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Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Memories from Ada

Growing up in Accra, Ada and Ho, I have very fond memories of my childhood and my stay in these three places.
As a child growing up,  I remember being taken  to the training college where I became a live doll for some training college students because they changed my hair style every two or so days. Poor me!

I did not live too far away from the beach and could see the sea if I climbed the wall or stood outside. Though my parents kicked against it, as adventrous as my siblings and I were, anytime my parents went to work, having been locked inside, our only fun was to climb the wall. Sit on the wall and view our surroundings with a binoculars one by one.

If you didn't learn to climb the wall, you couldn't catch  the fun so even the coward amongst them: I, learned to climb the wall. The only things I never tried were playing kpitinge, alikoto, climbing coconut trees, playing games that involved getting physical. My younger siblings took delight in playing games I found weird and stupid. How do you agree to spank each other turn by turn, ten times in a row. Yet, call that a game even when one ends up crying.
Though I went to school in Accra, almost every vacation was spent in Ada.

So I remember my siblings and I started stalking some other children who lived farther away from us. Their house was the last one at the far end secluded from all the other houses.
Theirs was much bigger and had yellow walls with a driveway that stretched on like a real winding road. Just like us, they hardly came out but made sure they climbed their wall too.
Gradually even without ever speaking with them we could tell what time they would climb their wall and we always watched as they sat on their wall. They always came outside on time,at the same time that we would climb our wall too.

Our binoculars must have gotten them intimidated as they were all boys and could not figure out what we were using. We learned later that they were the children of the DCE.
With time,they were allowed to come outside their gate and sit with their security man. Good for them, we still had to climb the wall to catch a glimpse of our neighbours.
They always locked us inside. My brother was troublesome and climbed almost all the coconut trees by the sea. He fell once from a very tall one and never told anyone but fell ill for a long time. We were always locked because out of curiosity, we could go to the oceans and play.

My brother and aunty even helped the fishermen drag their nets often. We all did once a while, I still cannot tell what for as of now. In the end, we went home with lots of fish but made sure we fried and ate as much as we could before my mum got back else trouble for us. If we couldn't finish, my Aunty was burdened with the responsibility of having to smell fried fish in her room all night. She even ended up eating all of it and would lie to us in the morning that a mice ate it. I never saw a mice around yet she always had imaginary ones visiting her room at night only to eat our fried fish. As naive as we were, we believed her. It only occurred to us years later that my Aunty had lied to us.

One day, my mum forgot to do the usual locking up of her kids and went to school. My Aunty had travelled too, so my siblings and I decided to stay home and play in the sand outside, though we could go to the beach. I sat watching them play alikoto and since I didn't know how to play that, it got boring with time. I began to read a book and then decided to go to the beach alone.
I disappeared without telling anyone. I think I was about twelve or so. I went to the beach holding a bible as a form of protection and sat on one of the fallen coconut trees. Then I spotted a canoe and decided to check it out. Whilst I was by the canoe, a little boy came to me informing me in  the Ada language that someone wanted to see me. I asked him to go and tell whoever it was to come.
It turned out to be one of the boys we had been watching with our binoculars. I later learned from him that his was the first of four boys. My heart began to beat really fast when I met him finally. Don't blame me, I was becoming an adolescent and  Sweet Valley High as well as the other books I had been reading, U.P.S, Redco and Redco parties did a good job of opening my eyes to what was cute, handsome or beautiful. This guy was so cute but looked creepy to me as well.
I knew he was going to start a fight because we had been watching them with our binoculars.

He started by introducing himself and went ahead to ask why we had been watching them. He demanded to know what we had been using to watch them. Had to explain that it was a binoculars. He even asked where we got it, but obviously I couldn't say much. My dad brought it from St.Petersburg or Moscow, hilarious.
Told him it was for fun. He just laughed. He calmed down after learning we were just a bunch of curious kids. I learned later he knew my mum because he had attended the secondary school that my mum taught at. He was a SHS leaver whilst I was in J.S.S. one going on to form 2. They were the last batch to go through sixth form. We talked, laughed and he even invited me to go to his house. Initially I did not want to,  but agreed to go after he had offered to lend me some cartoons to go watch and some game cartridges.
He was several  years older than me but with time, we began to meet at the beach every day. Looking back, I think he was such a gentleman.

Unfortunately, my mum got transferred to Accra just when we were becoming real friends with our neighbours. We kept in touch via telephone as he would call me on my landline often. He wrote me letters as well, but I never saw him again. We lost contact when I finished J.s.s and  moved houses. Our phone number changed.

One afternoon, whilst still in my third year at University, City fm carried a news story on his supposed family I had assumed at the time. Same surname: district chief executive of Ada east involved in a tragic motor accident and lost his life together with his oldest son. Same name as my friend. I cried for days and was inconsolable.
Don't know why I cried so much. Perhaps though I had not seen my friend in years, I had been hoping to see him in future I guess. I couldn't comprehend how such a handsome young man would die that way. I even wrote him a tribute and spent days grieving.

Recently, I became friends with his brother on facebook and he drove to come and see me. That was the only day I learned the truth. The family that had been involved in the car accident just had the same surname as theirs. My friend is still alive and I'm grateful to God. I miss Ada. From my house at the far end close to the beach, to the streets, watching the fishermen at work, the women who could walk about without covering their breasts,the little villages around the sea, Ada kenkey and fish, the much revered Olaga, Totimekope, Ocanseykope, church, Manet beach resort, my childhood friends...oh I sincerely hope I see them again. I even miss sitting in the Adasco truck:eeiiiii. I miss the beautiful scenery, all the lovely people including my neighbours who have passed on to glory. If I could turn back the hands of time......
Memories from Ada.




With fond memories of my friend; Ofoe Ceasar and my stay at Ada-Foah....childhood memories.


Saturday, 3 January 2015

He Put A Song Of Praise In My Heart....

Just last night, I spent time with one of my favourite people. Nothing you would call extraordinary.  We didn't dine at the best hotel in town but you know what they say; time with special people doing ordinary stuff turns out to be special. We were talking about how 2015 had begun. My neighbours lost everything in a fire on new year's eve. I got home a little after 10pm looking forward to having a peaceful night. Little did I know that was not going to be.

