Even If It Takes Time....

So a few months ago, I decided to  cut my hair. First beginning with a perm cut and gradually, getting a lower cut (Like Men usually do). I remember how people held diverse views.  My Alice was the first to mention that I did not look pretty. Getting a lower cut had not been a part of the plan but situations compelled me to get it. If you are close to me, you probably know why. 

Over the months, I have watched my hair grow back slowly. I must admit that,  it is one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. At a point in time,  I regretted it. Gradually,  I have come to accept what cannot be changed.  I probably looked different but in the end its grown out of the short hair category.  I'm looking back and thinking getting a hair cut has taught me something. 

Sometimes in life, we decide to do something extraordinary and different from what we are known for. We make certain decisions, venture into new fields , do away with certain people, relocate to a new place, leave a particular job amongst others just to begin a new chapter.  Often, whilst on that new chapter, we look back on the past which looks  more appealing most of the time. It usually doesn't have the beauty of the one we leave behind. There comes a time when you are even tempted to go back.

This occurs in various areas of our lives; relationships, education,  employment etc. Today, I want to let you know that, the beginning of anything new is quite a task. Starting a new business isn't easy. Deciding to leave your relationship or relocate to a new place isn't easy. Yet, that is what you have to do to get where you are going. Damn the moments of regret and difficulty, you will pull through.  Just be patient. That is a virtue you cannot do without.

I have no idea what it you have set out to do but all I know is You can do this. No condition is permanent.  Keep going. Whatever it is you have set out to do, you can do it even if it takes time. You can't give up now, keep moving!

Friday Night....

Some hearts are bleeding and hurting tonight.
Some people cannot see a single star from where they stand but one thing is obvious, it is just a phase. Even if it takes time....With time, you will heal.
God comfort those who are mourning tonight and the entire weekend.
God comfort you like he did to Naomi when she lost her sons....Amen.!!

A Feeling Or Another Pose For The Cameras?

Lately the trend has been that people take photos with their significant other either helping them put on their shoes or depicting a particular act of love or care. How do you not kiss your wife every day but choose to kiss her just to take photos? It really doesn't make sense.

When people are attracted to each other or in love, it is natural to want to make your partner feel comfortable and do stuff for them so it doesn't matter where you are. Whether in public or in private, you can't help playing with your wife's hair or kissing her forehead. 

In our part of the world, you see a woman struggling to carry shopping bags whilst her man walks comfortably beside her. (So annoying).  A woman carries a baby at her back and still holds two bags yet her husband walks beside her gorgeously. (Most annoying part is they are both chatting. ..wow!)

Elsewhere, In the Western world,  the act of treating women like a lady comes with being a man. Things  such as  holding out the door is just another duty or responsibility as well as
pulling chairs for a woman to get seated, helping a woman hang her jacket amongst others. You can't imagine pulling out your own  chair to sit down whilst on a date with a guy (If you are not my man, good for you! )

In our part of the world,  you hardly see men kiss women in public. Not even a peck, random forehead, hand kisses or holding each other.( Eeeerrrrmmm well I get it...culture it is!!) Holding out the door, pulling the chair amongst others is considered such a task by some dudes in this part of the world.  (Some  do  though. Bless the dudes  who do.)

Now what's this taking photos doing the Pda just for the camera's? (Mostly newly weds).  Why would you want to do that? My man has got to help me wear my shoes every day or help carry the shopping bags all the time whilst I walk gorgeously like a queen beside him every time I go shopping and he's available. He must not do it just for show.
Caring and loving someone is something that needs to come naturally from within unless you are acting. You don't just pose for the cameras because that's what is currently trending. No! Feel it...act it!

My sister told me the story of an elderly woman who was entering a pharmacy after a young guy of about eighteen entered. She was mad at the young man for not opening and holding out the door for her. She told the young man that, his duties as a man included- holding out the door for a woman irrespective of their age.
I think Mothers should teach their boys from home because  those are everyday things and not necessarily a preserve for people who like each other. A lady's got to be treated like one any day. (Bless all mothers who have done such a good job with their boys... I doff my scarf to you!) I also think that more men in our part of the world should  carry out such acts and do the pda often not just for taking pictures.  Pda should be a way of life else don't do it at all. (How do you just show off in pictures? )  Well just my personal opinion.

If treating women like ladies is a part of you...then this piece is for you.  You know yourself!!

The Sun Will Shine Again

When the darkness lingers
and it seems to have lingered on longer
than you expect...
when there's a promise of sunshine
yet you never seem to see a ray of it..
When the pain becomes too much
your aches and hurt cannot be soothed or healed..
When the sun takes forever to rise
In that situation. ..
There lies a road
a road to freedom
a road to happiness
a road to a place of rest
a road to peace....
A caged bird will definitely break free one day...
In the hands of the enemies of man,
a man's strength is realized..
A quest that changes you..
Not now can you let your crown fall
What will happen?
The sun will shine again!!

This piece is for my siblings

         and

My sister from another Mum.
I still remember how you walked to me when I was sitting with Alice. You said you would be my friend.  I did not know that it was a promise of friendship that would last beyond ten years.
We bicker,
we cry
we laugh
we even stop talking for hours.
Of course you live in Panama.
You know one thing I desire for you right?
A good man to make you his wife.
Happy birthday my lala.

Sometimes......

Sometimes it takes an irreversible mistake to awaken you from your slumber.
Sometimes it takes a bad experience to appreciate good times
Sometimes it takes a little stupidity to realise you could have done better.

Sometimes you have to encounter ugly people to appreciate what you have
Sometimes you walk a mile before regretting that pebble you did not pick up at the start of your walk
Sometimes you've got to have regrets to learn......
It just happens sometimes.

Errrrrmmm someone tell me why people still go to movenpick lounge on Friday nights.  Makes no sense if all tables have been reserved but are empty yet people have to stand around. Well,  just thinking aloud.

Friday Night....
Drink some wine, spend time with your favourite people....
Enjoy your weekend!

Christian Brothers And Sisters!!

Everything that has a beginning does come to an end. It really doesn't matter what it is.  Day after day, christians strive to win souls for the Kingdom. Yes, one of the duties and responsibilities of a child of God is to propagate the gospel. We live life in awe of our creator and the fact that we won't live here on earth forever.

