Monday:
You deserted your earthly role
The most important of them:
Motherhood.
You didn't look back
You just walked on
Walked on to rest
I still can't believe this happened
I can't believe how it happened either
Painful departure
Thinking about it hurts
Still holding onto the word of God
Miss you dearly
Continue to rest well in the splendour of the almighty.
Missing someone in heaven.
This is for you if you miss someone in heaven too.
Finally, twelve posts in April :)
Claude
They were such an activity, I just didn't want anymore drama so I avoided them. This twenty five year old was beautiful. I liked the way she smiled last night. Though I did not want to go to the beach, Audrey said I needed to because yesterday, I had misbehaved infront of her friend and had to show up and be on my best behaviour to make up for it. So I met them at the Golden beach. Was told the beautiful girl had just closed from church and was going to be arriving soon. Wow! Church. Thats nice. I had arrived forty minutes and the beautiful girl was no where near.
Audrey got a call directing someone to where we were sitting. She excused herself and I spotted her talking to some attractive girl. Chocolate skin, average height with a pony tail. She was wearing something like a long wrapper around her waist with blue, yellow and white designs in it. She had on a sea blue top and I could see she had big boobs just big enough. The beautiful girl removed her wrapper. Isssssh and then Audrey engaged her in a hug. She had beautiful spotless thighs and legs, I noticed. She straightened her wrapper and tied it back around her waist. Jeremy and I watched as she and Audrey walked towards where we were seated. When Audrey said the queen was here and we had greeted her, I officially stood up to engage her in a handshake. 'Claude' 'Yella' she said smiling back.
Oh shit. Please don't smile again. You look too beautiful when you smile. She had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. When it was time for her to order her drink, she ordered mango juice. Same thing she had last night. Audrey said I had eaten her pizza yesterday so I thought I would make it up to her today.
Can't believe I messed up first time meeting this beautiful girl. I think I'll call her a doll. She actually looks like one, with her pretty eyes. We all got talking contemplating which type of pizza to order. 'Anything goes' said Audrey. 'No I want you ladies to make the choice' I said smiling at the doll. She just shook her head. I decided to go get the waiter and order us some more khebabs so the doll could eat some too. When I got back to the table, Audrey was talking. 'Its not your turn to buy it. When its your turn, you can choose.' The doll just laughed. 'Why, Yella wants something else?' I asked. She just smiled. Jeremy said: apparently there's a particular type of pizza Yella would have loved. ' Tell me please, Ella' I pleaded. 'No.' Said Audrey. 'Ella, please tell me .' The doll kept smiling.'No, she isn't the one paying for it. Besides you asked before going to place the order and she refused to talk.' Audrey said again. 'But she can still tell me.' 'No' 'Jeremy do you know which type it is?' I asked. 'No man.' 'Ella please tell me. Just tell me, Audrey isn't the one going to pay for it. Next time, will get you that one.' The doll just smiled and said: 'vegetarian pizza with mashroom toppings.' I smiled at her and said 'next time will get you that, I promise. ' ' Thank you. ' she replied. There was an awkward silence at the table. Audrey told me to exchange seats with her so she could sit close to Jeremy. I went to sit by Yella then.
She smelled nice. Wow. I wanted to get to know her better. There was an enigma to this girl but I didn't like her age.
Yella
The weird boy from last night was acting all nice today. What could it be. Oh yes, last night, he had been tipsy. Why was he particularly interested in which pizza I would like? Is it because he ate mine last night? Was he feeling guilty? When he got up to go place the orders, I noticed he was tall. I 'm sure I would be half of him ; in height I mean. I looked at the fair guy with pink lips smiling at me. Was he bleached. I wondered. I kept looking out for discolourations on his skin but found none. He had broad shoulders. He had been working out. Quite obvious. He was tall and slim. Nothing you would call handsome but he was attractive. He had a beautiful smile. His teeth were sparkling white.
I could see the smile in his eyes. They were genuine but this dude was so out of my league. I never got attracted to fair guys. I had never been attracted to one. I always dated dark skinned or chocolate skinned guys. Fair guys, no. I never looked at them twice. His side burns ran into a moustache and a beared neatly trimmed. I could not guess his age but I was very sure I was years older than him. I never dated slim guys. I liked boys with just enough body: bit huge.
Well who cares. He's out of my league. Not my type. So his looks really don't matter to me.
Novel taster: unfortunately, can't post anymore, on the blog but I hope you will get a copy soon.....
Photo credit: Simone Signoret
Mummy's House
Sunshine Dollup
11.40 am
When we all arrived at my Mum's place and got settled, Mummy didn't even bother to change her church clothes. She went on straight to the kitchen to fix our meal. Aya helped her and soon we were all sitting at the table and eating. The rice balls and peanut butter soup tasted delicious. I loved the fact that, Mummy had used both fish and meat for it. I enjoyed it so much and so did Keziah's children.
'I'm packing some soup for you Yella and Keziah.' I nodded in agreement. 'Thanks Mummy.' But I saw Keziah's basket being packed with more bowls meaning Mummy had cooked for her as always. Mummy always cooked for Keziah to take home for the week, her own way of making motherhood less stressful for her. Most of the time, she imposed it on me too, but I declined with the excuse that I hardly ate them because I got home late. They only went waste after keeping them in the freezer forever. These days, I would rather not take them but Mummy was beginning to complain that I was losing weight and that, she didn't want me getting to a size zero. 'Your husband must meet you with all these assets showing not after you've lost it.' So I could not refuse this soup.
After dessert, we all sat down to talk. Aya and keziah's boys went to nap whilst the youngest of them all clinged on to Mummy. Sitting on her laps and singing most of the time. I had left my purse in the car so went to get it so I could check my phone. Audrey had called twice. I checked my messages. Gladys was thanking me for attending her baby's naming ceremony and was hoping to see me at the real christening. At this point, she got me confused. I actually thought they were the same. Well........Audrey had sent a text too. Telling me the name of the beach and hoping to see me soon. I needed a lie down and was planning to do so before going to my place.
I went back to sit with the others inside the house. Aya left us and came back after a while dressed in an all brown and black jumpsuit with yellow kitten heels to go out. 'Big sis, can I borrow your car Please? ' She asked touching my shoulder. 'Little sister, I have to go somewhere. 'I replied. 'Oh. Where's that? Can I drop you off?' Aya was bent on borrowing my car. I could not refuse her. Not when I could lend it to her. 'Okay. Then you would have to drop me off and pick me up. Is that fine by you?' 'Anything for you big sis.' I still sat down for a while but Aya kept pacing up and down. I figured she really wanted to go. I checked my phone again to read my messages. I saw one from Aya and glanced at her suspiciously and then went on ahead to read it. 'Ella, can we go now pleaseeeee?' 'Mummy, K..., I have to go now.' I walked over to Mummy to hug my niece and then Mummy. When I got to Keziah, she stood up. 'Let me walk you to your car.' She said. 'Yella, be safe.' My mum said. 'Thank you Mummy, we'll talk soon.' I heard my Mum scream when we got to the front door. 'Aya.' 'Yes Mummy.' Aya screamed back but didn't turn to go back in. 'Please come back early' Mum said to her. 'I will Mummy.'
' Aya will come at ten I'm sure.' We all burst out into laughter. 'No k, I'll be back by seven.' 'Hmm...I'll get to my house and call Mummy and she will tell me you're not back and she can't reach you either.' Aya smirked. Keziah hugged Aya and then hugged me goodbye too before Aya drove off.
'Where are you going Aya?' 'To see a friend. ' I nooded. 'Where are you going? ' She asked me. 'To the beach. I need to change first, so we'll pass by the house so I can quickly change. ' ' Sure sis.' Aya turned on the radio and she kept singing along to every song all through to my house.