After a quick shower I went to bed imploring my father to cause me to abide under his shadow till morning. I drifted off to sleep, afterall the load shedding was still on and my phone went off so I did not have much to do.
I woke up around 3 a m to pee and for hours I could not pee. Don't even try to imagine the pain. I could tell how this was going to end up. In the hospital laying flat on my back for the doctor to relieve me of my pain. Yes it was going to be painful and all but the pain I would go through was the very least of my worry at the time.

My mind rather began to drift off. I began to think of all the people I was not at peace with. The people I stopped talking to because I thought they had hurt me in one way or the other. The calls I do not pick and never even bother to return; whether from the old or young. The people I just disregard all in the name of self respect. Not forgetting the people whose boyfriends I go to have a drink with at the expense of their girlfriends. If I say a drink it actually ends there because I'm a girl who overly respects and adores her body. I'm particular about who I share it with. That's just me. Morality matters to me but here I was thinking. Perhaps having a drink with someone's boyfriend is wrong... The people who had hurt me, who I vowed never to have anything to do with yet still kept in my pain web. Then I also thought of the stuff I thought I owed God. In October or so, I split my tithe into two and paid just half of it.

I even thought of all the bad stuff I had done. Wow, how your mind is constantly in overdrive when you see the end approaching. I was doing the thinking whilst I could not pee..hmmm. I quickly dismissed the negative thoughts.  I was not suffering because of my sins. Afterall, if anyone is in christ, he becomes a new creation, old things are past and gone, all things have become new. This scripture helped me regain my confidence as a child of God. Then I felt at peace. That was when I began to fully trust my God to see me through. I was confident that 'he was wounded for my transgressions, bruised for my iniquities and the chastisement for my peace was upon him and by his strife I'm healed...Isaiah 53:5. 

I have friends who constantly  cannot  sleep at night. I have seen people who can only sleep with a machine because they have sleep apnea. I have seen people who cannot eat through their mouth. I have seen people who cannot breathe freely and then I know that there are others who cannot pass urine too.

It is necessary to cherish the gift of life. It is only when your body cannot perform certain basic functions by itself that you begin to realise how lucky you have been in the past. You also begin to crave for another chance. We need to cherish simple things like being able to eat through your mouth, pass urine by yourself not with the help of a catheter, sleep by yourself not with a sleeping machine, breathe freely amongst others. Even  being able to see, hear and talk is a privilege we take for granted.

No one can understand the depth of my praise this evening when I sing Don Moen's;
'God is good
All the time
He put a song of praise in this heart of mine
God is
All the time
God is good.....'
Don Moen definitely had my situation in mind singing that song. Last night was a tough night. This morning, God came through for me. I know he's working things out for me; whether ugly,serious, bad, written off, my case is not finished yet. He knows how to compensate me.

I'm out of the woods now. Thanks to everyone who worried about me because they've probably not heard from me today. Sorry I could not reply your whatsapp messages or pick your calls. Now you know where I've been.  To hell and back. I'm not sad about the pain; every pain has an expiry date.
I'm just grateful to be alive this evening.  I'm grateful for his healing power. I'm grateful he put a song of praise in my mouth.








This post is inspired by Don Moen's 'God is good'. Dedicating this to  everyone whose body cannot perform certain basic functions.
I pray God is good to you, just like he has been to me from last night till now.

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

What Have I Done For Me Lately?

Being overly available to people leads to misconduct.
People never value others till they have said 'good bye'. I have personally taken people for granted only to realise their worth after I've successfully made them feel unworthy. Then it dawns on me that I had taken them for granted for quite too long. Cherish the people who are available to you when you need them most..don't wait till they are gone to realise how important they were to you.

It's always better to start new friendships and begin anew than dwell on old ones where you can count the number of times they made you feel shitty but never make the old mistakes again. Forgive though. I beg to differ.

Forget the people who enter into agreement with others and pull out at the last minute without any  notice...Let God be the judge.

Let go of the people who ask you for personal stuff whilst asking other chicks out to the pub: sister you are worth more than that. You deserve to be asked out to the pub too and even more not only for personal stuff.

Forget the boys who disrespect the black sisters for the white sisters because they are sorting them out far away. Black is beautiful too, no disrespect to my white sisters.

Forget the boys who fall for the girls who buy them pizza, game tickets and tickets to shows:even when they claim they are committed to you:cheap boys.

Forget the boys who post  personal pictures of other girls on facebook, instagram, twitter because you can't see them and yet still profess to love you. What happened to loyalty?

Forget the boys who will never go out of their way to do stuff for you.
Would you please forget the boys who would never skip a meal for you, yet you lose sleep over them...

Forget the boys who never buy you a pin.
Sister wake up, you are holding on to nothing.

Sister get a life...
You are worth more than that...
Value yourself, if you don't, no one will.

Forget the boys who when you block, never try to reach you. Sister you deserve one who would fight to speak with you.

Again would you please forget the boys who take stuff from you to give to other girls. That's disrespect. Sister wake up, you deserve better.
As 2014 ends, will my sisters let go of the past and celebrate themselves.

I love Sinach's song:'I know who I am'.
Every girl should listen to it every morning before you step out. You are created in the image of God. You are God's favourite girl. Let no man make you feel worthless. You are beautiful, intelligent, you are someone's weed: addiction. You are someone's dream girl. Realise it now.

As 2014 ends, will my sisters ask themselves: 'what have I done for me lately?'
Sister it's never too late to do anything for yourself. Create your own personal brand, do something you have been wanting to do forever, get into your dream profession etc. Above all don't forget that God loves you even in the midst of it all.










When you go spending  forty five minutes at the salon, you get bored and your creative mind goes to work...lol. Inspired by my time at the salon tonight. This is for all the beautiful, strong sisters I know.






Sunday, 28 December 2014

If you ever kiss me...

I don't go looking for who to hug
I don't go looking for who to cuddle
I don't go looking for who to kiss
I just go all out for people
I just try to enjoy people.
Yet if you hug me and I like it,
If I like you and you ever cuddle me,
If you kiss me and I like it
If I like it and I like you
If I like you and I like how you make me feel
If the way you make me feel makes me daydream long after you are gone...
Even if it was a game to you,
Even if all you wanted was human contact
Once I didn't start it:
I didn't ask for it
I never pined for you
I would suddenly become clingy.
You know why,
because you awakened...
Clingy till you show me mad love
Clingy till you treat me like real shit and I decide I can't take it anymore.
If you ever kiss me and I like how you made me feel,
If I super like you and you ever kiss me...
If you ever kiss me,
I will bother you.
You don't want my kind of 'clingy'
Cast me not if you can't starr me,
Shine on me not,
If you cannot light up my life...
Do not kiss me
I'm a bee
I'm a worm
I'm an ant
I'm clingy
I'm so clingy,
If you ever kiss me,I will bother you.

