided. 

Lets  focus briefly on  pain as mental suffering or distress. When one fails in life, is disappointed, betrayed or loses a loved one amongst others, they go through some form of distress. One of the things that causes distress to both sexes especially the female sex is being disappointed by a partner. Whatever goals the relationship held, one is bound to be the victim of the pain caused by the effect or turn out of the relationship.

How do you react to the  pain of the loss of a dear one? Alive or gone to the land of the dead....Some women take a longer time to brood over the being disappointed bit but we all react differently to pain. The duration or time one takes to heal is really relative dependent on several factors.

A few years ago,  I  wrote 'Pain Web.' Someone had caused me pain but in my situation, it was more of what I stood to gain than the person involved.  Don't get me wrong, we all have goals and sometimes, it is always better to let go of the person involved when there has been a betrayal.  Well, I'm a church girl so I sought  revenge from the word of God. I constantly reminded God of his word. I could not revenge, he had to do it for me. I believe the best form of revenge is when the people who betrayed and caused you a fortune,  end up becoming inseparable.  They both would have to bear the load, I think. This would be a topic to be explored some other day.

When I wrote 'In My Pain Web' the goal at the time was to share it with people faced with a similar challenge.  It was until recently that sharing the stuff I write isn't a priority because writing has become therapeutic for me sometimes.  So it isn't everything I write that I get to share. In writing,  you do not get criticised.  My laptop or tablet cannot ask me questions.  I write what I want and so do you.
I got to a point where I had to forgive and wrote them down including the times when I would cry and give God reasons I could not forgive the people who had hurt me.

I found out in that time of distress that usually,  the people who hurt us don't even know.
Only a few are that sensitive to know or realize it. That's when they come back to ask for our forgiveness but sometimes they do not know or deliberately choose to ignore and overlook any hurt caused us though in reality apologising would make our burden lighter. So we can't always sit and wait for them to apologize.
Sometimes it will never happen.
Yet, the more we hold on, the more we hurt ourselves.

I have seen on television and heard stories of people who kept others in their pain web: the torment and torture it caused both parties.  At other times, the keeper:whoever is holding someone in their pain web is able to reach his or her goals yet the person being kept has had to go round only to discover the cause of their problem: restitution, just an apology away. It taught me a lesson.

Why I call it a web.
A web because in that web, you can keep one person. You can keep five, ten you name it. It keeps enlarging yet it comes back to one person: 'You.' The one who keeps hurting and constantly keeps thinking about the source of your distress when they are obviously moving on.
So in there, you can choose to keep ten people but what would that yield to?

Sometimes, as hard as it may seem we have got to let go. As much as it hurts we have got to work on us: yes that takes a lot of effort especially when the person causing us the pain is enjoying themself elsewhere.  It doesn't matter, still learn to let go. Seek help if you can't do it by yourself.  Remember it takes time so don't rush it. Allow yourself to go through it every step of the way. It is the only way you would get better. In the end, make sure you free 'You' so you can experience the beauty of life again.

If you are in the habit of causing people distress through your actions, if you have ever caused anyone pain, did you take steps to alleviate the person's pain or you drowned yourself in your new world so much that you forgot how the other person was feeling.  Truly you need to be in a person's situation to know how they feel. You know what to do. It will not stop the person from hurting, it will not bring back whatever the person lost but if there's something called a pain web, it would certainly help.

Are you hurting due to someone's actions or inactions, in your pain, find yourself again. In grieving, get up, chase your dreams again.  Pain is temporary, but being in someone's pain web can have long term implications.  You don't want to get there.  The sun will shine again....in your distress, may you find a glitter of hope to help you out of that pit.

This piece is for 'You' who is going through some form of distress right now. Hoping you let go of the people in your pain web so you can see the beauty of life again. 

Taken...

Sunday was  Valentine's day. May I ask what you did? How was your celebration? 

Well for a start, I went to church.
It was awesome. Napped for a while and then at half six my girlfriends and I began our little celebration.  We were not going to  rely on dudes to dictate the pace and celebration of our day. To us it was a perfect time to have a little girl time. First place we went to was so crowded.We had meant it to be a pizza night, so we opted to go to Champs. It was cozy in there as we chatted over drinks and pizza (No alcohol). Just talking gibberish and watching people (Couples).

Well, what else was there to do.
No single dude in this city came out alone.
Everyone had a woman for the day. Honestly, I'm hoping it lasts beyond just some celebration.

In my opinion, I beg to differ though,  Valentine's day can be every day. I don't have to wait till 14th February to give my dream boy gifts or take him out. I could do that any day. I've read posts by lots of people who probably assumed they were taken until 14th February.  They sounded disappointed and some have vowed to move on without people who always disappoint.

Well, trust me, the single women had the best celebration. Firstly they didn't have to wait for gifts from any one. Secondly since their happiness didn't depend on any dude, their day was just another day so they could not be set up for disappointment like those who apparently thought they had been taken only to find out that, whoever they must have thought had taken them had their eyes fixated on either someone else or just didn't think they deserved a treat or perhaps were just not for the celebration.

Whichever way,taken or single, I hope you had a memorable celebration because my girls and I did.  I hope you didn't get up to anything that would mar your relationship or disrupt your life in the months ahead.
Hope you went easy on yourself, it wasn't a world cup tournament.  It was just just a day to celebrate whether taken or not.

It's my Alice's birthday today.
What can I say?
I wish you several  more celebrations ahead....