She followed me inside when we arrived at my place. She went through my perfumes whilst I searched through my wardrobe to find something to wear. I settled on a black jeans shorts and a dotted yellow tank top. My shorts were a little below my lower thigh but above the knee. I looked for a sarong and decided to wear the sarong over it with its spaghetti strapped top. So I quickly removed the yellow tank top and wore the sea blue and white spaghetti strap top instead with a mixure of sea blue, white and yellow saron tied around my waist. I removed the black jeans shorts and wore a plain sea blue shorts instead.
I went to the guest room to my other shoe rack to find a pair of flat sandals to wear and picked a white one. Then I tried to pack two white towels into my beach bag and reached for one of my sun shades. I touched up on my makeup especially my eyeliner and lipstick. I finally sprayed on some fragrance and checked my image in the mirror. Aya entered again holding something in her hand like a small paper bag. I didn't pay attention to it.
Very usual of Aya to come to my house and pick something she thinks, she can use. Most often, one of my perfumes, bags or jewellery. I would never notice it till, I needed to use them and could not find them. Or till she got home and called to say she had taken something of mine. These days if I couldn't find something in my house, Aya was the right person to ask and she would show me where she kept it or saw it. These not withstanding, my little sister was adorable and I loved her to bits. I liked it when she took my stuff. It only endorsed me as a fashionista because Aya loved looking trendy.
Infact all my sisters did except Dafflyne who was not so particular about what was trendy and what was not. She just loved to look good but would never have time to check out new trends. Till date, if she wanted to get a new wardrobe, Bambi was her consultant. Aya on the other hand loved to look trendy.
'You look pretty as always, sis.' 'Thank you Aya.'Learning from you.' That made Aya laugh so hard. 'Me?' She questioned. 'Who' s older? I learned from you Ella, and I learned well.' This time, I smiled. My sister always reminded me that, she learned her Fashionista skills from me. I found that statement funny though.
At the Beach
Yella
Aya dropped me off at the Golden beach. She promised to pick me up when I was ready to go home and drove off. I called Audrey and she told me where I could find her. I had taken off my sarong and was readjusting it, to tie it when Audrey run to me. She hugged me. 'You look good Ella.' 'Thanks Drey, you too. As always. ' She smiled.'Thank you. ' Audrey was wearing a pair of jeans skirt, with a show your tummy short sleeve white top. The wind was blowing her hair and her pink lipstick looked good on her. 'Lets go meet the guys' she said pulling me by the hand. 'Guys?' I asked astonished. 'Yes Yella.' Before I could utter a word, we were standing infront of Audrey's boyfriend and the weird guy from last night.
'The queen is finally here' said Audrey guiding me to a seat. She sat in the one beside me. I looked at Audrey's boyfriend and he still looked cute. Well the guy is cute, I reminded myself. 'Hi Ella' I looked in the direction of the voice at the weird guy sitting across the table from Audrey. He smiled at me showing a clean white sparkling set of teeth. This guy again, I thought and then he offered me his hand in a hand shake. 'Claude' I think he felt the need to remind me of his name or so.......
Claude
The weather was lovely though the sun was up and a bit hot. Just lovely enough for the beach.
Audrey had been bothering me since last night on our way home to go to the beach with Jeremy and her. She mentioned to me that, the beautiful girl from last night was going to be there too. Well, last night I had been tipsy and could not talk to her. I remember a beautiful face though. Beautiful and quite young. I'm sure she's twenty five and I don't want to get close to such girls anymore. I had had enough of them.
Intellectual properties are bragging rights so I would rather do this than get into trouble : Photo source:Yachal House.
Sunday
Sunshine Dollup
My alarm woke me up at 5am as usual. What day is it today? I tried to recall. Monday? I wondered. I rolled to the other side of the bed so I could turn it off and stayed on that side; stretching. I remembered last night, and then I knew it was Sunday not Monday. Meaning I had more time to sleep. Church was going to begin at 8am. Usually I left home at half past 7. That meant, I had more time to sleep.
I lay on my side and closed my eyes. Thankfully, I drifted off to sleep again. I was awoken by the beeping of my phone, before I could pick itup, the call ended. It was exactly 7 am. I checked my missed calls and Bambi my younger sister had called me twice. Audrey had called six times and Gladys two times. Audrey! I checked my messages before calling everyone back except Audrey. Bambi didn't pick up but had sent a text on whatsapp earlier, stating why she had tried reaching me. 'Hi Ella
Was hoping I could talk with you
for a while.
I'm working this morning, so will call you back later
Miss you big sis xxxx
Bambi is my mum's last but one child. She was away in Kiev studying medicine. She got along better with her immediate older sister but told me, how Dafflyne hardly picked her calls these days with the excuse that, she was tending to her babies. These days, she called me often and any time she wanted to talk despite the time difference. I loved talking to her though.
Gladys didn't pick her call either. Just when I had been trying to call her back, Audrey sent a text. 'Hope to see you this afternoon.
Please don't disappoint me Ella.'
Whats with this Audrey girl. Did I agree to go to the beach? Not that I remember. So why this text . 'Will see...' I texted back.
'Oh Ella,
Don't do that please
I promise
You aren't gonna regret coming with me.'
I read the text and smiled. 'Drey, will get in touch in the afternoon.' Had to get ready for church. Drey had a way of getting what she wanted and I was not going to go over that with her again this early morning.
Church was awesome as always. Another marriage was announced. It was going to be in three weeks. The church applauded as the would be couple was introduced. Such a young girl, I thought. I was happy for her though. She was one of the girls who I was barely friends with but, who I liked from a distance. I gave her a ride after church a few times. I think she mentioned to me the other day that she had just graduated from University. Okay, she's lucky I thought.
I did not have a chance to feel bad. I had gotten used to the weddings at church. Except that, when I attended those ceremonies and got back home, I felt weird, like there was something wrong with me. Sometimes, I felt like changing churches. I had been attending the same church since age fourteen. I was not only a big sister to most of the girls but virtually grew up in that same church. I only kept going because my Pastors did a good job of encouraging me and also because I got a chance to be with my family. Once a while, I missed Sunday service if I was out of town or deliberately. I felt too depressed to go to church sometimes. There was this one thing that I wanted God to do for me and that thing ended up depressing me.
On the other hand, I moved out of home seven months ago. I had wanted to stay till I got married but since that was not happening, I decided to just move. My mum talked me out of it several times. I think she envisaged the lonely nights and days ahead but, my mind had been made up. I left four months after my sister Dafflyne had her twins.
Two of my younger sisters: Dafflyne and keziah were married. keziah had been married for eight years and had three children: two boys and a girl. Dafflyne had been married for four years and had twins eleven months ago.
Dafflyne's marriage had caused a huge disaggrement in my family. Mum thought she needed to wait till I was married before getting married. Dafflyne thought same too but two years on she was eager to have it done. Her boyfriend had left her because she wouldn't marry him and she feared losing this one too, who was currently her husband. It often ensued in an argument between her and mum. Dafflyne would stay days without talking to any of us. When we called her phone, it went to answering machine. She called me one night to say, she really loved me and was praying for me to get married but to let her go ahead with her marriage if I loved her too.
In the end, I told mum to let her go ahead. She did and was happy till she began to worry that she could not make babies. She finally did after four years and even had twins as compensation. Dafflyne was a twin but her twin brother had died at birth.
My younger sister: Aya was twenty four and was in her final year in law school. Mum said she was blessed to have us, as children. Anytime we closed from church, we would all gather around Keziah's car, to talk as a family. keziah still attended our church and most of the time, she came to church in a bigger car because of her three children. Mummy still helped her with her children most of the time. Dafflyne lived in Pretoria with her family where she and her husband were both Lecturing. She had never moved home after earning her doctorate in Canada. She had gotten married to a kenyan and had moved first to Tanzania and now to South Africa. So it was just Aya, Keziah and I who were around currently.
'Lets go home and have lunch. I already made some peanut butter soup and rice balls. Your favorite K.' Mummy said, when we all gathered around keziah's car. Keziah gazed at me and then I gazed at Aya and we all started laughing. 'Mu-mm-y' said Aya, still laughing.My mum has a funny way of asking people over to her house by enticing them with food and forcing it on them. Like she was trying to say, Keziah's favourite food was rice balls and peanut butter soup.