Friday, 26 December 2014

I'm Not Lending You My Novel, I'm dashing It To You

Once a while u need to lend your used novel to others who need it. Find them useful: to the person  the novel avails itself to, to be read. Older, fairer, bigger or taller. Sometimes, the person wanting to read your novel has probably not read a good novel in a while. At other times, some people just like to read different novels. Others just want to try an African,British,or an American novel. So eventually your favourite  novel loses it's spot and becomes anothers favourite.  

Learn to let older people with boring lives have a read too. Learn to try other novels, especially when the novel you read begins to feel important than they should.
I do not  regret letting  go off my novel, knowing it craved to be read on another continent other than  Africa, by a different descent,  is comforting enough to want to even put it on the shelves. Knowing that it let another read it gives me strength to never
consider a third read.
Some people read the same novel for five years...hilarious. .how could you in these times.

Well I'm never reading the same novel thrice..no. First time I found it interesting, second time, I decided to try reading it again though I already knew the story line and all the plots.
Obviously how the story ended did not come as a surprise.  Sure I had read this novel before.
As always there was a second reader beside me just this time it was different.

A favourite novel turned the most hated...I once loved it, today I won't recommend it to anyone. It's not that bad but sometimes you do not want people reading novels that will cause them to cry even if it's a must read.
Dear you, I won't share or lend you my novel. I want to dash it to you.
It finds you a better reader. You consider it an interesting read too. I'm not lending you my novel. Actually I just dashed it to you!!













I stopped seeing the bad in people, I 've learned to see some good in them. It helps to understand them better. Glad tidings!!

Sunday, 21 December 2014

To block or not to block

Why do people block others on social media platforms? I'm still trying to figure out how you would block someone you call a friend out of anger or over a misunderstanding.

In the past I've blocked people for a few hours and I must confess I blocked people for good because they abused me verbally and the only way to get away from them was to block them. In that instance I was sure I was through with them and would never have any ties with them no matter what.

So I want to get into the minds of the people who  still block others and unblock them later. Recently,  someone I thought was a friend blocked me when I tested his pulse. He blocked and unblocked me later and after attempting to renew my friendship with him, he blocked me for good.  He later sent me an apology yet kept on  with the blocking business. I'm wondering if that person would ever be my friend again. Ask me:I really do not care, life goes on for me.

I honestly think if you block your ex, you are still a baby and have lots of growing up to do.
Blocking people does not solve problems.  I would rather not block you because I want you to see how cool I am if you choose to block me till christ returns.  I want you to still see that the sun shines in my world though you opted out and I want you to see how beautiful and happy I still am after you blocked me. Perhaps still see me with my new boyfriend and learn that I'm not that bad afterall. 'One man's spit is another man's weed'.

If you are blocking anyone be sure it's for life else grow up and know that, human beings would disagree no matter what. You don't have to block people to launch your new boyfriend, are you scared of them? 
You don't need to block people to have a life.
Afterall, you can always get a life on twitter, instagram and facebook. You don't need to block people because they hurt you. You don't  need to block people.  They aren't traffic lights to still wait. They probably stopped following you ages ago.

Honestly, if anyone decides to block me, feel free. You are the one who isn't cool with me. I made my peace with God and that's all that matters. I think blocking is a sign of weakness. It's infantile and it says I'm hurt and not cool with what happened.  
Block all you can, as many people as you wish but ask yourself, is it worth it??
To block or not to block?

Cuties Read a Book Fete

All is set for the maiden edition of the Cuties Readerfeast. The first,being called: Cuties Read a Book Christmas Fete. Nine days more to go and I will be seeking to incalcate the habit of reading and speaking English in some rural children aged 6-12 in the Awudome kwanta community near Ho.

It will be a two hour reading clinic followed by a food and drink party . Not every parent would be able to afford a nice christmas meal hence, I'm seeking to kill two birds with one stone. Every child gets to go home with a book and a souvenir to keep up with the reading habit till the next reading clinic.

I would like to say thank you to everyone who has been actively involved in this social enterprise.  Thank you to my sponsors both corporates and individuals.

Thank you to the Member of Parliament for Ho west: Honourable Kwesi Bedzra for believing in my dreams.
Thank you to Epp books. Thank you to my media partners especially volta star radio.

Thank you to friends abroad who saw the Cuties Read a Book Christmas Fete page on facebook  and my whatsapp display pictures and  decided to donate towards the project. You may call it a few pounds or dollars but I appreciate your support.

Thank you to the heads of the various schools involved in this project and the chiefs and elders of my chosen community. Thank you to my volunteers for getting involved even without incentives.

I'm looking forward to seeing my children on tuesday. I'm looking forward to taking them through this life changing experience and hope I will be able to leave them with beautiful memories.

This week, I'm sensitising people about building reading culture in some rural children. Please watch out for the media interviews.

I cannot do this alone. I'm hosting a hundred children. If you already pledged a donation, please send them now. Will acknowledge all sponsors both individual and corporate soon.  Still awaiting  your donations.  Call  to support me with cash, food, drinks,water, books etc.
Thanks.





This post has been inspired by my little brother: Elorm. You pushed me to begin this enterprise, I celebrate you now and always. ...x

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Whether you need him or not. ...

My dear sisters,
I appreciate your efforts and I respect your decision to be independent. Nothing feels better than being financially independent and not having to wait on a man to meet your needs. Nothing makes you feel more confident than a lady who is not dependent on a man in any way. It gives you a sense of self worth and prevents you from being exploited by any man.
If he can buy me a porshe, I can afford it too:so what's the point of having him in my life.