This is not my style but today, I want to touch on a very sensitive subject. I  have just noticed one thing about  certain christian brothers and sisters.  We all claim to be serving the same God but of course we do belong to different denominations and churches. Lately,  one is seen as an enemy once we do not belong to the same church or denomination.  Is this right in the sight of God? To the extent that men of God are fighting each other  and hating each other? The members are helping in the fight too. Of course if  your father detests a particular man of God it means you have to detest him too.

May I ask, aren't we all supposed to be serving the same God? Why the discrimination and division  at this time?

Some Christian brothers and sisters are doing a better job of scattering rather than gathering.  Some people will simply not go to church because of the so called attitude and behaviour of people who claim to be active in church. Too much gossip, too much backbiting,  too much discrimination, hypocrisy amongst others.  A Christian brother's attitude at home is different from his attitude at church. At church he's a saint. At home he's known as a really mean person. The same brother goes trying to win someone to church and he expects to achieve results? Really?

Some Christian brothers actually think they are better than others. Perhaps because they sing at church and the other just goes to listen to the word. Once they are church workers, they are better than the other who isn't. They act it, speak it and cease every single opportunity to make it known that they are better church brothers and sisters.  Please let me ask you, are you allowed to judge? Using the Bible as the standard for your life?

How can so called brothers and sisters ride in their cars to church or close from church and ride in their cars alone when others need a ride? Is that what the Bible intructs us to do? There are people in the church who need help yet there are people in the church who can offer them help but will never do it. What are we learning then?

These days, there's even discrimination inside the church.  A particular member is more dear to the church than another is. One brother is more important to the man of God than the other. Responses to members are based  on the level of the importance one attaches to the other. This is happening even in some churches?  Thought church was supposed to be a haven. Why should this be happening in the church?

My dear Christian brothers and sisters,  church is supposed to be a haven. Church is supposed to make people feel better.  Church is a place for repairing people.  Church is the place where people with no self worth go to acquire a sense of worth. Church is a place where the rejected can be accepted.  Can we stop with the hypocrisy or close down if we can't because then our purpose as Christians is being defeated. Win a soul and keep them,  don't win a soul only to drive them away. If you are a leader, be a father for all and do not discriminate. We are heirs of the Kingdom,  our role is to love one another. Let us make the impact of being Christian brothers and sisters be felt in a positive way. God bless all the Christian brothers and sisters who are doing it right. 

When They Go The Extra Mile.......

We live in times when we all need each other to carry us through to our destination. There's no one man in this world who would say they do not need anyone. We all need somebody. 

Most of the time, it counts to know someone because they facilitate things for us and make our lives easier.  A man cannot get married alone: he needs the presence of family and friends.  A man cannot hold a funeral alone: the presence of loved ones makes it easier to pull through the grieving period.  I doubt if there's any one man who has held a funeral alone. Even one man cannot carry the casket hence the need for pallbearers.

In business we need someone. In educational pursuits, someone can make a difference. In ill health,  you need someone.  Everyone  needs a helper at some point.  When we find help or that helper what do we do?

People are forced to always be at their best when they feel appreciated. Help should be followed by gratitude. Appreciation for the help received by the recipient.  Saying thank you is one of the simplest things in life but I just realized that showing appreciation and saying thank you is an art you need to acquire.

I have wondered countless times how people live their lives without mumbling a 'thank you.' I just discovered that mostly,  it is just missing in the vocabulary of people. You cannot force them to say it and nothing will cause them to say it. Even the Bible says to give thanks in all things. I think it is  crass behaviour not to say thank you.  When a girl agrees to go on a date with you and the date is over, a thank you won't spoil anything. When the waiter finally brings your order, a thank you won't change the fact  you are in charge of paying your own bills. When a guy holds out the door for you, it's just polite to say thank you.

I remember the story of a friend who after so much persuasion from a group of guys in her church, decided to play hostess to them by inviting them over for lunch. A few days on, she looked forward to hearing that phrase from them. Afterall,  she had put in so much  effort, time and energy to  cook the meal. When she was not getting it, she decided to report the guys to their father.  I laughed when I heard the story though I thought it was rather too extreme.

I think parents should inculcate into their children the habit of saying thank you at an early age. People should learn to use that phrase often irrespective of their status in society. It doesn't cost much to say it. You lose nothing if you say it. It is a polite thing to say and should be said in all situations even when you are the employer and they are the employee. Saying it often shows who you are. When you finally get that favour from someone, don't forget to say thank you.

In a world where people are busy yet they go the extra mile to do something for you, it is just polite to say thank you. It makes people want to do more for you. Next time someone goes out of their way to do something for you,  even if it's the most minute thing in the world, stop with the crass behaviour, learn and always remember to say thank you.  It really costs nothing to say.

So after blogging early on tonight,  obviously on the same topic,  in my attempt to achieve perfection, 'editing' I lost my write up  which had already been posted due to issues with my internet provider. Who else but 'mtn'
I had already shared the link and a few people had obviously read it before I lost it.
Obviously one of the challenges I face is that once I write, and I have to reproduce the same piece I completely forget what I wrote the first time.
So this is the best I could come up with though I almost dispaired. I hope it still gets my message across.

Again, its Friday night....
Have a drink with your favourite person,  talk gibberish and kiss like there's no tomorrow.
Enjoy your weekend! !

When They Go The Extra Mile.....

We live in times when we all need each other to carry us through to our destination. There's no one man in this world who would say they do not need anyone. We all need somebody. 

Most of the time, it counts to know someone because they facilitate things for us and make our lives easier.  A man cannot get married alone: he needs the presence of family and friends.  A man cannot hold a funeral alone: the presence of loved ones makes it easier to pull through the grieving period.  I doubt if there's any one man who has held a funeral alone. Even one man cannot carry the casket hence they need for pall bearers.

In business, we need someone. In educational pursuits, someone can make a difference. In ill health,  you need someone.  Everyone  needs a helper at some point.  When we find help or that helper what do we do?

People are forced to always be at their best when they feel appreciated. Help should be followed by gratitude. Gratitude for the help received by the recipient.  Saying thank you is one of the simplest things in life but I just realized that showing appreciation and saying thank you is an art you need to acquire.

I have wondered countless times how people live their lives without mumbling a 'thank you.' I just discovered that mostly,  it is just missing in the vocabulary of people. You can't force them to say it and nothing will cause them to say it. Even the Bible says to give thanks in all things. I think it is  crass behaviour not to say thank you.  When a girl agrees to go on a date with you and the date is over, a thank you won't spoil anything. When a guy holds out the door for you, its just nice to say a thank you.  When the waiter serves your order a thank you won't change the fact that you are paying your own bill.