Most of the time, I spent my Sunday afternoons with my family ; sisters, Mum, nephews, niece and brother inlaw. The only times I didn't was when I was out of town or didn't go to church. Our afternoons were spent eating out at the buffet at The Sun Hotel or going to Mum's place to eat. It was a time I really cherished; family meant the world to me. My sisters were all I had. Dad died when Aya was five. We grew up without him but Mum had not gotten married again. She had just made her children her priority and had vowed to make sure we were comfortable. She was thankful that we had been doing well so far.
Sometimes, I felt I was her only source of unhappiness. She just got super perturbed about my being single, it was beginning to bother me. We could not turn Mum's offer down so we just agreed to meet at her house. Keziah's children wanted to be in the same car with their Grandma though Aya and Mum didn't come to church with a car. Aya said the car was at the mechanics. So Mum went in Keziah's car and Aya in my car. Keziah's husband was out of town.
Mummy's House
I promised to post two more. So here we go with the last but one.
Again, this is just a novel taster....
Saturday Night. ....
Sunshine Dollup,
I lost track of time, consumed with sorrow and self pity. When I remembered I had a date with Audrey, I glanced at the kitchen clock and realised it was 7:20 pm. I quickly grabbed some tissue to wipe my face and then threw the rest of my food into the bin before doing the dishes. I had not been able to finish my meal. These days I barely ate. It was such a miracle that I was still a size ten.
Quickly I rushed to get my cell phone. I wasn't surprised to see four missed calls from Audrey and two messages: sms and whatsapp. 'Ella, please let me know if you aren't gonna make it.' I texted her back: 'I'm sorry Drey, will be there in fifteen minutes.' I searched through my wardrobe for something to wear. I decided on a cream three quarter sleeve short dress, which barely went beyond my upper thighs and a brown pair of leggings. I decided to hold up my hair in a ponytail with a dotted green band and settled on a pair of green open toe shoes with a brown sling bag. I did not wear make up, I didn't want to, because I had just gotten a facial a few hours ago. I just applied eyeshadow and apple red lipstick. Applying a little plain gloss over it to give it some shine.
When I checked my appearance in the mirror, Sunshine Dollup, your girl was looking good as always. I was naturally pretty: my mum at fifty eight looked pretty and super fabulous for her age. Guess thats where I got my looks from. Most of the time, I was mistaken for someone in her mid twenties. My four sisters were even more beautiful. The only thing was, I was the shortest in my family beside my mum. I stood at 5'5. I used to be a size fourteen and then gradually I worked my way to a size twelve. Lately, I could fit into a size ten even without working out. Well I hardly ate, what do you expect. These not withstanding, I was still endowed in the ass, boobs and hips department with big thighs and legs. I dubbed on my favourite J'lo fragrance. Checked out my appearance again in the mirror and walked out of the bedroom.
I only remembered I had forgotten my car keys when I got to the front door. I went back to get them. I got to Chillies in exactly fifteen minutes. Found a place to park my car and walked to find Audrey. I couldn't spot her anywhere outside. I decided to call her phone but there was no response. I chose a table to sit at and a waiter walked up to greet me. 'A small bottle of water please.' I said to him. He came back with the water in a minute or so. 'Would you like anything else, madam.' I thought about it for a second. Chillies had some really nice pizza. I settled for that whilst going through the menu. Well I didn't have to go through, I already knew what I wanted. 'Chillies special pizza, take out please. ' With that, the waiter had gone to get my order. I liked that pizza because of the mushroom.
I looked around for a while. Trying to see if I would see Audrey. There was no sign of her though. I took out my phone again and called her the second time. She still did not answer. I sent her a text. 'I'm here now.' Didn't think I would have to be the one to go wait for Audrey. She sounded like she was at Chillies hours ago when she texted me. Well, I was here now and just had to wait for her. I took the time to enjoy the cool breeze as I sat outside not inside.
I watched people giggle and laugh. I was so used to hanging out alone, it didn't feel awkward anymore.
The pizza arrived after a few minutes and Audrey was still nowhere to be found. Though I wanted to wait for her to come and lets do justice to it, the smell of it, won't let me. So I decided to start eating without her. I ordered a carton of mango juice to go with it. When I checked my phone again, Audrey had sent a text saying she would be there soon.
She did show up but with two tall guys I guess. They sat down at my table with Audrey hugging me from behind though I was seated. After exchanging pleasantries, Audrey introduced the guys to me. One was her boyfriend and the other her boyfriend's friend. She also apologised for being late.
Sunshine Dollup, the other one, did not even wait to get invited to share my pizza. He just helped himself. The guy has guts, I thought. Eating my pizza without asking. Which guy does that. He talked less and was quiet most of the time except when Audrey asked him something. I found him interesting. We ordered some more pizza. He was fair and tall. He looked like he had been gyming. Well, not my type of man. I never got attracted to fair guys. It was my first time meeting Audrey's boyfriend. I must admit he was cute. I watched them talk. I enjoyed spending time with them except the weird guy talked less. I learned later that he was tipsy. I'm not sure on what. Tequila or beer, funny. No wonder he ate my pizza without being invited.
The night ended with Audrey and her entourage going home in the funny guy's car. When I got home, it was half past midnight.
I took my bedtime shower and turned on the Tv.
I watched CNN for a while till I got a text from Audrey. I shook my head. She was asking us to hang out on Sunday afternoon at the beach. 'Will see' was my reply to her.
I turned off the Tv and drifted off to sleep.
Like I mentioned when I posted the first part of Sunshine Dollup: Diary Of A Single Sister, this is just a novel taster. Will post one or two more. If you like it and want to find out how the story ends, then you know what to do....
Saturday Night
Sunshine Dollup,
Today, I had quite a long day. Gladys from the gym where I work out has just had a baby. She invited me to go to her baby's naming ceremony. Typical of people in our part of the world these days, the ceremony did not begin on time. People showed up late though I'm aware this particular ceremony is usually held early in the morning.
Gladys was looking pretty and I admired her for giving birth to such an adorable baby boy.
Lately, I've been contemplating having a baby. At least, if I can't have a man cuddle me all night long, I can have someone call me 'Mummy.' Mini me.
Anytime I gave it a thought, I would nurture dreams of executing my thoughts and envisage what it would feel or be like to at least have a child.
Then again, reality hits me and propels me to rescind my decision. Casting my minds eye around, no one in my family: nuclear or extended has had a baby out of wedlock. I had four younger sisters, two unmarried, still looking up to big sister. Trust me, my mum seems to be worried about my status: single at thirty five but the thought of having a baby out of wedlock would not sound appealing to her. For various reasons: family, church and the society as a whole. Mummy is an elder at church. Lots of people at church also look up to me. I can't begin to imagine being up the duff. No husband. Yet, I feel like I'm running out of time.
Whatever it is, I just long for a family I can call my own and for this loneliness to cease. 'Can you carry your nephew a little while please.' Gladys said, rudely interrupting my thoughts. Placing baby Jones on my laps. I quickly had to hold him and by the time I could speak up, she had disappeared to attend to other guests. I'm sure. I loved baby Jones and Gladys was like a little sister to me.
She was twenty six but taller and bigger in stature. I had met her two years ago at the gym where I had been working out. She was an architect and has been one of my reliable friends since then. I could count on Gladys to spend time with me any day. I guess it was easier for her to do so because her hubby was out of the country studying. She must have felt lonely sometimes, I'm sure.
I love this girl. She's so thoughtful and sweet. When the ceremony had been finally over, I had gone to the spa and then to the salon. My Spa time was always one of the times when I wished I had someone I could send a photo of me with all those facial stuff on my face to, but it was always rejuvenating for me. When I was done and had been about to drive home, I checked my phone and had ten missed calls. Oooops. Audrey had called me ten times in a row. I quickly called her back. 'Hello Yella.' 'Hello, Drey. Are you okay?' 'Silly girl, I' ve been calling you all evening' Audrey said. 'Drey, was at the spa.' 'Okay, you're so annoying, can we hang out tonight at seven, is that okay?' I did a quick mind search. No i had no engagements or so ever tonight. 'Thats okay Drey. Come to my place at seven.' 'Noooo, please meet me up at Chillies instead.' Audrey said. 'Why, whats happening at Chillies?' I questioned. 'Nothing Ella, are you gonna come or not?' 'I will.' 'See you later beautiful' 'Yeah sure, see you later Drey. Bye. Bye.'