Yet my dear sisters damn what some famous actor said, damn what the married sisters are saying that you don't need a man. They are so married and telling you how much you do not need a man:why aren't they single then?
It is okay to be independent but you know what, after I have hassled all day and I'm reflecting on the day's events while I'm all alone, it won't be bad to get a foot rub, a kiss on the forehead, a cuddle or even a little attention from the man I like. I guess it would feel super good going to sleep beside him, waking up to see him and knowing he will always be there when I walk through the door: if he is indeed that reliable... We'll have to  ask the married sisters.

I've spoken to a few single women thirty and above who
Have admitted to feeling lonely when the day is finally over. Some are single by choice because they do not want to go through the stress that comes with dating or set themselves up for disappointment.  Some are single due to a previous relationship gone bad, others are single because they cannot afford to stoop so low to date any man for reasons best known to them. Whatever it is, I beg to differ but can we just stop the fake  sermon about being happy and able to live forever without a man please. .

The same sisters preaching this, go to bed feeling lonely and end up becoming bench warmers because instead of getting their own man, they end up getting one that is already another woman's man for the pleasure they can derive from him. Your money cannot give you that pleasure. If you plan to be celibate then please stick to it but don't build a wall around yourself and be hooking up with men secretly. You are contradicting yourself , you don't need a man but you need something he owns:hilarious.  Whether you need a man or not,keep that to yourself. If you are celibate don't do what those who are not celibate do. Don't do it with another woman's man  or even a dildo and go professing...

If we would learn to treat the guys with some respect just like we do to our fellow sisters irrespective of how independent we are... Perhaps, we would stop pushing our younger girls into thinking being independent means disrespecting a man. The married sisters did not disrespect the men to get where they are. The way some of you  do it is  so disgusting. Don't forget the values your mothers taught you at home. Some of these things depend on your upbringing.  Stop disgracing your mums. No disrespect. Whether you need him or not,  don't disrespect him. Thank you!

Sunday, 14 December 2014

Sometimes. ...

Not every friendship must end up in a relationship.  Sometimes people just want a talking mate.
Sometimes a laughing mate.
Sometimes someone they can have a drink with and talk gibberish
At other times someone to ask how their day went besides their mum.
Sometimes someone to do their assignments for them.
Sometimes, someone to write them a fat cheque or give them  some good cash.
Someone to pay  for them to get pampered at the spa.
Sometimes, a pizza eating mate or someone to buy them ice-cream though they can afford it. Not someone who expects them to constantly play mummy even when they lose their temper because they are the super coolest chick they know or the overly tolerant girl:no. Maturity isn't about age. Not someone to be their hand bag, stalker or regular...Stalking is an offence,  if you didn't know.  The little girl can teach you a lesson or  two too. The day they want more than these, they would state it. Don't assume 'you are' till it's been properly defined.  They can't waste your time when there was never 'you'. Know your place in people's lives and act accordingly.  It is not pride, it is called self respect. 
Friendship isn't by force.
Don't force people to be what they cannot be or do not want to be to you.
Ohhhhhhh and learn to accept and respect the decision of others. The fact that one girl turned you down doesn't mean it's the end of the world for you. The guys who end up insulting girls who turn them down, real gentlemen walk away with their heads high not  insulting girls.
Learn to accept that. Don't invest your emotions unless a person gives you a reason to. Obviously sometimes all they want is a friend they can do stuff with.

Saturday, 13 December 2014

He's Watching!


God comfort all those who are mourning and are unable to pray. God comfort those who through no fault of theirs  are going through the storm right now. May he console and heal the hearts that are broken and hurting because of one reason or the other. May he comfort especially those who have lost others to death and hurt because of their absence.  May he heal their broken hearts and more than supply their needs. God heal those who are ill and helpless. May he provide for the destitute and the helpless. Know that God is involved. When he is involved, the story ends  well. He never lets us go through something he knows we cannot take or bear. It may be a difficult time.Let  him in, let him be the judge, let him be at the center of it all. Let him dictate the pace. He's watching: you are not alone!



Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Celebrity Dear.....

Celebrity Dear,

I know you would be reading this, I'm sure you would read this.  I'm not expecting an apology and I won't apologise either. 
You see, the difference between the other girls you've dated and the ones who are all over you and your new sweet is: I jump for no one:celebrity or billionaire. 
Didn't even know you were a celeb :poor me. I'm glad that in the dark,you spotted an ordinary girl in a short skirt :no make up, no peruvian hair:no permed hair with the SHS look and chose me out of the lot. Yes I'm glad that you ignored all the girls and decided to be my friend. 
Thank you, but the fact that you are a celeb and cute with a dozen girls queing  to talk to you doesn't mean that if you ask me out to....I would go.
I like you I won't deny it. It feels like I've known you forever. I appreciate the long phone calls and deep conversations.
I appreciate the times you made me laugh. I'm glad that you find me cute and babyish. I'm glad that you actually thought I was a high school lever and actually think I'm seventeen...hilarious but it feels good.
Would you please stop treating me like I'm seventeen since you know in the real sense I'm not. Appearances can be deceptive. If you want me to be your small girl: I can be, but stop treating me like one. Can you please loosen up a bit because seriously no matter how sweet I've been, I'm going to psyche myself up to be rude for once.
Would you please let me see the difference between the mature boys and the immature ones.
Celeb or not, your so called old sweet as you would want to call me now, jumps for no one.
I will do what you want when I want to. Not when you want me to and when I start you will regret knowing me because you will begin to say I'm trouble. 
It's either you are slowing down or you are letting go.
Don't think I will be like your other girls, I'm different.  Please get my user guide so you can understand next time that I won't show up because I said so and I meant it. Would you please stop being dramatic over this. You are not on set. It's just you.....and I... Just get my user guide, if you aren't ready to study the guide, you are not ready to dance with this little girl.
I'm just not like the other girls. I'm no celeb here in Ghana or elsewhere but I would be your celebrity if you decide to starr me. Get my user guide, I'm not a baby.
Till then,
I'm done talking to you.....
Take your rush elsewhere.

It's me,
Girl@17.

I can see the sun

I can see the sun
I seethe sun...
It's rising slowly..
I can feel the heat from the sun
It's getting hot here..
Yet I asked for the sun to rise on me.
I did.

I can see the sun
The lacey clear clouds encompass it as it struggles to rise
Yellow sun
Orange sun is it..
Sunny shine
Rise on me
Rise and set forever on your child

I crave for the sun shine
I yearn to see it
I believe in the brightness that comes with it
All set
I wear my best beads
Adorned with my sarong and headgear
To dance in the sun.