It doesn't matter what you are getting out of someone,  thank you is just appropriate for all situations.  Don't pester someone so much for a favour only to get it and not show appreciation.  It doesn't matter your status in life, it is crass behaviour not to say that phrase. I remember the story of a friend who played hostess to a group of young men from church after several persuasions from them. She finally invited them to lunch. Days on, she waited for them to just say a simple thank you. Afterall she had put so much time, effort and energy into cooking the meal. She went the extra mile to cook them lunch and went the extra mile to report them to their Dad for not saying thank you. I found that a bit extreme though.

People should learn to say thank you.  It doesn't cost much. People should learn to use that phrase often, it takes nothing away from you. Parents should inculcate in their children the art of saying thank you.  It is just polite to say it. It makes a person want to do stuff for you always.  It tells people who you are.

The next time someone goes the extra mile for you, don't forget we live in a busy world where people  only make time to go the extra mile for you. Stop with the crass behaviour, remember to say thank you.  You lose nothing when you say it.

Buhari declares his assets, hehehehehe.

Busy week, finally its
Friday night...

Have a drink with your favourite person,  talk gibberish, forget the worries of the past days and kiss like there's no tomorrow.  Enjoy your weekend! !

Your Time Will Come Too!!

'While the world looks upon me
as I struggle along..
they say I've got nothing but they are so wrong..
in my heart I'm rejoicing
Oh how I wish they could see..
thank you Lord for your blessings on me.

There's a roof up above me
I've a good place to sleep
there's food on my table
and shoes on my feet
you gave me your love Lord and a fine family. ..
thank you Lord for your blessings on me'

Thank you Lord by the Easter brothers is my opening song.

There are moments in our lives when there's this one particular thing that we desire and that one thing if it happens,  can change our entire lives. Call it a glitter of hope; a dream you have held so dear. Something that means the world to you, that thing that just comes to give you a perfect ending to this script you are writing. It does not necessarily mark the end but it symbolises a step towards the end.

For some, it is the gift of a child, for others, it is an academic dream, for some, a significant other and mostly everyone has that one thing they crave for which is seen as a necessity in their lives. I mean without it, life isn't exactly meaningless but mostly, they are considered incomplete by the observers on this field of life. Sometimes in life we wait forever for those little but big things.

The other night, at the feast of miracles,  someone I look up to told his story. It had been a long wait for his family.  Twelve years and the wait had not been smooth or easy. It had been a journey of hard work, prayer, waiting and tolerance.Enduring of insults and name calling, I'm sure there were lonely days and nights as well. I'm even sure there were sad and depressing times. I cannot envisage the tears they had to cry yet on the outside, it probably never showed because though we all have battles we are fighting, most of us do a good job of looking perky.

In the end, the long wait was worthwhile.  God came through for them. Mind you, he had been praying for others who always received that one thing that he had constantly been praying for. Yes to the scoffers he probably seemed ridiculous.  How do you help someone to acquire something you do not have? Yet it is in helping others, that the world would actually see what it is, that you are made up of.

Is there something you have been waiting for all your life for? Would that thing change your life? Would it  be the sun you have been waiting for to shine on you again? Could it be that rainfall  that brings refreshment to you? Whatever it is, no matter how long it has taken, just know that, your time will come too. Keep going!
Keep praying, keep working at it, keep helping those God has placed in your lives. Just keep doing it right, there's nothing impossible under the sun. Your time will come too!!

You inspire me.
Celebrating with my Daddy in the Lord as he celebrates the goodness of the Lord today.
Congratulations Rev and Mrs. Yalley.

Scars and Stars: Letter From Lem De Asi

Dear Little Sister,
As your big sister in this school of life, I deem it necessary to send you this piece to enlighten you on how my journey has been thus far.

I met your brother inlaw barely a year ago at the gym where I had just enrolled for three days. He worked as a gym instructor in addition to his regular job. I must admit he swept me off his feet with his muscle toned body. Days on, I looked forward to my time at the gym as if my life depended on it. It was always a delight to see him at each session.

A week on, he asked me out to dinner and I accepted to go. My dear, I had not been asked out by a man to dinner in years to even have me pay for it. I had gotten used to going to dinner alone. I went to the movies alone, attended shows alone and went shopping alone. I had become comfortable with being alone; just me. My life became a routine, you could predict me. I went to work, then to the gym and back home. If I had to go out I went alone or with girlfriends.  So  all week, I looked forward to our dinner date and went shopping for new clothes for our date. When saturday finally came, I met him at the Golden Fork restaurant. We spent hours just dining and talking. By the time our dinner date was over, I went home thinking about him and replaying episodes of our time together.

He began calling me regularly. We were always in touch all day and would chat about everything via text or regular phone call. After the gym, we ended up going home together. It was mostly to my place to watch movies or to eat and talk. I loved how he paid particular attention to my whole being.  He treated me like a delicate doll that needed proper taking care of. Gradually, we began to do all that two new people in love do. My dear girl, love is sweetest at its initial stages. Kissing him felt like it was my first kiss ever on planet earth. We would kiss, cuddle and I ended up getting a foot rub almost every night.

One night, after the gym, I fell ill and your brother inlaw wouldn't leave my side. The following day, he called in ill at work and stayed all day with me to make sure I got better. He cooked the meals, cleaned the house and every five minutes or so, he  would ask;'baby are you okay?' I made him taste my sweet cherry that night and ohhh, it had never tasted better. That night, he said to me;'baby would you marry me?'  'Oh no, Errol, not so soon'. I replied. He drew closer to me and kissed me passionately and then held my left hand looking into my eyes and insisted.'Baby, marry me please, I promise that making you happy will be my number one job.' That night, I was stunned beyond description and couldn't talk much. Deep down, I was happy.  For once, a guy wanted to marry me so badly even at my age.

Lem, I was thirty five and had dated lots of men. The rich, the handsome, the famous and the best of men but none was ever willing to settle down with me. Our relationship never lasted beyond a month, though they were good to me financially. When I met Errol, I was just beginning  to close the chapter on  dating. I had come to learn that dating was not for me. If only I could have a baby and raise my child, I would be just content.