How did Audrey convince me to accept to go to Chillies with her tonight. I couldn't believe myself. Hanging out with Audrey was always fun. Most of the time, I was spent : she was such an activity so I always preferred having her over at my place instead. That way, she didn't have too many options to choose from.
It was already past five in the evening when I arrived home. I went to the kitchen to fix myself a quick meal: rice and goat light soup, which I had made a week ago. These days I've lacked inspiration to cook unless I was expecting someone over. I always cooked and ended up eating alone all week. Whilst I waited for the rice to cook, I went to take my shower. My life was becoming boring. After, I ate my food piecemeal in silence. The house was as usual, quiet as a graveyard.
Oh God.You've been good to me but there's one pressing need: I'm lonely. Give me someone to laugh and cry with. Come through for me. Grant me just this one wish. I had stopped eating to think about my current situation. I must admit I was getting depressed in every sense. Tears streaked down my cheeks as I sat at the dinning table. Reality struck me for a while longer as I cried my heart out.
Friday Night...
Dear Sunshine Dollup,
Just got home from a long day.
Its been stressful but fruitful.
I really made my clients happy today and my outfit as always would be proud of me.
I skipped breakfast as I had lots of stuff to read before work.
I did not have time to eat lunch either but after I closed tonight, I went to Lollies to eat dinner.
How I wished I had someone to eat dinner with.
My girls called me for our usual Friday night out but this time, Senoa was going to come only to wait for her husband who was going to be closing late. Fafa said her baby wanted to hang out tonight with the boys and she wanted to go too.
I simply had to call off our Night out. It was obvious. They were all going to abandon me to go be with their hubbys. Sometimes, I get the feeling that, they only showed up in order not to disappoint me or perhaps out of empathy. Well, yes. Single of the three girls I've known since I was eighteen. I love those girls though.
Well I can't blame them. At thirty five, I could not be dependent on my girlfriends to meet my emotional needs.
So I ate dinner alone whilst peering at people. Of course I admired the ones who came with their beloved. I just wish I had a boyfriend to even eat dinner with.
I got home to an empy and quiet house as usual. 'Welcome Maam', that boring house boy greeted as always. My dogs were happy to see me but tonight, I needed more than just dogs.
As I lay in bed reflecting on the activities of the day, my big bed feels lonely. I've turned of my lights and television so I can at least think for a while, except my bedside lamp to help me update you: Sunshine Dollup.
Sunshine Dollup, I'm lonely. This loneliness is killing your girl. Didn't think I would be laying in bed alone at an age when my mates are busily trying to be called Mummy.
I would love a cuddle right now. Even a foot rub and just to lay in the arms of a masculine figure.
Well no. Poor me. I'm all alone. Just me, my bed, these teddy bears: still can't tell why I keep them and you: Sunshine Dollup who does nothing but to listen all day and all night without judging me. Why can't you cuddle me?
Why can't you?
The night is quiet. My house feels like a tomb. My life though I've achieved much, is boring. Oh how long would I have to wish and dream. How long until I wrinkle and hit menopause. Its scary. I have teary eyes having to bare my soul to you tonight Sunshine Dollup.
I'll just lay in bed and cry myself to sleep. ............
Novel taster, I call it. Stick with me as the story unfolds.
This is for beautiful Millie and for every single sister who can relate to this situation.
Sometimes people stay up all night long for various reasons. Some are unable to sleep, some find the night a more appropriate time to think through issues, others stay up with thoughts of worry flooding their minds. Burdened with every day issues to deadly diseases.
Sometimes, sleep just won't come. Perhaps, due to exhaustion and for no reason at all. When you stay up all night long, remember the story of Peter who said to Jesus that he had searched all night and had not made a catch. There's one major lesson we can draw from that story. Staying up all night long will not bring an answer to that question, neither would it bring a solution till you realise that, you cannot stay up all night long and find the answers you have been searching for by yourself.
Whatever it is, your sorrow, your doubts, your fears, hurt, disappointment etc cannot disappear because you stayed up all night long till you have learned to trust someone. Peter said: '...but according to your word....'
All I know is, that night was when he made his biggest catch ever.
I don't know what you are going through but I know that, if you'll learn to trust someone and let go off your net for once, he will make sure your troubles sink deeper in the waters whilst filling that empty net with all that your heart desires.
Next time, you end up staying up all night long due to worry or anxiety, don't forget that, there's someone waiting to sink them down the waters whilst working things out for you. Hold on!!
Do you know, there are some rural children in Ghana who can barely speak, understand or read English? Yet they still have to sit for the same B.E.C.E as other city pupils?
These rural children deserve to be able to read and speak English too
The joy of childhood must not be lost
The rural child in Ghana deserves to enjoy their childhood too
The Cuties Readerfeast team, a foundation dedicated to helping a rural child read will be in one of its three chosen communities for a Readerfeast (Read and Feast), dubbed: 'Cuties Read A Book Fete.'
Date: Saturday 2nd May, 2015.
Time:11am
Venue: Awudome Anyirawase, a village near Ho
We would love your support: books for children, food, drinks, water, cash etc.
Together, lets help a rural child to read.....
Still waiting for your donations: email cutiescreation@yahoo.com, Whatsapp, sms or call 0265921646 to send in your donations. Thank you.
Sometimes people are too quick to judge others.
People do not even take their time to find out why others behave or act the way they do. You've got to walk a mile in their shoes to be able to understand them.
I went to the bank around Makola because it was a Saturday and it was one of the few branches which worked on weekends. From the bank, I decided to go shopping since I was already around Makola market. Couldn't believe I had decided to go shopping when I could barely walk. I walked slowly taking all the time in the world irrespective of where I was. To my surprise, I heard one of the market women ask:'how can a small girl like you be walking like an old lady.' I just gazed at her and walked on. I heard another say behind me:' I think she has a problem with her legs.' I did not bother waiting to listen to their conversation so can't really tell what conclusion they came to.
I had some shopping to do and thats all that mattered. That same night, I had to attend a party. Despite making my date aware of my condition, he still didn't mind hanging out with me and I did not want to disappoint him. At the party, I sat at one place forever because I could not stand up by myself. Yet my date kept introducing me...I could not dance or do anything but every other person could. Yet, some girls stole the chance to gossip. Yes sure, women....'Who asked you to come if you can't walk. You're scared your man will end up with another girl...' Wow! I thought. What a weird way to think.
It struck my mind immediately, how we are quick to condemn or judge people without trying to find out what situation they may be in. I'm even guilty of the same thing but I guess I learned after my experience. Those market women, did not know me or my story. Neither did they know why I was limping on all legs. Obviously, they could not have asked me. Nothing showed I was ill. No not my face or skin and my legs were all covered up because of the leggings I was wearing. Perhaps if my legs had been exposed, it would have helped them better.
As for the girls at the party, they could obviously see that my legs were sick from the way I walked and how unusually fat my legs looked in the shorts jumpsuit that I wore. I mean for my size I guess it was obvious. How I could not get up by myself not to even get a drink and was being aided to walk might have said it all. Yet to them, people with sickly legs should be at home, on bed rest and not partying. My presence at the party automatically told them just one thing: I was there to check my man. Hilarious!
That's how quick we are as human beings to judge:to form one's opinion of something without taking our time to find out what exactly may be the problem.
This happens daily. It happens all the time, most people do it but, the next time you decide to judge someone, may I ask: if you can try walking just a mile in the persons shoes? Can you walk a mile in that married woman's shoes? Just to find out why she is so possessive and jealous when you go near her husband? Can you walk a mile in that man's shoes ? Just to find out why he is so paranoid and doesn't trust women, before you decide to judge him?