Blow your trumpets
Beat your drums
Come dressed like me
Let's dance and feast till we are spent
Yes
When the sun shines is another time to celebrate
I can see the sun
I see the sun!!!

Monday, 8 December 2014

I'm grateful...


For some weird reason, last week was a tough one for me. I had challenges with everything that had to do with me:health, academics, business, readerfeast and the list goes on. At a point in time it felt like my God had deserted me. Yes, God was silent on me, watching me juggle though I had been involving him. The more I prayed the more my challenges increased. I looked pale and lean, my mothers worried so much. I felt weak yet I kept going. I couldn't read much, I couldn't talk much:I just listened. On the outside I looked tough as always with my new look:natural woman. Sitting infront of some adults and trying to convince them to release their children to me seemed a tough job as they bombarded me with questions.  Even sponsors didn't ask for that much. People I had been relying on to do stuff for me just did not seem interested.  I could not do my hair.  If you are my friend then you know what I've been through with my head and hair lately and why I decided to go back to the shs look: I find it hilarious that even with this look I still....I'm grateful. ..
I began to wonder what was happening.
I cried once, yes I did because everything seemed bleak. I lost my joy:I let my challenges steal my joy.
I thank the people who constantly tell me I can't make it. I'm grateful for the people who threw me a challenge ;'I'll give you a standing ovation if you are able to achieve this'. I faced the same challenge a little over a year ago when I was starting up my business. Yet I defied the unnecessary advice from people and went on to pursue my dream.
I thank the people who let me down in one way or the other. I'm grateful for the people who pulled out of our agreement at the eleventh hour and the people who held my hand yet left me in the middle of the road to walk alone.
Last week was probably the toughest. I'm grateful that today  my God proved to me how he's been watching silently.  He showed up for me: he always does when I'm in that state of despondency.  I'm still in the running when it comes to all the things I've been juggling.
I'm grateful. ..
Tough week means all will be well soon...Whilst still working at it, I hope that the scoffers and the skeptics can be proved wrong in the end.
I'm grateful for family:they seem to see the end when no one else does.
I'm grateful for 'good friends:quality friendships' we all need 'good friends' who truly understand the meaning of 'friendship' they stand by you till it's over.
I'm grateful for the people who pray for and with me: the person when I tell it's been a tough day and I'm in pain would just say:'can I say a prayer for you.' The other day, a woman at church said to me:'three nights ago when we gathered, they said to pray for you and there you are today. ' I found that mind meltingly sweet. God continue to bless all these people.
My apologies to the people who call and text yet I do not reply. My apologies to the people who thought I was being a tough cookie just because I seemed overly busy. Hope you understand I was wearing a mask: tough days.
I'm grateful to God for restoring my joy.
I'm grateful. ...



Friday, 14 November 2014

My Favourite Romantic Novel


A garden filled with plants and flowers: big and small plants , beautiful and adorable flowers.
I yearned  daily to  be picked as people walked in and out of my life's garden.
When you first picked me, you took me home,
Nurtured me and placed me in the most beautiful and expensive of vases.
I blossomed daily.

The crowd gathers in celebration of the beginning of the writing of our romantic novel.
From near and far they gather to witness the star that we make out of each other.
With excitement they come to savour the beauty and strength in the power of two hearts that beat as one.

Today, I cannot promise that our novel will be easy to write, but I can promise all my heart's devotion to make it a success, because I like to be your favourite romantic novel so you can flip through all my pages with laughter.

I cannot promise a lifetime of sunshine, rain, gold, riches or wealth.
Indeed all of these I cannot promise but I can promise to be your favourite romantic novel of a love that's ever  true.
To grow old writing and reading our novel together.
With smiles to chase every tear away,
To dance in the rain and to hold hands through each tomorrow.

If they ever wonder why I would take this big step with you,
Let me forever be proud to let the world know that on this day,
I married my best friend,
The tune to my heartbeat,
My favourite romantic novel!!












With permission from  Calabash and Calabashena I'm posting this wedding read I did for them :)
Congratulations Mr&Mrs.  Amartey.

This is also for Evelyn and Ronald Budu.

Saturday, 8 November 2014

Mend Your Glass

I was preparing the usual Sunday afternoon fufu and whilst I stirred it on fire, I had to stop once a while to wipe the tears that streaked down my cheeks. Life had thrown at me one of its worst moments again. The inevitable had occurred and I had to pick up the broken pieces of that glass I had held so dear to patch them up again.

      I knew the pain would not last forever yet there was no way I could end it. I cried out in the glare of people, especially my family. With time I learned to grieve within and not show it on the outside. I lost a lot of weight from a complete Uk size 12 to a size10. I only realised it on the morning when tragedy befell me and I was taken to the hospital.

    Yet after the dark clouds came my sunshine again. I picked up the broken pieces of the glass right after I got discharged from hospital.  On I began again,  to mould my glass back into shape.  A year on I have moulded it into a more beautiful and stronger glass. Only you know what went into moulding that vessel, and so protect it, even if you let oters drink from it.

  At other times, it is the people you allow access to your precious piece of ornament who actually  are the problem.  People who do not know the true essence of valuing what others give them because perhaps they themselves as individuals do not even know the worth of their own priceless assets,let alone learning to value others’ precious jewels.

No wonder the good Book says “don’t cast your precious pears before swines.”

     Or you know what, some people will always want to drink from different glasses. Yes and others would just not cherish your glass. So cherish your glass. Pick up the pieces and remould it.

Have you had your glass broken by some undeserving person? Have you carelessly given it out to the wrong people?  Or have you ever had your glass broken through no fault of yours?
Your glass could be anything that you value: Your life and trust, which you expect  others to cherish  too: a spouse or girlfriend, friends,career,business and many more.

My glass has been moulded, I'm drinking from it but this time I learned to let only deserving people drink from it lest they break it and cause me to go through the same traumatic experience that took lots of effort, determination, persistence and self worth to mould again.

Have you ever had your glass broken by some undeserving person? Have you carelessly given it out to the wrong people?  Or have you ever had your glass broken through no fault of yours?
Whatever it is, pick up the broken pieces and put them together. You never lose by doing so. You only hurt and learn.