Yet, a month after meeting Errol, though I had declined several times, after proving to me how serious he was about wanting to try this with me and after persistently asking me to give it a try, I agreed.  I would lead him to my family to let him introduce himself as the man in my life and to declare his intentions towards me as is done in the Ghanaian traditional society. Errol insisted on going ahead with the traditional marriage but I thought it was too soon as I was still getting to know him. So we went on with the introduction and knocking. I had several thoughts running through my mind; was he for real, Or was he in this for what he could gain, did he genuinely love me? Well, I would not know until I have tried. I would give this a try and see how it goes was my final conclusion.

At this time, I was speaking with my two girlfriends who had varied opinions. One thought I should go ahead, One thought I should slow down but  go ahead with the 'knocking rites' and break it off when I realise it isn't working. Errol and I decided to go ahead anyway.

We decided to move into my place, meaning Errol had to change houses. We made that decision because though I liked Errol, I couldn't bring myself to live at his place.  I didn't  find it decent enough.  Living together was fun initially. Again, my dear little sister, love is sweetest when you are just beginning.  Constant visits to the movies, eating out, visiting every place in the city whilst walking hand in hand. Not forgetting the random forehead and hand kisses. I was sure to get a foot rub at the end of it all after wearing stilettos all night. Errol had a perfect body. Muscle toned and tall. He was huge and dark and I loved his body.
Every night, that body made me really happy and during the day; he was my angel helping me go through the day smiling all through.

In the second month after we started living together, I  missed my period. Didn't know how to feel. At least I wanted a baby but   wasn't sure  Errol and I were on the same page yet. Errol was thirty one, he had been proving to me how right I've been. Deciding to walk this mile with him, by being a good man to me. I had a good job and did not mind taking care of the house but at least a man ought to take care of his woman financially too and so I asked Errol to live up to his responsibilities.  'Errol I missed my period'. 'Baby, what does that mean? Are you pregnant?' He asked with so much concern on his face. At least that is what I saw. 'Yes' 'Wow' Errol yelled. He  jumped up onto his feet and gathered me into his arms. He kissed me on the lips and put me down finally still holding me tight. 'Thank you baby, you have made me really happy.' 'Really?' Was all I could say at the time.

Everything was okay until after  the first trimester of my pregnancy.  My Errol changed completely. He came home not earlier than 10pm and always kept to himself. We barely talked at all and he also made sure he never got close to me. My side of the bed was a restricted area and he never dared to cross it. If I dared to cross it, he would say;'Esi, I'want to sleep please.' He always said the same thing. My pregnancy was becoming unbearable. I thought having Errol by my side would make it easier for me but, Errol stopped being there for me. He stopped touching me yet I could not tell this to anyone not even my girlfriends who thought all was well with me.

My Errol too was such a good actor. Each time his friends  or my friends came to visit, he was at his best. One thought we had the best relationship.  He would still call me baby, sit beside me and try starting a conversation with me. Whilst when we were alone, he would never look at me. Gradually I got used to his acting skills. I cried, I was depressed and regretted rushing things. The baby I was expecting was the only thing that kept me going. Once I visited the gynaecologist, he asked if I was still having sex. He advised me to keep having sex once it was not uncomfortable for me and to help open up the place.  I confided in him and told him Errol had not touched me since my first trimester. He even offered to speak with him for me so I phoned Errol so the doctor would speak with him. Errol agreed after he did but when I got home that night, he would still not touch me.

Little Sister, your big sister loves to have sex. Here I was, being deprived though I had every means to get it. If I was not pregnant, I would get it elsewhere.  I'm sure. Errol never looked at me, he felt distant by the day and gradually, every dream I had ever held when I was single for my pregnant days shattered into pieces. If you cannot build the dreams you see, you are sure to never live it. He never for once touched my baby bump to even feel or hear the baby. I was beginning to lose my self esteem.  Just the way a woman loses it when she finds out her man is cheating and she had been doing everything right. Just that this time, I could not get affirmation elsewhere. 

My dear little sister,  being single is not a curse. It is a good time to prepare yourself to live with a man. A man can make and tear you down if you end up with the wrong one and do not take your time.  The wrong  man can make you  lose your self esteem and you will take years to rebuild what you once had. It doesn't matter who you are, once you let the wrong one in and are unable to find yourself early, you will go down before you know it. A man cheating on you or dumping you for a less classy, not pretty, perhaps younger or older woman, a single mother, a character worst than you are and causing you pain as well as causing you to lose your self esteem is nothing close to ending up with the wrong one and waking up to deal with it daily. Whilst you are still single, cherish and love you by taking your time with men. The least you can do for your unborn children.

Sex is sweet, good and a vital part of that union called marriage.  It is a much improved version of the one you have when you are still single; at least psychologically.  I want you to cherish it and only let a man earn it if you are not married.  No man wants a woman who has been with every man. Be choosy when it comes to giving it out, whilst still single. Let the man who earns it live forever remembering that sweet cherry. He can cheat but one day, he will cherish the good girl and cherry he has. Marriage will seek to explore other issues including sex, take your time and choose wisely. Do not get blinded.

Little Sister, the fact that your biological clock is ticking does not mean you should rush. Preparation is more important than age because if you are well prepared,  you will always find a man even if you go past your flower days. You must take your time. Know the man you are dealing with.  When two people begin dating, everyone strives to be at their best. Yes, you want to endorse yourself and prove to that man that he made a good choice.  That man wants to let you know he is good enough for you. Very few people are at their best with the real them. Be vigilant, take your time. People marry for various reasons.  Some for sex, some for money, some for fame and prestige, some for a certain benefit,  amongst others. The more you take your time to find out, the more you will discover why you are going  into it.

My dear little sister, I hope that my story has taught you a lesson or two. Do not weep for me yet. I will tell you all of it soon. For now, I want you to know that being single is no curse. Enjoy it. Let go of the hurts, the pain, the disappointments. At least that's my prayer for you because I know what that can do to you. I urge you to be happy, pray for the spirit of discernment.  Ask for wisdom and don't forget to ask yourself; 'would you marry you, if you met yourself?'

Kind regards,
Lem
(Your big sister)

Long time no blogging :)
Life gets super busy and oh my new baby; 'Raindrop' has my attention so your girl has been quite slow on here.
I still love and appreciate everyone who's been reading.  Thanks for the messages asking if blogging was over...lol. No please.  Writing is my weed, I'm addicted
xxxx

Friday night....
Drink some....
Snuggle up ....
Have gibberish conversations. .
Kiss your favourite person . ..
Enjoy your weekend!