If you can't walk a mile in my shoes, Don't you dare judge me!!
If you can't walk a mile in my shoes, don't judge me!
If you can't walk a mile in their shoes, don't judge them!
When everyone goes to a party with girls who can dance and walk, you show up with a limping girl, who can't dance.. Or can barely walk....... I kept teasing you about it, your smile said it all: 'I want to get up, I want to sit down, I want a drink, I want to go out...' I dey worry, I'm aware..thank you. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive throughout these few days.
There are some books you read
You can never stop reading
You want to read them over and over again.
There are some sweets you eat
They stain your teeth forever
There are some roads you walk
You never want to stop walking
Not even after learning all the curves, potholes and ramps on it
You can never get tired or bored walking on the same road
There are some songs you sing and want to sing for the rest of your life
There are some dances you do
And want to do over and over again
There are some songs you learn to sing and end up singing forever....
I'll keep reading your book till I can read it without looking into it
I'll keep eating that sweet till no amount of brushing it off can take away the stain
I'll keep walking that road till I can walk on it with my eyes closed
I'll do that dance and sing that song again and again.
I'll walk the longest mile to be with you
I'll climb the highest mountain to get to you.
There are some faces you see
and always remember
They become like images in your minds' eye
There are some people you meet
and can never forget
They touch your life in special ways
They teach you sweet and bitter lessons
They build you up and make sure all you do is smile
They make you forget your flaws
and scars
I'm not perfect
I make mistakes too
I don't have a flawless skin
I have scars too
I'm not the most gorgeous of all of them
Yet
You say I'm perfect, great, with beautiful skin and the most gorgeous of all..
You say I'm such a beautiful soul
You say I'm such a damsel
You say my heart is green
You say my smile is refreshing
You say my voice is like sunshine
Like rain...
You say my eyes are beautiful
You keep showing me off to the whole world:
You keep posting my photos
You keep mentioning my name
Above all
You keep making me feel special
When I ask what I did to deserve such a special person like you,
You stare at me and tell me:
I'll starr you in my next life:
I starred you yesterday, I'm starring you today and I'll starr you again tomorrow because
My Lily is a queen
Queen Lily
Lily Fields
Its my script,
My movie:
Starring you...
Lily Fields ....
Damn the prevailing circumstances,
I'll starr you again and again
My Lily Fields.
Sometimes you go searching for flowers and find gems instead. Sometimes you just go ice-cream tasting and get addicted to strawberry :)
What can you do.......
This is for Lala and Blay.
A bird singing
Mash April
Singing and flying from house to house
Dancing to its glorious tune
From tree to house
From mountain to river
Singing a morning hymn that only
those who sing can comprehend its meaning
Mash April
Clap clap clap
Clap your hands
Dance dance dance
Dance to the beat
Sing sing sing
Sing along
Mash April
Clap your hands, sing along and dance
April baby
April goddess
April gem
April flower
April quirky
April calm
Sweet April
Mash April
Lets write a love story
Like you and August did through mother February with the aid of Father September years ago
This time I will be the muse
Love is here
April love
Mash April
Make a wish
Blow your candles
Cut your cake
Take a dance
Pop the champagne
Take your first kiss
Feel the sweetness
Love is in the air
Mash April
Aprillllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Long time, no blogging :)
Yesterday, God used a certain man I did not know, had never seen or spent more than five minutes with to bless me. I had been praying about it and he came through for me in less than thirty minutes. God bless that man, as you looked at me and decided to show me kindness when you had no idea I needed it, God bless you and make you laugh for the rest of your life: may you never know sorrow in this life...amen.
I would like to say thank you to everyone for the show of love yesterday. The funny part : the hospital calling to wish me well. Love you guys at Resolve Medical Center though you freak me out. Thank you for the status updates, the display pictures, the calls, the gifts, the well wishes and the prayers. This year, someone wrote me an essay: Hahahahah. ...now let me have a good laugh. Didn't know I possessed such qualities. Advice well noted. Thank you for the essay but I loved it.
Someone thought I deserved a surprise mini party: cooked for me, invited friends, hid them and had them.......me till my pants were soaked, popped champagne and made me laugh so hard. You caught me off guard. From December till now, you and your friends have always made me feel special. Yesterday, you made me feel special as well. For every single minute that you have made me feel special, may God who made the heaven and the earth make you special amongst men all the days of your life. I really appreciate the effort and time. Thank you.
Some other person thought I deserved a treat.
Thank you for the cake.
For the beautiful.....which I really appreciate. God bless you.
Thank you to my little sister. You act like I'm your celeb. At least wait till I become one before you show me off to the world but you won't listen.
The only mad girl I know, who started treating me like a celeb a week before 7th April, mad girl, thank you.
Apparently, I had been taking money from someone for Pizza since April began all in the name of....., thank you.
I really appreciate all the love from all of you yesterday.
Thanks everyone.
Eyes watching
Devlish eyes
Every step of the way
When I trip he laughs
When I stand tall
He cries
I see scorn in his eyes
Eyes so red
His eyes rape me.
Arms so heavy
A man ought to be ugly and fierce
The most ugly of all men
Never seen an ugly man in my entire life
Drugs me
Beats me
Steals from me
Loves to see me weep
Takes my dignity without permission
He doesn't deserve to be a friend
As wrong as it feels
As sickly as it may feel
The most uncouth
Unpolished
Ugly
The smallest of all glasses I have ever and would probably ever see
Whatever it is
Don't sleep with the enemy
and call it sleeping with the enemy
Brings you trouble
Brings you ill luck
Floating videos
Clouds of doom
Clouds of darkness
Sleeping with the enemy! !
This will definitely...............
controversies.
Inspired by a book I read: 'Sleeping with an enemy' written by Rev. Francis Yalley.
Cherish the people who call you friends.
Cherish the people you call friends
Cherish them.
Cherish the people who pray for you
Cherish the people who pray with you
Its the best thing anyone can do for you
Cherish them.
Cherish the people who call you
Cherish the people you call
Cherish the people who can just leave all they have to do to have deep conversations with you.
Cherish the people who have drinks with you
Cherish the people you have a drink with
Cherish them.
Cherish the people who laugh with you
Cherish the people who cry with you
Cherish them.
Cherish people for choosing to be your friend when they had a hundred options to choose from.
Cherish the boy who adores you when there are a hundred other girls to choose from.
Cherish that dude who looks at your face and writes you a fat cheque
He's not stupid
He just likes to share his money with you.
Cherish the girl who kisses you
She's not clingy
Kissing you feels like she has never kissed her entire life because it feels right
Its not because you are a good kisser.
Cherish the guy who hugs you like you are his world
Its not because you smell super nice of some J'lo but because hugging you feels special.
Stop with the attitude and lose talk.
I think people should stop wasting time on people who do not cherish the little things in life. A couple of months ago, I went out of town. This was a trip I had been looking forward to and had ended up postponing for so long. Finally I went. It felt lonely in the midst of strangers; white and black. Apart from the public places I went to, I was lonely most of the time. I still appreciate those two special girls I met from Botswana and Cameroon. It felt like I had met my own sisters. Talking about nothing special from make up, hair, food, movies to babies. That evening, I was so elated. At last I had gotten people to talk to. You didn't have to text me, I think I kept calling people all the time on viber just to talk. I learned to cherish having people to talk to
People should stop wasting time on people who do not cherish them. People should learn to cherish others. When people leave all they have to do to give you attention, they aren't idle or fools. Cherish them. Cherish people whilst they are alive. Stop writing them long tributes when they are dead. Celebrate them when they are alive. Forgive easily, help when you can, laugh and cry with them, if you can't choose to be their audience. Don't hurt them. Smile at them. Listen to them. Be nice to people, know what to say at the right time. If not, learn to shut up. Sometimes people aren't anti-social, they just choose to be instead of wasting time with stupid people. Don't wait till you lose them to realise you could have been nicer. Cherish, cherish people. Write them nice things to read and laugh instead of writing them long tributes full of things you wish you had done for them . They can't hear you. They would cherish it better than the farewell notes and so called tributes. People should stop with the hypocrisy.