A few hours ago, my two little friends; Getty and Ohemaa bid their mum farewell. A tough day it has been for them. Praying God comforts them even as they grow up without a mum. This is for the two  cuties:God will take care of you, yes I'm sure he will...xxxx

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Beautiful Soul

Some men are mean
When you find a good one cherish him.
Some men are wicked
When you find one who feels  guilty about pains he puts you through
adore him.
If he can't stand getting away with every wrong he does to you
appreciate his very person.
Such men are one in a million.
The ones who say sorry not because they are sorry but rather because they value you; who value  whatever it is you both share setting aside his pride and ego.
The ones who call you beautiful and not hot.
The ones who don't go calling other women beautiful when they know you cannot hear them.
The ones who do not go posting photos of other women even if you cannot see them.
The ones who stay faithful when you do not have it all yet decide to make you: 'their all'.
When you find that man who seeks to make you smile whilst he is in your life,
realize it early.
Such people happen to you only once in a life time.
They are one in a million.
They are called beautiful souls.
Not every soul is beautiful.
Would you rather have wealth ,fame and a handsome bloke with an ugly soul..?
When you find that beautiful soul
remember that they are rare.
Never let them slip through your fingers.
Adorn them with love ,respect and honour.
Feel lucky to have them.
You are lucky to have met a beautiful soul!!





This piece is for all the beautiful souls out there. Those that seek to make the lives of others beautiful, stress free and this world a haven for the people they meet no matter the circumstances. I've met some beautiful souls, Justice Adoboe who would leave all he has to do just to do my proofreading.
Patrick Ayumu who helped me get published on the website of radio XYZ with all the beautiful silhouettes to match my poems several times and  for making me smile every day.
Nii Armah Calabash who made blogging a dream come true for me:pushing me daily to post something new even when I did not want to and for believing in me.
A certain beautiful soul who always comes to my rescue when I need him:God bless you.
You who is my biggest fan in the dark, the only one I threaten and give reasons why those threats are not valid, the one I can display my split emotions on and yet would still wake up the following day to laugh and cry with me.
There are people you meet and all they do is bring out the best in you:for the laughter and good times. You know who you are!
I'm not celebrating any woman on here, no. Just the guys.
The list is quite a tall one.
If I didn't mention your name,
I just want to say beautiful souls, thank you!!

Thursday, 23 October 2014

Learn, Live, Try again!

 
 I have always maintained this stance and I would again. Sometimes people do not deserve another chance with the same people. I have come to learn one thing about people who profess change, they either do for a reason or are truly remorseful.
 
   When they indeed are remorseful, another chance to them means a chance to right the wrongs they did to you. But when it's for a reason, another chance means:a perfect opportunity to hit you where it hurts the most.
 
   Two of my friends got married in September after they both decided to give each other another chance though one had cheated on the other: a happy ending for two seemingly remorseful people. 
 
    Today, a friend at school told me the story of a colleague from work . She had dated this guy for a while, broken up with him and months on, they  had come back showing signs of remorse and professing change. However, six months into the relationship, the girl found out there was another woman. Several years older, wealthier and with kids: a single mother.
 
      Obviously, most men are unable to keep two women and not arouse suspicions from the one who thinks her man was a loyal lover.
 
 After learning about the other woman, she decided to put him to the test,  asking for a little break. A little break resulted in cutting off all modes of communication: The guy had not even bothered to call or ask why the sudden demand for a break in the relationship.
 
He just accepted the suggestion, to the amazement of the lady.  The most .Shocking part is he had the guts to officially make his relationship with the other woman public without wasting much time.
 
   All attempts on the girl's part to speak with the guy failed. So I asked my friend, “why test people when you already know they would fail?” This raises the question as to whether this lady really meant anything to the guy. His behavior clearly showed that he was obviously waiting for an opportunity to let her go or his comeback had been for a few moments of bliss.
 
   Every other day, we hear different stories of how people abuse the 'another chance' privilege given them by the people they betrayed .It happens in business relationships, marriages, friendships, families just to mention a few. Who are you giving another chance to? Do they deserve it? How would you know if you do not give them another chance? How would you know?
 
   After all, the good book entreats us to forgive those who offend us seventy times seven times(. 70x7) Wow! It's okay to forgive them when you find out they have betrayed you. In my opinion forgive them and move on lest you lose yourself in the process.
 
   Forgive, learn, move on and live again. We meet people who are sometimes so paranoid, bitter, violent, rude, stingy... We never bother to look into their backgrounds or past. We end up judging them even before having a chance to find out why they behave the way they do.
   Next time you decide to judge a paranoid partner, give yourself a chance to learn about the cause of their paranoia.  Next time you decide to talk ill of that boss who is always in a rotten mood, give yourself a chance to find out about them. It will help you to understand them better and live with them in peace.  Faults or no faults, everyone deserves to be happy. 
   After learning your lessons, live your life to the fullest again.  The people who betrayed you are obviously having a party and won't shed a tear for you. So why waste your emotions on them. If the betrayal hurts, give yourself time to heal. Surround yourself with good people. Indulge in an activity that makes you happy. 
   When I'm sad I write and it feels better. What do you do when you are sad? Perhaps listen to good music. Don't displace the anger and hurt from the betrayal on others. You might end up losing a huge contract or even a good man or woman. There's no point pushing other deserving people away because someone who has no respect for himself disrespected you by wasting 'another chance' with you. 
   Do not beg people to love you. There's a special someone for everyone.  Do not mistreat others because someone did it to you. I believe again that those who do will have their own share of it too. With time you will learn to believe in others again.
   There will be people who would definitely deserve your loyalty, smiles, generousity, your time, love, commitment and who would not take it for granted. So put it behind you: 'choose not to waste time with stupid people' who fail to learn the meaning of friendship, honesty, loyalty and staying true to themselves.
   Try again: do not lose your sweetness because someone betrayed you. If you do not try, you will never win!






This is is the edited version of yesterday's write up. I'm dedicating this to: Piqtures and if you are feeling betrayed or have had the 'another chance' privilege you gave to someone abused. This is for you.....x

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

I Paid to Pee


I woke up at 3am on a Monday five months ago and my body could not perform one of the easiest tasks all normal human beings do.
 