A Note To Magic: The Boys Who Dare

Hey Magic,

There's something that has been baffling my mind for days now.  How do guys man up to go asking certain girls out?

I simply think guys are so daring. When  I was growing up as an adolescent at Redco flats, there were some guys I was simply Scared of. It had nothing to do  with  confidence, I was simply afraid of them because I considered them as big boys. These are boys who when I was in class six had completed Senior High School. 

Years on, I meet these same boys when I'm a single woman.  Single too, we become friends.  Firstly, I'm still scared but not completely.  I finally pine for one. It turns out that I'm going to be girlfriend number three if I agree. Well, I have a boyfriend but big boy from my childhood seems not to care much as we are having issues.

Actually,  I feel like girlfriend number one instead of  number three. We are together every day after his gym session after work on week days. Weekends are more fun. Big boy makes me feel like a princess. If I want to go somewhere he can't be, he would provide the cash for me and my girlfriend to just go. All is going well and on my birthday,  a few days after girlfriend number one's, birthday he makes me feel like  I am the number one.(Oh at least that's how it feels).

I don't know why he keeps coming to me but my friend tells me  I have nothing to lose. So we are cool but we haven't burst the nuts yet. I can't give my all because I'm still scared. I'm scared I may not meet his standards  and expectations when I decide to give it my all. Big boy from my childhood has been with dozens of girls Magic.

  I won't be able to make him as happy as the others and I'm pressured to give something more because afterall he has two girlfriends already. You see, I'm scared because he's probably too experienced.
Big boy wants to settle down and is looking for a good girl. Hilarious my dear Magic,  how he's a bad boy himself and how he turned other girls into bad girls yet now has a choice.

Magic, I'm  enjoying the attention and all though but  fear is beginning to cripple me. Sheer prejudice Magic!

So tell me, how do boys do it?

I'm so admiring them now
I know its silly.
I call them the boys who dare.
Magic boys can ask any girl out irrespective of who you are. They don't even care. All they care is they've got to get what they want. I guess when boys were created, they simply were made to be daring.

Will fill you in as our story unfolds. What happens with Big boy from my childhood days? Till then, keep smiling.

Your girl,
Lemon.

I know someone who is simply irritated by the boys who dare. How do eighteen year olds sum up courage to ask people who are probably ten years older out? Please it isn't fun anymore.  I'll probably end up in police custody for slapping teenage boys. Get a life please. ....I just look small but I'm not your mate...thank you! (On behalf of my other sisters). Please stop with it! !!

Raindrop

You should read "Raindrop" on Wattpad. http://w.tt/1Uuoi0l

Precious are the raindrops that fall on us.
They fall for a reason.
Appreciating them is an expression of knowing that awed by the prevailing circumstance, nothing compared to the raindrops of life, can replace the raindrop.

In a  few hours,  a mum will be witness to her son's going home to see him no more. We'll be bidding my cousin farewell as he transitions to another world.
Heartbreaking!
He will be buried in a few hours.
Lost for words but I know God is ahead.
On that journey I wish you eternal rest.

Precious is the raindrop..
I realize.
I will appreciate and cherish mine whilst it still prevails.

Fare thee well cousin.

BTW Happy birthday Mancee.

Sunshine Dollup: Diary of A single Sister XXIII

I was starving.  I tried getting out of bed. I went to wash my face and brush my teeth and  headed to the kitchen to fix myself something to eat.

I sat at the table after my meal. It was 11am. Wow! Alcohol! I had not had a drink in ages but last night I did. It felt good.  It made me happy in a way. Recalling last night's outing with the girls made me laugh real hard at myself.

I went back to my bedroom to have a lie down again, replying my messages and then returning my calls.  Sally, Rina, Tamara, Bambi, Claude. Wow. Everyone had called me. Claude had texted back as soon as I  replied.

'I was tipsy. Had lots to drink.'
I texted him.
' What did you have?'

I smiled before texting back.

'Started with irish cream
Had some Remi Martin with pepsi
Courvoisier'

I waited for his reply.

'Hahahahahahahahahahah.
You must be kidding me'

Oh mine. I wish I was,  I thought to myself. We kept texting till I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up at four. I remembered just then that my car was still at Marbles. I hada craving for tiger nut pudding and  decided to make myself some tiger nuts pudding for next week and bake me a cake. I hope the tiger nuts I had were still in good condition.  I finished doing all that together with my evening meal by half six and sat down to enjoy the toil of my labour. At least I was in the mood to cook and eat. Thanks  to the mixes.

I went to take a shower after and just lay in bed. I wanted to go pick up my car so badly but  was just feeling lazy. I called Bellarina to find out if she had gone for her car. Her hubby had sent his driver to go get it for her. Okay but I didn't have anyone to send. I called Sally who said my car was safe at Marbles.  So I just relaxed and stayed in bed watching tv.

What can I say?
I cry a million tears for you on this day as it brings back lots of memories.
If tears could awaken you
You would be here
Smiling at me on your birthday
Forever in our hearts.
In memory of  a mother and a friend.
Continue to rest with the Lord.

Sunshine Dollup XXII

I think the  courvoisier was doing my head in by the time Tamara left. Or maybe my  mixology tonight rather. BellaRina and I  kept talking. I had a good time laughing with her. We all went home by midnight.  When I got to my car,  I contemplated taking out my handbag and getting a cab home. Just then, my phone began to vibrate.  I took it out of my handbag and checked. 

'Hello... Hello  beautiful.'  My heart began to beat faster and sadly, though I was already in a state of confusion, my brain decided to shut off abruptly. Claude looked cute as always and he had that smile on. The smile that only helped  my brain to shut off completely.  Claude was not exactly what you would call handsome but the guy was fine for some weird reason. I hated  the fact that he had such an effect on me.  I heard Sally's voice ; 'Ella,  Rina is taking  a cab home, I think you should do same.' 'Please hold on' I said to Claude. 'I'll be fine Sally.' 'No. I insist Ella.' 'Ok. I give up .' 'Please take out your valuables.  Leave your car here and come get it tomorrow.  I still want my best friends safe after tonight.' I laughed out loud at her statement. 'Whats funny Ella?' ' Nothing....'