This one has to be for my new friend at ******. I love it when you scream my name and blow me kisses when I turn to look at you....xxx
'Like evening
Darkness sets on the souls of men
And lingers on forever
Complete darkness'
So Friday night, the worst happened just when I thought I would experience some calm.
After spending about thirty minutes at tawala, I decided to satisfy my craving for the night; urban taste fried rice. Apparently, urban taste had moved from their old location on the main Dzorwulu-Perez chapel stretch of road so we had to make a U-turn to get back to Shaka Zulu. My friend and I decided we would not go and make another U-turn just to get to Urban taste. Emil decided to park across the street by J.A Plant Pool. As usual, it was total darkness in that part of Accra and the traffic lights were not working.
I chose to stay in the car because my ankle hurt after I hit it against a shrub in the sands at tawala. He did not return with the food and I was expecting to hear that we would have to wait for a while for the food but instead, he was in a haste to move the car. I had a packed night and could not wait to get home to freshen up and go wherever. 'We have to go to the hospital, a guy just got knocked down by a vehicle', he told me.
I was stunned to learn the driver had sped off after running him over.
Getting to the hospital was such a struggle. I kept looking back at the taxi which followed us closely carrying the victim. I could see his head move from time to time in the back seat. It was such a relief knowing he was still alive. We finally got to the Police Hospital and my friend rushed out of the car to go to the O.P.D. I got out to go stand by the taxi by the victim. A close look at his face sent shills down my spine. He was crying out in pain. His left arm was broken and disjointed from its main socket joining it to his shoulder and even in the black and white long sleeve shirt he wore I could see that he had lost his arm.
He cried out in pain. 'Help me, is this my end? Eric... help me please'. 'Sorry' was all I could manage to say. I did not know what to say to him. I began to cry but realised I needed to be strong for the man in this situation to know that it wasn't over for him and that he was going to be fine. 'God help me, God help me. My arm is broken...' I started to say a prayer for him. I said to him;'yes , keep calling on God, he's the only one who can save you. Call unto him, he can hear you, he will heal you.You will be okay.' 'Okay' he replied. I began to pray. I decided to ask him; 'what's your name please? ' 'Eric Gyamfi.' 'Is there someone I can get in touch with for you, like a relative?' 'Yes, please check my phone.' The taxi driver told me his phone had fallen down at the exact spot where he got knocked down. I asked if he could recall anyone's number but he said no. So I asked, how do I locate his family. He said to me that he was a Pastor and showed me the exact location of his church. I quickly saved the information on my phone. 'You are a pastor, you know God can see you through. Please hold on to your faith. Speak to your God. I trust him to see you through. ' When I said this, I meant it.
I kept praying for him as I stood beside him talking with him. Some nurses had closed and were going home. They also came to speak with him. Consoling him. Yet those who needed to take care of him would not. All this while, he still sat in the taxi and fifteen minutes was gone since we arrived at the hospital. I got upset with the slow nature of the entire procedure. They just came and leered at him and then went back. They came again to say the place was full up. The final time, they came to say he should walk to the O.P.D because there was no stretcher available. I asked the nurse how a man with a broken leg and an arm off could walk. He got my message because I was getting upset and he just disappeared and came back with a stretcher. Getting him out of the car was such a task. I had to turn my back to them because I couldn't stand watching him suffer.
Emil had to get him a hospital card and pay before treatment could commence. Treatment only commenced after twenty minutes after we arrived at the hospital. Then I stood watching them treat him from the glass doors. They were so close I could hear them. The only thing separating us: the doors. The man was still conscious. He seemed to have relaxed a bit once they had commenced treatment. I watched as they shaved his head apparently due to the cut. I watched as they put drips on him. I watched as they cut his shirt inorder to have access to his arms and clean him up. To me, not much was being done yet he seemed calm now. He was no more crying out in pain.
My friend stepped outside and asked me to go with him. He had with him Eric's wallet. Just then, something fell onto the floor. I watched as Emil picked it up. It was his wedding band. 'Bad man' Emil said. We both burst into laughter. 'Oh no, he says he's a pastor.' Oh well, at this point I needed him to get better and not judge him. I had to be the witness here as they went through his wallet. We found a piece of paper with some numbers written on it and decided to try them. Perhaps we could reach Eric's family. We called the first number and he said he was in Kumasi but knew him very well. He then offered to give us his phone number but we said thank you and cut the call.
Then we tried the second number. This person knew Eric too and gave us his wife's number.
Finally, we got in touch with her and asked her to meet us at the hospital because her husband was involved in an accident. We went back to where Eric was being treated. Again Emil went inside whilst the chicken stood outside watching them through the glass doors. This time Eric was asking for food. He kept saying he was hungry. I could see his stomach jump up and down , at least that's how it looked to me, whilst the medics worked on him. I thought they were rather too slow and could not comprehend why several of them stood there yet not much was being done. I moved away a little bit to call Eric's wife again. This time she said she was almost at the hospital. I heaved a sigh of relief. I resumed my post by the door.
'Please give me water, I'm thirsty' Eric said. 'I want water, water....' This time he got me real scared. I was still praying and pacing back and forth but stopped to stand closer to the door now. I had heard stories of people asking for water before they died. So I just had a feeling this wasn't right. Oh Eric please hang in there, you will be okay, I prayed silently. 'Jesu-s, Jesus, Jesu-s. Please give me water to drink. Give me water and let me die. Wate- r pleas-se.' He kept screaming. The medics still worked on him. 'Do we have to give him water? ' Emil asked. 'No' said the doctor as they kept on attending to Eric. Just then Eric shut his mouth and closed his eyes. Then I saw him lay still. That scared me but I held on to my faith. I had that bad feeling, he would die yet I remembered Psalm 118:17 , 'I shall not die but live to declare the works of God.' Eric shall not die I kept praying. A man's life shall be up to seventy years and beyond, Eric isn't seventy yet. In the bible, you raised Lazarus from the dead though he had been gone for days. May every dead thing in this body come alive in Jesus name.
Eric lay still and did not move. I wanted to cry. 'Whats wrong with him?' I inquired but no one answered me. Rather one of the nurses started pumping his heart with his hands. 'Is he okay?' I asked again. The whole team of medics were silent now. They just stared at me and stared back at Eric. The male nurse kept pumping his heart yet Eric didn't regain consciousness. 'Whats happening to him?' I asked again. 'He's being revived' said a police man to me. He had brought some patients who were in detention at his station and so had been watching closely. 'Why are they trying to revive him? Is he dead?' Apparently, I was asking dumb questions. He was dead. Then they started getting the needles out of him and everything they had been doing for Eric stopped and the medics started dispersing. Oh no, he was dead. I began to cry out loud. 'You guys killed him finally with your lackadaisical attitude'. They all turned to look at me. I was inconsolable as I cried. People tried holding me. Then I saw Emil. He pulled me into his arms and said; 'Its okay.' I didn't know I had that much strength. I pulled out of his arms and every attempt to pull me back failed as I would not let him. Some of the medics followed us. Trying to make me understand that he would have died because he bled too much.
I just ignored them and walked on to the parking lot. Bunch of hypocrites. Is your duty to save lives or to determine which ones to save. I thought to myself. Emil told me the doctor was just trying to stabilize his condition so they could transfer him to Korle-bu. 'Emil, please. I don't want to hear about those people. They did nothing for the guy. I was there. Please don't patronise me.' People even thought I was a relation but I do not have to be related to a man to feel his pain or cry because he lay still. Just then a taxi stopped and I saw a woman come out of it. She was with a baby and a teenager. That could be Eric's wife I said to Emil. The medics told me to wipe my tears and stop crying so the woman would not suspect a thing. Emil went to speak with her. Just then I turned back to look. The morgue can was being wheeled to take him so Emil led her through the opposite walk way to the doctor's consulting room. I went back with the medics to see Eric being cleaned up. I didn't like the smell of the place now. Oh. He just lay still. I could not believe it. He was talking a few minutes ago. He looked so lively.