After almost three hours of trying hard as if  to push during child delivery, I could not take the pain any longer. As I tried harder  my strength began to fail.
 
 I began to cry:  I had prayed and prayed yet it felt like my prayers had not gotten to the old bearded man up there beyond the skies.
 
I screamed out loud. I kept screaming for God knows how long till I managed to wake my entire household up.

Initially my Dad even thought I was up to one of my usual morning jokes of waking up and screaming because I felt good. How I wished it was just a joke: yet it was not This was reality, I could not pee.
 
My parents after learning that i had not peed since 3am or so decided  I had to see a doctor immediately. I decided to take a quick shower before the hospital and whilst I got ready to be taken to the hospital, I kept reminding God that I needed to pee.
 
I prayed silently in my distress;"Daddy, this condition is not unto death; let your name be glorified." I kept repeating this even when we arrived at the hospital.
 
 At this time I had stopped crying as I had no more strength to cry . All I wanted was to pee. My abdomen felt like a bag of water; walking was an impossibility and  as hard as I tried, I walked bending down.
 
My case was treated as an emergency considering the fact that i could not walk and the discomfort I  felt. The doctor asked;"how are you?" but  I could not answer but just shook my head and explained to him that could not pee.
 
Amazing how a nurse stole that chance to advice me even before the doctor began the procedure to alleviate my pain. I could not lie still and as I lay down waiting I was almost lying flat on back but slightly turned on my side with my thighs lifted up and my feet resting  on the bed.

"I want you to feel better, I need you to lie still, open your legs and let me help you ok,” The doctor said slowly whilst standing beside me. I could not see what he was doing, my face was turned to the other side and with the pain i was going through, turning to look at him was not an option. "Ok" I whispered.
 
I only heard him saying a relative had to be present. Though his shift was  over, he wanted to make sure I was relieved before he went away, else it would mean waiting for the morning doctor to arrive.
 
 I knew it was a couple of minutes past six when we left home but could not tell the time the doctor was seeing me.
I lay still anxious to feel better. I only did not know what to expect but I knew no matter what, I would be safe. "Daddy take the wheel; Jesus take the wheel,” I prayed silently.
 
 I felt a sharp pang in my lower abdomen or so. It felt like a needle and I screamed out loud. What was it? An injection, am sure I assured myself. Yet this injection took forever and I kept screaming. "Sorry" I heard the doctor's voice say. Then whilst I kept feeling the pain of whatever it was, so did the screams become louder.
 
The doctor tried to quiet me down but I did not mind him. I could not cry and the deeper and more painful it felt the louder I screamed.
 God knows how long that lasted but  after sometime my bladder began to feel empty as well-gradual relief.
 
Wow! I wanted to feel better but the pain of carrying urine that I could not pass  was exchanged with another. I could not see anything my eyes were shut and I was simply not interested in knowing what was being done to my body. I only felt the pain of the piercing and cuts whatsoever.
 
Moreover, my hands also started sending signals of the pain they were also going through,  but that was nothing compared to the one I had felt earlier.
 
My urine had been drained. By 10 am I was wheeled to a ward and time after time I watched as the nurse came to check on me and check the drip I was being given.
 
Gradually I dozed off getting used to all the pain and ache my body surrender to. Completely sure that this would be over soon and even more optimistic that I  would come out safe and strong.
 
As I lay on that bed, waking up once a while, conscious of my new environment; In a hospital and not on my bed at home.
 
Life is a gift I thought. Waking up and being able to pee on your own without having your urine drained with a catheter is a blessing. I remembered all the days I had woken up and peed freely, yet had not cherished the blessing of being able to pee. I remembered all the other times I had peed on my own and had not said thank you to the one who freely gives pee and wills us to pee easily.
 
 All the days I had not experienced the pain of urine retention and even all the times I took this gift of life for granted.
 
Today, I cherish this gift more than ever. I lay thinking about the long hours of the dawn; of the people who meant the world to me whom I thought I was going to leave behind early on in the day if this urine retention was going to kill me.
 
 I was sure of one person who would not care if I lived or not and that was the boy who had dumped me a few weeks prior to this time.
 
Did it matter if he cared. I only cared about getting better though it would have been nice to have someone special care about me in my condition. Then I remembered I was being ungrateful.
 
I had a family who were eagerly praying for me to be safe: A mum who hated seeing her daughter in such distress; a  sister who I was sure would miss me for a dozen and more reasons and a brother who cherished me and would move mountains for me if he could in this situation; a supportive bunch of special people; my favourite girlfriend and over a hundred messages of well wishes from friends and flowers to say speedy recovery.
 
What a life! Little but big blessings of life taken for granted. As the days stretched  and I recovered quickly from the "cuts and needles" as I call it, I learned to appreciate these little but big blessings of life. Peeing freely on your own; family: friends; waking up to a new    day fit and strong; smiling; speaking sofly to someone; hugging; laughing amongst others.
 
Some people struggle and pay to do all these; if  you do not pay to do them; you are blessed. Let’s learn to appreciate that life has to offer. Enjoy them whilst you have them;
I paid a price just to pee; let’s cherish the things God has blessed us with;
 
These are  life's gifts.








 

Singing 'Amazing grace
               How sweet the sound
               I once was lost
               but now I'm found
               a hopeless case
                an empty place
                 if not for grace'
             
         
    Exactly a year ago, on this day 30th September I went through my 'cuts and needles'.
Today I thank God for what happened to me. Though very painful, it taught me some very special lessons. I didn't think I would pull through it. God is who I want him to be no matter the storm I'm faced with. I am grateful for the gift of life.
Grateful to be able to live like any normal human being.
I'm grateful for a special gift that God blessed my family with. Happy first anniversary to Emefa.
Thank you to: everyone who was there for me, prayed with me, sent me gifts and well wishes.
To Nana who was amazing throughout, special people like you are rare to come by.
To my very supportive family.
To the amazing woman who stood in the gap for me.
To my favourite girlfriend who fixed my hair even in my distress.
Celebrating Emefa
Celebrating me now and always!!!

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Love Note:Damn Your Imperfections I like You!