I went back to my phone conversation with Claude. 'Where are you?  I'm at Marbles.  Are you okay?  Yes I'm fine. Is there a problem with with your car? Errrmmm no. So why do you have to take a cab home?' I don't   know where Sally came from.  My door was open and my lights were on. 'Because I can't  trust her to get home safely...she's had too much to drink...' Sally answered. 'Ohhhh Sally?'  Sally tried hard looking on my phone's screen to see who I was talking with. 'Hi. Hi. I'm Sally. My name is Claude.' I  looked on as they both got acquainted on imo. I ended the call with Claude promising to call him back on my way home.

I stepped out of my car and locked it. I followed Sally who had a cab waiting for me. She hugged me goodnight and I got back and stayed on the phone with Claude till I arrived home but not on video call.  Claude didn't believe I  was tipsy. He thought I looked normal earlier. I was over laughing though but he mentioned the fact that he liked it. 

He had only gotten off the phone with me after I  arrived home. He gave me time to freshen up before calling me back.  'Are you okay? ' I nodded to say yes. I noticed he looked concerned. We didn't stay on the phone for too long.  He said I needed to rest so he left me so I could catch some sleep.

I woke up to the vibrating of my phone.  Goodness! I had thirty missed calls and twelve chats. The call  ended by the time I picked up the phone.

For my year group..

Party night....
UPS year group reunion.
Observed from my little corner though.
Hope to join you next time.
God bless us all.

Sunshine Dollup: Diary of A Single Sister XXI

I got to marbles at 9pm.
I had  left the office late on a Friday night.  Had lots of work to do and I took my time to do it  knowing I had nothing to do immediately except for my night out with the girls. I had not seen them in a while and was really looking forward to seeing them tonight.

The rest of my week had been uneventful.Aya did not come back to place on Tuesday evening.  She had gone home to Mummy and though I missed having her around, Mummy too needed her at home else she would be  so lonely.

As I stepped into Marbles, I looked around to find my girls. I saw them at our usual place in the corner at the pub. 'Hey girllllllll' Sally screamed. Getting up to hug me. 'Heyyyy girls. '  They each took turns to hug me. Everyone was there. 'You look sassy girlfriend. ' Bellarina said. I took my seat beside Telley. 'And she's glowing tonight' added Sally.  I laughed at them. 'You girls look beautiful as always' I stated as a matter of fact. 'Thankssss. ' They mumbled. 'This isn't about us girl.  Its about youuuuu baby.' Said Bellarina pointing at me.

The waiter came to take my order but I opted to join Bellarina who had a whole bottle of irish cream seated infront of her. I was brought a disposable cup to help myself and the party began.  My girls and I just talked. Tamara wasn't drinking tonight. She just had water infront of her. 'Whatsup with the water stuff' I inquired. 'Oppppps.' Sally said sending everyone laughing.

Tamara started rubbing her left hand on her belly. Smiling. 'Ella, you know what, your girl here is going to be a mother..... Yaaaaaaay. ' All the girls began to scream. We later popped champagne to celebrate Tamara's  pregnancy. We had a good time dancing and I had lots to drink. Diet pepsi and remi martin. Even after several glasses, I couldn't feel the effect of the remi martin so I asked for two shots of couversier. I knew this was bad but I couldn't help having a variety tonight. 

Bellarina and I were sharing the same drinks. Sally danced the whole time  with some cute Japanese guy. Tamara just looked on. Sally's hubby was out of town so tonight she wasn't in a hurry to go home. Tamara left at 11pm. Mark kept calling her all through and she finally got pissed and went home. Tamara mentioned, Mark was home hence his persistent calls. Tamara was a lecturer at the school of communications studies at the University where we had all attended for our first degree.  Had been married since age thirty  but  had no issue.  She  was finally pregnant.

Sally was the C.E.O of her IT company that she started right after first degree and she had a minimum staff of fifteen.  She was also married and had two girls.
She was also the oldest of all of us. Bellarina  was the youngest of us all. I was a year older than her and she was running her mum's school from early childhood to Junior High School. She  was also married with two children;  a boy and a girl.

I had met all these amazing girls during my freshman days in University. We had become friends and since then, it did not matter where we found ourselves, our friendship knew no boundaries. Time has indeed proved that we could not be separated by distance or interests. These were the most reliable friends I had beside my sisters. They have been there through it all.  The only thing that was obvious was my being single. They still loved me though they disappointed me mostly on Friday nights by calling our meetings off.

Just to reiterate, this story is fictional. Excerpts/ Snippets in raw form from a novel. (Meaning no proofreading has been done)
If you think this story is about you, that's your business! I'm not altering it because someone thinks I'm writing about them. A writer should possess the ability to imagine even things they haven't experienced.  That's the whole point. Thank you!

Sunshine Dollup XX

My braids took forever because I got home at almost 10pm. Aya was almost half asleep.  I just had a shower and went to sleep.

Sunday was uneventful. Aya and I went to church but Keziah and her family didn't show up at all.  I called them after church.  They sounded all right. Keziah said she was fine and all was well so Aya and I just went home to nap. Aya left later to go see someone whilst I just stayed at home.

Monday was stressful but it felt better once I got home to see Aya. How I wished she didn't have to go home when Mummy got back. I enjoyed having her around. It didn't feel lonely and boring with Aya around. We talked deep into the night about everything. Guys, family;  all our sisters and their husbands and kids. Aya fell asleep before 10pm. I lay there watching Al Jazeera.  I had not heard from Claude since he got to Mumbai. Hope he was okay. Thought he checked up on me every day whilst he was in town. Or perhaps tried to though I had not been so receptive.  Wow. Was I missing him. If he had not travelled,  he would have texted or called me and even if I didn't reply he  would  still text back.

I tried dismissing thoughts of him from my mind but no. I picked my phone to check it and went through my whatsapp messages.  Sally was asking the girls out on Friday night to Marbles.  Daffline had texted and sent lots of photos of the twins. I loved them. Talk of a pleasantsurprise....there was a text from Claude.  He did get in touch afterall. Well he had said he would but I didn't think he would.