I went to sit with the teenage girl and the little girl that Eric's wife had come to the hospital with. I learned that the little girl was his only child and the teenage girl, their help. 'Is he badly injured?' Inquired the teenage girl. I didn't know what to say. 'His arm is broken' 'Oh daddy.' I walked away so she wouldn't see me cry just in time to find Eric's wife who had been led to where he lay crying. She patted him on the chest talking to him. I could not hear a word because by this time the stretcher had been moved farther inside.
The medics looked like they had seen a ghost. I looked at their faces and saw hypocrisy written on them. Same people who did not want to treat him an hour or so ago, same people feeling sorry. Same people who took forever to get him out of the taxi and commence treatment, same people looking stunned. Why be a nurse if you do not have the passion to save lives?
This brings to bare the fact that, my country is ill equipped to handle such emergencies. Yes. I did not see all those equipments I see in the movies. I also did not see the medics rushing to save this life like they do in the movies. I also did not see that desire to ensure this man came out alive like I see in the movies. Even when they were losing him, I did not see a CPR or the team rushing to save him. Everything was wrong from the minute we arrived at the hospital. It felt like Emil and I were the only ones who wanted him alive. Yes. I did not see or feel the attitude of well meaning medics.
In Ghana, the nurses are only friendly and nice if you visit a private hospital because over there, they stand to lose their jobs if they aren't. In the public hospitals where most people are forced to go because of a referral , the nurses are curt and insensitive to the phlights of the people: the reason they are there. Well apart from the nurses at the Cardio unit at Korle-bu, I do not know any other public hospital nurses who are all friendly and kind. In most places, majority of them are not. God bless the few nurses and doctors who will move heaven and earth to ensure the safety of their patients. Back to my own friendly team at the VRA hospital and the doctors and nurses who worked on me a little over a year ago. They made me feel like I did not deserve to go through the cuts and needles thing at all. Such angels. God bless them all.
Our current power outage situation has made it easier for people to commit crimes and get away with it. Yes, if the street lights had been on, if only the traffic lights were working around Dzorwulu on Friday the 13th of March, I'm sure it would have been easier to track down whoever run Eric over. People around would have seen it as well.
We as a people must change our attitudes towards certain things. No one in this country is willing to help anyone in distress. Yes because in the end, the helper becomes the bad person. Just like Eric's family is suspecting Emil of being the one who run him over when the real driver is resting somewhere else. Emil paid Eric's bills and I do not think we took Eric to the hospital because we wanted him dead. The evidence is clear. Nothing on the car shows that there was an accident. Taxi driver confirms taking victim to the hospital in his taxi driving right behind us. Police at the hospital confirm checks did not reveal anything contrary to our side of the story. Onlookers at the scene confirm that Emil and I were just helpers. Why is it so difficult for us as a people to accept the real truth. Why won't people just go on their way if they find a man in such a situation next time?
What about that meanie who ran away? I have had sleepless nights since Friday. I have skipped meals and been in shock. I have been very scared and he or she lives a free man. I leave him to God.
One thing people keep asking me. 'Did you lead him to confess christ?' No I did not. Firstly I have never been faced with such a situation to know how to respond appropriately. Secondly, , though I kept praying for Eric, I did not envisage he would die. I felt it whilst praying that we would lose him but again, I could not be sure. I had so much faith in God. I have never been faced with such a situation. Thirdly, Eric said to me, he was a Pastor. I assumed that as a pastor, he knew what to do in his distress and saw no need to lead him to confess Christ though something kept pushing me to remind him to confess christ. Again, if I did that, it would mean that I was writing the man off and giving him little hope. Well you do not only need to confess Christ when the end is near. Confession must be done often, is it? I'm not sure. I can't tell what was running through his mind when we were having a chat on arrival at the hospital. Perhaps he saw the end.
Sad ending for a man whose only aim was to have a meal at Urban taste on foot because he had been involved in an accident three or so days ago damaging his car completely. What happens to that little girl who is barely two years? And his wife? If I'm feeling this burdened and broken, I cannot begin to envisage their pain. God comfort them. I cannot say RIP to Eric because watching him go, I rather think it is an inappropriate expression to use. I think Rest well will sound better.
Through you,
I witnessed someone die
Through you I discovered the lapses in our system.
Through you,
I know I still love people no matter who they are.
Through you, I'm reminded I cannot be a nurse
I'm too sympathetic towards the plight of others I cannot stand piercing someone with a needle
I have learned a dozen lessons
I do not regret meeting you a few hours before you died.
Rest well Eric
May your soul find rest in the splendour of the almighty.
To my friend Emil.
You are one in a million.
Not every man cries when another man dies, you got me laughing hard though after asking me not to cry, you ended up crying too.
I admire you for helping a stranger and attaching so much importance to it.
I'm still learning.
Based on a true life story:
13th March, 2015.
Been depressed for days but I finally found the courage and strength to write this. Not the best but seriously I don't think I can do better. Writing this hurt. Now everyone knows why I've been so withdrawn.
Like chaff,
Mans life is blown away
Blown with the wind
To an unknown place
Like wax
Mans life melts away
Melted with each wax
Melted away
Like evening
Darkness sets on the souls of men
And lingers on forever
Complete darkness'
Life like sands
Sands of time
You write in it and
with time
It fades away
What you write becomes invisible
With time
Life ....
Life.....
When it's time to fade away!
Life like a book
Written page after page
Chapter to chapter
Then the end!
Life like a movie
You act out your script every day
Then one day
The movie;
No more parts
You are just done acting
Your movie is done
The end...
Chilly
Cruel
It ends !
'So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom (Psalm 90:12 ).
Last night I learned that it takes longer to take your first breath than the last one. One minute you can hear somebody talk through the door asking for food, another minute water and he begs for it so much, the next second he shuts his eyes and lips. He lays still.
Those medics looked at me and told me he was gone. Whilst I watched them do nothing when he was about to go.
Even in that state,
they kept telling me
He will be okay.
Where okay probably meant; 'Okay in another world' not this one..
I'm still in shock.
Sleep deprived
Loss of appetite
Traumatised
My heart is bleeding .
Chilly and cruel.
I can't even write.
I cannot see the sun from where I sit but I know that this too shall pass.
Still continuing my post from yesterday. I would love some answers but of course I'm not expecting any.
Why can't people say thank you? I remember picking up this lesson at age eight or so during my U.P.S days. Saying 'sorry, please and thank you.' I've lived my whole life remembering this vital lesson. Thank you is a word that is so missing from some peoples' vocabulary. Do the most minute thing for them, they will never say thank you. Do them the most important favour, they will still not say it. Its just not their thing. I have this friend who kept pestering me for something he needed and he thought I could get it for him. He made it sound like his next breath depended on it. I finally got it for him and only heard from him after a few weeks. We resumed our friendship like nothing happened. I was not expecting a thank you though. There's nothing wrong with saying thank you. There's nothing wrong with showing appreciation. You lose nothing so why can't people say those words? Is it their upbringing? No! Its just not their style.
These days, people use the phrase; 'I love you' for the fun of it. Do they really know what that means? How can you love someone and be unforgiving towards the person? How can you love someone and not share stuff with them when they need it most. Please say it and mean it. If not, do not say it all. Don't let others lose the appropriate meaning of the word just because you choose to use it wrongly. It's not fair.
Why do some guys choose to insult girls who turn them down when they ask them out? Sometimes, they choose social media platforms to do it and the girl becomes the topic for discussion due to the status they put up. The girl automatically becomes their enemy. They would hate her with passion. Please love isn't by force. Real gentlemen bow out gracefully. No need insulting the girl. Sometimes people aren't looking for love. They are just looking for a pizza eating mate in you.