                                            
    It's funny how it takes just a few minutes to meet and like someone:  A few magical moments to get acquainted and then a few more days to learn and discover stuff about them.
     Interesting stuff, deep and glorious moments; distressing times and embarrassing moments: Yet we share secrets and live each day keeping each others’ secrets; crazy stuff. Even those embarrassing revelations we would never share ordinarily, the liking for each alone makes us break the lead over them. The failures and successes of the past and the present.
With time gradually we move on to the Good Friends’ stage.  He's checking on you every morning because he wakes up with you on his mind. His number flashes across your phone's screen more than twice after the early morning check up call. Your conversations become deep and longer; forty five minutes to an hour and more on the phone talking about nothing important.
      He begins to ask you to every place and event in the city-The plays, the movies: the list is endless. Every Friday   night, you are occupied. Not so much with the boys or girls but with that special friend. Sitting over a drink or having pizza and having funny conversations that leave you  laughing really hard and refreshed.
 You draw the curtains for the night only after a big  hug and a cuddle. Oh not forgetting a big kiss on the cheek that seems brief but you find yourself wondering why he kissed you. All of a sudden you have someone thinking about you even before you have the chance to think about yourself in the mornings. He seems sweet and also sensitive to your every need and quite observant he can count every pimple on your face daily and tell which ones are new. You are amazed that he notices your nail polish as often as you repaint them in different shades.
      At a point you are wondering if there's someone who knows you better than you know yourself. It’s amazing how he can tell the change in your body- if your boobs grow big a few days before your period. When you are ill he is too; if you are down he is too. How quickly life has changed for you. It feels like you are on cloud nine every single day. You have found the only one who listens without judging you.
He is the one person who is annoying sometimes because he listens and comforts, more than judging or advising you. It's like you have no flaws at all- Perfectly made for you and you for him. Your emotions are well fed and your physical needs well met.
Lingering sweet kisses, long warm hugs, special cuddles, unique baby fights and the list goes on:  The two of you have become, in each other’s eyes, Flawless, “the most beautiful of all girls”, “the most handsome of all the guys”, “the sweetest dude ever”, “the coolest girl ever and the most dazzling personality ever”:  Blinded by magical moments.
     Are you really perfect for each other? Are you perfect for me? Am I really the most beautiful girl on earth? Are you the most handsome of all the guys? At least in my eyes you are and in yours am sure I am the coolest girl ever.
Wow....not because I really am....not because I do not get mad at you..not because we never fight..not because am without flaws..I am human too..you just got blinded, affected by my whole being and life and keep me on my toes to be at my best every time...

    If I was cool and am the coolest girl now, you drove me to be...if I am the most beautiful girl you've ever known, that's because  I met a beautiful soul inside and out I cannot afford to be anything else. So you see, I do not have the nicest thighs on earth. At least if we conducted a search for the most beautiful thighs you would find out that mine would probably be the tenth most beautiful. Yet in your eyes, mine are the most attractive.
You fail to see the scar and mark on it. I fail to see that you are not the most handsome of guys too. Your body is beautiful but it’s probably not the most beautiful in the world.
 I do not go chasing after the world...I search the world to find that which seems beautiful to me. Whether small or big; short or tall; thin or huge;  ...I am not perfect and you aren’t either.
We just found each other perfect...blinded by whatever it is that appears to us.
   If you find too different people together, younger or older, so perfect yet imperfect together, with tons of flaws yet they can't see...never wonder again. They are just suffering from,  'Damn your imperfections, I like you' because 'damn your imperfections, I like you!!                                            


Last Saturday 20th September, my cousin :Edem turned his 'Damn your imperfections, I like you' into a walk down the aisle. 'You are truly lucky to have found each other. Congratulations Mr&Mrs. Agra!!

Posted this on Monday 22nd September 2014 Blogger gave the wrong date.

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Beneath the mask

 Beneath the mask

Life makes you awkward
Sometimes life feels meaningless
Awkward life cannot be understood to the fullest
The twists;
The turns;
The ups;
The downs.
The sweet;
The sour;
Sunshine and rainfall
Beautiful clear days
Dark muzzy days
All beneath life's mask.
 
Whilst some  live life just as it is, but the seasons of life throw at us various challenges.
 
The other day, in the pub,  I met a neighbour  I hardly speak with, but for greetings, he stole the opportunity to tell me his opinion of me.
Yes,  we have lived in the same neighbourhood for years:  
 
'I have always seen you as the girl who never goes anywhere except for a reason. When you step out, it's to go to a particular place, if not then I hardly see you,' He opined.
 I nodded as if in total agreement. Encouraged, he told me  all he had been wanting to say to me:
 
 'I also know that you don't walk about smiling yet as soon as you see or meet someone and have to exchange pleasantries you wear that charming smile' Ooops! Did he really think my smile was charming. I smiled at his comment and he screamed;'that's the smile am talking about..beautiful! So I've loved saying ‘hi’ to you anytime, any day. I also notice that though your look is expressionless, you laugh a lot once you begin a conversation. I was beggining to wonder if you had any worries at all in life.' Then it struck my mind how wrongly people read the gestures of others and again I was inspired to sit behind my computer to write this.
 
So a smile gave someone the impression that I had absolutely no worries in life; I think that is how it ought to be.
 
How it ought to be; smile as much as you can. It's good for you blah blah blah.  I've come to appreciate now a lesson I picked up several years ago whilst taking part in 'Miss Legon' which I probably took for granted back then:
Practice your smile; yes if you do not; you will look awkward when you smile. Most of the people with beautiful smiles are those who have practised smiling even before they smiled to other people. So the next time you see someone smile beautifully, remember they practised their smiles in their closets; somewhere smiling just to themselves and no one else.
 
When you smile all alone by yourself, its easier to smile for no reason at all. That means, whether the sun shines or not, whether the rain comes or not or whether you encounter potholes on the  road of life ;you will still have a reason to smile.
 
 So that, one would have to peel off your mask to realise that ordinarily you have no reason to smile. That you smile is not an absence of potholes on your life's road, neither is it the abundance of rain on the plants that life has taught you to nurture nor the absence of battles on the field of life’
 
Rather your smile only says that 'I am tough; I can do this; I can finish writing my life's story and still have an excellent script.'
 
On the surface;let the smiles show. Smile and smile and smile. It's good for you. Leave all the challenges of life beneath the mask, they will go away eventually.
Let the mask  depict to the world the 'tough you' who still smiles in spite of all and that will be exactly how you feel inside.