I opened it to read. 'Hi beautiful.  How are you?  Just to let you know I arrived safely but I miss you.'  I smiled at his text. He wasn't online. He had sent the text thirty two minutes ago. So I just texted back . 'I'm well, thanks and you? Lol. Good to know. Miss you too. ' Just then Claude came online and began typing. 'Good to hear from you. I'm fine, thanks for asking. How was your day? ' 'My day was stressful but quite fruitful.'
'  How's your conference going? I like that. Very well. I'll call you tomorrow around this time. Is that okay? I want to see your face. '

'Okay...'  I texted back. I would love a foot massage right now. My feet felt sore. I guess it was the effect of the super tight nude stilettos I wore today. I had never worn it since I got it. I had completely forgotten about it till my eyes fell on it this morning.  It had felt so tight but I still wore it. If I had a hubby,  this was one of the things I would want him to do for me. Silly me. I guess I'm probably one of the people who would marry just to have a guy close for the wrong reasons. Someone to talk and laugh with and not come home to a dead silent apartment.  Someone to cuddle,  very important,  someone to give me a footrub. For these three purposes, I was definitely single but I would love a male presence.   Hilarious  Ella. Silly me. I  tried to fall asleep.

Who Do You Call Your Friend?

Who do you call your friend?
How well do you know your friend?
Who is your friend if I may ask.

A few days ago,I met a pretty young woman. Initially, she was so withdrawn and quiet. She sat at another table at the pub whilst I was the only girl who sat with the guys having a drink and talking.
I could not tell why she didn't smile or sit with us and since I learned to stop judging people, it made it easier for me to relate to her when the guys finally coerced her to sit with us.

She had  returned from peacekeeping    the previous day and had gone home to her family unannounced.  She had decided to surprise  them only to find her sister in bed with her boyfriend.
When I heard her story, I felt so bad and did not know what to say to her. Her own blood sister had betrayed her. I began to wonder, how well did she know her so called boyfriend? How well did she know her sister though human beings are unpredictable.

Sometimes you just aren't sure of people because there are too many fake people in the world. Sometimes you can't tell the extent to which people would go for you when they claim to be your friend. 

Why would your sister be attracted to your boyfriend and no other boy on planet earth? What happened to loyalty?  Why would your boyfriend choose to cheat on you with your sister. What happened to the other girls? What happened to loyalty?   Your sister should be your first friend or?

Friends do not betray each other. Friends are there when the acquaintances come and leave. Friends laugh and cry with you or lend you a shoulder to cry on. Friends know your flaws yet stick by you no matter what. Your friend's significant other is a 'no go zone' for you. You have no business trying to do him or her a favour by pointing out your friend's flaws to them. Hell no. Get busy with your life, leave them to live theirs. Friends forgive easily and do not seek the least opportunity to pay back whoever hurt them. Friendship says loyalty even when your friend cannot see you. Friendship has rules,  learn them before you decide to start one.

Do people really understand what friendship means? Don't start something you cannot finish. Stop hurting others simply because you do not understand what that word entails.  No wonder these days people end up putting others through that test of loyalty.  Too many fake people parading themselves as friends of others.

Who do you call your friend? How well do you know your friend?  Do you need to put them through a test to prove their spot in your life?  Are they loyal to you, are you loyal to them?  Do you really know them?

Sunshine Dollup XIX

Yella
My evening was uneventful after Claude's text. I sat in the sofa flipping through the tv channels when I got a call on imo. 'Hello Bambi....hi Ella..mwah mwah mwahhh..mwahhhhh .. wow my sister looks so fine. Hahahah Bambi, I miss you. I miss you too big sis. What did I miss? Tell me.' I gazed at my sister's face on the phone's screen. I missed her so much. I smiled and continued with our conversation.  'Nothing much.  Aya is spending the weekend at my place.  I know that girl... I heard this cute dude came to your place last night, who is he? A-ha can see someone has been giving people details of my private life. Ohhh tell me big sis who is he? Errrrmmmm'  I said, raking a finger through my hair. 'Is it the guy from the beach Ella? How do you know?' Bambi was screaming and clapping her hands at the other end. I could see the spark in her eyes as she finally regained normalcy.

' Guy from the beach, what's he doing eating pizza at your place? Bam-biiiiii. Okay. I give up. Spill the beans big siste-r. I hear he is cute and tall. Aya says he likes  you. Huh. How does Aya know he likes me? Aya says the way he looks at you.... Ella please tell me or else I'm getting on the next available flight to see for myself.  Hahahah. Wait! He's out of town. I'm sure by now his flight has taken off. Ohhhhh...' Screamed Bambi. Her face suddenly looked ashen.

She finally spoke up. 'Unbelievable. How could he just leave? Slow down girl. He's gone to Mumbai for a few days.  Okay. That sounds better.' Bambi looked perky again. 'Yeah. He's gone for ten days. Ermmm that will come soon. So do you miss him?' Bambi asked me. I paused, stunned at her question. 'I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't think so..He.... Hahahahahahahahahahah. ' My little sister began to laugh like crazy. 'Wow...well I'm just happy for you big sister so long as he  makes you happy.' I nodded and smiled.  Didn't even know where Bambi was headed with this conversation in the first place.  'Tell me about you. Whats happening in Helsinki? ' Bambi  paused to catch her breath I think, before answering.  That was weird. 'Okay sister. Sasha's grandparents are visiting Helsinki so he brought me with him to meet them. Oh my God...' I screamed.

Bambi was smiling at the other end. My sister likes travelling but there should obviously  be a reason for visiting Helsinki and there it is. Just then I saw her waving someone.  Then I saw him. He came to sit beside her. 'Say hi.' Bambi said. 'Hi Ella. ' Sasha waved. 'Hi Sasha.' I heard  Bambi giggle and then Sacha pecked her right cheek, and then they both turned to face me again. Sacha eventually left. Leaving Bambi and I to talk for a while. We said goodbye after an hour.

I turned off the tv to go to my room.  I remembered I had to go to the salon. I had completely forgotten about it. 

Sunshine Dollup VIII

Claude's POV

When I left the doll's place,  I drove straight to my parents house. My dad was out of town and I was wondering how he left my mum behind once I got there. My mum was in the kitchen with my cousin Emelda. She was visiting mum for the weekend. Mum said her parents were out of town or so. Didn't quite get the details right.

'How did dad leave you at home?' I questioned my mum. 'Claude, he didn't leave me at home, I chose to stay home. Ohhh' I exclaimed. My mum has a way of following my dad around even when it was obvious her presence was not required.  The only place she did not follow dad to was to work.

I went to my room briefly to find something.  I had moved out a few months ago but still slept at home sometimes.  I moved out in the end though my mum kicked against it. I just had to and dad was very supportive of me. Mum was always going to be treating me like her baby. Calling me if I did not return home on time. Asking what I wanted for dinner and get emotional if I did not eat at home. Living with her just made her think I was still a baby. Dad supported me to move out because I think he sort of understood that I needed the change to man up.