I just realized some men can nag more than women. Seriously its not fun at all. Even women are trying to stop nagging. Hahahahah.
I want to understand why people choose to be in occupations involving customer service. I'm sure you knew what you were in for, choosing such a profession so, deal with it. My fellow sisters especially who bring their mood to work. Quit your job or close down if you can't be nice to people, its that simple. Don't make others suffer tolerating your curt behaviour.
Well again,
That's my opinion
I beg to differ.
You are entitled to yours.
The Puppishgirl is entitled to hers too.
Today, there are a few issues I would like to discuss on here. Yes because I need some answers though I won't get any. I'm sure.
Why do people spit everywhere in Ghana? Illiterates do it, the literates do it too. You see a woman walking on the streets of the capital and they just spit and walk on like nothing happened. They aren't pregnant too. Being pregnant doesn't give you the freedom to spit everywhere. You see a man in a tuxedo riding in a touareg and he opens his car door in traffic just to spit. Ouchhhhh. What's this spitting all over business. Please spitting in public is rude. Crass behaviour! And you won't do it with caution too. I beg to differ but I think spitting about should be prohibited in Ghana.
Lately, you see girls all over with their front hairline bare and then their long extensions. Its an eyesore. No disrespect. Sisters who are you competing with? Can't you see you are going bald? Call it alopecia. Losing your hair in the name of fashion? What's wrong if you leave your own hair on for a while. Just to let your hair regain its strength? Please go easy on your hair. Enough of the weaves and braids. Do you know you can go bald? Would you prefer that?
What's this new trend in town? Guys growing their nails. How do you use those long nails on your wives and girlfriends? Let me ask, are you going to have your nails done? Well if no, please cut them. Or its simple, paint them. That's all! Personally I think guys shouldn't grow their nails, my opinion. I beg to differ.
Why are some sisters trying so hard to wear their beach clothes to church? Seriously, what for? Church is supposed to be a haven for all. The guys should be able to get a break away from the beach clothes when they go to church yet the church is where some of my sisters want to show off extra flesh. It's good to be fashionable but please reserve your beach clothes for the beach. Give the guys a break. They don't want to see beach clothes in church. When I see you in beach clothes at church, I would expect to see nice ass, nice boobs, nice legs and thighs as well as beautiful skin. Sister if you are lacking in that department, cover it up. You are going to church not to white sands beach, thank you!
I won't talk about the anklets and toe rings. I won't act like a saint. If you knew me during undergraduate days, I was a number one fan of anklets and toe rings so you would probably find me annoying now. Infact I started wearing them right after SHS. Yes I say it boldly because I do not want to sound like a hypocrite. Do what makes you happy but not to church because then you are compelled to reveal more flesh and some of you choose beach clothes.
I went to one of the big churches in Accra. It's a church with branches across the globe but I ended up staying in the car all through the service because I was coming from a wedding. Dressed in a little above the knee dress with just one sleeve. The ushers told me I could not go in. That's how I learned my lesson. Be fashionable but when going to church, tone down on the revealing clothes please.
I also got invited to another big church in the capital by a friend. I had an awesome time though lead singer was dressed to go shopping. Her singing was good. She over-danced, she forgot I'm sure and gave us a good showing of her........
Quite embarrassing I guess but who asked you to wear your shopping dress to church as lead singer? Compelling people to look at nothing in particular. Ass; zero. Thighs; zero. Legs; zero. Will end it there.....
I think people should learn to dress appropriately to suit whatever occasion they are attending.
Just a piece of my mind.
Just my opinion.
You are entitled to yours.
The Puppishgirl is entitled to hers too!
'Sad, depressed, burdened
Broken, tears unlimited, torture
A knife through my heart'
I was on my way home from church a few hours ago when this little voice kept calling me:'madam, madam.' I turned to find a little girl behind me. 'Good evening madam' I did not know what to expect so I just responded:'Good evening, how are you? ' 'Please can I follow you home to live with you?' I was lost for words but still managed to ask 'why would you want to follow me home?' 'Because I know you can help me.' Eeeii I thought to myself. A girl in dirty clothes looking up to me to assist her. Finally, the witches in my village have visited me and decided to do it on my way from church. Yes, after church. I thought to myself....just a joke though...Hahahahah. I wondered why of all the people she had met today, she chose me as the right person to take her home. That's blood cuddling I thought taking a good look at the little girl who stood before me.
I could not comprehend what was happening but after a while I regained my composure. I wanted some answers. What had happened to her own home? According to her, she lived with her cousins but they had been ejected by their landlord and the cousins had asked her to wait for them because they were going to check something but they never returned. It's been two weeks and she's had no place to sleep but in the market.
Where were her parents? She said she was an orphan. After talking with her I had heard stories of a guy attempting to rape her, how she was labelled a witch and how she could not take me to their old house because no one wanted to see her face in the neighbourhood.
The stories did not fit in at all and her unwillingness to co-operate with me baffled my mind. First thing that came to mind; take her to the police yet I didn't. She looked tired and hungry. I offered to pay for her meal but she declined saying she needed a place to stay the night and beyond. I guess accommodation was first on her scale of preference. Yes because apparently all she had eaten was fifty pesewas roasted plantain all day. She looked so innocent but she was not willing to take me to her old house. How then would I know that this so called fourteen year old who looked like a ten year old was being truthful.
My neighbour was willing to accommodate her but was not ready to go to the police. He finally left her to go to town. Lots of people had spoken to her yet no one wanted to go to the police. I even heard that in my absence, a certain man; man of God he claims pronounced her possessed. I sought legal advice before taking any action. In the end since no one was willing to go with me to the police, and I could not predict the little girls actions if she had to narrate her story to the police, Human beings are funny.So though I really wanted to help this little soul, I did not. No one was willing to help her too. They all wanted me to be the one to take her to the Police Station.
I sat with her to have a drink. This time she accepted my offer. I explained to her that she would have to go back to the market to sleep just for another night and return early tomorrow morning so I can see how best to assist her. I gave her money to last her for three days, I'm sure and told her to have a good meal tomorrow. James looked on as I struggled to part with this girl. I did not want to let her go but everyone said it was for the best. As I watched her leave, my heart tore to pieces. I began to cry. The pain of watching this little girl go and spend the night in some unknown place. As I cried, my friend tried to console me. Why did her cousins let her go? Why are people so mean sometimes. Possessed or not, what happened to deliverance and all. Why the discrimination because a young girl decided to have a voice by exposing a wanna be rapist?
I just wished this was happening somewhere in Africa because I know a man who loves the rejected, possessed or not. He would make them his responsibility.
Here I am, saddened, depressed, broken. I can't sleep knowing that little girl is out there, no bed, no shelter, nothing. Burdened with the responsibility of what her fate would be tomorrow. I'm feeling shitty. I would probably cry all night knowing I could have helped her but did not. I'm in for the long haul.
Blessing, I'm sorry I couldn't be of help. Where ever you are, my heart and thoughts are with you. I'm praying and believing God to see you through the night and if he can use me to salvage your situation, may tomorrow guide and lead me to you. If not, may he bring that one angel to remedy the situation. Today, you taught me another lesson and made me discover something else about me.
I won't forgive myself if something should happen to you. May God command his angels concerning you and heal a broken me.
Hoping you would be safe!
The drums beat
The flags hoisted
The dancers danced
The singers sang
The red, gold and green
Her children came out
Adorned in their best traditional clothes
A sense of patriotism
In the midst of all the challenges
A 58th cannot go uncelebrated
Challenged but with lots to be grateful for
Sweet wine passed around
Palm wine..
Fufu, tuo zaafi...
They feast and uphold her
A pride that will always remain
Even if they go and come
She would still be home
The red, gold and green
The blackstar
Our motherland
Let the flags fly
Let the trumphets blow
Let them stand together and join hands
To sing....
Keep the flag high
The red, gold and green
Ghana
Ghana
Ghana
Happy independence day!!
Though challenged, I still love you very much Ghana.
Not the best piece though but I'm elated....
Hope you'all at home had a good holiday.