My mum is the best Mum in the world but she turns to be overprotective of her sons. She has been ever since my older brother died. 'Claud-e...? Claude. ..' I heard mums voice call  'Yes mum. Please come on here darling.  Lets eat together. ' I went to join her and Emelda at the table to eat.

I left mum at half past four to go to the airport with Emelda who was dropping me off. Emelda was my little cousin.  She  had just moved to the capital with her parents. We  talked about basically everything on our way to the airport. I took my suitcase out of the trunk of the car once we arrived at the airport. I was running late. I pecked Emelda on the cheek before she drove off. ' Safe journey cousin. Thanks. '

After checking in and going through departure procedure.  I spent the waiting time for the flight to take off to text Ella. Hope she replies. There was something about her I could still not lay a finger on. She looked so divine. Last night, it felt bad seeing her cry. Wish I could know her reason for crying but I really did not want to pry. I was trying to be friends with her and I respected her privacy but I would never want her to cry that way again.  'Hi Ella. It was nice seeing you again this afternoon. Thank you. Will keep in touch. ' She replied after two minutes.  ' Thanks too. It was nice seeing you as well. Ok. Safe journey. 'Thanks Ella. Be safe xxx. You too xxx.'
She had texted  back.

Ever tasted a sweet  and gotten addicted to it?  Ever had that sweet stain your teeth and you  just can't seem to brush it off? You need a tooth paste made by the maker of that sweet to...... Sweets are sweets.  They don't change even if they get bought by others. Sweets, sweets, sweets  :) :) :) Sweets are sweets!!

Friday night.
Drink some Remi vso with pepsi but don't let your brain shut off;
Party hard!

You Are Passing Through This World But Once

Just realized one thing about life.
When you have talent yet fail to use it, once you die, your talent dies with you.
All the professors die with their knowledge. If you do not  discover yourself early, to brighten the corner where you are,  your light will never be seen or experienced in this lifetime.  That is how come, great people die without letting the world experience their greatness.

When you know you will die, you make sure you turn your final days into a fest worth celebrating.  Nobody is celebrated in death forever. With time, you are gradually forgotten.  Even your immediate family learn to  live without you. It doesn't matter the legacy you leave behind, with time, you are forgotten except something comes up that has to do with you.

That is why, the history of  Ghana's independence cannot be told without the mention of Osagyefo Dr. Kwame Nkrumah.

Lately,  people are dying at a younger age. It freaks me out how someone can be here this minute and gone in the next hour.

What am I doing with my time  here on earth?
What are you doing with your time here on earth?
Is my relationship right with God? I'm a believer of the gospel so obviously I would be concerned.  Am I done putting smiles on faces? What about the people whose toes I have stepped on?
There are lots of areas to explore, but it just occurred to me that I'm indeed passing through this place but once and so are you.

I don't know about you but can you use this post as a reflection too? Life is short. Live it well!!

So I believe in the power of words. These are very critical times for me as an individual.  When the Sun shines, I will share it with you but for now,  I'll  post  as many things as I can because a day is coming when the rate at which I post will go down or when I would not even post for a while.  Once I'm through with it, I'll come back stronger. #Transformation journey.
I don't know what someone else is battling with. Perhaps yours is a deadly disease or a kidney transplant will salvage your situation. It doesn't  matter what it is, darkness is just for a while.  My morning will come,  so will yours. Try to make a small dot where you are. 
Count down. ....

My People Are Wondering

After my experience  the other night, I'm tempted to do this again. Touching on a very sensitive issue. Not my style.

I want to write a letter to the member of parliament for this area.(Thanks to my foundation,  he's now my friend but....) The question is do I or do I not? What difference would it make by the way?

Firstly I think my people will not vote according to tribal lines come 2016. Ask me why? Accra to Ho is just two hours drive but it now takes four hours to get to Ho. Accra to Hohoe is four hours drive, it now takes seven to eight hours to get there. Simply because Adomi bridge was  closed down for rehabilitation works.

The alternative routes; Akuse, Sogakope and Senchi are not ready to withstand the pressure from road users. The road from Akuse right after the bridge is untarred and really bad. Sogakope seems a good alternative but again that road is bad at a certain point. Senchi ferry seems the ideal alternative but I think that, parts of the eastern and volta regions have been cut off. There are only two ferries and every time one has to queue for hours just to use the ferry. Whilst waiting to use the ferry, if you do not use the back door, be sure you will queue forever.

Didn't the government  envisage this? Why weren't all alternative routes carefully rehabilitated  before the closure of the Adomi bridge?  Why are my people being taken for granted? Why must a four hour journey become an eight hour journey? It's not fair taking into consideration the fact that my region always added up to make the grand total of the votes to bring the current administration into power. I'm sorry but my people are displeased and will vote for the issues next time.

I also want to find out why there are no street lights on the Kpeve mountain that serves as an alternative route to Hohoe from Accra following rehabilitation and closure of the Peki road? No lights on that mountain.  On Saturday night,  there was an accident, and since there are no lights, how are drivers supposed to know? The road on the mountain has lots of potholes. What is going on? Can't the MP for the area have the highways and whoever is in charge do something about the poor nature of the road. At most,  fill in the potholes and put street lights on that road? Do we have to wait for people to perish on that road before action is taken?

I was told about an MP who tarred the road leading to his hometown for easy access prior to his mum's funeral. Oh yeah. Then fix this mess please.  It isn't fun travelling or driving on this Kpeve Hohoe stretch of road. The contractor in charge should speed up with the rehabilitation works so the work can be completed on time. ( Hear its been awarded to a chinese contractor. Better see to it that the job is done). Well, I hear its been halted though. A few months ago,  at  dawn on a Saturday,  an innocent woman crossing the road died due to the nature of the road and poor visibility. Why?? Though we were in a hurry to get to the unveiling of the tombstone, a human life had been lost and we could not just drive on. Years on, nothing has been done about this same road.

My region cries for attention.
My region says wake up MPs
My region says
Do not neglect us, politicians
My region says
Are we also part of Ghana?
Do not forget they are the electorates.

I'm done addressing this issue.
Now, do I tell the MP or do I just shut up?  Honestly,  I hate travelling on that road but Cuties Readerfeast will need me to travel on it so what do I do????

I know I've been telling people I'm sleepy; effects of the medication but I just had to do this. Share my thoughts.